If you adopted a child

@maximax8 (27053)
August 8, 2008 11:58am CST
I would love to adopt a little girl. It wouldn't matter if she didn't look like me, that is she could have any skin color. However adopting a child in my home country the social workers choose an age range and don't let people adopt a child that is from a different culture. There is much paperwork and testing done to a person before they can adopt a child. How easy is it to adopt a child where you live. Would you ever consider adopting a child?
9 people like this
17 responses
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
9 Aug 08
I have 2 grown up biological sons and 2 adopted daughters who are 13 and 9 years of old. Both my daughters are from different race and and have darker complexion. I adopted them when they were 1 year old. My daughters are more closer to me than my two boys and till now they do not know that they are adopted but I love them as much as I love my two boys. It is good that you decide to adopt a child, at least you give them the love and care which some are deprived of from their parents. It is not easy to adopt children here and till now I am still trying to get their birth certificate. But the registration department has given me a hard time to process these important documents.
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
It is excellent that you adopted your two daughters. I hope that you manage to get their birth certificates soon. It is wonderful that you are so close to them. A dark complexion is beautiful. It is a shame that it is not easy to adopt a child in your country. I am delighted to have people respond that have a successful adoption story like you, thanks.
• United States
16 Aug 08
If I were to adopt and I know somewhere down the line I would like to adopt. I would adopt a little girl. I love children, but I would love to have a daughter.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
11 Aug 08
Hi maximax8! I would love to adopt a child. I wouldn't even mind if it is a boy or a girl, whatever skin color it has. However, my husband does not approve at the moment for us to adopt a child. He says that we have many nieces and nephews and we can always care and love them as if they are our won children. But what i would really want is to have a child whom I can call my own even if he/she did not came out of my womb for I know he/she will be born in my heart. Sigh! Take care always..God Bless!
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10891)
• Canada
9 Aug 08
I am adopted myself, so I would certainly would consider adopting a child. I understand that there is a lot of paperwork involved, and quite some checking and rechecking sometimes turning the whole process into something that it shouldn't be, but it's worth in the end, I guess. Personally I don't see why it shouldn't be allowed to adopt a child from a different culture or race however, it makes little sense to me, if any. If needed a stipulation to involve the child in costumes and traditions from his/her own culture could be made, but that should even be optional. Oh well, nothing is really easy, is it?
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
It is wonderful to hear from you in my discussion and it is lovely that you are adopted and would consider adopting yourself. If I adopted a little girl from China she would probably love trips to China Town. I could take her traveling with me to Asia: to the Philippines, China, Japan, Thailand and Vietnam. She would have a much better life with me than in a Chinese orphanage. I know a Chinese lady and she has a son. Few things in life are easy hey.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10891)
• Canada
9 Aug 08
I had a wonderful family although my adoption was not exactly that conventional since I knew and associated with my biological family, at least when we were in Portugal. What I was talking about was exactly what you describe, giving the child a chance to learn about her/his culture and specific traditions and costumes. I don't see why people should restrict culture or race when screening for adoption. A child in need is a child in need no matter what the background is. But yes, nothing is ever that easy - and the people in charge make it even more complicated quite often Grrr :)
@penny64 (1106)
• Australia
9 Aug 08
I have never really looked into adoption here, but I know it is a difficult process. While I think some potentially wonderful parents miss out, on the other hand it is good that it is not all that easy. I think it's important that children are being protected - it's not always a nice world.
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
Yes, I know some people that would make excellent adoptive parents yet they are put off by the paperwork and the time scale. Yes, it is important that children are protected. A pregnancy lasts 9 months but the adoptive process can last two years.
1 person likes this
@penny64 (1106)
• Australia
9 Aug 08
It must be frustrating when there are children who need parents now. I think people who adopt and who foster children are wonderful. It gives a child a real family and hope for the future. It might seem strange to worry about culture when adopting a baby, but I know people who feel they have lost their culture because they were adopted, and have gone through life feeling like they don't really belong. I think it would have been worse for them not to have been adopted at all, but I can see their point of view too. Perhaps that's why they try not to mix cultures.
@vimaal (3365)
• India
9 Aug 08
hi friend, i have no idea about this. Because iam a child for my mother LOL.. iam not get married and not have child. take care have a nice day,
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
Hello my friend Vimaal, thanks for responding. When you grow older you might get married and think about having children. Take care and have a wonderful day.
• United States
9 Aug 08
I know somewhere in the future I would love to adopt a child, I too would not mind what race they were or the color of their skin. I don't know how the procedures go with adopting a child in TX myself, but if they like to match people of the same culture I wonder who they would match up with my husband and I. He's hispanic and I'm black. I wonder. Anyway, I know I would love to have a child of my own and adopt a child.
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
It is a wonderful idea to have a child of your own and adopt a child as well. Yes, I wonder how the authorities would match you and your husband. You might get a child that had a Mexican heritage or from a heritage from one of the Caribbean Islands. It is exciting to think about and I hope that it happens for you one day.
1 person likes this
@lixiaos77 (1023)
• Shijiazhuang, China
9 Aug 08
I never consider adopt a child because it is human's intuition to find his natural parents. My natural child is a part of me and I will give all I possess to him. I will do any thing for him never want repay from him. But I will not take adopted child as a part of me.
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
Yes, it is lovely to be able to have your own child naturally, however some people are infertile. I know of a lady that desperately wants to have a girl and she has had six boys trying to get one. She would like to adopt a girl to complete her family otherwise I wonder how many children she will have.
@dropofrain (1168)
• India
9 Aug 08
I would love to adopt children. I men this is such a nice thing. You help out a person who is deprived of the basic love which he deserves. In my country the society does not accept such things but still I would like to try and adopt a child during my lifetime.
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
I hope that you are are to adopt a child during your lifetime. I saw a newspaper article saying that some children need adopting in India and that the Indian government wants to speed up the adoption paperwork. China has rules about adoptive parents like age and how long the couple have been married. I think that a fifty year marriage did start and the couple in their second year of marriage might have made excellent adoptive parents even though they were 28 and 31 years old.
1 person likes this
• China
9 Aug 08
I have held the idea of adopting many children ,for my mother said most of the adopted children have high sense of responsibility .You can depend more on them than on your own biological child , she said
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
I know a Catholic couple and the lady was unable to get pregnant. They adopted two boys and a girl. The boys had terrible behavior and the girl was perfectly behaved. They spent a great deal on the two boys when they first got them but are spending less now.
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
9 Aug 08
You have to have a certain combination age to adopt an infant in Canada and lived a decent moral life before that, after that, you can only adopt a special needs child that could range from an infant who had to have an operation or twins that were premature, to a child who is mentally and physically handicapped. I think they believe that you will die before the infant grows up if you are past the certain combination age. That means that if you had a past - like worked as a contract killer, had an illegitimate child, slept with someone before marriage, you never got a newborn who resembled you. That was back in the seventies when we adopted our twin baby boys. I had an illegitimate baby I gave up for adoption - classified as a bad girl, so we did not get the newborn infant and in fact, they would not let us adopt a third baby after we adopted our boys. We have the same problem as you have in the UK. we have lots of Native children who should be adopted but only the Natives can adopt them or they are returned to parents who are unfit because of poverty and drinking a lot. This leaves lots of white couples who want children and cannot get any. It is hard to adopt here.
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
I think that the age factor is silly because with medical treatment I have heard of a lady in her sixties giving birth to a baby. Women can have a baby in their forties and men can father children until they are much older than that. Does the person or the couple have a home for the child? Would he, she or they be a loving parent or parents? I think those would be sensible questions. I think giving a baby up for adoption instead of aborting is excellent and should be looked upon highly. I think that a lady that can get pregnant can have as many children as she likes why not adoptive parents? You had twin boys and I think you should have been able to have a new born baby or child after that. A friend of mine has a girl aged 4 and twin girls aged 2. It is such a shame that adoption is so difficult to achieve. Pregnancy gets a new born baby so adoptive parents should be able to choose an age, have any gender and any race that they like. In the sixties I know a lady adopted a girl and she came from a teenage mother and a boy and he came from a business lady. Both are grown up now and are such lovely people. Children wait in orphanages rather than go straight away to a loving family. I think abortions take away people should be in the world. If they were born then adopted quickly into a new life the world would be a better place.
@aseretdd (13712)
• Philippines
9 Aug 08
It is the same process in my country... the social workers would even match the hair color and blood type of the child to be adopted and the adoptive parents... the process is also quite long... so a lot of childless couple resort to the black market or child buying... i have and uncle who actually bought a newborn... and the child is doing quite well...
@maximax8 (27053)
9 Aug 08
I think that social workers go overboard. Love and care are the things a child needs. I am not at all surprised that if people can buy a child if they do this, then the poor family gets money and the child hopefully gets loving parents. I am glad that your uncle bought a new born and has made the child happy so he or she is growing up well.
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
8 Aug 08
I wouldn't even know where to begin in adopting a child here in VA. I have casually asked my hubby whether he would be interested, since we have not been able to conceive (since having my son 6 years ago) and he wasn't interested. He said he didn't think he could give as much love to someone elses child like he would his own.
@maximax8 (27053)
8 Aug 08
I think that I would love an adopted child as much as my own children. I had one son thirteen years ago then another just over one year ago. I would dearly like to have a daughter. I am sorry that you have been unable to conceive again after having your son. I think that if adopting was easier more children that need a home would get one.
@kenzie45230 (3563)
• United States
8 Aug 08
My hubby and his ex adopted a child together and it was quite an ordeal. They got her as a newborn baby, but it wasn't until she was about 18 months old when the adoption went through. Her birth mother had to have time to change her mind if she wanted. There were background checks, of course. The home inspection was very thorough. Since she was a toddler by the time the home inspection was being done, they made sure there were locks on cabinets that might hold cleaning fluids. There had to be fire extinguishers in each room, working smoke detectors throughout the house and a working carbon monoxide detector as well. Their finances were analyzed, not only their income level, but also their past spending patterns. The authorities wanted to make sure they were able to take care of this child. Unfortunately, they didn't analyze the marriage very well. Within two years after the adoption was complete, the were divorced. And, in my opinion, a child who has been adopted goes through an even harder time than other children when there is a divorce.
@maximax8 (27053)
8 Aug 08
Thanks for your excellent detailing of the adoption procedure your hubby and his ex went through. If a lady gets pregnant and then has a baby there are no home inspections or interviews about money. I think the social workers treat adoptive parents in a very noisy way. It must have been nerve racking for them to have looked at past spending patterns. Most homes I know of have one or two smoke detectors and few of them have a carbon monoxide detector. I think that the authorities go overboard with all their requirements. Then the marriage only lasted another two years. In my home country social workers analyze the couple's relationship. Divorce is hard of children, yes even more so an adopted child.
• United States
30 Jul 10
My husband and I have been looking into adopting for quite some time now. It is a hard process. The first thing you need to do is reasearch. Find more than one adoption agency. Find out of you want to adopt an infant or an older child. In the US you can seek help from the church. Many times the church knows of a couple who is putting their child up for adoption. My husband was adopted at birth and that is how his adopted parents found him. He was adopted at birth. His brother was adopted because the doctor who delivered my husband new of a young lady who wanted to put her baby up for adoption. Here ther is a lot of paperwork as well and many interviews. I know it sounds like a difficult process, but I am sure in the end it is worth it. I know here it takes a lot of money to adopt a child. My husband and I are looking to see how much so we can start saving. We are also making a lot of home improvements so when it comes time to adopt we will pass the house inspection.
@caribe (2465)
• United States
12 Aug 08
I was never able to have any children but I always wanted to adopt a little girl. Because of all the paperwork and costs I never did. I still longed for a child but thought it was too late for me because of my age and medical issues. I moved with my husband to Nicaragua about three years ago where there are many children that need homes. The only problem is that it isn't easy to adopt children here, especially if you want to leave the country with them. We got the opportunity a few months ago to get a little two year old girl. She has been with us six months now and just turned three. She is a great joy to me but there are days I wonder if I can really do this. She came to us in bad health and probably would not have survived to adulthood. She is healthy now except that she seems to catch every cold or virus going around. I am happy that I can make a difference in her life.
@Jenaisle (3803)
• Philippines
11 Aug 08
Out here where I live, it is expensive to adopt a child. There are lots of paperwork too. If I didn't have children then I 'll most certainly adopt a child. Children bring joy to an adult's life. The adopting family shoul be stable so that the child's future is assured. Thanks for sharing.