Do you tell your kids to fight back

@lynnchua (3416)
Singapore
July 14, 2008 3:52am CST
or not to fight back if someone picks a fight?
2 people like this
12 responses
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
14 Jul 08
Hmmmm Tough question as my son is just three and not had such situation i would love to teach him peaceful life but if necessary, and to have his right, i will not stop him to fight back as fight back sipirt is important to excel in career too, but only if u r at right Take care
1 person likes this
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
15 Jul 08
This is really tough, I used to tell my kids to be nice and don't bully other. But they tends to complain that they were bullied by friends in school. I told them to tell the teacher but sometime the teachers are too busy to bother.
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
15 Jul 08
Hmmm i can imagine, just tell ur kids to react on it and show they dont like and can resist, i am sure after this all other will be aware that they can resisit so they will careful in bullying them Wish u all the best
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I used to tell my kid to a least defend herself and use common sense to know when to back off a fight. Now she is 17 and in high school I tell her to avoid all fights, it only leads to suspension and other not so good things while in elementary kids do forget and move on to other things.
1 person likes this
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
15 Jul 08
True, at least defend themself and know when to back off. Thanx for the response.
@metschica25 (5409)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I believe in peace and not fighting . There comes a time though when you have to stand up for yourslelf and let people not walk all over you . There is a time and a place for everything too . I also think that if a child is being picked on they should fight back . I am talking about words , and never actions . No hitting I hate that
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
15 Jul 08
very true and i agree with u
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
16 Jul 08
I agree with both of you. Thanx for the response.
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
My daughter is only 2 years old. When she grows up, I think I would tell her to defend herself if someone picks a fight. To make it better I'd tell her to make sure somebody sees that somebody else is picking the fight so they wont blame her. If I were in the kids shoes and somebody picked a fight with me, I wont fight back at once but if I get pushed, I'd go directly to the higher ups (her/his parents) and demand an explanation why she was picking a fight with me. Bullies! hahaha. i do not understand why kids would pick a fight.LOL!
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
16 Jul 08
Kids are kids and the do learn "things" fast. I think that learn all these through movies or maybe TV prgrammes.
• United States
15 Jul 08
Good question, I actually teach my children to defend themselves, not fight back. There are some creative ways to get bullies to stop but showing your kids great defensive moves or putting them in a defensive techniques class is very beneficial. My daughter attended Tae kwon do, learned when not to use it, and how to use it. (Even using defensive moves, I found out will get you suspended from school) In order to not get suspended, you have to let the bully beat you up, until a staff member gets there. However, my daughter did not throw one punch according to the video, but she was able to keep from getting too hurt.
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
16 Jul 08
That's a good idea, let them learn defensive techniques. Thanx for sharing.
@Yazo0_0 (74)
• United States
15 Jul 08
My mother told me while I was a kid that I should never hit a kid and then when I grew up a little bit and she told me that it was okay to hit the person back. I honestly don't know what to do because I have my limits and if I reach those I am gonna hit the person back but not if they hit me first. My mom also told my younger sister who was much younger than me that when she started school that if she was being bullied by another girl at school that it was ok to hit them back as long as you don't hurt them seriously I don't understand is my own mother being a Hypocrite?
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
16 Jul 08
Your mother is not being a Hypocrite, don't ever commend your mom like that. Its difficult to educate a kid whether to fight back or not. If she tell you not to fight back she will afraid that you guys will be bullied. If she tell you to fight back in your younger age you won't know your limit and you might get into troubles.
@queenofarms (1665)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I have told my kids to fight back, not let someone beat the crap out of them. But anymore in school if you defend yourself you get in trouble also. My oldest son had a kid jump on his back, so in turn my son punched him in the face. My son was arrested and put on probation. This was because the kid was smaller then my son. Stupid!!!! The other boy didn't get into any trouble.
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
16 Jul 08
Poor boy, I think its a bit confusing to them for cases like this. Thanx for the response.
@SHAMRACK (8379)
• India
14 Jul 08
Dear friend, I do not have got much chances to mingle much with my dear daughter but my sister's son used to be with me more than my own daughter as I am separated and I never tent or motivated my sister's son to fight back but get things done more friendly and tackle it intelligently and more smoothly. To be precise get things done without fighting and hurting others. Be much peace giving and get things done through love and affection.
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
16 Jul 08
Hi Shamrack, thanx for the response.
@lilybug (21182)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I don't tell my son to fight back, but I do tell him that he has the right to defend himself long enough to get away from the situation and tell a teacher.
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
16 Jul 08
Thanx for the response.
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
14 Jul 08
My daughter is 16 and I tell her to just walk away when someone wants to start a fight with them. I told her to go to her counselor or principal and report them. It is so hard to walk away these days though. Kids just will not let you do that. They will follow you around or chase you down and get you or one of their friends will. I told her if she is ever in that situation, then fight back and then go report it if she can.
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
15 Jul 08
Its true that its difficult just to walk away when someone wanted to start a fight. I agree that if she is in that situation then fight back.
@cjgrooms (4457)
• United States
14 Jul 08
I use to tell my kids to never get into a fight, that if someone hit them to tell the teacher or an adult but after my youngest son started coming home beat up everyday and the teachers were doing nothing about it, i told him to beat the tar out of the next one that hit him. He did and got written up but no one has hit him since.
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
15 Jul 08
I understand that sometime teachers do not have the time to bother about all this. Just like my liitle girl, she alway comes back with messy hair because her friends like to pull her hair and she said that her teacher couldn't bother about it so I told her to tell them off. So everytime someone pull her hair she pulled back theirs and from then no one dares to pull her hair anymore.
• Singapore
8 May 09
i alway tell my kids not to bully people and not to let people bully them