what would you do?
By jhl930
@jhl930 (3601)
United States
July 19, 2008 9:56pm CST
i have this friend and he has been with this girl for about five months and they are in love with each other...but the problem is they are both stubborn...he has changed somewhat to try and make her happy(not his ways but some of the things he was doing)and he is really good to her...but she refuses to change her ways to try and please him(he doesn't want her to change her personality but she always puts them last and he doesn't think thats right since he always puts them first)he is happy with her most of the time but then there are times that are coming more and more often that he isn't so happy with her..do you think that they should stay together and just try and work through it or do you think that they should stay together? before i end this discussion i think i should add that what i meant by the girl is that if someone ask her to do something she will go and do it for/with them and she wont break her word but when it comes to the guy that shes with she has told him before that they could spend a day together(he ask)and she has broken her promise before and she doesn't do that for him they hardly ever get a day together and its never alone when they do...
4 people like this
9 responses
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jul 08
jhl930 hi they both sound like they need to grow up a bit
first before they pair up or whatever you call living
together. Then maybe they might be able to meet each
other half way. when you really love someone you want to
make them really happy so right now maybe they are a little
too selfish yet to being committed to each other.
1 person likes this
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
20 Jul 08
I dont think it is not fair to the boy that she puts him last when he should be first . she seems to please everyone but him , and that is sad for the boy . I wonder if she has always been that way . If they love one another they should try and just talk , and he should let her know how he feels . It should be a two way street ,ya know
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
20 Jul 08
Perhaps if I was still in that phase wherein I was still courting that girl, I'd probably have the patience but, if we're already an item, and we both know that, we'd probably be open to each other and adjust the things that we use to do. We'd work out things so that we'd be happy with each other.
If I keep on making things comfortable for her and in turn, she doesn't even try to make my efforts worth it, I might as well not change and see if she'd realize something.. 
@Crimson888 (72)
• Singapore
20 Jul 08
For the guy, maybe if he was still trying to court the girl, he can tolerate all these but since they were already together, they should be giving and taking and not everytime the guy gives and they girl keep on taking..
If I am that guy, i will break up with this girl because it is quite obvious that the girl does not think that I am her Mr Right and that is why she never puts me in the first place of her heart and she can just break her promise as and when she likes...
1 person likes this
@blackmantra_x (2732)
• Philippines
20 Jul 08
good day.. they need to figure out what they want and how they'd handle it I mean having a relationship is a two way street, a give and take stance. They need to mature a bit and know where they heading to with their relationship. They need to try to work it out for them to stay happy being together. As for me I'm just going to listen to their problems and give them advice the best way I can.
1 person likes this
@aengra4 (363)
• India
20 Jul 08
in my opinion, you should act as the intermediary between the two. you have to do efforts to make their relationship longlasting. take them to a the restaurants often. this will bring them more closer. you must also say your other friends also to do the same as you.
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
20 Jul 08
When you are in a serious relationship than of course each other should come first. It someone asks you to do something and you already have plans with your honey you tell the person no. It will have to be another time. Or talk to your honey and see what he/she thinks about it. Always consult the other person. Also there should be times that just he and she should be together by themselves. They need that time together. It sounds like she is only interested in things that concern herself. She doesn't think about his feelings at all. I would be sitting down and having a serious conversation with her. Because the situation can not go on like this. It sounds like he is getting irritated about it and I wouldn't blame him if he is.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
20 Jul 08
In all honesty it sounds like this girl is losing her interest in your friend and the end of the relationship is near. Putting him last is not something she would do if she truly loved him. It's not a habit that she needs to change...it's about her priorities and he's not one of them anymore. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to read but it's how I see her behavior.
1 person likes this
@UNFKNBLVBLE (17)
• Australia
20 Jul 08
I think they should talk over it between themselves, the guy should explain his perspective of the situation and try to get her to understand his point of view. But he should also listen to her reasons. But basically, it's just a small bump in the road, and if they can't deal with something like this then they should break up. As there will probably be other problems that'll be harder to deal with in the future.
1 person likes this
