are you closer to your nanny/yaya/maid than your parents?
By zer0charly
@zer0charly (5614)
Philippines
July 21, 2008 11:37pm CST
when I am still at my mom's side, YES.
our maid is my companion, my friend..
way back then, she knows whenever I feel bad. she cheers me up, makes me laugh out of her one of a kind jokes and funny faces. she listen to me on how I feel with my family. she understands me and just tap me on my shoulder and always tells me that she's there for me to back me up..
and of course, if I do that to her also.. whenever she needs something, especially if she's facing a financial problem, she always turns to me to seek financial help. of course she always pay for what money she borrows from me..
we're like best friends, I always helped her to some of our household chores as our bonding moments..and I am closer to her than to my mom. since because we're facing lots of problems, my mom doesn't talk to me anymore.. yeah we'll talk, she'll talk if she wanted to brag about anything..
she felt bad right after I moved out and she really cried on the day I got back to house to get my clothes.. she told me that everything will be OK, and begging me to stay just for my siblings. but I just told her that, "I am at ease because I know that you'll be there for them. just take good care of my family.."
but a week after I moved out from our house, I got a news from my auntie that my mom fired her just for asking a 2 days leave. since no one would take care of my little siblings, a 2 days leave would be hard for my mom.
she's like a mom to us.. she's a trusted and kind person.. she took care of us like her own daughters and son. and it was so sad to know that she's not there anymore for my siblings. she served us for about 6 years.. I just don't know the real story and her side since I lost her cell number.
that's it..
how about you?.. are you closer than your nanny/maid? how do you treat them? are they still with you?have fun responding!
our maid is my companion, my friend..
way back then, she knows whenever I feel bad. she cheers me up, makes me laugh out of her one of a kind jokes and funny faces. she listen to me on how I feel with my family. she understands me and just tap me on my shoulder and always tells me that she's there for me to back me up..
and of course, if I do that to her also.. whenever she needs something, especially if she's facing a financial problem, she always turns to me to seek financial help. of course she always pay for what money she borrows from me..
we're like best friends, I always helped her to some of our household chores as our bonding moments..and I am closer to her than to my mom. since because we're facing lots of problems, my mom doesn't talk to me anymore.. yeah we'll talk, she'll talk if she wanted to brag about anything..
she felt bad right after I moved out and she really cried on the day I got back to house to get my clothes.. she told me that everything will be OK, and begging me to stay just for my siblings. but I just told her that, "I am at ease because I know that you'll be there for them. just take good care of my family.."
but a week after I moved out from our house, I got a news from my auntie that my mom fired her just for asking a 2 days leave. since no one would take care of my little siblings, a 2 days leave would be hard for my mom.
she's like a mom to us.. she's a trusted and kind person.. she took care of us like her own daughters and son. and it was so sad to know that she's not there anymore for my siblings. she served us for about 6 years.. I just don't know the real story and her side since I lost her cell number.
that's it..
how about you?.. are you closer than your nanny/maid? how do you treat them? are they still with you?have fun responding!3 people like this
17 responses
@SViswan (12051)
• India
24 Aug 08
I never had a nanny and neither did my mother have a maid to help her out when we were growing up. As we grew my sister and I shared in the household work...but that was more due to our father's insistence than our mother's. The only area which we never helpd out in was cooking...because our mother was very fussy and needed things just so.
Though I didn't really get along well with my mom (being a mom now, I can understand the frustrations of doing all the housework and taking care of the kids single handedly...and we my dad was a lot more helpful than my husband is), I'm glad she was the one who took care of us. It made me want to try and do the same and learnt to multitask. But I now feel that the kids need my time and I can't do it with all the housework I have to do.....I get too tired to spend quality time with them. So, I now have a maid and a cook...and I focus on my work outside the home and my kids. My mother never had this kind of time for me and really didn't have the time to understand me when I was younger. When the work was shared and she was ready to spend time with me, I didn't want to spend it with her because I was comfortable where I was. I don't want that happening to my kids...and so I don't have a nanny for them....instead I give them myself...and have someone to help with the household chores.
2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
26 Aug 08
Thank you...and I have to agree that taking care of kids is a tough job...so many aspects to look into....and even with a cook and maid, I find I have hardly enough time for both my kids. My younger one is too young to be proud of me...lol
But my older one definitely was and most of the teachers at his school do tell me that he has turned out the way he has because of me....but things have changed a lot in the last one year.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
26 Aug 08
wow, that is a tough job, but even though, you still manage to do it. I salute a mom like you. and I am sure that your kids were so proud to have you.
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
23 Jul 08
I was not raised with a nanny or a maid. We had to do all the work ourselves. Our mom made us do all the work while she sat on her butt and watched us. When we here 4 and we where standing on chairs doing dishes. If we broke something we got beaten, if the dishes where not clean we got beaten.
I am not close to my mom I am her care taker but I am not close to her.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
that is so sad..
I know how you feel for sometimes, my mom get mad at us and call us a jerk if we don't do things perfectly..
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
25 Jul 08
well, it's better to have your grandma than to have nothing at all.
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I am glad you had a nanny. We had our grandmother to love us. She did not live with us but we know when we saw here she was there for us.
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
Well, I'm glad that you have someone to be with you and help you cope up during the hardest times of your life. It just saddens me that you find a helping hand from water, not from blood. I for one, cannot bear the thought that other people would be more concerned with my life than my parents. It's not a good thought.
Well, I've had nannies before, I lived in a home with helpers, and I always treat them kindly since it's the only right way to treat other human beings right? My Mom has been super with them, she's never strict with the nannies and the helpers but they never came into the part of abusing her kindness, it would be a shame to do that to a very kind and understanding woman. So following my Mom's example, I always treat the helpers kindly, help them with the chores, watch TV with them, joke with them, even go in the malls with them. The truth is, the helpers are almost part of the family because we take care of them and vice versa.
I often think that movies about helpers being abused or treated unkindly is a fallacy because it ain't happening in my family, But well, I saw the maltreatment in other houses and I just hate to see that reality.
It's nice to know that there are still many of us who look and treat each other fair and equal. We are all but human beings. God bless and I hope you'll be happy with your family soon.
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
Gee! thanks for the "Best Response"... I didn't expect that :)
Anyways, I hate that reality as well, but I see them in the paper and the television and it's really sad. I just can't accept such crime to happen in families who treat their helpers well..
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
yeah, she is such a good person.. and treat us just like her daughter.
same here, we always go malling, shopping with her.. we even let her be with us to our town vacations..
but of course, not all maids were like ours.. there are some who are taking advantage of the kindness of their employer.. they sometimes rob in to their employers house with lots of accomplishes. and what's worst is that they would even kill their employers..
but of course, not all maids were like ours.. there are some who are taking advantage of the kindness of their employer.. they sometimes rob in to their employers house with lots of accomplishes. and what's worst is that they would even kill their employers..
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
All I heard about from my parents was that when we were not really conscious and not have developed any awareness for the things around us, some of their relatives took care of us but, for only short periods of time whenever they were around so having no memory of them at all simply implies that I'm not close to them even though they did took care of me when I was still small.
About that house help nanny that your mother employed for six years.. its really hard to comeby reliable people like that. Most stories that I hear would be that the incoming nanny really had criminal plans for the family that she got employed with. Either using extortion or doing an inside job for their accomplices when they finally decide to ransack the house of the employer.
Since we don't know the details, the two day leave would've been better to consider since she'd still come back after that but, now that she got fired...?
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
Grandparents.. I wish I knew ours better than what I only know of them now..
I agree with you.. have you heard of the news in our country that the maid kill her employer and the children their taking care of by poisoning their food.. and right after that rob at their house.. I really pity those family.. and of course, that made should be in hell!..
Killed the family.. robbed the house after.. and conservatives would really be disgusted with it more since the culprit was a woman. Even in crime, women are still looked at differently..
Your mom changed when you left and being vulnerable, she's easily manipulated by that antagonistic relative of yours.. Your previous house maid has the right to inquire for a sick leave and that should've been tolerable..
With that atmosphere at home, they'd be spending more time looking for a slave that can tolerate them than a reliable servant which can be loyal...
Man, six years and suddenly fired.. she's already part of the family count to think of it.
Heck, within those six years, you must've at least know some details to get in touch with her.. she's such a regrettable lost..
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
well, some says that she's already staying at their province.. I don't know.. no one knows, even my aunt who's her best friend doesn't know on where she is..
No one wanted to stay in that horrible house, even I don't want to. and they can't get maid just like the old one.
No one wanted to stay in that horrible house, even I don't want to. and they can't get maid just like the old one.1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
same here, when I was a kid, our lolas were the one whose taking care of us, since our parents were working.
I agree with you.. have you heard of the news in our country that the maid kill her employer and the children their taking care of by poisoning their food.. and right after that rob at their house.. I really pity those family.. and of course, that made should be in hell!..
if you've read my discussion about "the worst rumor I've heard about me".. I mentioned there my devilish aunt(Ella) who gossip about me..
she always manipulates my mom's decision..
my other aunt(Vanie) told me that Ella told my mom to threaten our maid by firing her so that our maid would rather not to have a 2 day leave. but aunt Vanie told me that the day after I moved away from our house, our maid got sick and tired of the situation on our house (because my devilish aunt was already staying there, since I am not there anymore.).. but since she's still holding on on what I've requested to her.. she's still there for my family.. and my mom changed right after I moved away, so our maid have decided to deserted them and and accept the fact the she fires her..
I got a news from my aunt vanie that my mom was looking for our maid because our new maid isn't that caring compared to the old one..
well, I don't think that our old maid will be back there because of their attitude and because of my devilish aunt.. I should be the one who'll come back, and kick their a$$ for doing that so!
if you've read my discussion about "the worst rumor I've heard about me".. I mentioned there my devilish aunt(Ella) who gossip about me..
she always manipulates my mom's decision..
my other aunt(Vanie) told me that Ella told my mom to threaten our maid by firing her so that our maid would rather not to have a 2 day leave. but aunt Vanie told me that the day after I moved away from our house, our maid got sick and tired of the situation on our house (because my devilish aunt was already staying there, since I am not there anymore.).. but since she's still holding on on what I've requested to her.. she's still there for my family.. and my mom changed right after I moved away, so our maid have decided to deserted them and and accept the fact the she fires her..
I got a news from my aunt vanie that my mom was looking for our maid because our new maid isn't that caring compared to the old one..
well, I don't think that our old maid will be back there because of their attitude and because of my devilish aunt.. I should be the one who'll come back, and kick their a$$ for doing that so!2 people like this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
22 Jul 08
I never have a maid since i was young, and so i'm closer to my parents naturally..
I guess u are not the only one to feel this way, alot of ple who has a maid since young, will feel closer to the maid instead of mom or dad, as they will spend more times together, playing and caring for the kids/children.. Time is just like a kind of bonding for them and thus, there are times when the child dun listen to the mum, but to the maid instead..
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
I agree with you. sometimes, nanny knows how you feel better than your parents. well, like what you've said, it is because of the quality time that they've spent with the children they're taken care of.
1 person likes this
@yellowhipon (793)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
I only had a nanny when I was 1-3 years old. My mom said I'm a tough kid to tend. I run around a lot and I'm always hungry. Haven't change much...
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
10 Sep 08
LOL. you must be really playful, that's why your mom hired nanny for you. I guess your mom can't take care of you alone.
1 person likes this
@yellowhipon (793)
• Philippines
10 Sep 08
she needed one coz my brother and sister just started schooling then. somebody has to look over me. :)
1 person likes this
@jammyt (2818)
• Philippines
24 Aug 08
I never had a nanny or a maid. I grew up with my mom, who was a plain housewife. I didn't really help her with the chores but we were together most of my younger years. We have our differences. Now that I have my own child, she has a nanny. It hurts not to be able to be with my child 24/7 unlike my mom but with the high cost of living now, most moms have to work to help their husbands augment the income.
What I do is that when I get home from work, I make sure I get my daughter from the nanny so that she feels that I am still there to take care of her and not the nanny all the time.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
26 Aug 08
yes. you are right. we are in a new generation now that girls should also work for the family, not just the guy. anyway, what you are doing is right. you shouldn't forget your responsibilities as a mom and give the best love that you can give..
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
10 Sep 08
Dear friend,
I am much closer to my parents as they were mostly with me and after than my grandmother may be mum of my mother. She used sing songs, tell stories, cook good foods, take me very much care and often used to kiss me, so on goes her qualities to me. I love so much, may my mum's younger sister too she also used take care of me very much. Actually I love my grandmother, but my parents are there always caring about me leading me the right path, finding good ways, faced problems and tolerating many things for me and giving me a smiling face so on goes my parents qualities too. Hence I love parents more than just as parents.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
10 Sep 08
wow. that's good to know that. well, I guess you wouldn't need nanny, for your parents are always there for you.
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
22 Jul 08
The idea of a maid raising my children is horrifying to me. My mom raised us and we're very close to her. I know your culture is different, but I don't think I could trusts someone to care for my children. I'm curious as to why mothers hire people like your auntie, could you explain that to me? I've always wondered!
I hope you auntie is alright! Can you track her down through friends or her relatives? Sounds as if your mom was jealous.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
she isn't my auntie. but she's the best friend of my aunt..
@insulin (2479)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
Well when I was 4 to 6 years old,I am close with my yaya then my parents but when my yaya decided to get married and left me then I get started to be close with my mom and then yeah until now I am close with my mom than my father.Since I was young,me and my father never been close together.:-0
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
10 Sep 08
well, it's good to know that you are closer with your mom.
@nice030481 (1109)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
i dont have nanny when i was small, only my grandma and my parents took care of me when i as young. but for now we hired nanny for my son, because my mother still working, me and my husband too, and also my father, so we have no choice but to hire a nanny, but my son which is 2 yrs of age still close to me than to his nanny maybe because i went home everyday at 5 or five thirty so we still have time to play and bonding.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
that's good. Mom should be more closer than any other person, after all you carry your child for about 9 months. so you deserve the closeness from your son.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
22 Jul 08
our maid is all around.. that is why she's one of a kind.
@aravinth545 (146)
• India
22 Jul 08
No, i am not. I am closer to parents than them. Maybe i am more closer to my grandparents than my parents.
