Who has the right to discipline a child ...

Canada
September 16, 2008 9:36am CST
If you have company over and they bring there children with them and something goes wrong who has the right to discipline the disobedient child ? Is it you because it is your home or is the person who owns the child ? What if no one saw what happened and your child is telling you one thing and your friends child is saying another ? Do you go on what your child told you because you are sure they would not lie to you or do you weight the situation and decide what should be done ? What if your friends yells at your child in your home , does he or she have that right ? Where do you stand on discipline when there are other children involved but it is in your home ?
14 people like this
55 responses
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
who has a right to discipline? It is the parents... parents is the one who will discipline their child and that is their duty,if the child did something wrong at the other house without the knowledge of the parents, the owner of the house should tell it to the parents what happened then it is time to so the duty of the parents.. If i am in the situation that my friends yell at my son in front of me, i will feel bad... I will feel bad in the sense that my friend did not respect my right as a mother... if my son did something wrong she should let me know and i personally discipline my child and explaining to him that what he have done is wrong.. I will not intrude to any parents duty to discipline their child, i will honor their rights about it..
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
16 Sep 08
The parents hands down. It wouldn't do any good for a friend of mine to yell at my child or disipline him. I don't care if my child is in their home or my own. I should be told if something happened and take care of it. When kids have been in my home and acted up I just tell their parents. The most I would do is put them in a time out or talk to them. This is only with the kids parents permission. I've seen people who aren't parents yell at someone elses child, slap and kick them. If you didn't give birth to the child then you have no right to do or say anything. I have a son from a previous relationship and I don't even let my husband disipline him. He maybe his step father but it's my job to parent my son.
2 people like this
• Canada
17 Sep 08
I agree that NO ONE has the right to slap or hit someone else's child for any reason , if the problem is that big of a deal speak to the parents and if this doesn't resolve the problem then the child should not be welcome back in the house if this is how he/she is going to behave but no matter what no one has the right to harm a child !! Thank you for your response .
• Canada
16 Sep 08
If it is my house then I have the right to say something but i would wait to see if my friend was going to say something first and how bad what they kid was doing . If they hurt my kids then I would say something for sure . Lots of parents don't want to say anything and you have to say soemthing if you don't want them to destroy your house and if they don't liek it then they don't have to take there kids over when they come over .
2 people like this
• Canada
17 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
• United States
16 Sep 08
it's the parents responsibility, if they are in your home and there child is acting up, and they don't do anything about it then that's extremely rude, and you should say something to the parent, no the friend has no right to say anything to your child in your home while you are there. if you do not see them acting up then it's really not fair to discipline because it wasn't seen, you wouldn't discipline your child if you didn't see it. and if this behavior continues and the parent does nothing then don't invite them over anymore.
• Canada
16 Sep 08
Nicely said !! Thank you for your response .
• United States
17 Sep 08
you're welcome. and thank you
• Canada
18 Sep 08
As the parents we have the right to discipline our children but if I am at someone elses house and I speak to my children they do not always listen to me so i find it easier if my friend says something because it is her house and the kids will listen to her a lot better so I will say something but like it when my friends let my children know that this is not acceptable behavior in their house . If a child comes to my house and they are being bad I will wait for the parents to say something and then I will say something if they do not say anything but if they are hurting one of my children then i will say something because they should not be there to hurt my children . If i do not know what happened then i will gauge the situation . I know my children are not perfect but I knwo what they are capable of too and know what they would and would not do so if the other child is saying that my child did something that I know they would never do then I would believe my child but if I am uncertain then I will tell the children they all have to be nice to each other and ask them to try and get along . All children will fight at some point and it does not matter if it is my child or your child they are not going to be perfect all the time so you have to take each situation as it comes . I do not want anyone yelling at my child though they can say something but they do not have to yell at them for doing something wrong cause they are kids and may not have realized what they did was wrong but they can speak out about an incident .
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Well said thank you for your response .
@cher8558 (425)
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Hi friends, In my opinion, if the children were raised properly, nobody should have to discipline them in the first place. But I have three children of my own. If they do something wrong in someone else's house and I don't happen to catch it, I would expect the owner of the house to tell my child right from wrong. I also have never had a problem disciplining other peoples children in my home if they are misbehaving. My sisters and brothers appreciate this about me. Cheers, Cheryl
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@gtdonna (1740)
17 Sep 08
For me how I would handle this is, since the child is over with their parents and my child is telling me something and the other kid a totally different story, I would hold a conference...that is, I would inform the child parent that I would like to speak to them along with their child present and then I will ask both children to say what happen and we adults would then determine what scolding if any both children should get. As for my friend yelling at my child in my home, I think it all depends on what happen to warrant that. Honestly, I would rather the friend speak to me about what if anything my kid is doing wrong so that I can speak to me child. In this time and day with everyone "sue" happy, it pays ot be prudent in terms of actions taken in regards to kids whether they are yours or not.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
• United States
17 Sep 08
I don't think it should matter if the child is yours or not; if that child is doing something they shouldn't, you have a right to put a stop to it. If the child is someone elses and they don't like your involvement, you should tell them that they need to put a stop to their child's behavior and explain to them that they're putting their child in an untenable position. Brats, whether that brat is a child or an adult, are not welcomed in polite society.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@tessah (6638)
• United States
17 Sep 08
my house.. my rules. if the other parent disciplines, then i shall leave it be. but if the other parent fails to do anything, i will step up and do it myself. theres been a few very disrespectful children come into my home, with parents who do absolutely nothing.. who have then wound up crying and the parents furious with me never to return. but you will respect my home and thse who dwell within it, or you will not be welcome here. *nod* and you really worded that bit wrongly.. no one "OWNS" a child.. they arent commodities or property.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@tess1960 (2387)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Everyone obeys by my house rules, child or adult. If you won't discipline your child I will, usually a time-out in a corner. Parent should be given a chance to say something first but if not I will. If that parent doesn't like it they can leave, simple as that. My home, my rules! You bring your child in you better have told him or her the rules before hand, if not I won't hesitate to speak up. And yes I have slapped a child's hand that was reaching up to the stove, she cried I said why and parent took child from the kitchen, problem solved. (And that same child was my buddy the rest of the day.)
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@ShellyB (5245)
• United States
17 Sep 08
If the kid is destroying my property or messing with it I will say something to the kid to stop. (And I had an aunt who will let my 13 year cousin play with her phone/answer machine, this drove me bananas and her too but she will say nothing and my other aunt the mom even less) If it is just behavior that will cause no harm to me or mine then I let his/her parents say something or do nothing at all.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@iyah10 (4116)
• Kuwait
17 Sep 08
Do u know that I am also in the same way in the same situation with regards to my children that you have told in this discussion but I am worst of this because i travel for 10,000 miles away from home and it is my Mother who take good care of my children while I am here for my Mother is also a Single and I am the only person who take good care of her and then I bought a house in which I include my Mother and my 2 children which is 13 and 11 at this time then I try to help my brother to go for abroad and jut to let them save a money I let his family to stay in my house and there it start to have trouble and the worst of it is that it would be my children will be in trouble most of the time for they are the one who is bigger than there cousins when they will be playing and if there is something wrong happen with it would be my children fault, At first I talked to my Mother and then to my children that telling them that they are bigger than there uncle's children and that they still need a house to lived in for they cannot manage to buy of their own and then after 6 months when the same incident happen that the wife of my brother beat my Son I did not lapsed on it and then I decide to talked to mt brother on this situation and open it to him and my brother are the one who talked to his wife for I told my Brother I do not want someone would be upset on me but do not test my patience on you because i am trying everything to help and the only thing they can to do is to be good and not beat my own children in my own house.........
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
17 Sep 08
Hi samtaylorskykierajen, This is a very sensitive issue and one that has to be handled carefully. I would say that only the parent should discipline the child, unless the child is present in your house without the parent, even than I would suggest caution. Blessings.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
17 Sep 08
I think its the parent or whoever brought the childs job to discipline him/her. If they are doing something and the parent did not see I would just say we don't hit in this house or curse or we share in our home. Then the parent should say something if not I wouldn't invite those people over again. I don't think someone else has the right to yell at your child.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@gemini_rose (16194)
17 Sep 08
The parent is ultimately responsible for the discipline of their child in another persons house, but then when I go to my Mums if my children do something wrong then my Mum will ask them not to do it and I am perfectly fine with that. I do not mind other people telling my children in their house, but the discipline of them is down to me.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@Ina926 (172)
• United States
17 Sep 08
If a friend of mine comes over and her child is running around creating havoc in my home, she better be ready to say something. I am an understanding person and i have alot of patience when it comes to kids but, if things get too out of hand I will say something to my friend. I have always taught my kids that they need to respect other peoples homes and properties. When it comes to the kids fighting, I just seperate them until they are ready to get along. I will not have my friend yelling at my kid in my own home, especially if we didn't see what happened, I don't think she would appreciate it if I did it to her kid. When it comes to my neices and nephews, it's different, my brother and I have an understanding when it comes to the kids. He corrects my kids and I correct his kids whenever we have get togethers. We need to have some type of control when we hang out since there are 10 kids when our families come together. He has 4 kids and 2 step kids and I have 4 kids. Talk about a handful!
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Nicely said , thank you for your response .
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
17 Sep 08
i won't like spank them but i will put them in the concer.. everyone who comes here know i treat all the kids the same.. and if my kid tell me the other did that or this and they deni it then i will have the kids stay in my sight..
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@salonga (27762)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
It is always the parent who has the right to discipline the child. Don't fail to tell the parents of the child what their child has done so they'd know and it is up to them to do the necessary dicpline. If the misbehavior happens in your home without the presence of the parents,and it involves your own child and you did not see what really happens, it is safe to stand in the middle. Just give both of them the benefit of the doubt. Just tell them whoever is lying will be accountable to God because God afterall knows who is telling the truth and who is not. And then go on telling to both of them why you will not tolerate the thing committed. However if you see that the other child really committed a mishavior, I believe you have the right to tell the child that what he's done is not right. You can always confront him but in a very diplomatic manner. Not to the extent of yelling or beating because that would be too harsh. Of course you would not want your own child to suffer that humiliation from other people no matter how bad he is. Then do tell the parents as well of the whole thing.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
17 Sep 08
I think, the first right to discipline a disobedient child is of his or her parents. Sometimes, if the parents of that child are not intervening, then we may request them to discipline their child. But normally, it is better to not to take things in our hands to discipline a rogue child. Further, in case my child is telling one thing and the other child telling some thing else, then I'd decide my action (which normally would be either sending the child back to his or her home or sometimes going personally to their parents to tell their misdeeds) depending on the situation.
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
17 Sep 08
i still think that educating and disciplining a child is the parent's job no matter where it is... if i have a child, i prefer to discipline my child myself rather than letting somebody else to do it... if my child misbehaves in somebody's house, i will definitely say something before the owner of the house do anything... i won't just keep quiet and let it go like that because it is very inconsiderate and can be considered rude by the owner of the house... i will expect the same treatment when somebody comes into my house and bring their children... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Sep 08
Thank you for your response .