Do you have any regrets in choosing your current partner?

Philippines
July 14, 2008 10:02pm CST
To my fellow MyLotters, do you have any regrets in choosing the person you're with right now? And for those who are not married, well, do you think that the person you're with is really the one for you? I don't know, there are so many fairy-tale-turned-horror-stories nowadays and it's so hard to really choose the right one. Sometimes even if you think that the person is THE ONE, there are still so many things that you don't know and which you only get to find out after you get married.. What are your insights on this?
3 people like this
31 responses
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
Hubby was my boyfriend for 8 and a half years before we tied the knot. Before we became "us", I knew him for more than a year. We have been through so much within those 8 and a half years. So many challenges because he was studying LAW, we rarely saw each other and it contributed a lot to our fights for YEARS. We even broke up the year before we got married. Almost 4 years have passed since we got married and we have lesser fights now. We have learned to talk to each other and appreciate each other as well. I have no regrets in choosing him. If I were to live my life all over again I'd look for him again and again.
2 people like this
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
I never have any regrets in my current partner becuase I love him so much. I know that we will still longer because we have similarity in our behavior and attitude. Our likes and dislikes also.
2 people like this
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
16 Jul 08
I really do not have regrets about my choice of partner. Yeah, my hubby is not perfect but he has his good points. We are very much alike in most aspects so there is really nothing much to complain about unless I am complaining about myself too! LOL Yes, there are a lot of people out there who think that they have made a bad turn or something when they chose their partners but these things can still be corrected if both parties are willing to make some changes. On the other hand, if things do not really work at all, you can always get out of the relationship.
@alkurishy (2069)
• Iraq
16 Jul 08
I am married for a 16 years, and I never have regrets in choosing my dear wife, I love her much and love my kids from her.
2 people like this
@underdogtoo (9601)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
It is very difficult when you find out the one you married is not the one in your mind. This is especially difficult if your partner is abusive. I don't just mean physical abuse because there are the police and the courts for that but also mental and psychological abuse. Sometimes they love you but just can't help being toxic to you at times.
@dmcollie (218)
• United States
15 Jul 08
In todays world with us moving at such a fast pace, We dont know what is going to come around tomorrow until it happens. Yes there are fairy tales turned horror stories but you got to look on the bright side at one time those couples were happy. other wise it would not have been a fairy tale. Can we always tell who is or was the right one no. When I met my ex-husband I thought the moment I looked into his eyes he was the one. It was a fairy tale. 2 years later I found out he wasn't what I needed or wanted. He was the one that did give me the most precious daughter in this world. so would I change it, No because I wouldn't have my daughter. I am now remarried to a older man who loves me for who I am and he loves my daughter to pieces. It was not a fairy tale of falling in love. But he knows me better some days than I know myself. Trust your heart and think with your head. Cause if you dont you might lose something big. You can not be scared cause of all these horror stories out there, or you will never live a full and happy life.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Jul 08
None. I have no regrets in choosing the love of my life. If I had not told him how I had actually felt, I would have really missed out.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Sadly a lot of people were not able to be where you are because they were too scare to say what they really felt.
1 person likes this
@msedge (4012)
• United States
15 Jul 08
Our relationship might not be perfect sometimes there are misunderstanding which is normal for a couple but i never have any regrets in chosing the man i had chose to be with.I could never find any man like him.He is the best for me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
this is true. All relationships, even the good ones, go through rough times. It's the way they choose to solve their problems is what sets them apart from others. I'm glad you found the person who suits you in all ways.
@msedge (4012)
• United States
13 Oct 08
Thank you
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
15 Jul 08
Not really. We both have our days where we just don't see eye to eye, but all in all, we are good for one another. I would not ever want to be with anyone else. We have been through alot of things in life together. We have been together for 16 years and married for thirteen yers this month.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 08
Happy Anniversary
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Sep 08
True Stephcjh... we all get into arguments both big and small... If you love each other, you'll always see each other eye to eye at the end of the day...
@dianocuz (115)
• United States
15 Jul 08
I believe life is too short to spend it with what ifs. I believe that everyone has a perfect soul-mate, and that they are out there waiting for you. I believe life is like a giant sports arena. There, you have the spectators and the players. I am a player. I do not want to spend my life watching others live theirs. True, I might get burned now and again, but your life is the richer for it. I say, get your mind off the horrors and enjoy life and love fully. Then when you are old and gray, you will have a smile that only a few will understand. The smile of the truly happy. One who has expreienced life to the full, till it overflowed with joy.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 08
I believe that was well said and my thoughts to!
• Philippines
8 Sep 08
Very nicely said dianocruz. Instead of being the spectator, be the player and the master of your own destiny. At least you don't waste time and ending up with a lot of regrets.
• United States
15 Jul 08
I would never go into a relationship with someone if I knew there would be something regrettable, or if I was unsure in anyway. I feel like I am with the one that I am meant to be with, maybe I will turn out wrong in the future, but at least I have confidence in the relationship so there will be no room for doubt or regrets!
1 person likes this
• China
15 Jul 08
everyone need to know what you like and want to get! If you have decide to choose THE ONE,be self-confident!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Sep 08
I'm glad that you know what you want and that you're confident enough in choosing the one you want to be with. Not many people are sure of what or who they want. That's why they tend to change partners a lot.
@zhaosonghan (1039)
• China
15 Jul 08
We don't understand a person who i'm with,actually everyone have two characters in own's heart,there is one character that you see less.When you choose one person and with him/her you should not have any regrets.If i choose a person,i could accept all the defect that she has,I think so that and i do it so.
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
I agree with you on this. Even if things do not turn out well, you should never regret a decision you've made.
@pinks17 (2192)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
Hi rosedust82 Well at first I thought I won the lottery when my ex-husband and I got married. Way back in college...we were famous in campus bec. we are the sweetest couple and we look good...really good together (ehem ;p)..well honestly he is actually a good looking guy until now...oooopsss..beep beep to my present boyfriend.hehehe.When I got pregnant..I thought I was lucky to have him bec. he was a responsible student and a good provider but then again...as the saying goes..men show their best foot forward...or always best foot forward..so all are just superficial bec. he was just a "boyfriend" but when we got married everything changed.The worst thing you could imagine in the marriage well I experienced some of it.We've been boyfriend/girlfriend for 4 years but I thought that's it...that it's alright to get married coz we've known each other long.But I was wrong.Now we are already annulled...I am just glad that he has money to process it. Now I can say I am happy with my boyfriend and there's no perfect relationship...Right now my idea of a relationship is just to feel it while it's hot.Savor the moment we are together and hope that this will be the last relationship that I am going to have until I get old. ;p
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Hi sis. yeah. I've read about the ex-husband in several of your discussions and I'm happy for you since you have someone special in your life right now who you love and who obviously loves you as well. Yes, savor the moment... expect the worst and hope for the best.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
15 Jul 08
I've been married once, and that was more than enough. My marriage lasted almost 22 years. He was nothing at all like I thought he was before marriage. If we had lived together I don't think we would of married. But, I can't regret him because I have my wonderful son. As for my current partner - we've been together 8 years this month. We aren't married and don't plan to be. He would like to, but I refuse. Regrets? All the time. But our situation is rather unique. We both have health issues and neither of us has enough money to live apart. We are often more like friends and roomates than true partners - even though we sleep in the same bed. We do have fun together and we share cooking and cleaning etc. We also have similar interests as well. But, I've thought of ending the relationship many many times. But, with his health he is better with me to deal with some things. And with my health, I am better having him here to help me. So here we are. Stuck.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Hi tesswhite. Seems like a pretty difficult situation. Being stuck in a situation that you would like to get out of. I guess if it wasn't for the health issue, you would have ended it. Hmmm... Probably the best thing to do under the circumstances is to try to tough it out and make the most of the time you're together. Things might change in the future. Who knows?
@sweetsue (759)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
Getting hook up with someone is really a risk. Love,lust or affection whatever we may call it is indeed very tempting. Everybody needs attention and wants to be loved that is why people take the risk of getting involve. Lucky are the ones who ended up with someone they truly love and at the same time have their loves reciprocated. For the unlucky ones, i should say never stop trying. The right one will come when you ask for it.The Lord will give it at the right time.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Sep 08
Very true.
@n30wing (4771)
• Philippines
15 Jul 08
I know there is no such thing as a perfect girl, and relationship, happy with my relationship now then with my ex.Now a days it's really hard to choose someone who is real to you. Accepting you for what you are and for what your gonna be. Maybe it's the fast pace in life. I think everyone should start first with friendship getting to know who the person is first and should really take time. Now a days usually there's no courtship anymore just I like you is enough. I also think that their should be information of the sanctity of marriage. Their vows in front of God that they will be ashame of if it wont work out. Have a nice day! God bless!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Sep 08
I'm glad that you've found someone who is true to you. Yes. I'd have to agree with you on this. It really is hard to find someone who is right for you in all aspects.
@rbailey83 (1401)
• Canada
16 Jul 08
sometimes i have regrets about it, but not very often. i am not sure if i will marry her, or be with her forever but we get along. I am not totaly convinced that there is a right person to be with. I think the one thing that younger people have lost sight of is that a relationship takes work. You don't just get together and everything is great. Communication has to be there and both partners have to work together in order to make the relationship work.
1 person likes this
@vera5d (3958)
• United States
15 Jul 08
If I had any regrets, it would only be that we didn't meet each other sooner :) It is hard to say how you know who the right person is, since like you said many things might not be discovered until way later in the relationship...it never hurts to run a background check I guess :)
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jul 08
I have no regrets being with my boyfriend. I love him very much we accualy plan to get married in the future. We are very much in love.
1 person likes this
@karjyo (830)
• India
15 Jul 08
No, not at all.I have a very loving, caring and understanding husband. You can never have any regrets if you have such a wonderful person in your life.
1 person likes this