Can people drag you down?

@Ritz100 (1119)
Spain
July 30, 2008 3:43pm CST
I ask this because I have this tennant (used to be the boyfriend) who has such a negative attitude and makes such a lot of noise in my house, that I have a feeling he may be the cause of my inability to have a successful life. For example he will put on the TV and the first words out of his mouth are, its crap I've seen it before. He slams doors, bangs things down and generally makes unbearable noises. Ive tackled him about it but he gets angry and says thats just the way he is, then breaks wind with no care in the world. He also tends to crowd me and demands a lot of my attention. My question to you all is, can people like this have a negative effect on how you do in life? (Sorry probably badly put, but any thoughts would be appreciated.)
6 people like this
7 responses
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
30 Jul 08
Due to experience, I believe that yes, negativity drawn from others can drag you down. Negative people can bring a lot of stress to you. It sounds like you are having a little rough of a time there. I wish you luck. If I were you, I wouldn't put blame on him for causing you to have an inability to not have a successful life. It is up to you now to make your life into what you want it to be. Keep the faith.
3 people like this
@Ritz100 (1119)
• Spain
30 Jul 08
I know you are right, I have to take control of my own life. Cant be laying the blame elsewhere. Ive probably got so down, I've lost the will and the energy to do anything about it. Just talking here is beginning to empower me and wake up my thoughts. Thanks for responding, it has really helped.
3 people like this
• United States
30 Jul 08
I am glad that you feel enlightened or empowered. You can gain a lot of insight from My Lot's participants. I wish you luck!
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
30 Jul 08
I wanted to let you know that the comment previously mentioned about being enlightened and empowered was posted accidentally by me under my husband's avatar. He wasn't logged out at the time, however I still feel that I am glad you were encouraged by my response. Thank you, Bama Kelly
2 people like this
@klaudine (3652)
• Indonesia
30 Jul 08
Yeah I do. I am a kind of person who always get influenced by my surroundings. If people keeps giving me negative influence I will be a very negative person, like I am now. If you can get away from this kind of person, just go away as far as I can. Just keep him away from you.
3 people like this
@Ritz100 (1119)
• Spain
30 Jul 08
Thanks for that, I have a feeling you are right, I need to get rid of him really, but he hasnt got anywhere to go, so of course I feel sorry for him. Im an idiot really.
2 people like this
@klaudine (3652)
• Indonesia
30 Jul 08
no you're not an idiot. You are just too kind. But being too kind means you have to take care of another person's problem which has nothing to do with you. You are so good for feeling sorry for him, but does he have any thoughts of being thankful? At least he can start by not disturbing your life. good luck :)
3 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
30 Jul 08
hhhmm chances are though he KNOWS you wont kick him out if he plays the "whoa is me" card on you BECAUSE you are a kind person..Chances are he would manage just fine but much prefers to take advantage of you rather than get off his duff and get a life....take back the control and put your foot down
3 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
30 Jul 08
Of course ppl around you can have that negative affect....If you surround yourself with negative ppl and situatoins the residue from them will most certainly stick to you and mess up your life....The key is to basically protect yourself but NOT gettingn sucked into it....There will ALWAYS be negativity around us to one degree or another...whether or not we LET IT seep into our perosnal space and lives is completely up to us.... My question to you however is this...if he is your tenant...why not have him leave if its that stressful for you?
2 people like this
@Ritz100 (1119)
• Spain
30 Jul 08
Because I'm afraid of the repercussions, he's very violent and is totally unpredictable. I'm sort of stuck, don't have any family and most friends I had have pretty much deserted me. The ones I have cant face up to him. Thanks for the question though, I know I have to do something soon.
2 people like this
@klaudine (3652)
• Indonesia
30 Jul 08
did he do something to you? If he really is violent and he could harm you, that's just a better reason to kick him out of there. If you can't do it, call a pollice to do that for you. He should know that you have the guts to do that
3 people like this
@Ritz100 (1119)
• Spain
4 Aug 08
Thanks, I did, I have, the police removed him on Saturday and now I have my own life to get on with. Thank you for supporting me, it has really helped.
@ruby222 (4848)
30 Jul 08
Of course people can drag you down!!but thats only if you are prepared to let them.You dont have t put up with that kinfd of behaviour,its demeaning and its obviously having a very negative affect on you.If he chooses to behave in this way then ask him to leave,and get your self esteem back.He has no right to try to pull yuo down to his level,so come on and do someting about it now.
@Ritz100 (1119)
• Spain
4 Aug 08
I did it, I had to call the police in the end, but he has gone, thanks for your support.
1 person likes this
@ruby222 (4848)
5 Aug 08
Well done.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jul 08
You are very sweet to be concerned about him not having anywhere to go, but, for your own sake, you need to show him the door. He is an adult who needs to find his own direction in life-- away from you.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Jul 08
If you are concerned that he may react violently, have a police officer on hand. You may also wish to contact your local Domestic Violence group. They should be able to help you.
2 people like this
@Ritz100 (1119)
• Spain
30 Jul 08
Sound advice, if I lived in a country that spoke my language. I speak English and live in Spain, dealing with authorities is notoriously difficult for foreigners, Brits are treated a bit like low life here.
1 person likes this
@shorty08322 (1270)
• United States
30 Jul 08
if u let them they can but dnt do it
2 people like this
@Ritz100 (1119)
• Spain
4 Aug 08
I stopped him, I didnt let him, its done, hes gone. Thanks so much for supporting me.
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
31 Jul 08
Hi! Im sorry to hear about that but I think it is better that you're not with him anymore. Maybe he's just trying to act out that you two are not an item anymore? Thats just guessing and I apologize if Im wrong. Anyways, yeah I do think people drag us down as well as keep us up. I mean we are just social beings and that we act according to how people around us act. Its kinda like how friends became friends and thats because of a common thing. If theres something different about them then sooner or later the others will just pick it up and do them also. Maybe not as drastic or as exact as the one but its sort of a manifestation of what the others are. I guess you just have to resolve it by either asking him to move out because of his attitude and Im guessing other tenants are finding it annoying or something OR you can just ignore it and him and just move on to others things and focus on the good parts of life. Hope I made sense somehow. Goodluck!
2 people like this