When someone's opinion or viewpoint here offends you....

@mommyboo (13198)
United States
November 13, 2008 11:57am CST
..do you automatically respond to their discussion or response and call them a name? Do you stew about it or feel angry? Or do you simply tell them their viewpoint is ALSO valid even if you disagree and move on? If you've called me a name, consider that poor taste, that's a low blow. I have noticed a lot of veiled comments and such about sensitive subjects left here recently in light of the election results. I know what I have stated - that I don't mind if you disagree but that doesn't mean you should interfere with my life nor the lives of others you disagree with. My life and my choices do not affect yours, why should YOURS affect mine, even in theory?
7 people like this
21 responses
@34momma (13896)
• United States
13 Nov 08
the ol agree to disagree theory. wouldn't it be nice if people really did that. we don't have to agree on everything. if we just understand that truth is perception. and that what i believe has nothing to do with who the other person is. we would all be better off. i have my own beliefs, and what works for me, and if someone does not agree, i don't take it personally. what they believe has nothing to do with who i am. Can we all just get along??? LOL LOL
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
14 Nov 08
Hehe.. I like the theory behind agreeing to disagree and I wish it could be taught with a test at the end of the course and people who consistently fail the test are not allowed to infiltrate society LMAO! We would have an entirely peaceful nation and maybe even WORLD if people could do this effectively!! BTW, this is probably why we get along so well, even though we have different beliefs and live on opposite coasts
3 people like this
@34momma (13896)
• United States
14 Nov 08
i think you are right. we don't always agree on a topic but we don't take each other's view point personally. and that's what it's really all about anyway. because we don't agree doesn't mean either of us are bad people but people with a difference in the way we see and experince things
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
18 Nov 08
I'm still really glad you invited me here to mylot, even if I dropped off the face of Yuwie. This place is excellent, I really appreciate it even if I haven't said so in awhile!
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6342)
• Australia
14 Nov 08
I have been called names by some people who did not like my discussion or who misunderstood it and I have simply tried to explain the topic to them. They are entitled to their view but no one should resort to name calling. In my view name calling is silly and achieves nothing other than to antagonise the person you are attacking. Everyone is entitled to their view as long as their view does no impact on the other person's rights.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
16 Nov 08
Ah. This is EXACTLY why I think I was called a name. I disagreed with a viewpoint, and I was the first disagree-er in the thread. I also explained that letting sleeping dogs lie - more or less saying you go your way, I go mine - is indeed a win-win situation with the topic we were discussing. This person decided no, I was WRONG, and everybody should base laws on their views, even people who disagree with their views. LOL! Does that make ME hateful?
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6342)
• Australia
16 Nov 08
Not at all. I think they are just narrow minded.
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
13 Nov 08
If someone offends me, I usually laugh about it. I will respond to that person though, more than likely being sarcastic. It's not a matter of importance to me. They have their opinion and I have mine, and nothing is likely to change
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
14 Nov 08
I'm pretty happy with my own views and my own life, I don't really feel that I need any change. I do like to hear other views just because they are interesting, especially the motivations behind some of them. I just don't like how some folks 'move in for the kill' when they think they've convinced me of something. Wanting to hear about something does not necessarily mean anything else.
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
14 Nov 08
This is true, my friend I may be interested enough to learn more about something but it does not mean I am changing my mind
1 person likes this
@jayyerex (224)
• Canada
13 Nov 08
I have to admit that this very thing just hppened to me. I have been promoting my business in places that hve to do with either making money or any post related to working or starting a business. Now someone has come out andd called me a spammer. I try my best not to come across as pushy. I put the information out there and allow people to make their own decisions. I never chase anyone and I always offer them my friendship first. I am a network marketer and of course this means that I am always looking for people that might be interested in my opportunity. Is it wrong of me to offer this up to people? I don't want people to think that I am completely self serving. I really do care about peoples well being and I want tyo share that which has made a difference in my life. What's wrong with that? Please help ease my mind on this matter.
2 people like this
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
13 Nov 08
IT is against mylot guidelines to put links in your posts and I know very few people who like accepting a friendship request, only to be bombarded with links to "business opportunities."
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
14 Nov 08
I think it is fine to promote something in a personal fashion after someone has indicated an interest. I think it is against guidelines to just post promotion links unless somebody has asked for information. There ARE interest groups that are related to making money and I do see links sometimes in those discussions but I would allow people to come to me after stating that I had information, I wouldn't just post something. I think there are excellent opportunities around, but let people ask you, then you know they are really interested first. Either way, it isn't nice for people to call names or to stalk others just because there are differences of opinion, so if you are getting attacked and you're not doing anything wrong, do report it.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84148)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Nov 08
Yes I always call names first and calm down afterwards. No but seriously, a lot of people are not interested in hearing your opinion. They just want to push theirs.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
14 Nov 08
I just find it funny when someone specifically ASKS 'what would you do' in x situation or 'how do you feel' about x situation so then you tell them what you would do and how you feel and then they go and call you a name because your stance is opposite theirs. I do tell people only what *I* would do, I don't indicate that they should do the same! If you don't want me to answer your question, why did you ask it? Sometimes I think people aren't realizing that ANYBODY can find and answer a post, it's not like you're directing it only to a group of people who subscribe to your point of view, that's the beauty of mylot. Also, clearly if you are not open to ALL situations and only open to one, that would make you closed minded, right? In any case, I always feel it is better to be more liberal and tolerant rather than less liberal and tolerant.
3 people like this
@dawnald (84148)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Nov 08
Yep if they don't want opinions why do they ask? And if they disagree, why can't they say "thanks but I disagree" or some such thing...
@mtata23 (354)
• India
14 Nov 08
well so far i haven't read any response to my discussion that has offended me. So the need to call names has not arisen. but even if i face such situation i may not call names but i will try to reason with the responder what i wanted to say and what he or she understood. things can be cleared and sorted on both sides calmly without saddening yourself.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
18 Nov 08
I didn't even see anything offensive about my post to get the person all up in arms. *I* was accused of being closed minded but I wasnt the one saying I wanted to remove rights from anybody or that there is only ONE way to believe lol.
1 person likes this
@Zezloler (497)
• United Arab Emirates
14 Nov 08
I usually don't get mad if someone disagrees with me. Most of the time, I see the other person's viewpoint valid and accept their reasoning, however if I feel that they're being offensive or careless on purpose, I will probably get irritated. Everyone has different opinions, but I find that offending someone else's intentionally is simply unacceptable. If there's a discussion about a subject that I feel very strongly about or know that I'll get mad about, I often choose to stay away from it, as most people make the mistake of turning such discussions into arguments. =P
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
18 Nov 08
Sometimes I will give my view in a discussion where my opinion may NOT be what the majority of the posters there want to hear. The thing is, this site is open and anybody can answer any post they like. This doesn't mean that common decency and respect should go out the door though, and it doesn't mean that it's okay to bully and mob the person who has a different view. They don't even have to like the view, but it would be nice to just have it accepted as just as valid as theirs, since it is to ME. I don't tell them their view is invalid - it is completely valid to them and I understand that. It's valid to me as a view as well, it just doesn't APPLY to my life in most cases.
1 person likes this
@Zezlol (409)
• United Arab Emirates
14 Nov 08
I agree. I wouldn't tell somebody off (that I don't even know) because they disagree with my opinion. If they offend me, well bully for them. I refuse to join them in their childish ranting. =P A lot of the time I'll try and defend myself by giving examples to back up my view. But, if they still persist, I'll just leave them to think whatever they will and avoid the topic from then on.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
18 Nov 08
Even when I try to defend myself, some people are so closed minded that they can't believe another view EXISTS and I surely must be convinced my view is so heinous that either I have to change my view or I should get off the planet lol. I realize that sounds a little dramatic but if you saw some of these discussions it would make sense. I see you're fairly new to mylot, enjoying?
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
14 Nov 08
i generally do not like to be in conflict.so i prefer to have these things pass off. if it really strikes me, then i answer.its something like this
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
18 Nov 08
I don't really enjoy conflict either but if someone attacks me in a post after I answered a question they asked, it kind of seems low to let them get away with that behavior.
1 person likes this
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
I don't reply to any post that offends me. I just skip it and go to another more interesting post. When I am the one who opens the post, I give all respondents due respect whether it conforms or contradicts my opinion provided the opinion is expressed in a polite manner. However, there are trolls who's opinion is not asked but keep on butting in rudely and sometimes so Bossy. Of course I don't go down to their level but I have my way of letting them know they are getting overboard.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
18 Nov 08
I usually ignore troll type posts too. Some people I think don't seem to be able to be respectful in their own threads when someone gives the input they ASKED for. If they only want responses that agree with them, they should be more clear when posting in the first place lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 08
if it really pisses me off i try to ignore it because i dont feel like fighting on here.. if its about certain subjects i will argue and try to say my point nicely if its to correct some one that totally has lost their minds in their views (such as demanding something is correct when you can prove otherwise etc) i try to never resort to name calling.. i just try to say what i think and move on.. but i have been known to go off on people just because they arent even trying to understand what i am saying and treat me rudely etc.. but i think almost every one is guilty of that lol.. i mostly can see where every one is coming from except for like a few subjects so if i am arguing i usually am playfully or i am just asking questions to further understand what they mean.. i hate it when people just post something to piss every one off and get mad when they get mad..
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
16 Nov 08
Hehehe. Well I can understand 'going off' on somebody if they've already opened the floodgates of hell, but I don't understand it if you haven't done anything but disagree. Disagreeing doesn't necessarily include anything negative, but the way some people harangue others here, you'd think that was a joke and both were listed with the same definition.
2 people like this
@Ithink (10673)
• United States
14 Nov 08
Depending on how much I believe in the discussion, I might just state my opinion and then move on OR I might hit the back button and just move on to another discussion. It isnt like there isnt enough to find one where you can make your opinion be heard and not get ignorant.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
14 Nov 08
I think it's impossibly ignorant to believe that any opinion is solely the right one, and each person needs to realize that 'right' for each person is their own decision. I have said before and will continue to say that 'right' for me may clearly be 'wrong' for someone else, but I think both can exist harmoniously. For instance, someone may not CARE if their 10 year old daughter is wearing makeup, but I do. Someone else may put their five year old on a school bus.... again, I won't. I'm not interfering with their right to allow their daughter to wear makeup or get on a school bus, they can still do it with full blessing from me. That doesn't mean I'm going to do the same thing because I don't want to. The problem only crops up when someone on the other side somehow tries to force ME to do the same because it's right for them. I think I am very tolerant of what someone else wants to do but I'm not going to let them force me into doing it too. Again, I will NEVER interfere with THEIR right to do those things!! I would never infringe on their rights to do as they wish. However, they'd better not infringe on MY rights to NOT do what they do.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
13 Nov 08
I think that if you're asking for an opinion you have to understand you may hear opinions from others that may sound mean, disrespectful or might hurt you. I believe that when you post a message on a discussion forum the same thing can happen. People should understand that. I never call people names, unless I have a very good reason to do that but that's rarely.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
14 Nov 08
There was actually a direct reason I posted this, and it has to do with someone who asked a question and then had a problem with my viewpoint that people should be tolerant rather than make a bunch of rules for people to follow. Apparently it is much better (in their opinion) to be intolerant and petty and force people to follow rules only THEY believe in, and I deserve to be called a name because of it. Perhaps it's because at the time I posted, I was the only person who responded who wasn't applauding their viewpoint. I am fairly sure I have posted with this individual before in other areas of interest without this side of them coming out.
1 person likes this
@soooobored (1187)
• United States
13 Nov 08
It takes a lot to resort me to name-calling! I actually do respect most other's opinions, with a few exceptions. I don't understand homophobes, and those are the least likely to defend their positions. Therefore, I don't respect their views and they don't hold a valid argument. So why say that they do? I DON'T believe in Creationism, but people who defend it intelligently are great in my book, and actually they construct a compelling argument. So I do respect their opinions, and they are arguing validly. I don't come here to fight, I come here to discuss and argue when appropriate. There are posters on here who I guess are just looking for a pat on the back with every thought they have, and you can usually tell right away because they are quick to attack when you disagree. Or not respond. To each his own, I guess!
2 people like this
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
13 Nov 08
I state my opinion, generally in blunt fashion, and check back later to see if the discussion is continuing. I don't name call, except on a few occasions, but I will stand my ground.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
14 Nov 08
I pretty much stand my ground too, and I really don't like to see arguments from people who think everybody else needs to bow down to their view. I ask people to tolerate, not condone which more or less means they just have to let something be, they don't have to be 'part' of it.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Nov 08
I just wrote a long statement on all of those comments below but the fact of the matter is if "mylot" is going to allow any user to say and do what they want as far as comments then who is policing "mylot"? How can avatar 1 say something off the wall and when avatar 2 comments on what was said but includes shooting down the person he or she gets their feelings hurt and then wants to report the person for harsh language or name calling but at the same time "mylot" isn't reviewing what avatar 1 said in the first place? So to keep it real both should be in some trouble or removed from the site if it has to go there! Because comments people have made and that I saw deserve some harsh words to the person! This way it lets that avatar know that what you said deserved a verbal beat down and you are right mommyboo in saying that why can't you voice your opinion without direction to you but it demands that type of respons if statments are hurtful to the reader! "Mylot" shouldn't be a platform for racist comments to be excluded from being removed and the person being kicked off! What should have taken place was the person who feels hurt from what was said needs to report the initial statement and get them removed! But it's not like this website came with a a manual so the natural reaction for most people is to attack the person!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Nov 08
ryanbeasy123 This shall be my final comment/response having any connection to your friend Kyeedah1. Perhaps I should say number one friend as she is the first of your profile list of friends. I would like to say that I have never ever made an insulting racial slur to anyone neither here nor in my everyday life. I think my friends came to my defense because they were surprised at the vicious attack I was subject to. However you seem to disapprove of that action yet you are doing exactly the same thing. In your short time here on myLot you have responded to 6 discussions and 4 of them being from Kyeedah1. I will say that you, while defending her, seem to have a better grasp of the English language and communication skills than your friend. Although is still seems me to be a case of "the pot calling the kettle black" please to not take this to be a racial slur as it would not sound right if I had said green, purple or some other color! I shall end this fiasco by letting you know I shall be praying that my Lord God will remove the hatred and bigotry, she obviously feels for her fellow man, from her soul.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
21 Nov 08
There are some guidelines here at mylot that people are supposed to follow. Of course 'being respectful' does not always mean the same degree to everybody which is unfortunate. To ME, being respectful to other members here includes being clear and concise when you are discussing, not namecalling, not telling someone else they are WRONG, just that you may disagree with them, not harrassing or threatening or stalking people, etc. I guess the problem is that some people cannot read the 'tone' of posts, and some people are not good at getting sarcasm across via type. I have seen some horrific arguments erupt here in response to a post which was as sarcastic as a frozen turtle - but it was totally lost on the people who got angry. Anyway, the golden rule should apply here. If you do not want to be called racist, inflexible, prejudiced, discriminating, a bigot, among other things, then it is best not to call other people those things or TREAT others that way. Nobody is saying that someone has to CHANGE their view if they disagree, at least someone who is accepting of others here. I am just saying that if you don't agree, by all means don't, but that doesn't give you the right to stomp all over me. The way I see it, I do not naturally go about provoking people, but if someone provokes me, ON PURPOSE? I'm not just going to sit there and take it. I want someone to realize they made a bad decision in doing that. Bottom line, if (in your example) avatar 1 says something and avatar 2 does not agree, it doesn't mean it's ok for avatar 2 to go shooting off their mouth at avatar 1. Now if avatar 1 is the one to put up a nasty comment FIRST, then I agree, avatar 1 is out of line and avatar 2 could be responsible and civil and ignore it, responsible and civil and report it, or irresponsible and uncivil and rip avatar 1 a new one, followed by x number of other commentors who enter the fray in support of each.
• United States
21 Nov 08
Now mommyb I feel you on your comments but like you said to already, if you want to go there then people shall go there with you and the side line avatars get stuck in a middle of a name calling war! Of course this makes no sense and could be resolved better but if the next man or this case woman don't step back then this is what happens! Like I seem to always say, this is straight crazy and reporting people back in forth is so childish! So the wake is coming my way and I definitely can defend myself, no problem! Hence that's why I have the easy button as my avatar for you to see! I make everything easy and rebuttal should be my middle name because please ladies if I have to I can go there!
• United States
19 Nov 08
I definitely agree with you as for the first and only time in my life I was called a racist and I am anything but! I think it is an prime example of lack of intelligence in a person when they have to resort to name calling. It indicates that do not have the skills to debate and give their point of view.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
20 Nov 08
I think I know what thread that was, that went downhill fast. There are some folks who think anybody who didn't vote for Obama is racist, so I'm not sure what I can say about the whole thing. I got called a bigot for wanting equality and for prop 8 to fail. LOL! Wanting rights for everybody regardless of what group they belong to makes me a bigot?
• United States
21 Nov 08
No IMO it does not make you a bigot but the type of American our country needs.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
21 Nov 08
Thank you. I am always surprised when I get called a name, especially when I have seen the person who did so act decently in other discussions. Sometimes I think there are people here who may be bipolar and don't know it - nothing bad meant, just that they seem stable and all of a sudden go nuts in response to a completely innocent posting.
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
5 Dec 08
No I never call anybody names. I just write my opinion in their topic even if I differ from them. I believe in open democracy where everybody is free to say whatever he or she wants. I believe in freedom of expression as long as the people involved respect each other's opinion. © ronaldinu 2008
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
13 Dec 08
This site as far as countless others has proven that it takes a bigger person to accept a differing opinion without having a breakdown. I think that many people bring too many issues to the table when they post an opinion, and any perceived 'dislike' or 'disagreement' from another member gets their hackles up, sometimes enough to make insults fly. This is not mature nor decent, but as is well known, everybody has issues, everybody has baggage. What people need to do is not allow that to control them or their actions towards others, as much as they'd like to. I don't enjoy when someone else's opinion is blunt and rude and calls other people names, but they ARE entitled to the opinion, I just wish they could express it without being so rude.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
19 Nov 08
Yes, that is very true, mommyboo. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No ones opinion is better than anyone else's.. We all have a say so on any topic. I will not call someone a name, sometimes, I will just ignore their comment.. And leave no response to their comment..
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
20 Nov 08
There are definitely some people here at mylot who think their opinion is better than anybody else's and therefore THEY should get to decide how the standards everybody else has to live by are set. Most of these people think that those who disagree with them are wrong and that the only way they could possibly be 'right' is to change their opinion so it matches. The only person mine is better to is ME, and I constantly say that! I don't tell people mine is right, only right for me. Nobody else can tell me my decisions are not right for me, shame on them lol. When they've lived MY life for 34 years, then they can talk
• United States
19 Nov 08
I believe that each and every person has a right to their own viewpoint. We don't have to agree here but we do have to respect other peoples viewpoint.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
20 Nov 08
Exactly. I believe that too. Where I draw the line though is someone trying to force their viewpoint on me. We are free to have different views and opinions, what is not right is for another person to say since theirs is 'right', they should get to make or enlist help to make a law that violates MY right, because mine is opposite of theirs and theirs is right so mine is 'wrong'. Ha ha ha... that really gets under my skin because I'm tired of pushy groups of people who do things like this. I embrace their right to choose what THEY want, but not to make anybody else choose or act the same.