Talking it out.
By Sheepie
@Sheepie (3112)
United States
December 9, 2008 7:58pm CST
You may or may not remember the discussion I wrote about my enemy. Well, in short, my enemy is just one of those "mean girls" in my high school. She's always kind of been someone who I would definately avoid since 6th grade. But this year we have gym class together, which is the perfect opportunity to come up to me and act like a real turd.
She has two "followers" who don't bug me unless she's around, which I find odd. I'm not afraid of her, but she definately wants me to get really ticked off so maybe I'll make a wrong move and we'll fight. I don't want to fight. It would make me look bad. I'm going to be a psychologist when I grow up. I don't need to be getting into trouble. It's not worth it. Plus, what if I lose?
Lose or win, it would be humiliating, teenage boys get off to girls fighting. Uh, no. I would tolerate her, but it's just that she saw me hug someone in the lunchroom and decided to bug her too, just for being my friend. Anyone she knows is my friend, she bothers. I can take it, but why should my friends suffer? Plus, she and her friend made fun of my mom because she's a little cross-eyed.
She's proud that she's a sl*t, and she's said it herself. She's going to amount to nothing. I have a life to live, and I really don't care what she says, but this could really only get bigger, so I told the guidance counselor and chose to have me, the administrator, and the enemy meet and try to talk it out. I'm thinking about what is going to happen.
She could lie and say she wasn't doing anything.
She could.. pretend to resolve things and go back at it again
She could.. become my friend, or at least tolerable acquaintance,
She could... well, I don't know. I probably am too optimistic that anything will get solved because I watch a lot of Dr Phil. But I plan to be open minded and talk like an adult. Whatever she chooses to do, fine.
2 people like this
10 responses
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
10 Dec 08
Hi Sheepie,
Why don't you ask her straight out why she is being nasty to you and try and talk to her, I think she is very unhappy person, sthere is something wrong in her life that is why she behaves the way she does, maybe just smile at evrytime she is nasty to you, that will just make her mad.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@Sheepie (3112)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I think the chances of her of actually taking me seriously are low, but will be higher if I can get to talk to her with the administrator there. Sometimes I just laugh when she's talking to me though, and she gets confused. I don't think she likes it when I look happy.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I do have to agree with fwid. Dr. Phil is to nasty and has self centered thoughts. He is resentful of others that really made something of theri life and in essence an unhappy person.
He is rude and with very litte proper training in the field. He got his noteriety through the media and tv.
In the field of psychology you need to find a famous if not rightous person to look up to. I really wouldn't listen to Dr. Phils advice for the most part.
1 person likes this
@aprilsue00 (1991)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I had girls like that when I was in high school. I would usually ignore them. It wasn't even worth my time to reply back to them. If you look at the big picture that girl is not going to effect the adult you want to become unless you let her. I think you did the right thinkg by going to the guidence counseler. At least that way you can get things out in the open. It will probably make her mad though. But you should be happy because you are being the bigger person.
@Sheepie (3112)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I mostly want to get a better understanding of what makes her think she is better than me. I want to see who she is. She actually looks like a really nice person when she's not talking to me. But for some reason she's not. But I plan to make it clear that my feelings are definately not being hurt.
1 person likes this
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
11 Dec 08
I hope the meeting with the counsellor and enemy has happened and that it was successful, Sheepie. It would be good if you could become 'tolerable acquaintances' - if she'd just stay out of your face and ignore you, that would be far preferable. If the meeting doesn't work out, at least the counsellor would have seen what was happening and will be aware of the problem. Good luck!
@medney1988 (560)
• United States
10 Dec 08
do you realize that you're making her happy by posting this on mylot?? no matter what your reaction is...good or bad its a reaction to her. she likes the fact that she's under her skin. she doesn't care what you think about her its the fact that you're thinking about her. yo uliterally have to pretend like you dont see her. dont let her know that you dont like her. she feeds off of that. eventually she wont get any fun out of messing with you because she wont get a reaction. trust me...as someone who was made fun of all throughout middle and high school i know how to do deal with them.
@Sheepie (3112)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I really can't ignore her, because she gets up in my face. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have any fun trying to get at me, because if she didn't she wouldn't be moving on to my friends.
Plus, I plan on hearing her side of the story, and trying to make her question what she's really thinking. I know she's just jealous or something like that, but I want to hear what she thinks.
1 person likes this
@hildas (3031)
•
11 Dec 08
Sheepie I am sorry this girl is picking on you a lot. I bet deep down she actually is jealous of you.
I had exactly the same problem at primary School. There was one girl that acted tough and always picked on someone. No one ever stood up to her. She did her rounds and then it was my turn.
We went on a School vacation to London and she started on me and what I was wearing. The teachers picked up on it and knew she was trouble. Well one night at dinner she started again on me and I got up and smacked her right in the nose.
I hardly got a telling of either. The teachers just spoke to me about that it was wrong and that was that. I think deep down inside she had that coming to her for years.
She never picked on anyone after that again at School. I know what I did was wrong but I could not help myself.
I think this girl that you are having trouble with needs bringing down a peg or two. She really is a bully. Ignoring her might work but she would just move on and annoy some other poor girl.
I would tell a teacher in confidence about her. Chances are the school might know she is like this anyway. At least if you have told someone and end up loosing your temper with her the School will see why even though it is wrong.
For now just ignore her or something or find her week spot and embarress her or something but I really would tell someone about her as she is a Bully and needs sorting out. Get a friend to say she has been picking on them also. The more the better. This might make her think a bit if the School speaks to her about it all.
@Sheepie (3112)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Well, I'm pretty sure she's not really happy, because almost everything I do makes her stare at me as though I should actually be concerned that she finds me strange. I did talk to the vice principal today, and now she's suspended. I feel kind of like a tattletale, as though that's something to be ashamed of, but then again, she sure isn't happy that she's suspended, and this pleases me.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
10 Dec 08
This action is wonderful and shows you are more mature than your "aquantance". I knew girls like this in school, they bullied anyone that they could and it made them feel good. The other girls are followers, no the initiators of anything. They are just wanting to stay in the graces of the other girl for whatever reason, that is why you only see the meaness from them when she is around them.
I doubt the meeting will do any good, they usually don't or may for a short time.
The girl may fool us and actually act her age instead of her IQ.
I would let it be know that you are in school the enrich your studies and your life for your future. That having friends is a nice thing and in many cases necessary. But that your studies and the outcome are your main goals, if you happen to make some really good friends that will be around throughout your life that would enrich your life even more.
Also make sure that the way your friends are being treated is not to be tolerated. I do so much hope your meeting goes well. Good luck in bringing out the "goodness" of the other girl.
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I hope it turns out well. I wish we'd had resolution tools like that in my day because I had the same thing with a whole gang of people.
Remember, Dr. Phil is dealing with adults. You and that girl are children, for all intents and purposes--very little experience to draw on and make decisions with. You are capable of decisions, your "enemy" has the maturity of a third grader.
And remember, a scientific study has proven that bullies' pleasure centers react strongly when they are making someone suffer, or think they are. This little *itch could very well by psychologically and physically addicted to making you miserable.
I hope you'll let us know how it comes out and how she acts afterward. There are laws against bullying and I would check those of your state before you go into mediation. Arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can so that they can't go all soft on her and screw you over!
@celin777 (31)
• United Arab Emirates
10 Dec 08
Hi,
I have been through a similar situation in high school and the experience has left scars in my heart that still affect my dealings even with my best friends. My advice to you is that you should spend time with your good friends outside school, at places where she won't turn up and spend more time with them talking on the phoine or eating out or doing homework together. Build up happy experiences with your good friends so that you wll be more satisfied in your heart and think less of the negative experience of this other friend. As for her bothering your friends, that is intolerable because you have a right to have friends just as she does. When you are with your friends in school, stay away from this girl and her gang and just ignore her by keeping quiet if she comes your way.
@Elvali (68)
• China
10 Dec 08
Maybe you're right to talk it out and find out what the real problem is.If she is indeed this kind of "mean girl",and intends to do this untolerable things to you and your friends continually,you must take action to show your anger on her and tell her don't do that presuming things again.You plan to be open-minded and talk like an adult,but it doesn't mean you should bear all the bad things she did to you.But you can reslove it in your own way.That depends on you.Good luck,friend!
