Does your husband clean house ? How do you feel about it?

United States
October 3, 2008 7:49pm CST
My husband cleans house! I clean durring the day while he is at work but when he gets off, any and everything that is left to do he does and it maks me feel bad because I am/was going to do it and he worked all day. Why does he do it? Do you see where it bothers me or makes me feel bad? Does your husband clean house? How do you feel about it? If (yes he does) or (no he dont). Please answer either way.
4 people like this
21 responses
• Philippines
4 Oct 08
A big YES! My husband clean the house,cook breakfast,lunch and dinner. Wash clothes and dishes.Clean our back and front yard. I think theres nothing wrong if your husband does sometimes do all this kind of job because now a days it should be a two way process especially if your a working mom also. Helping each other inside and outside the household for both of you i think will lighten all your loads. Maybe in order for you not to be hurt if your husband does cleaning maybe you better talk to him. You should have open communication because its very important in a relationship as husband and wife.
• United States
6 Oct 08
It is just that I do not work... he works 10 hours a day 6 days a week... I have told him and he just smiles and says "I am just helping honey, I want to do this".
• United States
6 Oct 08
PS. Sorry, lol. Just wanted to say.... We do communicate very well and I do agree that, that is very important in any relationship. Thanks for your response...
• Philippines
7 Oct 08
Maybe your husband grew up in an environment where helping household chores is part of their life.That's why he responded to you "im just helping honey". Maybe accept for what he is.
@jaygee96 (316)
• Philippines
4 Oct 08
Yes, my husband cleans the house but only when I asked him to do some chores. Its a good thing that you dont have to ask your husband anymore to do some household chores. You'll have more problem if he's lazy when he's in the house and just expect you to do everything.
• United States
6 Oct 08
TRUE... TRUE... TRUE... My dad is that way! lol hanks for your response...
• United States
6 Oct 08
OOPS... *Thanks for your response...
@kcgobble (68)
• United States
5 Oct 08
I can see how that would make you feel bad. I was a stay at home mom for a little over a year and cleaned the house and took care of the kids all day long and when my husband came home he would help clean up too. It made me feel bad then. Now we both work, he has two jobs to my one and he will still come home and try to pick up the house at the end of his 16 hour day. It makes me glad that he wants to help out and at the same time feel guilty that I was not able to get everything done by the time he got home.
• United States
6 Oct 08
I think we agree then! Thanks for your response...
• United States
5 Oct 08
I am not marry yet. I just want to read the response so that I will know what to expect. ^__^ IF I were you, I would be happy that he did help out with the housework. But that's just me. I don't like to do housework. I am very much lazy. =D
• United States
6 Oct 08
Lol. you are silly too. Thanks for you response...
• United States
4 Oct 08
My husband does all of the outside chores and always takes out the trash. Inside he usually just does laundry. He will help with dishes if I'm busy and they pile up. He'll vacuum on occasion. Other than that not too much.
• United States
6 Oct 08
I hate taking out the garbage! lol. But I would rather work outside and have him help than inside. lol. Thanks for your response...
@icegermany (2524)
• India
4 Oct 08
if my husband is having off or if i am cleaning the house on weekends he will help me out in cleaning the house and also looking after our son. he helps me vaccuming, laundry and feeding my son and also giving him but i just see to it that he dont do more of work so that he gets tired of and i just ask him to do a little only or only one work among the mentioned one above. specially on the weekends i have more work of cooking, cleaning and taking bath, giving bath to my son and all and hence he helps me out and i feel happy that help but i cant take the advantage of that hence i just tell him to do any one work and the rest i do a little little daily. in this way i just complete my work too. yes i know it is so difficult that they go out for a job and then come home and help in cleaning is not so easy and hence i never expect from him any work on the week days and only thing is he does some kitchen shopping in the week days if required.
• United States
6 Oct 08
My husband will not, not do anything and I am gratefull but stupid at times also I guess! lol. He is the only husband that I know personaly that has changed the same number of diapers than the wife! He does everything that could be done, i think I need to just suck it up and realize that it is positive, he does not do it for negative reasons. Thanks for your response...
@my2boys (821)
• United States
4 Oct 08
My husband sleans the house if i am sick or if i ask him to. He works 80+ hours a week so that i can stay home with the kids. So i try to keep the house clean and let him rest when he is home. But he does help out. When i was pregnant i was sick day and night for 3 months. I could not get out of the bed. He cleaned the house during that time. I feel good when my husband helps me around the house because I know a lot of people whose husband will not do anything around the house no matter what.
• United States
6 Oct 08
See... I was not sick at all (morning sickness) with niether of my kids but with my second pregnantcy I went into pre term labor 6 times starting at 26 weeks and was put on bed rest for about a month at the end of the pregnantcy... he took are of everything and was working also... But it about drove me crazy, I was depressed, angry, you name it because I felt helpless. Thanks for your response...
@soleya (1102)
• Latvia
4 Oct 08
We do our house together with my husband, because I think that cleaning the house is our mutial responsibility. We usually do it on weekends, it is fun and we love to spend time together like that. I feel good when my husband helps me around the house. I don't want to do it alone, it is so much work.
• United States
6 Oct 08
I agree there also... What is wrong with me!?! Thanks for your response...
@fasttalker (2797)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Yes my husband cleans house. He doesn't take on any serious tasks or anything but he will wash the dishes if needed or dust the furniture and he does make the bed every morning. He was in the army for several years so I think that's where that habit came from. It doesn't bother me at all. I never criticize a job he has done. I just wait until he leaves and redo it! LOL
• United States
6 Oct 08
That is probly where it came from! lol. See there is nothing that he will not do... he even baths me still sometimes, after 7 years!!! But before we movd in together he would not keep a clean house, I woud go to his apartment and clean for him! lol. He hardly ever at all does something different then I would so I really have no reason to redo it or criticize... It is funny that you do that though! lol. Thanks for your response...
• Philippines
4 Oct 08
yes he help me in my household chores. were both working. so when he's free he will clean the house or even cook our foods...what he hates though is ironing our clothes...but in every household chores, he tried to help me as much as he can.that makes us a teamplayer in everything we do.so dont get upset with your husband.maybe he's just trying to help you and give you some rest..isn't it romantic...
• United States
6 Oct 08
It is verry sweet! Maybe I am thinking it is a competition or something because I do kinda feel like if he is helping it is taking points away from me. Thanks for your response...
@glords (2615)
• United States
4 Oct 08
I think that you're extremely lucky to have a husband who is willing to help around the house, but I also understand the guilt. It seems like he should be able to come home and relax with his family. Maybe you could tell him that you really appreciate his help but also that you want more quality time. Perhaps you could put a time limit on his household duties, like one hour a day.
• United States
6 Oct 08
Thank you.... I have talked to him about it, it does no good because he says that he wants to help me and we both agree that if there is something to be done... DO IT! Do no let it wait, the sooner you finish the sooner you can spend time together. If you do not finish for that day then it will be that much more and worse the next day. I just wish that I could find a way to have it all done before he gets home... It seemsto me that a ALL clean house = one accomplishment for one day, the little things that I do in order to make a clean house = 0 accomplishments unless theyare all done to = a ALL clean house. Thanks for your response...
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
4 Oct 08
I'm not suppose to answer your question.Because I'm a man.But I feel that your husband is very sympathetic to you.By helping your work he is being delighted. Husband and wife both should be sympathetic to each other. Then peace prevails in a family.You are both good wife and husband.It is an exampl for any family.Thank you both.
• United States
6 Oct 08
HUSBAND OR WIFE... I want any and all opinions!!! ;) Your response makes me feel alot better, I havent thought of it that way! Thank you so much for your opinion and compliment!!! Thanks for your response...
@jstmarfz (1499)
• United States
4 Oct 08
My husband clean house as I do. He clean the kitchen, throw grabage, clean the litter box of our cat, etc. Although I don't want him to work when his at home because I knew how beat he is at work he still try to cleans inside the house when it seems to be dirty for him. He is a clean freak person than me, which is I am glad. I feel happy for that because he still tried to clean our house once in a while just to keep it clean.
• United States
6 Oct 08
It doent make you feel bad or like you are not meeting his expectations of you as a wife? If he is not happy, I am not happy... If I am not happy, he is not happy... Thanks for your response...
@anita27 (90)
• India
4 Oct 08
hi tosharichards,my husband cleans house very rarelyi.e. when some guest are comming unexpectedly then only. otherwise when he here he thinks he is on vacation becoz most of the time he's sailing.but this doesnt make me any difference.i love to keep my home clean so i always clean it whether my husband is here with me or not.you are lucky that your husband helps you in domestic work.
• United States
6 Oct 08
OOOH GIRL! lol. I love the water! If he left me to do all the keeping up that I do 24/7, to go sailing!!! I would be one mad puppy! lol. I would make him either wait until I was done or make him hekp me... so I could go with him. lol. I am very grateful, he is a wonderful husband... maybe it is just pride.....? Thank you for your response...
@sandra966 (269)
• Spain
4 Oct 08
My husband is a better housewife than I am. Sadly he is working full time and I'm not. So it's down to me. So I do most of the cooking, all of the cleaning and washing but I'll be honest, I don't like it and it isn't a priority for me. If it's a choice of spending time with the kids doing something creative or dusting - guess which wins? I'm not saying our house is filthy - it's not, but it isn't as clean as it could be. Sometimes at the weekend, he'll clean up something that has been bothering him, like the kitchen cupboards, or the cupboard under the stairs, and then it's just best to let him be. He'll go at something full on for a few hours and then be all calm afterwards. I used to feel guilty that he was doing it, or that I should have done it, but now I'm like, well if it bothers you that much - go for it. I think we have it sorted!
• United States
6 Oct 08
LOL. See when my youngest girl was born, I had gotten like that and need I say... IT DID NOT GO WELL! lol. The same exact thing would happen but he would throw it up in my face, talking about... I was going to see how long it would take you to do this, you still havent done it so I will! That is when things really changed and it still kind of bothers me because I wish that I could do more with our girls but once I do get started on something with them, we have so much fun that I do not want to stop = less done around the house. And at the same time it is like I want evverything to be done before he gets home so that we can all spend time together when he gets home = If it is not all done and he starts doing it I feel like I am slacking. Thanks for your response...
• United States
4 Oct 08
My husband and I came to a decision better than 20 years ago when we moved in together. If one of us is not working the housework is that person's responsibility. So after our son was born and I gave up my job, the housework was my job, after I went back to work part time we split the chores. Now on the days I work he cleans and on my days off, I clean. The only thing I don't let him do is laundry, he doesn't remember to sort it and I don't like everything turning out pink. But right now he has to cook supper 4 or 5 times a week. I do try to make casseroles or things that cam be precooked and then warmed up on my days off, but he's a much better cook anyhow so he doesn't mind doing the cooking as long as I do the grocery shopping.
• United States
6 Oct 08
AWE!!! See I often wondered if it would be easier to keep a clean house if I went to work!!! Only because I figured if we were always at work and the girls were at daycare or school in a few years then nobody would be there to mess up. BUT... we really do not want to put them in day care and really can not rely on people we do trust... to keep them 100% of the time. Thanks for your response...
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
4 Oct 08
Yes my husband cleans the house...not as much as I do but he does help out. I never really need o ask for help just on occasion. There have been times that he has done something that I thought could have been done differently but never say anything. I just really appreciate what he does and would not want him to think I was criticizing him.
• United States
6 Oct 08
I guess that is one good thing about me and my husband... We want things around the house done the same way, we think and do the same on little things like that. I just dont want him thinking that I need his help allll-though... it is nice! I just simply wish it could all be done so that when he got home from work there would be nothing left to do but shower, eat, relax, spnd time together, go do things we want and go to sleep. Thanks for your response...
• United States
4 Oct 08
My husband does not clean the house since I am at home more than he is. I'm fine with it. When we were both working full time, we would both make attempts at cleaning, since both of us were gone so much. I actually enjoy keeping a clean house.
• United States
6 Oct 08
I also enjoy keeping a clean house, I do not work outside our home but have two small children. It is not too easy keeping the house in perfect order with two children plus other duties that have to be done. There again maybe I think a clean house is more than clean to everybody else. If I made a list of things that had to be done every day in my house in order for it to be 100% DONE... It would take one sheet of notebook paper front and back and thenabout 1/4 of another sheet and would take about 2-4 days to complete (the right way)! I do this!!! That is how I know... but it is not including work outside the house or running around town to pay bills or what not. Thanks for responding...
@mscott (1924)
• United States
4 Oct 08
I am a husband and I do clean the house. I hate having a dirty house. With kids I expect it to be messy but I will not let it be dirty. I also clean all out. When I start cleaning I clean everything. I scrub and vacuum and go crazy. If I am going to do it I want to do it right.
• United States
6 Oct 08
See we have 2 kids ages 2 and 3, my husband dont do the scrubbing, dusting and things like that. He never has to worry about that not being done, just little things like dishes, vacuming and so on. Once e starts he will not stop until it is all done and even while he is cleaning I am still helping to finish. I just dont like that he has to, do you have to do these things? Does it bother you at all to have to help at times? I keep a clean and straight house but I just feel bad when I think it is almost done and start feeling like I did acomplish something that day and then he comes an pretty much takes over (I feel). I know that he does not mean anything by it but that is just how I feel sometimes. Thanks for your response...
@shell94 (990)
• Canada
4 Oct 08
Not very often! I wish he would help me in the house more as he is not working outside the house right now.
• United States
5 Oct 08
I am sorry to hear that! See, my husband would lose his mind if he was not working outside the house AND not doing things in the house. He always has to be doing something! lol. It is a good thing but it just makes me feel bad at times for him to actually have things to AFTER work. I feel like it should all be and stay done, though I do my best it is never always all done. Thanks for your response...