Do you understand people that hate their parents?

United States
December 16, 2008 7:29pm CST
We've all been taught that parents brought us to life and we should always love and respect and care for them but there are some folks that um,don't like them... I usually feel saddened and curious why this happened but hey,maybe they,like Eminem,have their reasons! What is your opinion on this matter and if you're not fond of your old folks,why is that? I must admit that I do get frustrated with my Mom and Dad but they are the only ones I've got. Of course,they have their shortcomings but more often than not we take after them and that's the main reason we get annoyed lol
11 people like this
25 responses
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
17 Dec 08
AnakSuNamun, Yes, I understand completely why some people hate their' parents. You were obviously one of the lucky ones but some of us were not so fortunate. Some of us were born into homes where children were not really wanted and were horribly abused. Some people should not be allowed to have children. It has taken me my entire life to learn to forgive my parents. I don't hate them anymore but I don't associate with then much either. I live as far away as possible from them. They live in one country and I live in another and that is close enough for me. I don't allow my children to be around them because I won't allow them to treat my children badly. A person has to choose to be a good parent. Some of us drew the short stick and got parents who chose to be cruel.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Dec 08
I know that,thank you for your response. I'm glad you were to able to forgive but some distance is always helpful.
• United States
17 Dec 08
Yes, actually, I do. People in my family are very abusive, both verbally and physically. My father left my mother and me. I was raised by my grandmother mostly. My mother worked a lot and her boyfriend is the biggest @$$hole I have ever known. If my mother's boyfriend wants to ruin peoples lives, he will do so, he is that big of a jerk. I completely understand why people hate their parents, just look at what their parents do. My cousin's mother used to slap her over the head all of the time and call her a brat. At first, I thought that that was just what some parents do, but as I got older, I knew otherwise. She called social services on her mother and father when she got to high school, and she hates her mom, but at the same time, it seems like she is still controlled by her parents because of what they can give her, which is money. Money, sadly, is the life-blood of my family. It corrupts them, and the people of my family become slaves to it. Honestly, I think that the world would be better without it, but money, technology, religion, and politics are what control our society. You want to know why children hate their parents, you have your answer.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Dec 08
I'm sorry to hear about that. Also,loneliness is one of the things that run the society. You don't need anyone when you are young and strong and able to provide for yourself but come old age you want someone to rely on. That's when abusive or simply bad parents start understanding their kids.
• United States
17 Dec 08
My parents always gave me the impressio Iwas in the way. By the time I started kindergarten, my brother and sister were away at college, so I really didn't fit in with the family, and they never let me forget it. I ran away at age 15, and never went back. I tried to be in touch a few times over the years, but it was really a disaster. I haven't seen or spoken with any blood relative in more than 20 years, and that's definitely a huge contributor to my happiness. Nobody should hang around where they're not wanted, or where they receive even menta and verbal abuse.
1 person likes this
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
17 Dec 08
I am so sorry to hear that you had such an experience Cobra. Sadly, such a thing should never have happened to you. I absolutely agree with you that if someone is treating you badly or without respect, it is better to move on and find others who treat you as you should be treated. It sounds to me like you have been able to do that and have people around you today who support you. I believe that you can not change what happens to you in your life but you can change you attitude towards it. May you be happy with your chosen friends and family of today. Take care
• United States
17 Dec 08
Thank you for understanding. I couldn't help thinking I was the one in the wrong, since there were so many people going against me. To b perfectly honest, although the depression that dogs me is chemical in nature, it's nowhere as bad as it was before. I love life for the first time ever!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
I am sorry about you too,Cobra. Where did you go when you ran away? You still don't communicate with them? People get lonely when they grow old and I suspect you might hear from your parents soon.
1 person likes this
@ladynetz (968)
• Canada
20 Dec 08
My mom was always angry at me, and it did not matter how much I helped around and keep my mouth shut. I guess it was because she had me at a very young age and felt I'm responsible for taking away her freedom. I had lots of moments when I would rather be homeless than going back to har. My father was a nice man, but never at home.Work was more important.And when I was with him, never, ever came to my head to complain abouth mom. As you say, I was brought up in a culture that sis you have to honour and respect your parents not matter what. So, I guess, I just took my time to grow and leave the house. Once out, I barely kept in touch.But I'm all the time polite and respectful.Parents are parents.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
Yeah,that's one of the reasons I'm against having kids very early. Young people often don't know what they want and find it very difficult to finish college or even go out with a baby.
@o_utsider (372)
• China
18 Dec 08
Just generation gap.There is a generation gap between you and your old folks.When you are older,you will be understand.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
True. I can understand them now even though I'm not old.
• United States
17 Dec 08
I think hate is such a strong strong word! I love my mom to the moon and back but my dad hasnt ever hardly been there but when it was at his own convience i dont hate my dad but its really hard to love someone that has just forgotten you exist. no i dont hate him but i dont think i love him either! but lots of people have different reasons like negelance and abuse and things like that. and some people its because they would not except the person they loved or things like that every one has different reasons for everything but i dont think that anyone should hate!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
You are just indifferent to him,that's what you mean?
@checapricorn (16076)
• United States
17 Dec 08
[i]Hi Anak, I am very blessed to have a very wonderful parents and I am thankful for that... I will not judge for some people who hate their parents, I know they have their reasons and whatever are those reason, it is something very heavy... My good friend hates her Mom...Her Mom works far when she was growing up and they didn't spend a lot of time together and when she finished COllege, her Mom decided to just quit her job away and live with the family and she never showed to her Mom that she cares![/i]
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
My sister had to move to another city when her son was still young. But she did care for him and came back as soon as she could.
• United States
17 Dec 08
yes parents do bring you into this world, but any nut job can get pregnant. just because you bring a kid into the world, doesn't mean your a fit parent or even make the right choices for your kids.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
Yep,people have to be mature enough to be parents
• United States
17 Dec 08
when I was in my country i once hated my father, why? coz he always drunk and if we talked to him and give advice he shout at us. When his not drunk we told him what he did when the time his drunk and he don't believe us and said that if ever he did that it will not happend anymore and then he go out and buy another drink. He was always fell down and bang his head in the flour at midnight and we all woke up from sleep and so disturbing coz we have work the following day. Now that i am here in the USA my sister email me and said my father is still always drink so much and I am thankful that i don't problem that anymore and now that i am here i already missed him so much and sometimes i called him and talk to him give advice and my hatred is gone already and of course i love him so much still.
• India
17 Dec 08
Yes I do coz am I one such person who, lets say, does not agree with most of what my parents did and how they brought me up. Hate is a very strong word and its kind of final so I do not like using that word. However, I have a huge huge issue over the way my mom brought me up. At 36 and being a mom myself, I can understand some of her issues, even then I feel she could have done better in trying to understand her only child and not imposing herself on me everytime for every thing. I also have a huge issue against dad for not taking any interest in my upbringing, his idea being that my mom was there for me so he was free to concentrate on his business. I am their only child. Yes, they are the only folks I have and I cant sever my ties with them and cant hate them either, but as I said, I hold lot of grudges against them. Yes, you are correct when you say that we take after them but just because I remember my own sufferings, I take extra care with my son.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
Wise choice
@Sreekala (12535)
• India
17 Dec 08
I don't know how they can hate their parents. But one thing is sure, there must be some reasons for the same, either it is a real problem or it is a misunderstanding. There must be some disagreements in between them and I think 'hate their parents', is a rare case. We should respect and take care of our parents.
• United States
20 Dec 08
That's how I think
• Philippines
17 Dec 08
yes i do. because all people are different. Maybe that person only hates his/her parents because both parties can't handle their differences.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
True
• Italy
17 Dec 08
They are mentally sick and remember that one day they also have to be old, to be a parent what will be their feelings when their child say "we hate you". Parents are soo precious its our moral and religious duty to take good care of them.
• United States
20 Dec 08
That's your side of the coin but take your look at the people who described ways in which their parents abused or hurt them. I guess we would have to remember a good old rule "Don't treat anyone the way you don't want to be treated"
@kiran8 (12901)
• Mangalore, India
17 Dec 08
I agree with your views and i too feel bad to see older people being ill treated and traumatised by their own children and family.I too have arguments with my mother and older aunts but that is part of life and one forgets these little things and moves on.it never come in the way of my love or feelings for my parents.I have the greatest regard, respect and love for my parents and grand parents and feel such agony each time they fall sick .the fear of loosing them makes me feel even closer to them :)
• United States
20 Dec 08
Oh,that's right. As many young children,I used to have nightmares that my parents would die. I'm used to the thought now but I'm still hoping it will be a loooooong time!..
• Pakistan
17 Dec 08
Parents are indeed a blessing to many but sometimes a curse for others, you have to look at from both the perspectives. Parents are human being just like us and can do right and wrong, they are after all humans. Everyone goes to a phase of life that either strengthens the bond between parents and children or weakens them. Although many people do not understand how can someone hate their parents but the problem is that they aren't in the shoes of other people. Now if you read the news these days you see that there are a number of incidents where the child is physically and even sexually abused, not only that you have parent's getting convicted for attempt to murder or in case murder of their child. You are very lucky to have loving parents but not all the people are lucky, i love my parents too but let's just say my circle of friend's is quite vast and as they say you learn things from different perspectives. Hope this clears up your confusion :)
• United States
20 Dec 08
Thank you,a good response:)
@meow1988 (39)
• India
17 Dec 08
hmmm ...a new life on this earth is the best gift given by parents to us...and i think none of the gifts given by anyone can be as special as this life on earth...but hating parents can be for the time being..may be we may ignore our parents for some time but we cant hate them...and in the case of people who hate them may be they mst be going thru some phase or hardships with them..it varies from person to person and i totally agree with them...they hv their own feelings and we need to respect them
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
Yeah,most people sort of hate their parents when they are in that difficult teenage phase but then(hopefully) they get over it. Some people haven't been treated very well by their old folks and that's their right to dislike them.
• United States
17 Dec 08
well,children weren't asked to be born so parents can't expect a child to like them all the time.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
Makes sense,thank you!
• India
17 Dec 08
As parents are the one who look after us,who take care about us,who guides our future,and lots of things they do for us...We shoukd think that they are every thing for us...But,when they get older some type of emotions will create with in them,,,if they control such emotions then every thing will be fine..We should take care of them when they get older..and we must not loose them at any cost because they gave born to us...
• United States
20 Dec 08
That's right
@bellebads (741)
• Philippines
17 Dec 08
in my case i don't hate my parents and never will i ever be. maybe in some people there's a reason for them to hate their parents, one of these reasons maybe because they abandon them when they were still a baby. or maybe their parents were not able to send them to school instead they let their children work for them. a lot of possible reasons that would result with this issue, but whatever it is your parents will still be your parents and no one will be able to replace them.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
Exactly
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
17 Dec 08
I love my parents and they mean the world to me but there are times too that they just frustrates me and angers me. Nobody is perfect and there is also the thing called 'generation gap'. There are parents also who are just so bad with their children and there are children too who are just as determined to do what they want even if its not good for them. Differences. In order not to hate each other and to clear the air, one must find a common ground and talk it out but some just choose to let the animosity grow until they come to hate each other.
• United States
20 Dec 08
Yeah,remember how they used to say "Well,when I was younger,young people did this and didn't do that". Guess what,I catch myself saying that sometimes!...