Do you have a hard time saying NO ?

Canada
September 29, 2008 7:40am CST
In life we are always being asked to do things for someone else , either to stay later after work , someone would like to borrow money , or to lend something , so when you are asked something and you really don't care to do it , can you say no ? Is it hard for you to say no to ohters and why or why not ?
6 people like this
23 responses
@ronaldinu (12454)
• Malta
4 Oct 08
I always try to be helpful to others and I do have a hard time saying no to others. But yes sometimes one has to be firm otherwise other people might take advantage of you. I find it hard saying no to family members even if it implies personal sacrifices.
2 people like this
@elitess (5077)
• Ipswich, England
20 Oct 08
Hi there my friend. I had such problems when i was younger, but after i played some online games where there are a lot of beggars and opportunists i slowly learned to say no without any trace of remorse - by the way, about beggars that want money, a recent study showed that Our beggars have up to 5000 RON per month, that's about 1900 USD per month, which in translation is twice my dad's salary and 2,5 times the salary that my mom has so that sure made me stop for EVER in giving money to beggars.
• United States
17 Oct 08
It's not hard for me to say no at all. If I was aksed to stay late after work, and I wasn't expecting to, I wopuld have to let them know that I can't, I guess. I might have somewhere that I have to be or go immediately after that could not wait or something. I would hope that no one asks me for anything, because I don't ask anybody for help or handouts or any kind. I wouldn't feel comfortable. The last thing I asked someone for was for boxes when we were moving, and that was from my mom, and she had been offering for weeks. But, if I'm in a position to where I can halp someone, I will. esp. if someone really needs it. I remember a few years ago, I was riding with a friend, and we went to get some food. It was late, there was this homeless man sitting outside, looking really sad. And, my friend spoke to him, and the homeless man looked up all surprised that someone even said hi, and spoke back. And then my friend rolled up his window and said "I ain't got nothing for you man." And I told him that was so mean. If I could go back, I would've asked that man if he wanted something to eat, and I would've went back to get it for him. I keep thinking about him, and how he was sitting there looking so sad. I felt so bad for him. I would like to help someone like him in a way who really needs it. He wasn't bothering anybody, wasn't begging, he was older, and he just looked so sad. That was somebody's family memeber out there with not even a place to lie his head. It's just so sad. I think I want to do some things to help some homeless people. I think a lot of people ignore homeless people, because a lot are always begging, or they think they should get a job. But, we don't know their situation of how they came to be homeless, who is their support system, or what their skillset or mindset is, or even if they can get the resources they need to get back on their feet.
1 person likes this
@flagella08 (5069)
• Philippines
15 Oct 08
it's hard to say no to people who do a lot of favors to you. this is a disadvantage for me because even if it's against my will ill just say yes because of that. im practicing to say no this time
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Oct 08
I have learned to say no when it is something that I will not feel comfortable doing or I know that I really don't have time to do. My daughter has a real hard time saying no. If somebody calls her and asks to borrow money that she knows won't be paid back she loans it anyway. I would not do it. She trys to make everybody happy. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way.
1 person likes this
@whittear (110)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I do have a hard time saying no to people, especially family and friends. I am a giver and I like to help out when I can, but sometimes people try to take advantage of that. Even when I really don't want to do something sometimes I will or I won't come right out and say no. If I want to get out of it I'll come up with an excuse. I feel like I need a reason to say no because if I don't I'm being mean. I know logically that isn't always the case and that you can't make everybody happy all the time, but that's just the way I feel , I can't help it.
1 person likes this
@villageanne (8579)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I think you must know me. LOL I have always had a hard time saying no to anything. I am a giver. I would give away everything if someone ask me for it and I thought they needed it. That is except my family. I dont think I would give them away. LOL
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
yeah i have been in that same scenario for years now. i am having hard time saying no to people because i feel bad or they make me feel bad if i say no to them.
1 person likes this
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
yes, its hard for me to say "no". And its not always right to say "yes" . We must really think of our decision before saying a "yes" or a "no". I know one "yes" in my life that I'm still sorry up to now.
1 person likes this
• Canada
20 Nov 09
I don't have a hard time saying not AT ALL!! I know that if I don't set my boundarids now, I will only be taken advantage of by other people. my husband has been taken advantage of in the past, and I have had to teach him how to say no sometimes, and set his own boundaries. He's come a long time since I met him.
@wolveren (1525)
• Philippines
30 Sep 08
I regularly try to help people, specially if they are in dire need of one. But there are times you just have to say no. It is not that bad at all you know. If you say yes to everyone who asks you for a favor or an invitation. You'll end up all pooped up at the end of the day. Take for instance my experience in the company I worked for. I say yes to almost about every other department to help them with their designing needs to give the company a push. What do I get in return? Nothing. I did it so I could help. What do they do? A top guy thought my job was redundant(for obvious reasons he couldn't earn while I was around, he would rather have outsourced all the job I did to get commission from the outsource) and they wanted to let me go. They talk about cost cutting and they left me on the street so the top guy could have the company spend more on the outsource rather than save money on me. When you have given so much to the company, you have nothing left for them to use. Lol.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
30 Sep 08
Being humans, we just cannot hurt anyone's feeling and in most cases it gets hard to say NO. WE are instinctively good, thoughtful and kind. That perhaps refrain us from doing or saying many things that we feel might hurt someone. So, even at the expense of ourselves we go to the extent of helping others. But there should be a line after which we shouldn't take it anymore. For then we are taken for granted and that may be the appropriate time to say NO firmly. Thanks.
@switlyf (650)
• Philippines
30 Sep 08
It depends like in work whenever my boss asks me to do o.t. i can't say no or even if i answered yes i still think of it. I don't know why but its really hard to say no, it depends of course with the situation. Thanks and happy mylotting!
@alokn99 (5718)
• India
30 Sep 08
It would depend on what the item is and who the person is. I do find it difficult to say no and that is because of the fact that i have got help from people without asking. So what harm it carrying this forward ?
@mtdewgurl74 (18122)
• United States
30 Sep 08
It is hard for me to say no most times since I fall for every sob story they throw at me. I do get tired of giving in and being stuck with someone Else's problem. My husband gets mad at me for giving in also so I end up having to listen to him tell I had enough. When I do say no I usually have to deal with them getting peed off at me and giving me the cold shoulder or having to listen to them yap at me and how I am messing up their lives by not doing them a favor. It is just to much drama. That is why I give in so I won't have to deal with it.
@belk89 (1104)
• Philippines
29 Sep 08
I never had the hard time of saying no if i am not in the mood to help or i know that i cant actually help the person because i have other things to take care of. I am always nice to my relatives and friends but sometimes when they borrow me money or asked something i see to it that i also have something left for myself. I dont just say yes all the time. Sometimes when you are too nice to them even if deep inside you dont wanna do it. You were not happy anymore of what you are doing. I help people or give favors to people because i wanted to and not because i have to do it even if i am not happy at all.
@Humbug25 (12552)
29 Sep 08
Hi there samtaylorskykierajen I really do have a hard job saying no and I think it is because I am such a nice person - or it could be that I am way too soft!! Always find it easy to say no to my kids though
@nanajanet (4437)
• United States
29 Sep 08
I used to be a huge "yes woman" and hated asking others for favors and did not want to disappoint. But I have learned that it's okay to say, "No". It took me a long time because I just wanted to please everyone. After my son passed, I realized that I had to think of me, too.
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
29 Sep 08
Having been burned for saying "yes" a number of times I am getting more comfortable in saying no. Sometimes, especially with family, I feel bad about it but it usually ends up being the right thing.
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
29 Sep 08
of course it depends on who is asking. i can't say no to my children or grandchildre if it's in reason. i can say no if i think that's what's best for the situation.