How do you feel, when you are alone in a elevator……

@dpk262006 (56170)
Delhi, India
September 10, 2008 5:36am CST
It sometimes happens when I take my office lift or any other lift for going up, my co-passenger turns out to be a lone woman/girl. I have observed if a woman or girl is travelling alone with a man in an elevator, she becomes very self-conscious and uncomfortable. She appears restless to me. Though it may take few minutes to reach the destination, yet I observe, she feels restless in the company of a man. If you are woman, how do you feel if you are travelling in an elevator and your other co-passenger is a lone man/boy? Do you feel uncomfortable or restless, till you reach your destination? And if you are man, reading the discussion, do you notice the similar patterns in a woman/girl’s behavior, as I do? Please share your observations and experiences. Thanks in advance.
12 people like this
42 responses
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
20 Sep 08
Deepak I donot think I would be uncomfortable. I am pretty okay with things like that. But I do agree some girls and some boys they are like this not only when in a life but also elsewhere. But tell me, what would you have done if you are stuck with a woman??
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 08
I would make her feel secure and comfortable, if she gets stuck with me. My discussion was mainly based on my experiences in (my) offices and other offices, where the atmosphere remains pretty normal and secure. Sometimes, I find women getting unnessarily uncomfortable without any rhyme or reason. It is good that you maintain your cool, if you are alone with a man in a life.
• Canada
10 Sep 08
I hate elevators and will take the stairs if I can just because I feel claustrophobic in elevators and always worry that something will happen that I will get stuck in there . I am uncomfortable if I am alone in an elevator with a man and I am alone just because we have been taught that you can't trust anyone no matter how well dressed or how nice a person may seem . Thankfully this doesn't happen often because I take the stairs or have someone with me even if it is one of the children and even though they can't do anything to help should something happen , just having someone else I know with me , makes me feel more comfortable .
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 08
So your reply proves my observations. There may be many reasons (for a woman) to feel uncomfortable in the presence of a unknown man in a lift. I support your view to avoid such a situation, it is better to use the stairs. Interestingly, I've observed that even if I'm not looking at a woman and try to look the other way, she feels restless and and her gestures prove it, because she would not stand motionless for that particular duration. I observe, she is either touching her hair or dress to comfort her, though it takes few minutes to complete the journey. I started the discussion to know, how others feel in such a situation. Many thanks for joining us and sharing your invaluable views.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
10 Sep 08
Dpk, I've noticed this behaviour pattern a few times, and that is only when i've not been pre occupied with my own thoughts. I would distance myself conciously and look away from the person so that the feeling of discomfort with the person reduces. I've also seen men more than often create these feelings by looking at the women with eyes of hungry wolves, make certain gestures and remarks which make women feel uncomfortable and wanting to get out of that elevator. The discomfort of being in enclosed spaces also adds to it.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 08
Alok! You do a nice gesture by looking away from the woman.......!! I agree with you more or less that sometimes, you find certain silly characters in a lift, who keep on gazing a women (which they should not) making her feel more self-conscious. Interestingly, I've observed that even if I'm not looking at a woman and try to look the other way, she feels restless and and her gestures prove it, because she would not stand motionless for that particular duration. I observe, she is either touching her hair or dress to comfort her, though it takes few minutes to complete the journey. I started the discussion to know, how others feel in such a situation. Many thanks for joining us and sharing your views.
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
11 Sep 08
Hi dear i am male and not into using lift that often as our office is not in high rise building, but whenever i use the lift in hotel or some building, i did not notice or observe it, i think its pretty normal and routine thing now as now lifts are not that slow that it took ages to reach the destination, maximum 2-3 and during that u r busy at the changing numbers of floor and waiting for ur destination floor take care
1 person likes this
@marisriel (1157)
• Philippines
11 Sep 08
Because of the high crime rate on my country, I think I will be acting the same as the girl you have mentioned. I am really afraid nowadays to walk in a dark street alone the same as staying alone with a stranger especially a man inside an elevator. I guess I will be having a very fast heart beat on that moment as I always do when I ride a commuter jeepney here during night time when I can't get a cab. Watching movies makes me so afraid of people as I imagine things like what I watched can possibly happen to me. And of course the news stories that I read every time I have the time to read newspapers.
@ayessa (1586)
• Philippines
11 Sep 08
Honestly I don't feel comfortable when I was alone in an elevator and I even refuse to ride in when I found out that I will be alone in that one. I would rather choose to take the stairs than be alone inside an elevator. Though there are times that I can face my fear of riding alone the elevator.
1 person likes this
@jaygee96 (316)
• Philippines
11 Sep 08
I am happy as long as I have company in the elevator. Gender doesnt matter.I worry more if I am alone there. I am kinda paranoid when I am alone in the elevator especially at night.
1 person likes this
• India
10 Sep 08
Well I am not a woman dude but still I saw many Ladies feel uncomfortable too just like what you saw. But I would like to tell them all one thing, not all guys are bad and they don't do anything wrong in public. So I don't think you need to worry at all.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
10 Sep 08
H[i]I dpk, I haven't tried this but if ever I will be with a man and stranger to me in the elevator, I will be conscious too! But,I will try to manage a conversation to break the worries or consciousnes[/i]s!
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 08
So you agree that you become conscious, if travelling alone with a man.......LOL! If you start a conversation, it will definitely help you overcome your consciousness and fears (if any). Thanks for joining us and sharing your views.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Sep 08
I know I will be especially if the person maybe looks a little hard! lOL! But, as I have said, i will manage to talk and if he will not be talking, I will enjoy myself txting!
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 08
Good! Texting is another great idea!!!!!!!!!!111
@kezabelle (2985)
10 Sep 08
I cant say as I ever thought about it before, now though I think it might worry me thanks! I guess though you can fully say you are 100% safe anywhere anymore not even in your own home sad but true so while its best to be aware of any dangers i also think its best not to dwell on it too much or you could spend your whole life worrying for nothing.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 08
I agree that worrying too much is not good, but I would like you to share your thoughts in this particular situation, as I have mentioned in my discussion, would you feel uncomfortable in such a situation or will you let it go..........??
@kezabelle (2985)
10 Sep 08
Like I said I cant say as I have ever thought about it before, ive been in elevators alone with a man/men and ive never even thought I wasnt safe so I did give you my thoughts on that then the reasoning behind them. thanks
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 08
Thanks for the clarification.
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
16 Jan 09
hello deepak! This is a very interesting discussion. I never tried to be alone with a man on the elevator but if it will happen to me, it's really awkward. Scary is the right word too..hehehe. I know we women are overreacting about it especially for asian women but I guess it has been stereotype that the girl and boy shouldn't be alone together or elso something's might happen..
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
16 Jan 09
Hello Aisa! Thanks for liking the discussion. You have hit the nail on the head - that such is the mentality in the Asian country that two persons from opposite gender should not be along together at a place, anything might happen. So you will feel sacred in such a situation, I think is a quite a natural reaction. However, it is our apprehensions which compel us to think so, nothing bad should happen in lift, specially when it takes few minutes to reach the destination either way.
• United States
16 Jan 09
yes, you're right..but maybe it's what we asian ladie mentality..anyway, I have to correct my statement above. What I mean "other man" is the man who is not related to me. I have spent alone with my husband on the elevator many times..hehehe..
@mayka123 (10598)
• India
10 Sep 08
If I was with a man I think I would be a bit concious and nervous. In fact we women feel concious whenever we are alone with a strange man anywhere - be it a lift, a cab or a cabin. I think we feel that you men are too dangerous to be left alone with! You men are a terrifying species!
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 08
You have every reason to fear men........but all are not alike..........LOL! Thanks for sharing and joining us.
@mayka123 (10598)
• India
11 Sep 08
I dont fear all men. Just strangers. And all men who are not my friends are strangers.
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
10 Sep 08
I don't feel restless if there is someone in an elevator with me, I feel very happy because I am very scared to be alone in an elevator; so I am thankfull for anyone that will travel along as long as they aren't going to try and assault me, lol!
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 08
LOL! Quite interesting!! You believe in company, even if it is from opposite gender. Travelling alone in a lift could also be scary, I agree with you. Thanks for joining us and sharing.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 08
I entirely agree with you that we should get afraid, if a fellow from opposite gender is with us in the lift. Thanks for your invaluable thoughts.
@Jenaisle (3803)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
Not usually, unless the man looks like he's gonna be rude or mean..lol...It is a confined space and the woman is more or less helpless so she would feel uncomfortable. I've never been in that position, and if i've ever been it was with someone who I know are at least someone whose face I'm familiar with. If it was some suspicious character , then I would feel uncomfortable.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
14 Jan 09
So it shows that you are brave enough to face the strange and unknown persons in the lift.......LOL! Good on our part. Thanks for choosing to right on an old discussion of mine.
@Sreekala (22879)
• India
20 Sep 08
I will definitely feel uncomfortable. Our society is like that we can't trust anyone. We are reading in newspapers about the uncomfortable news daily so as a lady I have to take precaution. If I am alone I will try to avoid the lift. I won't mind to climb up the stairs. Once I did it, I walked upto the 4th floor. I don't know as a man you can understand our feelings.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 08
Taking precautions is alright. You never know about a stranger. But when you are alone with a man in a lift I think you need not unnecessarily show your restlessness, I have seen women becoming restless and may be a bit uncomfortable, (even in offices, where they go daily) though the time taken to reach the upper floors/lower floors remains very short. In my view most of the time their apprehensions are unfounded, specially if it is a known place and daily routine. Many thanks for joining us in the discussions and sharing your valuable views.
@SViswan (12072)
• India
18 Sep 08
It depends on where I am. If it is in the elevator of my apartment complex and it is a person I do not know....I am fine and not too worried. I just feel funny that there's nothing to talk about....sometimes, I do make the first move...say 'hello' and ask them where they live. But if it is in the elevator of a public place, I am quite wary and pray for the lift to reach the floor I need to get down at and also try to make sure that my son does not blurt out any information that the other person can use (my son does get over-friendly with strangers...especially when I am with him because he thinks it is safe then). It also depends on how the other person is looking at me and if it makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes, there are men who do not even think about it and don't even realize that he is travelling alone with a woman. I don't feel restless then.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
14 Jan 09
Thanks for sharing.
@kiran1978 (4137)
• Australia
10 Sep 08
Hello my friend, yes I often do feel self concious or restless if alone in an elevator with another male. I think the main reason i feel this way is I feel awkward as I feel like i should talk to that person. It feels uncomfortable having awkward silences. I also feel uncomfortable if I am alone with another woman in the elevator too for the same reason.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
11 Sep 08
So my guess was right, but please tell me the likely reasons for feeling afraid, with a fellow passenger........ Thanks for sharing and joining us. In your avatar, you are looking gorgeous and beautiful.
@chirantani (1382)
• India
10 Sep 08
I had a very bad experience some days back at the elevator in a hospital. There was a power cut and I had to spend 30 odd minutes stuck in it. There were supportive co passengers,who helped me a lot to cool down,as I was really scared..
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 08
Thanks for sharing. Would like you tell me - what went through you mind, when you spend 30 odd mintues in the lift, were you scared, were negative thoughts coming into your mind..........could you compose yourself?
• China
10 Sep 08
ya, absolutely right, i have hat feeling too. by the way i am a gilr, i don't know how and what to do, it is so embarrassedly. a few minute feel too long at that time, and when reach the destination, i will go as quickly as i can.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 08
It means you feel uneasy and uncomfortable in such a situation. One of the respondents tells that to avoid such a situation she uses stairs. Could you please elaborate, why do you feel uneasy in such situations?
• United States
14 Jan 09
This happen to me last night. I am male I'm 5'10 200 pounds and 42 years old. This young women and I entered the same lift. Being polite I allowed her to enter first. I was headed to the 7th floor ICU Ward of our Local Hospital to vist my brother. She was going to the third floor. I went to the rear of the compartment and stood quietly. She asked me what floor I was going too? I replied 7th floor Please. She stood her back to me at the front of the compartment near the controls. With my attention on my brother. I didnt notice how uncomfortable she was however it became very clear. The thing is I never glanced or said a word to her. Other than to say Hello 7th Floor Please.