Should I broke up with my girlfriend?

China
November 8, 2008 2:46am CST
I like my girlfriend, yet I can't stand her bad temper. She is sometimes capricious considerably and do some unreasonable thing that should be done at her age, which makes me nuts and kills the romance and confidence about our future. I don't get along well with her parents either. I don't like them because of their dishonesty and falsity. Not like western countries, The relationship between me and my parents in law is same important as the it between me and my girfriend, in China. The contradiction above all shows more obvious then ever, and my girfriend and me are fight frequently with the advent of our wedding. What should I do? should I broke up with her.
5 people like this
34 responses
@figjam00 (1450)
• India
8 Nov 08
according to my point of view i think you should broke up with her because marriage is a long term investment and if you are not getting along with her very well that is giving no good signs for future for your relationship.
4 people like this
@eiram25 (1077)
• Philippines
8 Nov 08
i guess you just have to break up with her before it's too late.if you didn't like her then why did you go on with the relationship in the first place.i think breaking up with her is a more healthier decision than continuing with it.well,of course,if you do love her,you will still weigh things.we can give you advices here but what counts most is your feelings and opinion towards your girlfriend.
3 people like this
• China
8 Nov 08
Are you sure you like her? I think if you like someone, you will ignore her shortcoming. But it is a real problem accordding to what you said, their parents, and your parents. Try to separate each other for sevral monthes, and then you may know what to do.
3 people like this
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
9 Nov 08
garfield_zhou, I think as far as marriage is concern, it would be best for the both of you to delay this undertaking. At least, until the both of you could resolve the issues here. Her temperament other than being psychological could be due to the current circumstances and/or your undoings. I suppose the old advocate of sitting down alone first and think what is actually happening here and then discuss them together would be the best choice of action. All I can anticipate is that, she is a rather anxious individual who cannot tolerate delays and understand the meaning of going slow at times. So, sit down and iron this out with her and make it a point to let her exercise some self control on her part. About her parents, I could not see their being dishonest and the point for doing so. Could it be a misunderstanding between the both of you here? Remember in any relationships there are always differences. Again, having a talk with her and finding out root of the problem might be helpful. In all, I like to remind you on how the both of you met, and the reason that made you decide to be with her as a consideration first before you decide on the fate of this relationship. Sometimes, even if the both of you could not end up as husbands and wives but you can always remain as friends. Cheers.
• India
9 Nov 08
From what you are telling me, I think you should break up with her, because if such a situation is arising right now it can get worse after marriage and since you don't get along with her parents as well, this is a viable option, but its your decision and you are a better person to decide.
1 person likes this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
10 Nov 08
Ask yourself this question... "Is this how I want to live the rest of my life?" If the answer is no, break up. You are worth more than that and you should raise your expectations on how you should be treated. You should be treated with respect, kindness and love. If she cannot give that to you, she is not for you. If you love someone and they love you, you should look forward to being together, should make each other feel good about yourselves, should uplift and support each other and be best friends.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
9 Nov 08
i think that's something you'll have to make your own mind up. her temper is probably not going to get any better [mine hasn't lol] if you care about her & you must i wish u the best of luck w/her.
2 people like this
@freda529 (136)
• China
9 Nov 08
I can't tell you love her from your words.Do you really love her?You should ask yourself this question.I won't say you should or shouldn't break up with your girlfriend.The decision is up to you.But before you make a decision,you should think clearly about at least some questions.The above one undoubtedly is the most important one.Even if you loved her,does that relationship you really want? I am with her together at the moment for my real will? Can I accept her bad temper always and neglect her parents for the rest of your life? I don't understand well about what you said about the relationship between you and your girfriend and her parents in western or china.You should know,the girl is the one will live together with you in your whole life.Of course you should consider about how to deal with the relationship with her parents.But don't confuse which is most important.
2 people like this
@wolveren (1569)
• Cebu, Philippines
9 Nov 08
I guess you should talk about it first, give her the chance to get around the problem. Do it nicely, she may sense the sincerity in you. I have been in that situation with a girl before. Totally gets me off guard. I have a bad temper too you know, but I know how to play it most of the times. If you guys can't meet halfway then you should consider separate ways because it simply won't work. As for dishonest and false people, that is totally way off the charts! A relationship with her parents cannot be avoided though so you have to consider that too. Cheers!
2 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
9 Nov 08
Are you looking for marriage? If so don't. If you want to have an answer to your question, make a list, Good things and bad things. That should tell you what you want to know. No one but you can make this decision
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
9 Nov 08
Personally, I feel marriage is not only between 2 person but including the family members living together. If you are not living together, the family members is easier to manage. However, the one living with you, there needs to be mutual understanding. Occasional tiffs are unavoidable and if the tiffs bring both of you closer instead of drifting apart, I feel there is no harm continuing. More important, ask yourself what you are looking for in the relationship and whether the relationship provides you with what you are looking for.
2 people like this
@taripres (1499)
• United States
9 Nov 08
I say, no! If u guys are contemplating marriage, then u should sit with her a have a loving discussion. If she has a bad temper, find out why is she like that, get her to open up and express her emotions. As far as her parents, I'm not sure about there, but here they're a non issue! Ur not marrying them, ur marrying her. Let them be fake, long as your women is real with u, that's all that counts. Make it a habit to talk with your fiance, so she can open up and bring down the wall. If u love her, isn't it worth saving? One last touchy subject; u may have to have the talk with her about her parents, don't leave that unresolved!!!! Taripre$
@uditpanda (1023)
• India
9 Nov 08
If u want somebody who has seen the same...here is me.I tried to linger up on such a relationship for last 3 years and finally i broke off with a lot of pain inside me.from my experience i can surely advise u to quit the relationship asap....listen friend if u had a mind for adjustment u wud have never gone for the open discussion here....and again u can adjust on something for life....better find out somebody who matches ur vibes...& leave happily....
2 people like this
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
9 Nov 08
How old is she? She does not seem mature enough! Can you talk it out with her? Nobody is prefect! Remember that most women are moody so you have to bear with that. If you have no relationship between you two, than I would consider breaking up and move on with my life. © ronaldinu 2008
2 people like this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
9 Nov 08
Well if your girlfriend has shortfalls, things that you dislike about her, things that make you nuts, you may want to have these issues worked out, permanently, before a wedding. What you state is that of behavioral issues. I am unsure of your ages but it sounds to me that your gf needs to work somethings out for herself. I would be brutally honest with her. i would tell her how I feel and tell her that you want to reconsider the wedding until she matures a bit more. It sounds to me that your girlfriend needs to find where she learned the bad behavior from and make a conscious decision to correct it for the better of herself and her future relationships. I would break up with her until she has made some significant changes in her behavior. If you dislike her now, wait until you are married if you don't nip this in the bud now. Now is the time to lay a foundation for your future. Either allow your girlfriend time to heal her wounds that cause her to be bitter or find a woman that is more gentle and aware. Best to you!
@dodo19 (32885)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
9 Nov 08
First ask yourself if this is worth it. Are you in a relationship that you want to be in? Do you want to wake up and see her face? If the answer is yes, then go for it. Having a bad temper is something you can talk to her about and try to solve it. Every one has faults. No one is perfect. But if the answer to the questions are no, then my advice is don't stay in the relationship. In this case, you're not really in a healthy relationship. Being in a healthy relationship is most likely want you might want to aim for.
2 people like this
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
9 Nov 08
i can,t tell you to break up with her. she is your girlfriend but a word of advice for her ,to control her temper she probably need anger management class. you spoke a little about marriage if you are planning to marry this girl it,s very important for you to get a long with her parents the last thing you need in your life is not getting a long with your in-laws.if she refuses to go to anger management class or couseling then you may have to make some changes because this is no way to start out a new marriage arguing and fighting.so be blessed and i hope you and her can work it out.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
8 Nov 08
You can't stand her temper now, after marriage things will get even worse. If she is to be your wife, seeing her 24/7, can you stand it? People's character cannot be changed, because this is who they are. Besides you said you can't get along with her parents. How the future will be like? Well, it is up to you to decide. Tell her how you feel.
2 people like this
@caskins (689)
• United States
8 Nov 08
hello my fellow myLotter, my opinion is the relationship sounds very unhealthy. and i don't see any good coming out of getting married to her. i think you should break up with her and save yourself grief and money.
2 people like this
@ScottyM (12)
• Canada
8 Nov 08
Either talk it through with her, and if she has a bad temper then doing so will probably make her angry in some way, or break up with her. Keep in mind if she's angry at the fact you're discussing it you should bring that up to her as well, it basically proves your point, and while she may not like it it's better than spending the rest of your life with someone who you can't stand. I know that you also said you like her, but if she does these things that make you go crazy it seems that at some times you like the idea of who she could be but not in entirety who she is at the moment. You'll definitely end up with problems in the future if you don't deal with them now in one way or another.
@borgborg (821)
• Philippines
8 Nov 08
Are you already engaged? Cause if you are and your feeling that way... You might want to reconsider. How long have you been together? Cause I think if you are just in your first months or so, you really are bound to fight always since that will be the stage in a relationship were in your just getting to know the real deal with each other. BUT if you've been together for the longest time and you still are constantly fighting, then you really have to take a step back and think where your relationship is heading. If you love her so much then just accept her for who she is and try to talk things over with her. make her realize what the relationship meant to you and how you can both try to make it work... Hope that helps!
2 people like this