Different methods of forgiving others--which is yours?

India
November 25, 2008 4:32am CST
I have observed different methods people have of forgiving others. To reserve a place for themselves in heaven -- People forgive for purely religious reasons...because it is "good" to forgive others and "bad" not to forgive. So, they force themselves to forgive others and suppress all negative feelings about the other that arise thereafter. As an ego booster --- If you read in the papers that some great religious figure has "forgiven" some offense, then you can sure that this is an ego booster, a sympathy seeker, or a fund raiser. An elephant doesn't need a bell around its neck to announce its arrival; everybody can see it. So if you are such a great person, why must you publicize your forgiving nature? Simply forgive and keep it to yourself. Because they love themselves ... People forgive because they love themselves. They know they are only hurting themselves and not the offender by not forgiving. Religion and God have nothing to do with it. They just forgive and move on with life because it is most sensible to forgive. Do you know any other methods of forgiving? Which one is yours? Mine is the last mentioned. :) Cheers and happy mylotting
1 person likes this
12 responses
@munhozmib (3729)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
26 Nov 08
Hello. People forgive for different reasons. I do not think that the number of methods can be counted. People will forgive if they see that, with that, they can get some kind of return. For example, if you forgive somebody with the intention of becoming friends with this person and, later, benefiting yourself. True forgiveness only comes in a way. Straight from the heart. True forgiveness involves no God, no religion, no money. It is all about pure love, the greatest feeling. They true forgiveness comes when the person knows that everybody makes mistakes, and, no matter what was the mistake, the person who committed it is regretting their actions. Forgiving is a good action. Though it might not be the best for you. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11842)
2 Dec 08
I'm not sure that I make a conscious decision to forgive. I try to forget about bad things, because if I didn't then they would keep nagging at me. It's a pretty selfish choice, looked at like that! But truthful!
• India
7 Dec 08
LOL!! That's a great way to "forgive" too!! Cheers and happy mylotting
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
25 Nov 08
Hi positiveminded, Thank you for an excellent discussion. I agree with you, many people don't realize the reason behind forgiveness, it is as you for our own benefit and not for others. It is true as well that it has nothing to do with religion, as many think. While Jesus Christ and other great teachers talked about the importance of forgiveness, their followers misunderstood their meaning. Of course it is very important to forgive and it really doesn't matter about your reason for doing so, just be sure that you are not harbouring a grudge that will eat away at you and make you ill. Blessings.
• India
26 Nov 08
You are right, Pose... thanks for the response.
• India
26 Nov 08
Hi positive, it feels so nice to know that my views on forgiveness are same as yours but the reasons not the same. I forgive not because I love myself, rather coz I know I am weak inside. In moments of crisis I am neither articulate nor have a quick presence of mind. I just cant say what needs to be said at that particular moment to redeem myself. Hence I allow myself to be hurt and walk away battered. In hindsight I keep on rewinding the incident and then I would fall sick! So gradually over the years, I evolved a system of forgiving and forgetting and moving on…I feel it gives me a lot of peace.
@etranger (126)
• India
26 Nov 08
God loves who forgive others .we have to forgive others alwas .But some mistakes are there for which we cannot forgive,in such case we have to stop contacting them if they say hai we also say hai thahts all no more talk.I always use to put this on God,i say God will see and he will decide what is wrong and what is right.This is my best act.
@intanayu (56)
• Indonesia
26 Nov 08
Any others methods of forgiving namely with us also realize that the man who did not escape from sin.So,we must to give sorry the people an apology on our!
• India
26 Nov 08
I try to talk with the person if some misunderstanding has happen. I try to convince him if it is wrong. Still he sticks with his attitude of ego then I just leave for him so that he can come back anytime when he is fine. Many time we may fail just because people dosent change their character
• Philippines
26 Nov 08
For me I forgive but never forget, it's really hard to forgive to a person who did really bad to you, I just gonna pray for him and for me and hope someday my hatred of that person will gone.
• United States
26 Nov 08
i would have to agree with you bout your menthod of forgiving. you brought up some nice points about how not forgiving only hurts yourself and not the other party. i hope to see more intellectual posts from you :)
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
25 Nov 08
Hey positiveminded~I am not always so willing to forgive and forget. It depends on how badly I have been wronged. I have had people do some really bad things to me in the past and have eventually forgiven them even though they didn't deserve to ever be forgiven. The reason was because it was easier to forgive them then to continue to feel the anger. But I never forgot what they did! I had a friend of 45 years that I had warned many times to change her attitude towards me and she just kept on her abusive ways and I finally cut her out of my life. I will not forgive her. I have in the past over and over, but now I am through. There is nothing she can do to change my mind again. Sometimes you just have to move on and that means giving up and letting go.
@subha12 (18462)
• India
25 Nov 08
I am no great personality. so I am little bit hard in this regard. it is not always possible to forgive the people. If it is not so much deep hurt, i may forgive just taking away the problem from mind.
@mobhomeir (7567)
• Philippines
25 Nov 08
me just simple..FORGIVE and FORGET...if it doesnt need to let evrybody knows so why announced it..you're right EGO BOOSTER....for me whatever offense someone did to you if you sincerely forgive him/her then be ready to FORGET all what he/she had done to you, sincerely and seriously...learn to forgive so that you will be forgiven also..