Bring out the worst in each other

Not really . I know it takes alot of work from both to make it. maybe they should set down and really talk of what it is that makes them mad at each other ! good luck to them!

Have they ever thought of going to marriage counseling? I'm not in a relationship like that nor do I know any couples who are like that. When it comes to my marriage, most people don't like my husband to start with as he is a very demanding person. For some reason, I fell in love with him though. I married him against my mom's advice. She told me that he is a lot like my dad...and she's right. We argue almost on a daily basis, mainly because I'm tired of being ordered around and treated like a child. Anyhow....I hope your friends can work it out. Do they have children?

Yes, that can happen. When my boyfriend and I are apart, we are completely different people. When we are together, we a shy and we both tend to act like idiots at times. I tend to be the biggest idiot in the relationship. The reason that they might bring out the worst in one another is because they might be too alike or too different.

Sometimes people become this way because they end up passing a point of no return as far as they are concerned and stubborness kicks in. They actually tend to forget what the arguments are even about and become all consumed in their anger and frustration rather than act and think clearly. Negativity can become like a cancer and will eat away at you as this situation proves. Until such time as one person surrenders in order to actually win this situation will unfortunately never end.

Some people just seem to need the constant stimulation of an argument. Personally I don't understand it, but we see many relationships that work this way. Do they express individually that they are happy together, whatever that might mean to them, or do they say they regreet having married? I prefer not to be in the company of people who constantly bicker, but some people consider that a way of life. Perhaps a worse problem would be if one half of the couple were agressively argumentative while the other half sat there taking it in silence. At least they seem balanced in this regard, but one would think they would have the civility to act a bit more appropriately as guests in someone else's home.

That's not uncommon. I have seen many relationships like that. They just stay together for the sake of it. I don't understand why they can't just walk out. I doubt there's still some chemistry between them which others fail to see. I guess the best thing is to end the relationship asap.

I am not in a relationship at the time, and I don't know anyone like this. I am guessing they are too much alike to be together. Having things in common are good when you are in a relationship, but having too many similarities can cause people to bump heads. I don't know what you should tell them. I wouldn't tell them not to be together, but it does seem like being together for them is toxic.

Honestly speaking... yes... i am in the same situation... my husband and i bring out the worst in our personalities... and i think i know why... since we can only be out true selves when we are together... like the things we cannot say to others and act infront of others... we do those when we are together... So most of the time... we fight... But now that he is working abroad... it is like the distance is doing our relationship a lot of good... Maybe that is what your friends should do... it is not that they do not love each other anymore... but just that they are too comfortable with each other... and we all know that too much of something is bad...

Yes. My parents. It's hard as hell to watch them argue over the littlest of things and yet they say they love each other but they hurt one another so badly with their actions or words. I've had to get in the middle of them and scream STOP IT!! Stop it both of you!! and tell them to look at one another and see what they're doing to each other and I'd tell them that this isn't love!! If it's love then I want no part of it!! It shakes them up a little bit at first and then they go right back to it later on be it days or an hour later. They've been married now for 54 years and still going pretty strong but the arguements.... sheesh!!

I'm sorry to hear about this. :-((( I find that one of the toughest things in a relationship is when both partners are SO defensive already even before they hear each other out. How can you solve problems that way? But then again over the years you begin to know more each other's "patterns" and that what makes both of them become defensive, because they can guess already what the other one is going to say or react or accuse them. It's very important for them to take down their defenses and really try to listen to each other...without accusing the other one of anything...just sharing feelings and thoughts...and finding a way to solve them. If they can't do it on their own, then they do need the help of a counselor.

Perhaps they both like to argue very much like me. I know many other couples who always seem to be quarelling, but in the end fight together if some one says so.

Have some people like that way but at least they stay for 8 long years friend because if I were be in there position I guess I run away already after knowing that we could not stay together and it is really questionable on how to people have to fight of something....especially when the other person is dominating.

Hi SViswan, I don't think I know someone in a same situation! My husband and I are always comunicating to each other except when his watching TV or movie I think you know what I meant here, lol. We always try to fix or talk about our problem before we go to sleep. I hope that your friend will find a way to resolve their problem.

you are a good friend of them which is nice and they seem to be good people as far as you know, only when with each other then they become beastly, strange but considering that they have lived with each other for 8years they probably know each other more than you do know them(dont take it wrongly), once people marry and move in together that is when they know each other properly and learn each other the guard is let down and the two are comfortable with the others company,then they get to see the other's true self, but probably for your friends its a matter off communicating.

I have seen people getting at each other’s throats but not two exactly identical people. Maybe it’s the thing of ‘same signs repel’ syndrome. My relation is of the opposites in many way, yet we are so very similar in so many ways, that sometimes its quite scary to me. Anyway, God’s blessings and I wish the same for all relations.

The only couple O know like that was from one of my t.v. shows. It seemed like they love to argue.I guess as long as they are happy, it is okay.

In brief it clearly seems to me a clash of 'ego' and the battle of confirming who is 'superior'. When 'ego' comes into a relationship, the beast part comes out. Each of the partner wishes to prove that he/she is 'superior' to the other one. Neither of the two settles for it and the problem start arising. Your friends both must be very nice persons but they fail in the area of 'adjustment', in my opinion. They perhaps do not consider it deeply that in a relationship 'we should 'accept' the other person, as he/she actually is and should not try to change her/him till he/she herself/himself willing to go for a change. I have a friend who has very soar relations with his wife. His wife is a earning and she is well educated. But the relations gets soar between them due to 'ego' clash. My friend (otherwise a great fellow) does not bow his head in front of his wife for demanding anything from money to 'making love' and she does not bend herself saying - 'You should ask for it, what you want from me'. All my efforts to make my friend understand the idea of keeping aside his 'ego' have not yielded any results.

i think i know someone in a similar situation.. seems like she cant be around her husband... .. you can really feel the tension between them, the wife normally avoids to have any conversation with the hubby - just to avoid 'confrontations'.. i asked her why... she said she doesnt really hate her husband... but he makes her feel uncomfortatable.. suffocated... he only focuses on whatever bad thing, mistakes.. negative side.. as though she doesnt have anything good to offer him anymore.. she said she got fed-up with 'being the target' all the time.. she started doing the same to the husband also... also pointing out the negative things about him.... i guess it will never end if you only find faults with each other... it is just sad...

Tooo much of expectation less of temprament Mind set they have developed Might be hurdle for that as both have same goal but differnt approach to get it( i assume from this post) and it seems no one is eager to listen/agree other opinion Take care

I think the reason this is happening to them is they are just way too similar. It can be a problem having 2 people living under the one roof that are very similar, because it means neither is able to back down from a squabble, and then a new one starts. Catch 22. My partner and I are very similar too, but we are just different enough to be able to actually share our lives. It also helps that he is teaching me much about the world of computers too, so him sharing his passion with me means that he feels as though I am actually interested in his life. He is interested in my hobbies too, and is in the process of nagging me to get more of my cross stitch up on the wall.