Courting - the Filipino way

Philippines
September 23, 2008 2:05am CST
Our country is known as a conservative ones. In old days, guys will court a girl when he likes her. he visits her home, bring flowers, chocolates or gifts not just to her but the whole family. and even, sometimes, he will sing or what you call "harana". courting will last a month or years. but today in modern times, do you think "courting" still exists? how do filipino guys court the girl of today? which do you prefer? the old traditional way of courting or the new one? why?
6 people like this
27 responses
@salonga (21960)
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
There are some traditional ways that does not seem to be applicable anymore. But I am still very conservative. I would prefer that a man would go to the house of a woman to show the sincerity of his love and purpose to the woman. I don't like the courting to be done in other places and then the parents will only come to know once their daughter is already pregnant. It is so sad that most of the women today do not mind being courted that way. And how much more, I am deeply saddened that there are some women who are are now going to the boldest way of pursuing and courting the men they like. Tsk!Tsk!Tsk!
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
you are right, the modern women of today, sometimes they are the first one to do the move. they give a hint to the boy they like.
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
I think I could not last long if I court the old traditional way. The thought of waiting for months is acceptable, but for years, Oh my gosh! I could not imagine myself hurting and waiting for that. The "harana" is still applicable but has to be done the modern way also. I mean, who in the elephants butt would go directly to the house of the girl in the evening to serenade, you might have been mistaken as someone is having a caroling. Of course, it will be done but try to ask permission first before doing the thing. This is not the old days anymore. Serenading someone dear to our heart would mean going an extra mile. The joy it brings seems endless and in modern times, they find it rather sweet because not everybody can do it.
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
yup serenading today will really mean big time. it will be extremely sweet and very much appreciated by the girl.
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
Hey! I've actually seen the "harana" done here but in a new and modern way. Traditionally, the guy would go to the girl's house and then serenade her. A few years ago, me and some of my friends(we had a band back then) got together for another friends who wanted to serenade a girl he was courting. We sat in a secluded area within the University grounds and he brought her to us after class. We were playing love songs and she really enjoyed. I courted my girlfriend but not the same way it was long ago. I would buy her chocolate, flowers and other gifts. I asked her out on a few dates and then we would watch movies or have dinner together. I still think courting exists but it's not the same as it was before. I think the old way is better because not only are you courting the girl, but you are also wooing her family. It makes it easier for them to accept you in the long run.
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
That was really cool. serenading the girl in the school.thanks for the reply
@JOIEMARVIC (2343)
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
im a girl, and yes, i would love to be courted.. girls love attention, appreciation, attention,attention and attention..hahaha... girls loves flowers, chocolates,the stuff.. we love to dress up and go on dates.. we love the sweet words the sweet texts, the gifts, free rides, free meals, free movies.. oopppssss...im sounding too materialistic already.. i really loved to be courted but courtship has its downsides.. guys tends to put their best foot forward when courting.. its good,definetely good,but us girls will expect that they will be the same sweet understanding guy that was courting us before if ever they become our boyfriends.. so what do i prefer? id rather love you now.. then you could court me forever..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
its true that sometimes boys are just pretending to be and that. :(
@switlyf (650)
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
Traditional way of courting is really sweet. I think there are provinces who still does the traditional way of courting.NOwadays courting only last for a week and that's the longest! And they are doing it through text messages! I dont know if it is considered as an advantage of the new technology..LOL Happy mylotting!
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
hahah. might be an advantage for the guys
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
I think those kind of courting is very pretentious. I am more comfortable with friendship first then you develop into more intimate relationship. Me and hubby did not go through the courting stage, we became friends and rely on each other and became an item, and 8 years after we are still so into each other.
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
hi pehpot! good for you. i think you and your husband is a cute couple. stay happy. god bless!
@mimpi1911 (25467)
• India
23 Sep 08
Hi red! It was so much similar here in India as well. The courtship days not only gave an opportunity to know each other but also the families. It was a sweet thing! Now things are changing rapidly and courtship is being fast changed to live in things. I donot know about 'harana'. Could you pls tell me more about this?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
harana is serenading. the guy will sing a song for you.
@ANTIQUELADY (36494)
• United States
23 Sep 08
as long as they do it in a nice way don't guess it matters altho the old way seemed pretty nice. i wouldn'tmind being courted again.lol
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Oct 08
it would be really nice if someone serenades you. thanks. take care
@subha12 (18473)
• India
24 Sep 08
it is somewhat similar in india. but may be something is different. but in India in some parts still the traditional way is there only. many people are also coming out of this situation.
1 person likes this
@ganda8831 (816)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Nowadays, most guys no longer court girls the traditional way. If a guy likes you he often sends you text messages or calls you on the phone. If you like him also you respond as often as you can to his text messages and accept his phone calls. It's no longer necessary to visit her at home and give her lots of gifts. I prefer to be courted in both ways. I want my suitor to visit me at home and meet my family and give me flowers and chocolates. But at the same time i also want him to send me text messages professing his love for me. And call me as often as he can.
@iyah10 (4119)
• Kuwait
23 Sep 08
Well, I am not a Filipino and I do court with my wife in the way that I knew and yes she is conservative in her own way but if I will be a Filipino as well and then court the way you have from before I guess I could not do that way for it is very hard so I guess i am lucky that I meet my Filipina wife her in Kuwait......
@rainmark (4309)
23 Sep 08
Lucky you then, you never find hard courting your wife. If you were filipino maybe you experience worst than whatever you imagined lolz. Happy posting.
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
25 Sep 08
Hi Seems nice customs but it means that poor guy cant court any girl with big family So its particulary fiolipina discussion, lets see what people say, but i am sure tradiotinal way sound good and only serious couple can go for it Take care
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
traditional way of courting was so sweet. but sad to say it doesnt exist anymore most girls nowadays are one txt away. hehe
@acevivx (1567)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
I think that courting is still being done nowadays although it may be done differently or in modern ways. No matter how short it is, when a man goes out of his way to get the woman he desires to have tender feelings for him, either through flowers, chocolates or paninilbi or more modernly, through sweet text messages, asking the lady to a movie or sending her love notes or emails, it is still courting. Now if you ask me if the old fashioned way of courting is still alive, I hope so because it is more romantic and i think in the provinces, it is still being done. I like the idea of "harana' of being sent flowers and chocolates, of being visited at home by my suitors and definitely I prefer the traditional courting than the modern way. Did you court your wife or girlfriend through the traditional way? Don't you think it is more romantic that way?
• Belgium
24 Sep 08
i prefer the old traditional way, coz by that you can measure if the guy is really sincere on what he's doing. While for now, the guys do courting through text, online comunities, instant messaging program on the computers which i find cool but you can't tell if the guy really loves you or he just want to play with you. So, the old traditional way really is the best way to find your mr.right.. :]
@chiyosan (29402)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
i think it is fun to be courted the traditional way guys right now do come on too strong and a bit assuming about your feelings for them. when you smile at them or talk to them they think that is already a hope they can hold on to. i think guys courting girls before arent as assuming as the guys right now.
@ratyz5 (7836)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Courting still exists but, not sure if guys still 'serenade' the girls they'd like to win over. I mean, that's cool, publicly expressing one's emotions while being accompanied by music. Its perfect for the rural set up, especially at the provinces where the breeze is comforting even at night as the moon shine makes everything more romantic. The guy just have to go by the window of the girl's room and start playing.. if a light appears, you got her attention, if the windows open, the guys just could only hope that the girl looks out and listens. There are comedic chances wherein the parents who disapproves would be the one at the window and pour them water or something more nasty.. if not the girl herself who is really hard to court but, the guy still insist on courting due to the challenge as well as his perseverance to have her accept him. I really don't know if there is a modern way of courting.. would it still be courting that also includes getting the girl's family to accept the guy whose courting? All the ones I usually hear about would be girls getting courted through SMS which isn't really nice in my opinion. That's simply odd and not really 'hands-on' in a way.. who knows that a friend is merely composing those sweet messages and some girls really fall over..(-_-") Now, what gets me thinking on the other side of the fence would be that, how come girls can be courted by a number of suitors at a time while guys can't court a lot of girls at the same time as well..? Of course, that's a silly question to ask.. (^0^ ) It would be a lot of expense for the guy to try and court a number of prospects and if girls find out, he'd surely lose them all from that act alone.. if that kind of guy could court a number of unknowing girls, what more if that guy marries them all and kept it a secret from all of his wife?
@rsa101 (13347)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Well I have not witnessed that kind of courting nowadays. I guess those where the days of our Grandparents or even parents. But nowadays, I guess courting is a little simpler than the one we used to do. But its nice to see at times when our Lolos used to tell how they serenaded their loved ones before. But if you would ask me I won't do it anymore, it's just not me.
@magojordan (3257)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
For me it is ok to do traditional courting but of course it wouldn't be a problem if we court the non traditional way or sometimes even no courtship at all. What matters is you both love each other and that you are both willing to take responsibility into entering a relationship.
@jm0911 (53)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
courting girls!? ahmm. me as Filipino. by this time. in philippine society. it depends on the situation of looks hahaha .