Junior Kindergarden Attendance

@Bytemi (1553)
United States
September 9, 2008 7:52am CST
I need an opinion from other parents. My ex-husand want to take our daughter out of school on Friday to attend a golf tournment with him and his family. She is in Junior Kindergarden and gets home and has assignments just like Kindergarden (she was one month too young to start Kindergarden this year). I don't really want to start the trend of letting her miss school when she is not sick, especially after she told me this morning that she could miss school whenever she wanted even if she was not sick. I am concerned that this is going to set a bad example. What are your thoughts?
3 people like this
14 responses
• United States
10 Sep 08
My friend...relax. As usual, this is just like most of her dad's opinions and ideas that are off-the-mark. Your job is to set the record straight for babygirl. It doesn't mean you're not doing your job as a fantastic mother or setting a bad example, so long as she understands that school IS important and missing whenever she wants is not an option. Let her enjoy being a kid and the thrill of missing a day of school to do something special with her Daddy. One day at this age isn't going to set her on path of truancy, don't worry!! :) ~Me~
3 people like this
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
9 Sep 08
My question is - Is your daughter really that interested in the golf tournament or just in the idea of getting out of school early? If it was later in the school year and it was something geared more for her than maybe you could let her out of school early (just for something really special for her). I wouldn't get into the habit of taking her out of school early because then she'll think for every little thing that comes up that she'll be getting out early. She needs to learn how important it is to be in school (even in kindergarten). Just my opinion though.
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
9 Sep 08
That is what I am saying. When I was in high school, my dad would come and pick me up out of the blue and take me to the arcade. I as a straight A student and I did not have tests on those days so he did not see a problem with it. I see a problem with this being her second week of school, which is already new and different to her and having her taken out of a routine, that isn't quite set yet.
1 person likes this
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Not to mention even if she does go then most likely she'll be wanting to get of school early again "because you let me before". Then you'll be dealing with her begging and whining when something else comes up. Guess who will have to deal with it? You - not your ex husband.
2 people like this
9 Sep 08
Does she see her father often? if she doesnt and wantyed to go to the golf tournament with him then I would allow her but explain to her and to your ex that it is a one of as she should be in school. I wouldnt encourage her to miss school if she wasnt sick but if she doesnt see her father often then I would allow it. I am not a parent but I knowhow difficult it can be living with parents that have split up. If you are really worried about her missing school, talk it over with your ex and explain how you feel. He might agree with you or not but I wouldnt say no just because she will miss school. She can make up the work that she will miss.
2 people like this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I am perfectly aware of what it is like to be from a split home and my ex sees here at least once a week on Wednesday and Thursday, when he doesn't cancel. We all eat dinner together. Her events we attend together. In her eyes we are all just one big happy family that live at separate addresses, that is the way it is suppose to be. Plus she has a PoPo (her step father).
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Sep 08
I really dont think is such a good idea then she will probably want to take a day off after ever special even that happens maybe a next time shell cry not to go for a TV show. If you still want her to go then you should make it clear its a once in a life time thing only.
2 people like this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I agree, definetly have to make it clear to here that this is not normal and she has to go to school and can not just stay home for no reason.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Sep 08
Although there may not be anything wrong with your husband taking your child from school for that purpose, children are very impressionable and tend to form their ideas on what we, as parents allow or do not allow. Everything that she learns NOW, I believe will carry over, somewhat into the future. Yes, she is very young and no, she is not being taken out of school on a regular basis for such things - HOWEVER.....she will keep school a PRIORITY in her life if she learns it early on. In our state, parents can go to jail for children being absent too many days without a legitimate excuse or reason. They will be called in for school conferences and if it isn't resolved through that, they will spend time behind bars. Some people don't make their kids go to school because it is simply too much trouble to get up and take them or other crazy reasons. I say that your husband needs to put more emphases on school -- especially in front of your child -- and let her know that fun things can be done when school is not in session. Just like Pre-K is intended to prepare a child for the educational responsibilities to come, it also helps us parents get into a routine and make efforts to make sure our kids go -- no matter what.
2 people like this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
9 Sep 08
Yes it definitely is an adjustment. I was off from work at last Wednesday and I wanted to keep her home with me, but being that it was her second day of school, I didn't think that would be a good thing. I got up early on my day off and dropped her off just like I always do. The only difference is that I picked her up as a car rider instead of making her go to after care. There are adjustments needed for everybody.
@jmhall (143)
• United States
9 Sep 08
I don't see the harm in letting her skip for a special occasion. I would just let her know just that. That this is not the norm and that it is a special occasion and that is why she is missing school. I think it is nice that your ex is wanting to spend time with her and if it where me I would hate to discourage this by not letting her go. I do not think that she will expect to miss school for no reason in the future or that she is going to miss out on anything at school if she is not there. But she could miss out if not spending time with her father. I think that is far more important than anything at this young stage of her life.
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
9 Sep 08
She sees her father every Wednesday and Thursday and every other weekend, when he does not cancel. I agree that spending time with him is important and I will not argue that. But if he wants to spend time with her why not use the time that he is already allowed. He has already cancelled seeing her tomorrow in preparation for Thursday. Her comment to me this morning tells me she thinks she can miss school whenever she wants. I just don't want to set a bad example.
1 person likes this
@rainmark (4306)
9 Sep 08
Well your husband can take her to the golf tournament during weekend so that she can't miss the school.It's not nice that in early age your daughter learned to miss or absent coz when she grow up she probably practice it, and always get absent at school, and besides her grades will be get lower when she not going to pass her assignment and she miss out the school activities. convience your husband and explain to him. happy posting!
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
9 Sep 08
That is what I am thinking. She is an impressionable little girl right now and the examples that we set for her now are the lessons that she going to go through life with.
1 person likes this
@sandra966 (269)
• Spain
9 Sep 08
I don't see the problem. It's only Junior Kindergarten not exactly an exam year. Why can't children have some fun any more? I remember being at Kindergarten dressing up, playing with tea cups in a wendy house, not having homework. It's only one day, if you think she will enjoy it why not?
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
9 Sep 08
But isn't it setting a bad example about the need for good attendance in school. Sure it is Junior Kindergarten right now, but what about in the 1st grade or second grade.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Sep 08
I believe that this does set a bad example. My daughter attends a daycare/preschool and even though she isnt in "real" school yet, we have made an effort to start instilling in her the sense of pride that comes from good attendance. Even in a junior kindergarten she may miss out on something that day, and fridays usually are days that they send most homework in my opinion. My parents pulled me out whenever they felt like it when I was in elementary school and it did two things: 1. it told me that it was ok to skip school when you want to do something fun, and 2. It messed my chances for perfect attendance awards up as well as messing up my grades from missing important information. This is a habit I still struggle with to this day. I attended college right after my daughter was born (she is 4 now) and skipped school to go hang out with my baby and friends with children. Now I am on academic suspension. I firmly believe this habit was influenced by what I was taught from an early age.
@Sean_Jean (269)
• Canada
10 Sep 08
I say let her go to her dads tournament. I mean shes only in Kindergarden..
2 people like this
• United States
9 Sep 08
Bytemi, I understand your concern BUT the chance to a special day with her dad & his family is probably more important to her development than a day in kindergarten. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your EX but if it's the kind where you are on good terms, you can explain to him how you feel about your daughter being committed to school & you are only going along with it this time because it's a special occassion. And remember.... one day you might want your EX to 'bend' a little so it's good to give a bit on the 'little' things. I say, let her go & let them have fun.
2 people like this
@Myrrdin (3601)
• Canada
9 Sep 08
I see no reason why this can't happen. As long as you discuss with your daughter that this is a special occasion and not the norm and that missing school is not something she can do whenever she wants that school is very important. School is very important, but so is spending good quality time with her dad and her dad's family.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
9 Sep 08
If its only a one time or very rare occasion type thing then I wouldnt see any harm in it...I use to let my kids have what we called "go to hell" days and they would gt to stay home and hang out with me (those days happened when their stress level was too high due to some really crappy things that were goin on back then) but even though they were given those "personal days" (much like an adult has at work really) they realize the importance none the less of attending school regularly....
2 people like this
• Canada
1 Nov 09
Parents need to be united on something like this, and your ex-husband is doing something wrong here. I personally think that junior kindergarten is a little too young to start school, but if one has already committed to it, they need to go along with the program, and do what is required.