My Ex-Husband Passed Away Today

United States
November 9, 2008 6:05pm CST
My ex-husband's health had been declining fast since I posted the request for prayers. Today I woke at 3:00 a.m. with a knot in my stomach. I knew something was amiss. My son called me early this morning to let me know that my ex was close to death. One of my sons had already left for the hospital with his aunt and grandmother. My son informed me that his father was going to be taken off life support but they were waiting for our arrival before it happened. It took 2 hours to get to the hospital. The tears flowed like rain. We sang songs that brought us joy and talked about better times. When we arrived we went directly to his room. He was hooked up to machines to monitor his heart rate and also a ventilator. His eyes were semi-closed as he was heavily sedated. The nurse told us that his kidneys had failed and they didn't believe he would live without the life support. We decided it was in his best interest to remove the life support. The nurse said he believed that he was able to hear us. Each person took time to speak with Mark, either alone or with someone else in the room. When I spoke to him, my daughter, Celisa, was in the room with me. I told him that I was glad to have become his friend even though our marriage didn't work out. Celisa sang a song to him. I sang one too, well part of one. The only place we could touch him without causing pain was his face and hair. I stroked his forehead and talked to him. As I did I noticed a tear well up in the corner of his eye and as it trickled down, I caught it with a tissue and handed it to my daughter. When I told my family of this they were all excited to know that he knew we were there. One by one we all spoke to Mark. We left the room for a short time so the respiratory care nurse could go into the room to remove the breathing tube. The social worker came to get us when they were ready. We filed into the room and surrounded the bed that Mark lay in. I told him that we were all there to help him with his journey. My daughters sang another song for him. They had a difficult time singing while holding back the tears. As Mark's breathing became more shallow I began to feel faint. I had to sit down. Mark was always a fighter. The nurse said that he was a strong man. We all agreed. The more shallow Mark's breathing became, the more anxious my children and the rest of the family became. They raised their voices saying how much they loved him. His heart beat a bit stronger. He held on. And then his breathing stopped. The nurse said in a quiet voice that soon his heart would stop beating. When it did, we all cried. Although we knew that he was no longer in pain and was finally at peace, we cried for our loss. Rest in Peace Mark. I will always love you.
15 people like this
42 responses
@disvachic (10125)
• United States
10 Nov 08
My deepest condolence goes out to you and your family.I am so sorry to hear your lost.Reading your discussion had me so teary.My heart goes out to you.He does not have to suffer anymore and he is resting peacefully.I hope you and your family gets through this.Stay strong and God bless. disvachic
2 people like this
@ersmommy1 (12607)
• United States
10 Nov 08
I am sorry to hear of your loss. You came together as a family. That is a beautiful thing. Something I am certain your ex appreciated. Peace to you and yours.
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
I am terribly sorry for your loss! I have gone through the same ordeal with some family members. I pray that Mark's soul now rests in peace. And special prayers to you, your children and your family too.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Nov 08
I am so sorry for your loss. In time you will look back on this (what you have written here) and see that in your grief you all went through a touching and beautiful experience. God, bless this family in their time of need.
2 people like this
@my2boys (822)
• United States
10 Nov 08
I am so sorry for your loss. I cant even imagine how you and your family must be feeling right now. It is awful losing someone we love. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God bless.
@ganderlot (352)
• United States
10 Nov 08
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and you family. All the best...
@ESKARENA1 (18304)
10 Nov 08
blessed be, my friend may Mark's spirit pass with the ease his beauty demands. You have been so very very lucky to ease his passing in this way, long may your beauty help people in this way. Love is etternal of that i have no doubt. You will meet again and when you do, the love will be there just as it was at his passing Thank you for sharing such beauty with us all, you were privalaged indeed to be there with him blessed be again from the heart with meaning xxxxxxx
2 people like this
@webeishere (36382)
• United States
10 Nov 08
So sorry to hear this. He was with loved ones when he let go though. This really brought tears to my eyes recalling my moms last few breathes before she passed. He is with his creator and knows the love there was around him in his last moments. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@Feona1962 (7530)
• United States
10 Nov 08
Oh, Elusive.... I am so saddened to hear this...I am glad that you could be with him in the end..His tear brought tears to my eyes, because I went through this with my husband.. He is in a better place now...and someday you will meet again.. Thank you for letting us know...Prayers to all of you to get through this... Hugs to you Elusive....
2 people like this
• United States
15 Nov 08
Please Accept My Tootsie Rolls - Tootsie Roll Miniatures
Butterfly, Your loss really touched my heart. I am so sorry I was not here to know about it. It is said that when you lose a parent, you lose your past; when you lose a partner, you lose your present; and when you lose a child, you lose your future. There are no appropriate words to say to someone who has experienced the transition of a loved one. Your writing of his transition was most beautiful and when it is time, perhaps you should think about publishing it. Your words would take the fear of this part of life away. When I lost my mother at age 35; I lost my mother, my best friend, my daughter, and my sister. She was everything to me. None of my friends really knew how to bring me comfort. One of the girls that I worked with (a 19 year old) had no idea how to approach me so she knocked at my door with a bag of Miniature Toosie Rolls and a 6 pack of Coke. She came in sat down on the couch next to me and said, "If you want to talk I will listen, If you want me to talk - I will talk to you, If you just want to be quiet we can be quiet together; but whatever you want to do we can still eat Tootsie Rolls". That was the sweetest thing that was ever said to me at an emotionally needy time. I can't be with you to wrap you in my arms, but I can say to you that I will offer you a Tootsie Roll.
• United States
15 Nov 08
My dear dear friend. Thank you ever so much. I think of you often and hope that all is well for you. Thank you for the Tootsie rolls....they are one of my favorites. Big huggers to you.
@MsTickle (24734)
• Australia
12 Nov 08
How very, very sad Elusive. My heart goes out to you and your children and Mark's family. That's one of the saddest things I have seen here but I'm glad you shared it with us. I hope your grief lessens with each new day and that you and your family find the peace and comfort you need. Bless you all.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15970)
• Palatka, Florida
11 Nov 08
blessings to you and your family
1 person likes this
@twallace (2676)
• United States
11 Nov 08
My condolences to your family. At least everyone was there to see him off and that was good. The whole family agreed together. Sometimes some members in the family might not want to do something like that. But it's beautiful when the family is all on one accord. That is great that your family knew what to do and when the time came everyone under stood what was going on. Again my condolences to the family in this time of loosing a love one.
1 person likes this
@sarah456 (87)
10 Nov 08
theres nothing i can say that will make it better but i am sooo sorry for your loss
1 person likes this
@teeaye98 (287)
• United States
10 Nov 08
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I could only imagine how it must be. I will keep you and your family in prayer. THe days, months and years to come will get easier. Know that God is with you and with Him, all things are possible. Everything happens in His time. Know that he is in a better place now and without pain. Be blessed.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12859)
• Australia
10 Nov 08
i am so sorry to hear about what is happening to your ex-hubby... i cry when i read your discussion... it sounds so emotional and your ex-hubby is really blessed to have his whole family to be with him when he passed away... i will pray for you so that God will give you and your family the strength to pass through this difficult times... God bless you... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@jeanena (1574)
• Bucklin, Kansas
10 Nov 08
It is wonderful that you could remain friends, My ex and I were friends til he passed as well. I wasn't able to be there for him to say goodbye . I am sorry for yours and your families loss. But Happy to know he knew you were there for him and that you were able to say goodbye to him and help him on his journey.
@samijo719 (1055)
• United States
10 Nov 08
My heart goes out to you and your family at this difficult time. I know how hard it is to lose someone you loved. But how blessed are you to have been able to say your goodbyes, that isn't always possible and he knew you were all there loving him. My prayers go out for your healing.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (7123)
• United States
10 Nov 08
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know what it is like to decide to take a loved one off of life support. We had to do that last year with my aunt. It is great that he knew you were all there and that you all loved him so very much. That is the best way you could help him in his final moments. I am sure he is in a much better place. I hope that you and your family will be alright. Blessings go with you and yours.
• United States
10 Nov 08
Sorry to here about that, i send prayers towards you.
1 person likes this