Stay at home moms or working mom ... who has it harder ?

Canada
September 8, 2008 7:56pm CST
I answered a discussion yesterday which got me to thinking what you all think about Stay at home moms and working moms . Who has it harder and why do you feel this way ? Or do you feel there is no difference between the two ? I am a stay at home mom but don't feel that because I don't go out and work every day that , that makes my job any easier . My job lasts me all day and all night , I don't get paid well money wise but do have lots of rewards with my job as I get to watch my children grow everyday , get to experience hugs and kisses all day and just take pleasue in what my children are doing but that doesn't mean that I sit down and do nothing all day . There is just as much running around to do when staying home with the children as if I were out in the workforce but for some reason when others learn I am a stay at home mom the assume that means I am too lazy to work or can't find a job . I respect all those working moms out there that work all day and come home to their children but I would like to know that I am respected as well . Are you a stay at home mom and how does this make you feel or are you a working mom and if so do you feel that you have it harder because of what you do , if so please explain reasons why ?
9 people like this
29 responses
@Feona1962 (7529)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Congratulations on being a Stay at home mom...I would have to say that your job is harder but much more rewarding in that you do get to stay home and be with your kids...When you are at home working you are also tending to the needs of your kids...So you are twice as busy as someone having a job outside of the house...Especially those with children..They don't have to stop and take them potty, fix meals, and be there for them if they cry...or be there for all the wonderful hugs... Those that say you do nothing either don't have a job or don't have kids.... Being able to work at home and be with your children is the best of both worlds... I respect you...You work hard....
5 people like this
• Canada
9 Sep 08
Thank you that was very kind of you to say . I do agree that I do have the best of both worlds because I get to enjoy my children more because I am with them everyday but realize this is not possible for everyone and respect those that go out and work everyday but find that others are often quick to judge when they hear you stay at home . Thank you for your response .
5 people like this
@Feona1962 (7529)
• United States
9 Sep 08
You're very welcome...It could be that others envy you...being able to stay at home with the kids...but they have to realize that you are working too!
4 people like this
• Canada
9 Sep 08
Well if they did envy me they sure don't seem like it when they critize me and make rude comments but who knows many you are right and that is why they are acting the way they do :) Thank you again :)
2 people like this
@villageanne (8579)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I have been both a stay at home mom and a working mom. Both are hard. Both are hard in different ways. When you are a stay at home mom, everybody thinks you have it easy. When you are a working mom - everyone thinks you do double the work. Honestly, I think it is harder to be a stay at home mom. But the rewards are greater too. Stay at home moms have more work to do because when you work away from other everyone pitches in because they think it is so hard on you.
5 people like this
• Canada
9 Sep 08
That makes a lot of sence when said like that . Thank you for your response .
4 people like this
• Canada
9 Sep 08
I think they both have it hard , being at home all day would be hard cause you get no break but working all day and coming home means you would be tired from working all day .
4 people like this
• Canada
9 Sep 08
Stay At Home mothers who have 10-15 children ranging in age between say, 25 and 3, really can't retire, because they will have atleast 30 years of childcare to do. I know that is a rather extreme case, but it's true. Stay-at-home mothers who only have a couple of children will see their nests empty when the children grow up, but they may still be housewives. Housewives and house husbands, if you will, never get to retire. now when both spouses share the childcare and the house care, no one person will be overworked, and they will both be able to work, if that is what they choose to do.
4 people like this
• Lubbock, Texas
9 Sep 08
Working Moms have to take their children to day care and trust someone else to look after them while they work. The day care workers often get to hear the first word, watch the first step etc. Parents are robbed of those joys. Working Moms work all day, pick the children up, come home get dinner on the table, or help get dinner on the table, and try to keep the house in order, then clean on their days off. Stay at home Moms go from morning til night. Taking care of their own children, possible arranging play dates so the children learn social skills, keeping the house, running the errands, and spend most of their time with children with very little interaction with adults. It can get to be an emotional drain, even though they get to see all the firsts and enjoy all the hugs and kisses, wild flower bouquets, and other little "presents" the children bring. Even though a stay at home Mom is home all day, so are the children. They're there cluttering and making messes as fast as Mom can clean. I think it's a pretty even trade off as to which one is harder, but having done both, I would prefer to be a stay at home Mom at least until children start school. If you prefer to be a stay at home Mom and you can afford to do so, I say kudos to you! It's wonderful when Mom has the choice!
@successlog (3172)
• China
9 Sep 08
hello my friend,For me, i think whatever saying at home moms or working moms, i all should sho my respect to them.Because firstly, as a mom,it is not a easy thing to care for their kids.even though they stay at home,but they also pay a lot of energy to their kids and housework and some other things.It is also a kind of tired thing for the at home moms. of course, if a momo one side work out of dorr, the other side care for their kids after work, it is more difficult. But I think you are also doing well,samtaylorskykierajen ,because you are earning extra money here on mylot or other make money online websit. I think you are just doing the thing you want.and you did it well.PLease no worries. you are a nice mom. Happy everyday. good luck
@deng6922 (16)
• Philippines
10 Sep 08
hello. well my wife works hard she do all the house work from cooking to laundry to watching over our kids our business the gym and her mini grocery she's super mom and I LOVE HER for that! happy Myloting!
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Sep 08
That is sweet !! Thank you for your resonse .
• United States
9 Sep 08
I am a stay at home mom, now looking to work since son is in school all day. However, i cant say that one has a harder time than the ohter. Both have their hard times, and both have their rewards. I look forward to working and being a contributor to our finances, which will then lessen the stress and make things far better for the whole family...but being home with him also has been a blessing so again, i see that noone has it harder than the toher, both are tough but rewarding.
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Sep 08
Thank you for your resonse .
• United States
9 Sep 08
Im a stay at home mom...I also have to agree with you i dont think my job is easier than a Mother thats working. I have a 9month old and a 2 yr old and its jsut a rough on me sometimes as it is on a mother that works. Only difference is i dont stand on my feet all day or sit behind a desk or in an office.i do all the same things a working mother would do i cook/clean and take care of my kids and im pretty happy with that. I get to do what a lot of working mothers didnt get to do and thats watching my kids grow little by little. I enjoy it.
• Canada
10 Sep 08
Thank you for your resonse .
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
9 Sep 08
i have done both and even though my kids are older, it is very hard to be a working parent. i found it hard when they were little when i was a sahm and now that i am not working, i find it easier at home (my daughters are 11 and 15 though!) but little ones underfoot is hard too - they are equally hard in my opinion
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Sep 08
Thank you for your resonse .
@magna86 (1787)
• India
9 Sep 08
well i think stay at home mothers are a bit difficult!!! or would i say both!!! coz i know two people who are in that category!! one is my mom and the other is my grand mom!!.. mom is working..at home as well as in office!! i bet you cannot find a mom like that who manages both office and home!!! that well! on the other hand my grand mom!! she does all the work at home... if she is off to some place i would find it hard to do all the jobs that she does!!
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@cbreeze (1209)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I really think it depends on the situation. While I don't think for one moment that being a stay at home mom means lazy sit at home, watch soaps and eat bon bons, I do think it comes with some extra perks that working moms don't have. You mentioned some of them. The extra hugs and kisses and just being there being hands on all the time in raising your children. I think the work is pretty much equal. I do think that working moms (especially single moms) have the added stress. I say that because they may not be the ones seeing the children off to school or welcoming them home. They aren't as accessible to their children as they want to be. I personally suffered separation anxiety of being away from my kids when I wanted to be with them.
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Sep 08
I would definitely agree that a single working mom would have it harder for the fact that she is trying to do the job of 2 people without recieving any of the perks . I admire all those out there who are able to do it because I can just imagine how hard that must be for them . Thank you for your response
• India
9 Sep 08
Stay at home mom is all the time busy and has lot of work to do at home. It is no matter that she is not going out for job or for earning money. Thinik of working mom at least she is getting money for the work done and the stay at home mom do not get any salary but she work day and night and her work never end. For the working mom duty hours are fixed but not for the stay at home mom. In the morning she has to make every thing for the partner before he goes , to make break fast for the children and by the time it finishes there is lunch time. There are so many other jobs for the the stay at home mom. How you see it.Please comment and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Sep 08
Thank you for your resonse .
@khatri_50 (225)
• India
9 Sep 08
working mom have harder time than the mom living at home . their only duty to look ater the home and their child but the working mom have to look at the duty at the work place . she has to be more disciplined than hose wife because she should punctual to her duty also .she cannot ignore her life as well as the the life of her kid . she is bounded in all works . she have to struggle the life to make her life smooth.she has to care for her husband and relatives also . only one benefit is that she become finacilly sound. on this way husband should co-perate her and give love and happiness to the kids being good father.
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Sep 08
For those that I am friends with I have found there day to be easier only for the reason that my day never ends . I have to take care of the children all day and the house with no pay and little respect for what I do . When my friends work for the day they come home to a clean house because they have a babysitter come in to watch their children and when they get home supper is already started , the house is tidied and the laundry has been started . No one does any of this for me and no matter how sick I am , I don't recieve a day off . For those who don't hire a babysitter the husband is more willing to help out with the chores around the house because his wife works as well yet because this is my job , my husband never helps out , when he gets off work he is someone else to look after as he is too tired to do anything else . I respect how you feel and thank you for your response .
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
I grew up with house helps because my mother was a very busy businesswoman. But i know she loves her kids so much and just wanted to give them the best. She never had it easy despite the fact that she was able to give us what we both wanted and needed. That's what she knew to be the best. Now i am a stay home mom of two small boys. I also have another mother figure, my aunt Vilma who has been a stay home mom of five. She was the one who helped me cope with the exhausting demands of motherhood. She once said that stay-at-home moms are the "highest unpaid workers" in the world. We have no salary, no bonuses, no leaves, and can even barely take even meal breaks or coffee breaks or toilet breaks. No weekend breaks too. I would say being here is the hardest and most difficult thing i have to do 24/7. My life revolves around my two kids, my schedule depends on their needs. You see, working mothers can take breaks during work. They have time to sit for a while and have coffee with colleagues. They can and have to take care of themselves, and how they look. They dress up to work, they have time to fix their hair, re-touch make-ups, etc. Eventually, they get used to it, and have more areas where to expel their stress. Stay home moms have it the hardest. But also have the most rewarding job in the world. We get to see our kids grow up, (i think) they'd grow up loving us more, we get to practice and improve our creativity in child rearing, everyday we exercise our intellects as we are challenged to meet their needs in learning, and we also expand our hearts, our patience and understanding as they demand more and more of our love and care. We also act as accountants in trying to stretch the household budget, as teachers, as nurses, as artists/entertainers, as counselors, as chauffeurs, chefs, dieticians, name it...Our children are the luckiest to have us. And we are the luckiest as well to be able to have and hold them everyday of our lives. As my aunt Vilma say, "stay at home moms are the best Managers and Lovers in the world."
• Canada
9 Sep 08
My setiments exaclty , very well said . Thank you for your response :)
@marisriel (1157)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
I would like to express that our feelings are practically the same. I have worked for more than six years in an office and i was promoted twice almost telling myself that I am meant for the outside career world. But a certain time came that I had to decide to stay at home and look at the kids. First, I felt that I am wasting those whole six years of working to the top. But after a short while, when I realized how my children adores me and my relationship with my husband had amazingly improved, all my anxieties were lost. Of course, there are those people who will not understand, and what hurts me most was that some of them are people who I thought would be wise enough to tell me that I chose the right thing. But they were the opposite. As of now, I just ignore them and keeps on telling myself that my kids are what matters to me and whatever I do, in the end, it's my family who will take advantage of every decision that I make.
• Canada
9 Sep 08
Very well said , thank you for your response :)
@rakittera (803)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
hi! i think just being a MOM is hard enough. Whether you're a Stay-at-home or a working mom, you're playing a big role in the lives of your children and you are a big part of your family. I'm a working mom and we recently moved out of my parents house. I now have just one household help and she takes care of my 9-month old daughter while we are at work. Since she's just assigned to take care of the baby, I do most of the household chores. Oftentimes, I feel soooo tired that I don't even have the strength to carry my baby. But once my baby calls out my name, I have no choice but to pick her up and hold her, no matter how tired I am at that moment. Knowing how hard it is to juggle household chores and taking care of my baby, I commend you for being a stay-at-home mom. While it is hard work we're doing at the workplace, stay-at-home moms have a bigger workplace to manage.
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Sep 08
Thank you for your response :)
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
I am a working mom but i also experience staying at home when i gave birth, as a working mom i would still chose to be a working mom than to be stay at home, first, my system is already set in this kind of work, i stay in the office, work hard than to stay at home, feeling tired for the whole day by cleaning the house cooking and taking care of the whole family and the worst thing there is i cant even have a time to comb my hair and i little insecure coz i was just wearing a simple clothes than when i go to the office. but still both are harder, it is the same thing, when i am at home i am working in the house and put everything in order also in the office when i am at the office, i work also the only thing there is in different field and different category. I salute those who are working to support the needs of her family and also i salute those woman who stay at home and work there for the whole day without any complains and trying to make everything ready the moment her husband arrive and taking care of their children and loving them unconditionally..
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Sep 08
Well said thank you for your response .
@myliezl0903 (2731)
• Philippines
9 Sep 08
hi there! i guess both is harder., either your a working mom or housewife., cause as a housewife you are incharge of everything like cleaning the whole house, washing the dishes, cooking foods evry meal, etc ... and if you are a working mom ., of course you can't do that because you are in the office the whole day.,but afterwards if you don't have any maid.,you are still the one in charge for all the house chores., and without any choice you need to do that ., for your family.,Ü it is both hard.,
• Canada
9 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@syankee525 (6296)
• United States
9 Oct 08
i would say a stay home mom, i was a stay home dad for awhile.. so i know..
1 person likes this