Do your children FIGHT? Or is it "Quiet on the homefront"?

@rocketj1 (6960)
United States
September 17, 2008 8:10am CST
My son and daughter went through a "rough patch" awhile back. About 1 year ago, I was very frustrated because they were constantly arguing. My son tends to be a teaser and my daughter tends to get frustrated easily. It was terrible. He would pick and pick at her and she would blow up screaming at him. They are 3 and 1/2 years apart in age (my son being older than my daughter). When they were younger, they were so sweet together. But that last year was something else! Now.........this morning, my daughter said to me "We get along now, mom! We never fight anymore and we ACTUALLY have fun together!" Imagine that! And it is true, I catch them laughing together all the time. Maybe it was something that they had to grow out of, in a way. They are both more mature (relatively speaking LOL) than they were. I hope they continue this "phase" at least for awhile. It's been rather peaceful around here. It makes me wonder if they will still get along as adults. What about your children (adult children included)? Do they get along? Have they always gotten along? Why do you think they do or do not?
4 people like this
18 responses
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
17 Sep 08
Hi rockrtj1, I think that most brothers and sisters fight while growing up, but at some ages it is worse than others. When they are older they will likely be very close. Have patience for a little while and things will work out fine. They really love each other but some kids find it difficult to admit it. Blessings.
2 people like this
@trixyteddy (1072)
• India
17 Sep 08
Hey don't worry about their fights. they will soon outgrow it and you'll feel terrible that it is so quiet. My sons used to fight a lot when very young, they still argue, but I find it quite healthy. I don't interfere. If I do, they'll pounce on me for some reason or the other. they normally land up saying I am taking sides. So its better to stay off rather than take sides.
2 people like this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
17 Sep 08
I think boys have a natural tendancy to fight it out a little more. It's all that "male competition" stuff. Thanks:)
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
17 Sep 08
There seems to be something about boys or brothers that makes them love to tease sisters. I have 2 of each and the oldest boy loved to tease the girls. They love to get things stirred up when they are about 13 to 16. If the girls wouldn't react then there isn't any fun. I never did get the girls to not react so I think they loved to be teased so they could holler. They are all grown up now with kids of their own. I have 2 granddaughter that the younger one love to agitate the oder one so it's not always just boys.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
17 Sep 08
My daughter is rather quiet while my son is very noisy all the time. I think he really enjoyed making her literally scream! I tried to tell her to ignore it at that time but she would have nothing to do with that. You are right that it was the reaction he was looking for. Thankfully things have vastly improved although I know that we could hit another "stage" anytime soon. Thanks:)
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes there is always another stage to look forward to.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
18 Sep 08
woo hooo!:)
• United States
18 Sep 08
my boys are 1 and 3, so they don't really "fight" yet. probably because the little one can't talk yet! lol but they definitaly do their share of egging eachother on in their own little ways- sometimes it is really irritating and other times i just want to laugh. mainly it's over something like sharing, or my older son grabs a toy from his brother- you know, stuff like that. i really do have a feeling that they will be close, but i am sure they will have their moments just like everyone! i am just not looking forward to the tattling!
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
19 Sep 08
I'm assuming that those are your adorable boys on your avatar! Thank you for your comments:)
• Malaysia
18 Sep 08
hi there.. i have three growing up kids. One is 7 yrs old, second is 5 yrs old and last but not least is 2.5 yrs old. When they are good to each other, they can just play together and me and hubby is at peace to do whatever we want to. But then when something got heated up, they will start to fight. There will come shouting, chasing after each other, banging each other with their toys, jumping up and down and drives me and hubby crazy. Then, all of a sudden, they are good again, playing lovey dovey like nothing ever happened.
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Kids are just enough drama to keep you on your toes! Thanks:)
@Pikelet (79)
18 Sep 08
Argghhh kids lol no mine were ok really,the younger two always seemed to get along ok,they had the occasional fight but it wasnt anything too drastic.The oder two well a completely different storyline there,they fought like cat and dog,never a day went by without them having a good old scrap,and it used to get on my ex husbands nerves too
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
18 Sep 08
It just must be a personality thing. Some kids just clash. Thanks:)
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I think its a normal part of their maturity. My son is 15, my daughter is 13 and I experience a lot of what you do. Sometimes he just loves to tease her and she gets so mad. I've told her to ignore it and he'll stop and I tell him that after a couple of times its not funny anymore. I usually end up punishing both of them and then they huddle together comiserate as to their fate and end up doing something together. I'm sure everything will work out fine for all of them. It does take a toll on your gray hair though!
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Thanks! Actually I was going to touch up a few gray hairs with highlights today!:)
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
18 Sep 08
I can recall my childhood years, where my brother and I used to fight a lot. Whatever my brother had, I had to have the exactly same thing and it was vice versa. However we were united when we went out. It was not the first time that my brother wsa involved in a small fight and I had to step in to get him out of trouble. Thats what big brothers are supposed to be for.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Yes, that's what big brothers are for! I have seen my son stick up for his sister when they are playing with friends. I'm sure they really love each other:) Thank you!
@azrinbme (129)
• Malaysia
18 Sep 08
I have 3 boys with 1 year different each. They always fight each other sometimes for small things happen between them but not for long.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Well, I'm glad it's not for long. Thank you for posting:)
• China
18 Sep 08
you don't have to worry about it. it's said, children in one family like to fight, quarrel when they are very young. because their thought is not mature, they are too young, they can't understand somthing that happened in one family. but when they grow up, they will recognise that they are the most important person for each other, they were born by the same mother, they have the same blood. so they will respect and help each other when you are adult. i have the same experience. my younger brother and i always frighted when we were young. that's terriable. my moether and father could stop us. but when i went into the university, i never quarreled with him, he also treated me very well tll now. we will be friendly to each other froever because we are brother and sister. we have the common blood flowing.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
18 Sep 08
That's the nice thing about growing up! Thank you:)
@salonga (27963)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
I have a very peaceful homefront simply because I have just one child. He does not have anyone to fight with. All attention are his, all the love and care are his! When he was just a kid, he would quietly play with his toys and would be so happy already. Me and his Dad were his playmates. Now that he has grown up to be a man.. all the more that the homefront became very quiet and peaceful but never sad because love is always in the air. We always have a sweet fellowship. Yes,there were some few times when there would be some disagreement which is normal in a family but those are easily fixed and not enough to break the harmoneous relationship within. Lately additional member came in... not permanent members but occassional ones. They are my grandchildren by my niece. They are identical twins who are going three years old. Oh there is a riot at home when they are around. Very playful and joyful kids they are. They'd play around as if there would be no tomorrow. They would quarell over one toy and then one would cry and the other would keep quiet.. then I'd see them kissing and telling each other..."sorry"! Sometimes, one would say "Mama Li, Andrei gets my toy, he is bad, then the other would respond " No, I'm not bad, Jesus said I am good!" Ha!ha~!ha! See! how the once peaceful homefront has been broken.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Oh, that must be so fun to have twins around now!:) Twins can have such a bond with one another, even at an early age. Thanks:)
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
My kids are like fighting like hell, too. And are still until now because they are still young. Hopefully, they, too become close and gets along well as they grow. I want a peaceful and harmonious relationship.
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I'm all about the peace and quiet thing too! Thanks:)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Honestly I couldn't have asked for better kids, i mean they have there moments but all in all they get along just fine, they play with each other my oldest daughter shares with her sister and just teaches her things that she knows. I hope that it just continues on even when they get older
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
17 Sep 08
I certainly see this as a stage they went through. As the next poster says, boys go thru a teasing stage with sisters. When it was bad, my son was 13 and his sister was 9. That was last year and they now get along really well again. Good old puberty can be rough on kids:) Thanks!
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
17 Sep 08
My daughters are 6 years apart and for the most part they get along quite well. My oldest is more like a mom to the other one sometimes and she loves to spoil her. I do have days that it seems as though they argue a lot but I think that is all siblings. I am sure that my girls will always get along and will always be close.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
17 Sep 08
That would be great! Thanks:)
@gemini_rose (16193)
17 Sep 08
I think that mine are actually pretty close, well sometimes anyway. I have four kids, one is 16 one 8 one 6 and one 2. The 8 and 6 year old are very close and always have been, unless the 16 year old is about and then he divides them and turns them on each other. In fact he does it with all of them and so when he is about it is an absolute nightmare, when it is just the youngest three then 9 times out of ten they all get along absolutely great. Just the odd fall outs here and there. But the 8 and the 6 year old always do things together all the time. I am hoping that they will stay like this as they get older.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Yes, I hope my kids can stay close too. My sister-in-law has basically alienated my brother from our family and I miss him so much! We're only 1 1/2 years apart and were very close as kids. Although we went through a rough patch when we were 11 and 12. My mom says she didn't dare to leave us in the room together for fear we'd kill each other. But I mostly remember laughing so much with him. Sigh.... Thanks!
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
17 Sep 08
my sons are grown. yea!!!!!!! besides that there was 20 years difference in them so the oldest went in the navy right before the younest was born.i'm sure they would have fault if they had been around each other growing up. as it turned out they are both spoiled brats.lol. my sister & i use to fight but woe to someone if they crossedone of us. it will settle down for yours & they will be best friends one of these days. hang in there!!
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Thanks for the encouraging words. Things are so much better now and I'm so happy to hear them laughing together again. Every once in a while one of them will actually ask the other,"Can I have a Hug!" Can you believe it? Thanks again:)
@Humbug25 (12551)
17 Sep 08
Hello rockerj1 I have three boys aged 3, 5 and 7 and they have their ups and downs. They play fight alot which usually leads to one of them getting hurt. They push and shove each other but on the whole they get on alright. At the moment they are all sat infront of the tv in the living room and one of them is playing on the GameCube and the other two are watching. I dare say that it will only last for about 0 minutes when the controller exchanges hands and then the other 2 will start to play fight again!
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Wooo! Three boys! That's an interesting dynamic all its own!:) Thanks!
@eden32 (3976)
• United States
17 Sep 08
I feel really blessed that all of my children get along great. My kids are pretty far apart in age, son 19, daughter 15, son 6 and daughter 10 months. I think that helps keep bickering to a minimum. But I also like to think it's in part because I fostered their friendships with each other instead of inviting competition. My two oldest are very close. When my second child was born, I made sure to let the oldest feel include in caring for his sister without ever making it seem like a chore. He's always been very protective with her & loved being able to teach her things as she was growing up. I very much hope the two little ones have that same sort of specialness in their relationship.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
17 Sep 08
Oh, it's definitely turning around here! It is so good to know that I can leave them in the same room together again without having to break it up all the time! Thanks:)
1 person likes this