Their father threatened to kill them. What should I do?

Philippines
October 27, 2008 6:18am CST
I have four half siblings in my mom's second husband. My mom works overseas so my brothers and sister are left to the care of my grandmother and their father. But you can't really expect much from their father. He's a drunkard, jobless and an adulterer. We just don't mind him that much. Even my mom doesn't care about him anymore. He does what he wants and as much as we can we don't get involve in his business. But lately, he's been acting crazy. He would yell and curse his children. Sometimes, he would even hit them when I and my grandmother are not around. I cannot blame my siblings if they've lost respect in him. Sometimes, they would answer back and yell too. This morning was the worst incident. He told my sister to shut the hell up because if he gets fed up he might kill her and the boys too. It was really creepy. Even the kids were scared of him. My grandmother cried that he could say such things. I just wish he would go away. But he wouldn't because he has nowhere to go. Even his mom and family disowned him. What should I do? Should I take legal actions? I could sue for verbal harassment, right? I'm just so worried. I don't know what's going on in his mind. And it's only me, grandma and the kids in the house. I don't know how to protect them if .... Just please pray with me. Thanks you!
11 people like this
38 responses
• Canada
27 Oct 08
You definately need to call the police on this horrible man. If he does end up hurting your siblings you will feel guilty for nto doing more to protect them, just because you are a woman does not make you weak. If you need to, keep things in the house for protection and call the police and have him taken out of that home. A woman can do anything a man can do and if you and your family have to protect yourselves from this monster than you will all pull together and find a way. Hugs, StrawberryKisses
3 people like this
@dfollin (12734)
• United States
27 Oct 08
Amen to that! A woman can do anything a man can!
1 person likes this
@nicholejade (2430)
• Canada
27 Oct 08
Sounds like this guy is a loose cannon. However if he is that much of a bother/threat you should be reporting this to the police as well getting a protective order on him. You shouldn't have to leave the house as it is your grandmothers house. However I don't know why your grandmother hasn't kicked him out of her house. It is her house and she has every right to do so. Who cares if he doesn't have any place to go. He should of thought of that before he pulled all this crap. He as well needs to get into counselling as well as a half way house or something. Get him out of there and get him out fast is all I can say to you. This is not a healthy situation and he has verbally threatened one to harm them. You really dont know what he is capable of either. What does your mom say about all this?
2 people like this
@dfollin (12734)
• United States
27 Oct 08
Yeah,but if she just kicks him out without calling the police and getting guardianship of them the children will be in a worse spot.They would be with him alone.He can take them because they are his children.
• Canada
16 Nov 08
No judge in their right mind would give those kids to him. Grandma needs to step up and start getting guardianship of those children and the children will also have to speak up and tell the authorties what is going on. What this guy is doing is not right. If grandma doesn't boot him out the whole family not only the children but grandma will be in trouble as well. He is a loose cannon and needs help. Don't wait start taking action now.
@monimo (83)
• Canada
27 Oct 08
you talk about respect, but I don't see these men as true men! Any man who hits a child, or a woman,no matter what her age is should go straight to jail, no questions asked on why he did it!!! I don't think society as a whole should ever accept such a thing, and neither should you. Even if he is overall a good man, he should never act upon his feelings, and I understand some people are under tremendous stress, but taking it out on your family is sick! Drinking is a whole different story!! if anything happens again, call the police!!! don't think twice about it! if he is not the parents of those poor kids, they shouldn;t have to bare his behaviour and get beaten up! I really hope this matter will get resolved and advise them to call the police if it continues!
@dfollin (12734)
• United States
27 Oct 08
I agree,he should go right to jail.The key word is respect.
1 person likes this
@carmela0210 (1591)
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
you have my prayers!!it was really scarry!if im in your shoes right now i would made ablotter at the police for your siblings protection and also with you and your grandmother...and next tell your mom about it, how your stepfather acts to your siblings and how worse is the situation, we cant really take our own security for granted, especially that he drinks alot, he might be out of his mind and do crazy things...and just hope not!!!thanks for sharing and happy lotting...
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
27 Oct 08
Much of the advice you have recceived already is very valid in my opinion and all I wish to add divinegwapa is that it is extremely important that there is a record of this man's threats with a valid authority such as the Police. You never know what this man's future actions may be and it is better to be safer rather than sorry and have outside parties aware of the threats as soon as possible. If things ever escalate or end up in court, having a public record of his behaviour will help the cause tremendously.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
I know what you mean. It makes a lot of sense. Thanks.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
27 Oct 08
I feel very sorry for you and the others involved, but for an outsider - especially from another country - to give advice would be unethical. The way you describe the situation, I would say the responsibility lies with your mother. If she is fully aware of what goes on, then she is the one who should take appropriate action. You need to talk to your mother about getting her husband out of the house.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
Yes, I'll do just that. I don't think I can handle it on my own. Thanks for responding.
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
27 Oct 08
I would at least go to the local authorities and file a complaint about it. I would also try to get a protective order against him also that would keep him away from you. I doubt the police or legal system will do anything to him other than put a restraining order on him to keep him away for now. It is awful but the truth.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
I guess the best thing to do is to let someone of authority know about this which is what I will do. Thanks.
@zalilame (880)
• Malaysia
28 Oct 08
That was really awful of the man. I just hope that you'll get legal action soon and if the threat getting worse just move away as far as you can. This kind should not be treated kindly. Hope you and your kids would be alright.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Oct 08
My prayers are with you, but that's not enough. You need a restraining order. Anything that happens in that house you need to report to the police. You need to create a paper trail just in case you need to go to court for whatever reason.
1 person likes this
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
28 Oct 08
Deep prayer can do a lot. Have courage to do an action for the safety of your brother and sister becaused evil does not win over against good. If that happened again my advice is go to the police station for him to blotter what his wrong doing againts the children. The right you have becaused they are in minor age and the father is drunkard and he does not do his obligation to take care of the kids while your mother is working as an OFW. Children has the right to live with peace of mind and not to abused by their father in a nonsense habitual act of his life. While you doing that please have a deep faith and prayer to our God which He is the only Who can solve any problems we have encounter. God loves His children. Don't worry that will be alright. We are here to help you praying for the goodness of your kins. :)
1 person likes this
@cristis12 (125)
• United States
28 Oct 08
I dont know you or your familys Past but you should REALLY get help from the Cops Call them and get a restraining order they will make him leave and if there is a bruise on those kids or anything like that and the kids and you tell the cops they will take your side this is horrible I am so sorry to hear about that if it gets really bad those kids can go into someone elses custody maybe even witness protection and all that good stuff just try your hardest and dont get caught by him if you do research something could happen!!
1 person likes this
@taripres (1499)
• United States
27 Oct 08
Ok, I have a friend going through something similar, but her stepfather, or moms husband, is Bi Polar, has this guy ever been diagnosed! Sounds like he has some sort of problem, could be borderline schizophrenia or something! Don't under estimate his words, legal action wouldn't help an individual if he's sick! Try n get the guy to an hospital and checked out! Could be that all the emotions are coming out due to everyone constantly writing off!! Taripre$
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
27 Oct 08
i did pray for y'all. u need to call the police to him. he's going to end up hurting someone. i hate a drunk!
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
27 Oct 08
Get help now. I don't know what country you live in but wherever it is - get help immediately. That man has to leave. Also, you must tell your mother the truth. My children try to protect me from bad news(I'm old but still working) once I know the truth I can deal with it. I've had a hard life and I know they mean well. But I can deal with bad news and know that they are hiding something from me. You shouldn't have to bear this on your own. Go to the police immediately. I am praying for you and your family.
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
27 Oct 08
I've read several responses to your situation and I can't say I have anything else to add. I just want you to let someone know that this is going on and hopefully some of the advices already given will help you out and prevent things from worsening. I know you're already aware that the most important thing to do here is to ensure the safety of your grandmother, your siblings and yourself. Take care and be strong.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 08
I feel for you and your family, and though this is your call, it's a very serious matter, I feel for the safety of all concerned you may want to consider a restraining order. Some jail time wouldn't kill the guy, seriously. He is a very serious threat if his behaviour is as you say!! I will have you in my thoughts, so please keep us posted..
1 person likes this
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
27 Oct 08
This is your very complicated family problem. According to your version your step father is a dangerous person.He can take any harmful action.So you should be always cautious about him.You may ask police protection.You should go to the court and file case against him.Ask your mother to come home and control his husband.Because by marrying such a bad man she created all the problems.
@hildas (3031)
27 Oct 08
You need to get in the child protection authorities, as soon as you can. You need to report this horrid man and get him removed from the house. I would not even worry that he has no where to go, as long as he is far away from your family. He is a threat to there health and well being of the children. If something happened to anyone of them you could never forgive yourself for not doing something. Please get help or talk to someone who can get him removed out of the house. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
27 Oct 08
I would turn him in for child abuse if you can do that hwere you live. DOnt be afraid to turn him in. ANd he will then have a place to GO!
1 person likes this
@dfollin (12734)
• United States
27 Oct 08
It is a lot more then verbal harrassment,it is physical abuse and threatening their lives! I would definitly call the police and then call my mom overseas and let her know what happened.Plus you should get a restraining order against him.Your mom should then suit him for custody and sign temporary guardianship of the children to either you or your grandmother or even both of you.He will have to go on and find someone else to except his foolishness and stupidity or he will have to go get help,like at a rehab center.Please let us know what happens.God bless you and good luck.