Doing the best I can......
By phisha84
@phisha84 (286)
United States
October 1, 2008 5:52pm CST
Like the story goes....If you are financially struggling its your fault! But what happens when you are with a guy that you love and he loves you....he racks up your credit card...Dont worry babe I'll pay it...and for six months he does do what he had promised....He later on beats me up infront of my children, punches wholes in the wall and breaks the new $200 dollar verizon slider that he wanted to buy me but put on my credit card, he wanted to buy me "sexy" $40 perfume and put on my credit card, him clothes and put on my credit card...and then leaves me for a seventeen year old pregnant girl, thats pregnant with his best friends baby? Is that my fault...I say yes because it was my faith in him that led me to do it, but my stupidity for using MY credit card....Why did I put so much faith in him and not see that anything would happen, not see that he was using me, not see his stupid a$$ game.......I have a $4000.00 credit card that I'm stuck with and a $600 income a month and two children to feed and support, and no help from their idiot father....It me, alone, I kick myself hard in the a$$ everyday, wishing to wake up and not be depressed, to not have met him, and to not have thought he loved me. So any ideas to get my payoff? Yeah I know I'm fked royally...
4 people like this
12 responses
@cassandralynn (1084)
• United States
1 Oct 08
I know in the state I live in that if a father doesn't pay child support the state will go after him and take it out of his pay check monthly, infact I know of two men right now that have a good hunk money taken out there paycheck for child support. The department of human services will do this if the man is reported for not paying child support. Please check into this for your children's sake. And since your a single mom bringing in only a small amount of money monthly you qualify for benefits like food stamps and housing assistance. You should also look into taking your ex-boyfriend to small claims court so he can pay off the credit card debt he stuck you with.
3 people like this
@phisha84 (286)
• United States
1 Oct 08
oh huney...I've done all of that....he's hispanic not that means anything but around here it does....He's went and sold his social security number to several people and they sold it to several people.....and his parents hide him....He moes around the united states more than he changes is underwear....I have been in touch with child support for three years now trying to give them any heads up, that I know of about him.....I can't wait for my court date...and they award me an amount....because I know his secret....He LOVES income taxes! And when I get awarded a final amount and he doesn't pay it...that large sum will come at once...so yeay...I kinda feel bad for those dudes that are using his ss# oh well they'll get their yanked too....hummmmm I wonder if I can catch them all that way and they can go to jail and then my xhusband go to jail for selling it....hey that would make me happy to see his a$$locked up.....
4 people like this
@mjmlagat (3170)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
I'm so sorry to hear bout your situation but I admire you for your courage and strength to persevere in life. Don't give up, hope is never lost. With all the problems we have in life, there is always God who helps us overcome them and be happy at the end. Think of your children who have been your priceless jewels. Good luck and God bless you and your kids.
2 people like this
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
OMG..
i am so sorry to have heard your story..you deserve somebody better and you can find someone who really cares and not just use like that guy did. dont worry, you'll be free of debts when you slowy pay it.. just dont use your credit card anymore and try paying it slowly, you'll get through this.. and just remember that there are people who are in deeper and more complicated situation than you are..s o keep your hope up!
i am so sorry to have heard your story..you deserve somebody better and you can find someone who really cares and not just use like that guy did. dont worry, you'll be free of debts when you slowy pay it.. just dont use your credit card anymore and try paying it slowly, you'll get through this.. and just remember that there are people who are in deeper and more complicated situation than you are..s o keep your hope up!1 person likes this
@longbangod (1785)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
Sad to hear this. How could you allow these things to happen? Is it really out of love? I think he is abusing already and he don't deserve your love.
Anyway as I always believe, all things happen for a reason, so I think God wanted something from you. Try to think it over and make out the best that you can to get away from this situation.
Remember always, God loves you, maybe He just wanted you to be strong or even stronger to face life's uncertainties.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
2 Oct 08
take him to court, and make him pay you for all that. and if i was you i would have press charges on his worth less behind, because he's not a man to begin with, he's a a jerk, ok i wanted to call him worst. but..
he makes guys like me who are real men look back.. take him to small claim court for your money. take every last cent he got
1 person likes this
@ganda8831 (816)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
You do have a big problem. If you dont pay those credit card debts their going to pile up and it will be more difficult to pay them. I suggest you force your boyfriend to pay his debts to you because he was the one responsible for accumulating all that debt. Also ask your children's father for financial support. It's his obligation to give money to his kids. Tell him that you're going to sue him if he doesnt give you money. Can you ask anyone to take care of your kids while you find a job? even a part time job will suffice. You can ask your mother for help. Goodluck to you.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Well, all you can do is to remember to not give up hope. In reality there are sometimes things we do not understand, but what we go thru helps to make us stronger. Personally, if he is the father of your children you need to remember that you do not have to give up hope and all is not lost. Even if you were not married, he should still be held responsible, and you could try and explain the situation to your CC company and see if there is any recourse on that one as well. All I can say is I will be Praying for you, and wishing the best.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
2 Oct 08
This is a tough situation. I think it is a good thing you are out of this relationship - love really can make you blind sometimes, but at least you are well out of it.
It will be interesting for you to see what happens when/if you can get them to garnish "his" wages - if he's letting other people use his SS number, it could mean that you get a lot of money, or a whole bunch of people get into a lot of trouble.
Is there anyway in the meantime that you can increase your income or decrease your expenses? ie. government programs to help with your bills, and occasional work to increase your income?
I write reviews on reviewstream. It's not much, but it adds up over time. If I was more conscientious and wrote 4 each day, that would be an extra $50 per month, approximately. Right now I average 1 per day, so it can take quite a bit longer. But I've been paid several times.
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
2 Oct 08
you could sue him for half that bill legally don,t let him get away with this he used you to the hills and he keep using you until he used you up.then he walked away don,t kick yourself to hard i was him who did not realize he had someone to love his sorry behind.he will miss you and all the things you did for him move on don,t look back i know you are depressed but try to pull it together for your children if no one else.they who really needs you maybe you can work a little over time.since you and he stay together that was common law married sue him for half the bill this will put a smile on his face.
1 person likes this
@devilsangel (1817)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I'm sorry but I have no sympathy for you what so ever. Like you said YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER... I mean seriously in almost every discussion you post you've got some kind of retarded drama going. How about stop trying to lay up under someone so bad.
You were complaining about only having a $600 income so why do you even have a credit card in the first place. When your monthly income is less than the spending limit on your card why even have it, knowing all it's going to do is put you further in debt.
Odds are you probably knew he was a dirt bag when you hooked up with him, yet you did it anyway.
If you want your life to change how about start acting like an adult and a parent and make responsible choices and do something productive instead of things that do nothing but bring more drama to you.
@amanda333 (739)
• France
2 Oct 08
Everyone makes mistakes, don't feel bad, YOU can get your self out of this, us women are stronger than men think. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope one day you will look back on this and laugh because you've come out the other side. I don't no if you believe in God or not, but i do no that when i've been at my lowest point in life (which i have) i have prayed and the answers have always come to me. Its not your fault this has happened to you, you was just going along in life the best you could and now its black. Stay strong and you will be ok, your children are your strength, don't let your thought's be about him, he's gone now, forget the past and look forward to a bright future. God bless you and i'll say a prayer for you and your lovely children. Don't let anyone put you down we've all been there
@lovemygirls2503 (431)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Well, first is there anyway that you can prove that he used your credit card. If so i'd take him to court and fight him for every penny of it. Do you have any family members that might help you? Another choose you can do is make monthly payments and when you get your income tax check depending on how much you get you can pay it off with that. Thats not what you wanna do probably but it might help. I'm sorry I don't have better suggettions. If you ever want someone to talk to send me a message and i'll listen. I could always use a friend.
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Hey girl! I feel your pain, but don't get down on yourself anymore. You are lucky to be rid of him and one day you'll look back and think $4,000.00 wasn't much compared to your peace of mind and sanity. I'd start with the credit company, call and try to get the interest reduced, or try to get the debt negotiated down. Sure it will be a mark on your credit report, but you can always re-establish credit. You can call them and make sure you state you are willing to pay, just that you need additional time or lower payments. As long as you say you are willing to cooperate, there is not much they can do. If that doesn't work, send in a small payment, even if it doesn't meet the minimum. If they accept payment and cash your check they are on the hook and must work with you. You are not fked royally, you would have been if you stayed with him though! Good luck and God bless!
