What would you do if your sister is a lesbian?
By yenwie84
@yenwie84 (1344)
Malaysia
July 9, 2008 6:44pm CST
My friend told me that her elder sister is a lesbian and staying with her girlfriend now. My friend felt so upset about this. It's true everyone has the right to choose which kind of partner they want,whether a guy or a girl. But for the family especially the parents are hard to accept this truth. Her sister is still hiding this truth from her family,but it's too obvious that my friend could get some hints from there. Every time when my friend wants to stay at her sister's house,her sister will become very secretive,trying to hide something from her. My friend felt so bad about this. She is in dilemma now whether want to tell her parents or not. If you were my friend,would you tell your parents about this? I can't imagine how would parents feel when they get to know her daughter is a lesbian and now staying with the girlfriend...It's terrible. Please share with me,have a good day.
7 people like this
32 responses
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
9 Jul 08
I don't think your friend should say anything, it's not her place. It is the decision of her older sister the one who is gay if she wants to tell her parents or not. This should not be a problem for anyone, why can't they continue loving her the same way they did before this came out? She is still the same person.
2 people like this
@Bugsey (775)
• United States
10 Jul 08
I certainly agree. Gender choice is a private matter and being a lesbian does not make you LESS a person or LESS lovable. If I had a sister who was a lesbian I would love her more and not make her life difficult by treating her as if she had some kind of disease.
@phoenix25 (1541)
• United States
10 Jul 08
I don't know why it's so terrible. If my sister told me she was a lesbian, I would say congratulations and we would go out and celebrate. If my son told me he was gay when he was older, I would also be supportive of his realization. I don't think sexuality is something to mourn.
1 person likes this
@jHoEn16 (2043)
• Australia
10 Jul 08
well if i wpuld be on your friends shoes i would tell my parents... i know it will hurt them same as what i feel as a sister... but you can never stop your sister anyway... and she deserve to be happy to be true to herself as being what she want... thats her choice you as a family even if its hard just show her some respect and love snd support her... in that way everybody will be happy cheers
@jHoEn16 (2043)
• Australia
10 Jul 08
and oh! i have a lots of lesbian friends, they're cool funny and good... and i know what theyve been through too... my hubby's younger sister the twins are both lesbian but they are gorgeous, professional teachers and theyre good and funny... so tell your friend that having a lesbian sister is not bad
@rpegan (596)
• United States
9 Jul 08
There's nothing terrible about that. Your friend needs to face the fact that a) it's not her place to break the news and b) her sister's not going to magically stop being a lesbian.
People always go on about how hard it is for the family, but that's complete trash. Think about how hard it is to live a life of secrets. You should feel at home with your family, and family should be accepting of such things. It's a shame we live in such a close-minded world.
@mndricha2 (76)
• United States
10 Jul 08
oh your totally right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People hate to see others happy, and its so pathetic!
They should be happy , she found some one to love, PERIOD!
1 person likes this
@TAYSON0076 (214)
• Egypt
10 Jul 08
he must try to make her stop by nice way and try three times or two but if she declined he had to till his parents
and i think they can do the best thing to make her stop cuz she must stop
@TAYSON0076 (214)
• Egypt
10 Jul 08
hay man i think it to bad and this is not normal g.a.y.s and lebisen they help lots viruses like adz and more to reach and be dangerous on the normal ppl i think to make her stop is best for her
thats my opinion
@munhozmib (3837)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
10 Jul 08
Hello!
I don't think it's any big deal. If, one day, I have a daughter that is a lesbian, I won't care. As long as she is with someone she loves, then there is no problem at all. She won't get pregnant either, which means they can have as much fun as they want together without bringing any further problems to home. And why should people be sad about this? There's nothing wrong with all this!
I think that your friend should not tell her parents. Let her sister do what she thinks that is correct. It's very delicated and could bring problems if revealed at the wrong moment.
Respectfully,
Munhozmib.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Dec 08
A sister that cares about her relationship with her sister would just stay out of it and let the sister handle it herself in her own time. If her sister is out on her own and chooses to keep it a secret, then there is probably a very good reason for this....like knowing that her family probably won't accept what she can't help being. It really is not your friend's place to be running and tatteling to the parents what she "thinks" she knows about her sister.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
10 Jul 08
Hi yenwie, I don't believe your friend should tell her parents, her sister will do that herself when she is ready. If the parents love their daughter they will accept it. It can be difficult for parents sometimes because they worry so much about their children. We have to accept the fact that people are born that way and they can't help it. I have a brother who is gay and he and his partner are just wonderful people, I could never ask for a better brother. Your friend should talk to her sister and tell her that she understands and will always love her. Blessings.
@darkangel079 (1498)
• United States
10 Jul 08
If my sister was a lesbian that's here business and her life. She's still going to be my sister no matter what. But she not because she married to a cool dude they been married now for 5 months.
@mndricha2 (76)
• United States
10 Jul 08
Terrible?? Oh My... Whats terrible in this situation is that your friend and your friends family are acting like they're some kind of victim..lol Whats really terrible is that your friends sister would have to hide anything in her life. Being a lesbian means ---you choose a woman as your lover--- Thats noones business but who is in the bedroom. If people had lives of their own they wouldnt be so worried about other peoples HAPPINESS!
Sorry to sound so harsh i just think its pathetic that people can't stand to see others happy. Who cares who its worth. How many straight families last these days??? Not that gay couples are perfect because thats No way the case, but they are happy. People spend their whole lives looking for happiness.. and she found it! Good for her!
@gabreella (12)
• United States
10 Jul 08
She should tell her sister that she needs to tell her parents. Its not her responibility and she needs to share with her sister that its not okay for her to think its okay to haev her keeping that big of secret from her family.
@kissuchi2002 (49)
• United States
3 Dec 08
it is not your friend's place to tell her parents, that would be way out of line. And tell her to get over herself, so what if her her sister is a lesbian? she has the right to love whomever she chooses.
@cindystoufflet (299)
• United States
10 Jul 08
I have a son that is gay. He was very affraid to tell me thinking i would not accept his lifestyle. I knew it be fore he did. I watched him struggle with admitting it to himself. It was not his choice its what he is. And for any parent to turn their back on their child no matter what the situation is, it is deplorably wrong. A mothers love can not be turned off like a water facet. I love my son for who he is not what he chooses. If she decided to vote for a precident that was not of her parents choosing would the parent disown her? I think not. So how is there any difference in any other choices that they make. Don't get me wrong i also believe in tough love. Where you don't enable your child to do something that is put their life in danger.
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
10 Jul 08
If my sister was a lesbian I of course would support her and try to help her see that there is nothing wrong with that. Yes, there are hateful people out there , but the people who matter most in your life won't care . Many parents already have an idea that their child maybe gay . Other parents it may take them longer to accept that fact , but the thing is they will come around .
@shuishendaren (9)
• China
10 Jul 08
hehe in normol times we also say we should treat gays or lesbians equally,but when it happen on ourselves we almost feel ...maybe they just need a calm talk ...when the parents know what is their daughter really need and looking for ,they maybe understand...its not as terrible as you think ,i think its easy...
@yukiyoh1105 (289)
• Philippines
10 Jul 08
It is a very difficult situation. If I'm your friend, I'll talk to my sister first to clear out the things that bothers me. Of course, my parents has the right to know about that so I'll tell my sister to tell it to our parents by herself and not from me. My sister will surely explain it very well to my parents and I think they will still accept her as a part of the family.
@msedge (4011)
• United States
10 Jul 08
If i have a sister thats a lesbian i will respect,love and accept what she is.If i were your friend she will tell her parents about her and would treat the same.She still a aprt of their family.I don't trhink theres nothing wrong with that.Thats the way she is, they can never change that.
