Why shouldn't men cry?

@zandi458 (27952)
Malaysia
September 4, 2008 1:36pm CST
What really is wrong with crying? Why shouldn't men and women cry? It does a person a world of good to get something off his chest through crying. It is a way, and an effective way, of releasing inner disatisfactions, frustrations and pent up emotions. I was really touched when I saw my father at his hospital bed shedding tears when I came to see him before he passed away. Being a not an easy to handle old man with known strict disciplinarian he is, he cried for the first time like a baby boy. I wish I know what made him shed his tears but I was made to believe that tears are a sign of weakness in men. That's a lot of crap. I'd say, cry when you need to, only don't make it too much of a habit. It would then lose its value. You feel so much lighter within yourself after a cry. A man who can cry is a person with feelings, with sensitivity. He is a human being, not a conditioned hardened cold digit. I think crying doesn't detract from a man's masculinity. Men seldom cry but when you see them cry occasionally, it is with a heavy sense of guilt. I love to see my man cry, do you feel the same?
5 people like this
20 responses
• Indonesia
4 Sep 08
because hilary swank said that boys don't cry well, i don't think that men is not to cry. that's oke to cry when we need to. but, i find myself hardly get some experiences which need crying as a response. the last time i cry is when i watched forrest gump in theater. the story is so touching that everyone in the theater(men and women) cried. so, why i have to be an exception?
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 08
You are a very sentimental guy. Cry when you need to. The gals would love it?
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 08
You are a very sentimental guy. Cry when you need to. The gals would love it?
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 08
opps... sorry my computer just went blank. I thought the first response was not send.
@rina312 (296)
4 Sep 08
Hey zandi458, yea I don't think men should hold themselves when they want to cry. You are right when you say crying is not the sign of weakness in men. It shows that men have feelings, its sensitivity you would say. I would love to see my man cry, this means he is not telling me he is weak but he has got feelings and does not want to hide his emotions like most men will do.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 08
concealing emotions will make men susceptible to high BP and even stroke. crying will release tension. Men are only human so it is very natural to see men outpouring their grieves by shedding tears.
@ml4box (336)
• China
5 Sep 08
men's cry always affects more people than the female. They also endure more than women for lack of pressure-release way.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 08
I agree with you. Since men don't shed their tears easily compared to women. when they do cry it means they are really affected emotionally. so we are more ready to give them a bit of pampering when they are emotionally disturbed or sad seeing their red eyes.
@ClassyCat (1214)
• United States
5 Sep 08
I have to agree with all of you - - that there's nothing wrong with a man shedding tears. Society has taught a lot of things that just doesn't go for everyone. God created the ability for us to vent our grief and or heartache, so who cares what others think? It is jus plain old pride that keeps many from weeping, and where does anyone get the idea that men shouldn't cry? Better to cry than break out in violence, right?
@lilcee (2704)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I don't have any problem with men crying. I don't think it makes them any less a man. Men have feelings too and crying is a way to show that feeling. My husband cries at sad movies and I don't think that is bad at all. It shows he's very emotional which I love in him.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 08
We know our men better, physically he is tough but internally there is still a soft spot in him. I like this kind of man.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
6 Sep 08
I rarely saw my man cry. I would see a t4ear or 2 but that was it if he cried he went off by his self and did it. I know when his dad passed away I didnt see him cry bt I am sure he did by himself. For he really had to hold me when I broke down for me and father - in - law were really close and it was like losing my own dad. And there to he held me when my dad passed away but to this day I dont know that he cried all that much with either one of them . and HE was terrible when his mom passed. Not sure then if he cried or not for someone had to take him back to the house.
@dhalev78 (104)
• Philippines
5 Sep 08
you've got your point there and I definitely agree with you...
@yungcub (20)
• Jamaica
5 Sep 08
There are times when words and other actions don't cut the tension associated with certain emotions and the only viable option is to cry. u can think of crying as the pinnacle of emotional expression, no matter which part of the continium you are experiencing. Nothing is wrong with crying, just don't make it a habit.
5 Sep 08
No man should feel guilty for crying. Most boys are brought up to be brave and not cry, it is a social and cultural thing. I would not think less of a man if I saw him cry.
@naka75 (797)
• Singapore
5 Sep 08
I don't see anything wrong with crying because it's a basic human desire like eating and sleeping. If we don't cry when we have to, then I think we are not human beings. Even animals cry too. Crying help us to self-reflect and calm us, but then we should not use it as a means to evade the problem a person is facing, but to enable him/her to become stronger. It has nothing to do with masculinity or feminity. It's an acknowledge of the sadness or happiness that we encounter, and when we wipe away our tears, we can proudly proclaim, "Yes I'll fight on from this moment, nothing is going to stop me" or "I will do even better next time". On the contrary, if we bottle up our feelings, we cannot know what we should do next as our inner negativities like coldness, indifference took control over us, and ultimately we could become self-centred and arrogant. And arrogance means defeat, because we shut ourselves in our own world and regress while others are already moving forward.
@darshan36 (497)
• India
5 Sep 08
yes u are absolutely right. There is some difference between a men and a woman. Women are really soft hearted, so if something goes wrong, like family problems, bf matter, studies or anything that makes her sad, they tend to cry. Infact its the better option to get to normal. Men are little self obsessed that why should I cry, i am a man! But in reality even men cry. Even they suffer from problems. But if they cry in front of a woman, they feel shame and stop crying. The reason for this is that the men thinks that she will think that i am a very emotional person who knows only to cry but not to tackle the situation. So he gets scared wether he will loose his friend of gf. But its natural. When you cry u feel better than before.
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
5 Sep 08
Men dont cry because they feel it will make them less of a man. They have experience pain and frustration but they never show it through crying. I have asked my hubby about it too and he only answered me with another question...Would you want a crying man??? lol so i guess its just there nature to show there strength by not crying no matter how hard or painful the situation is. But not all men dont cry, when i was still in 2nd year college a guy who courted me cried in front of me when i refuse to accept his proposal to become his gf. So i guess its not really applicable to every men. Men by nature are not emotional, it is hard for them to show what they truly feel inside which is very opposite with women. Perhaps that is the same reason why everytime we hear our partner say i love you and say sweet words it makes our heart melt. It adds excitement and mystery to their personality when they seldom show there affection towards us.
@mikeysmom (2092)
• United States
5 Sep 08
i think crying is a normal human response to sadness or frustration. i never discouraged it in my son. my husband is of the school where men don't cry so we are at odds with each other there. i agree with you on all your points and you make good ones. crying is a great release. i do not like to cry in front of other people but do not feel embarrassed by it either.
• Philippines
5 Sep 08
It's just a thought that men don't cry coz they might as well be mistaken as gays. But mind you, real men do cry. Real men know there limitation, they know where to stand and a tear is an expression of the real feeling he keep hidden inside. It's an indication that he knows his weak points, and that he accepts that his views will be clearer after his eyes are wash away by tears.
• India
5 Sep 08
According to you by crying is release of emotions from the inner souland when the inner feelings of guilt are released in the shape of tears one feels released and become easy and lighter from the inner depression. Further only those can cry who have the sensitive feelings and of emotional nature. I think rather than to use the word crying the word weeping will be better adjusted. Some time man or man when the feel inner pain on any other's sorrows one weep and shed tears. I think Every body weep some time and on some issue supposing that you weep on an tragedic scene in a movie or reading a book also. How do you think my views please comment and have a nice day.
@biggerb (2028)
• India
5 Sep 08
I agree with men need to cry to get it out.If there is hurt and guilt nothing like crying which will make them feel better.Emotions are common both man and woman.if a woman cries at the drop of a hat no one really bothers but when a man cries you know it must be something really terrible.i would'nt at the same want them crying too often that's a bit sissy, is'it?
• United States
5 Sep 08
I've always said that it takes a complete true man to show sincere emotions.. guys can always say that they're men, and they my be by age, but until they can be vouched for or I see REAL and sincere emotions from them, they are not truly what is a man ~ just my opinion
• United States
5 Sep 08
I have no problem with anyone crying if they need to, it doesn't change how I feel about them. I have never seen it as a sign of weakness, if anything just the opposite. It shows a person's character and trust if they are willing to share their emotions. I don't love to see my hubby cry necessarily, but if he needs to he knows he can cry in front of me and I won't think less of him for it.
@rup011 (726)
• Germany
5 Sep 08
Tears are Gods gift to shed away sorrow. If you hold back tears your sorrow stays within you and its bad. But I believe that men should cry too. The male ego holds them back and does not let them shed tears. But its bad for the health. Crying is a natural thing and both men and women have a right to follow it. I myself do not like crying in front of others. But when I am alone I feel light after shedding few tears .
@joy4you (641)
• India
5 Sep 08
you've said it all, good one. I thought I was turning into a rock until I cried after many many years, almost forgot I could, felt good.
@kimi85 (92)
• Italy
5 Sep 08
sincerely do not know.I have cried often for love... I'm not ashamed to cry.but for many boys is a sign of weakness...