Do you judge other parents?

United States
November 11, 2008 9:33am CST
I have a big issue with people thinking they are experts in parenting. Yes, having children and raising them to be good and responsible adults is definitely something to be proud of. It doesn't entitle anyone to an opinion on how others should raise there children. Especially if the child has special needs and all of your children were or are "so called normal". All children are different they all need different parenting. None more so then parents of special needs children. Think before you judge. If you are not a caregiver of a child who is special you have no clue to what it is these parents go thru. The next time you see a kid screaming and yelling in the middle of the store (or anywhere for that matter) and think that parent needs to control there child -- DON"T!! What if that kid has PPD,Mental Retardation, or any other (as they are all important issues)disability?? Parents can't control these children as easily as the other "normal" ones. My hats off to all those parents who know what I am talking about first hand you are the hardest working and strongest people out there and i'm proud of the job your doing for your children!!
1 person likes this
11 responses
• United States
11 Nov 08
The only time I have ever gotten upset with any parent is when they are out in public and their child is yelling. Then the parent will only threaten the child "Be quiet or you're going to get it!" or they'll just ignore it or turn the other way while the child continues to wail and carry on. For the most part, when I see kids in Target bawling their heads off, it's because mommy and daddy won't buy them a toy or a snack. It has nothing to do with being developmentally challenged. Those kids are the ones that are red-faced and out of breath from wailing for an hour over not getting a doll or a new toy. I have no sympathies towards those parents. When I was younger, if my brothers or I tried that, we got popped on the butt in the middle of the store for all to see. Now a days, if you tried that, you'd likely go to jail for abuse. No wonder we are rasing such sissies when it comes to our children.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Nov 08
But the question is how can you be sure? My daughter looks like a regular kid. She has MR. And she's behaved that way in public at times. And she can carry on screaming for hours if she doesn't get her way. I don't give into her, but I have to handle it differently then slapping her on the butt. If i do that she'll start hitting her younger sister. she doesn't understand about consquences especially when she's upset. Just think before you judge you don't know for sure unless your a memeber of that family.
• United States
11 Nov 08
You're a member, not your. And I'll full well judge who I want. Developmentally delayed or not, a parent should have control over their children. Yes, I know there are different ways of handling a developmentally delayed child, but to allow them to scream their heads off because they are "different" is selfish and rude.
2 people like this
@daceyp (327)
12 Nov 08
no parrent wants there child to behave like this in any situation.but there are times when a child that has problems is goin to be like it and it is very difficult to get them out of it i no people just see a naughty child but there is alot more to it than being naughty.if every parrent out there got the help they needed for there child all children would be the ideal child but thats not the world we live in and we dont get the help and understanding we need!!!!!!
2 people like this
• United States
12 Nov 08
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to raise a child with special needs. Lord knows I don't think I would be strong enough to do it. With that said, I am one that judges when I see a child out in public acting crazy. I always think, "If that were my child..." I guess I will think twice now when I see something like that. Thanks for the wake up call!
@mikeysmom (2092)
• United States
12 Nov 08
i try not to judge anyone for anything. things are not always what they appear to be. i have my own parenting style and i do things a certain way. it is based on how i was raised and not wanting to parent the way my mom did. she was way too strict and mean at times, yet a good mother. i was afraid of her and resentful though and i do not want my child to feel that way about me so i am firm but lenient and very loving. some may see that as being to easy on my son but i am not interested in their opinion and it works for me and my son and we have a very close and loving relationship. the only thing i have a problem with when it comes to "parents" is when they neglect their children or abuse them in any way. then it is pretty hard not to judge.
1 person likes this
@slarycn (46)
• China
12 Nov 08
haha, i am not children's parent.....
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
12 Nov 08
I am no parent. but at times seeing other people of my gae, i try to think how they are brought up compared to mine by my parents. in case of my siblings, tehy are lazy and do not do any household work.
1 person likes this
@TerryYuan (229)
• China
12 Nov 08
hard to say, i am afraid so, maybe
1 person likes this
@anjanabs (127)
• India
12 Nov 08
all parents like and love their children.but parents shoyld knows how to control their children's emotions.it shold be in a lovable and proper way.affordable things we can buy for our children.otherwise we must make understand our children in a proper way.
@ladysakurax (1163)
• Canada
12 Nov 08
Well I think that judging is something which is a natural instinct. I can't control my brain and say "hey don't think". But when children scream or do whatever they do, i don't care much. On the other hand, there are some cases where i judge. The first one is when i know the child is normal and the parents are teaching their seven years old how to hunt in wild. This sounds crazy but it happens. So it this situation, it's hard to not judge and think about this. I know some kids in my family are just spoiled and their parents are careless. Like children talking back to their parents or when they would do obscene things, those are just unbearable and I think they need some discipline. But what is important is that you know what is righteous. If it happens that people judge , they should be just ignored. They can't poke on their nose in people's business and tell how to raise a child. What is important is that the parents would support their child especially in this society when people give etiquettes.
1 person likes this
@daceyp (327)
11 Nov 08
im the same i have a big problem with people like this.i have a child like you are describing and i dont know how many times i have had to bite my tounge when people stare or comment at what she is doing or saying.i know people dont really know what is happening but that makes it all the worse.if you dont know shut up!!!!!!! its bad enough for parents to deal with children like this at times let alown narrow minded people that think they know it all.the worst one i had was when we were at a fun park and my daughter had a seizure some stupid cow shook her head and said i shouldnt bring her to a place like this.i could have slapped her
• United States
11 Nov 08
I want to slap her to! Sometimes, I think everyone should have to spend time in a household with special needs to have a better understanding and learn to be more tolerant of others. I'm sure your daughter had a lot of fun that day regardless of her seizure.
@daceyp (327)
12 Nov 08
i think maybe they should aswell.but then they prob still wouldnt understand what goes on because no one day is ever the same.we all enjoyed the day out.its nice to see her and her sister with big smiles.
@Erssyl (617)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
I don't think there are really experts in parenting.Because we only learn from our own mistakes.And yes there is no two people are alike.Each of us is different.We cannot blame other parents for their children's wrong doings.No parents will teach their children the wrong thing.And I also admire those parents who gives hands on care to special children.
• United States
12 Nov 08
Hey there chobby and happy day to ya.ya know..i have judged and been judged.I have been in the store and i have seem a bunch of kids running around.screaming ..yelling..throwing things off the shelves..and the parent or parents will say stop! or i will put u in time out! ...yaaaa that worked!! lol lol.nottttt! Then there has been me and my son in the store..been a long stressed out day..when i just want to collapse..but cant because i have mommy duties..but if he gets soo badd..i just leave the store..and he will just have to deal with jelly sandwhiches again since he was soo badd lol..but the thing is..if a parents kid/kids are that bad in the store..you have to think also that not just you but other people are having a badd day and dont need the stress of others kids stressing u out even more..soo what i recommend to those parents that have special kids..or ranbunxious kids..or just baddd kids that day period..get a sitter..or a souse to watch them while you do what ya need to do..Sky has grown up alot..hes 6 and after all those jelly sandwhiches he has had to eat from being bad cause i couldnt get what we needed..has taight him a huge lesson in shopping..Mommy DONT DEAL WITH IT.!! LOL LOL..and u also have to think at a kids angle..what young child wants to or willing to be good for like an hr of boring shopping..when they cant play or run..or touch lol..i dunnooo..but i know i dont get stressed out with other kids like i used to..i have learned its just soemthign we all need to deal with one time or another..btu to let them keep it up threw the whole store...is just rediculous..its not healthy for you orrr your kids..but thats just my opinion..take care..April