At what age should you allow your daughter to have a boyfriend?

United States
December 18, 2008 5:39am CST
My daughter has gone boy crazy! She is arguing with me daily that she should be allowed to date boys, yet I disagree. I have noticed alot of parents have allowed their daughters to date already but Inever have been one to follow others.But this is what my daughter is always telling me.She is only 15 and I still think it is too young. Am I being to strict?At what age did you allow your children to date?Any advice will help.
4 people like this
26 responses
• United States
19 Dec 08
I think that 16 is a reasoable age to start dating just lay some ground rules. Let her know that it is ok to DATE more than one guy at a time but she has to let them know that it is only a date and if something more develops then she has to be upfront with the other guys.
1 person likes this
@fatsanta (84)
• United States
19 Dec 08
I think she should wait until college, because high school relationships can end either very short or doesn't work out at all. No you aren't being very strict but you should take some time to talk with your daughter.
1 person likes this
@bam001 (941)
• United States
18 Dec 08
I know that several people will disagree with me 100%, but I think both girls and boys should wait until they are at least 17 or 18 to go on one-on-one dates. I think hanging out with friends in a supervised environment is fine in the early teens, but being alone in a date environment requires a higher level of maturity that most teens don't have. I am not convinced that all 17 and 18 year olds have reached that level of maturity, but you have to start somewhere. To be perfectly honest, if I had my way, they would wait until they are 21 to date! :)
@piya84 (2591)
• India
18 Dec 08
hii,i think much more depends upon her maturity level..if she is able to choose good guys over bad once..if she is nt much delicate by mind dat her first break up wont bring her to nervous breakdown then i think u can allow her to date.
1 person likes this
@dralon (88)
• Zimbabwe
18 Dec 08
I think 15 is way too young. Raging hormones yes, but I think she needs to slow down. Just today my husband and i were discussing about our 20 year old son and his first girl friend he wants to introduce to us.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
18 Dec 08
Hi, I don't think that's the first girlfriend your son ever has. Unless I'm wrong. But usually guys don't really introduce every girl they liked to gone dating with, unless it's the girls persistence on being introduced or if he's serious about that one. Good luck to meeting this girl. Hope you won't make her run.. hahhaa.. she indeed would be very nervous then.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I was dating at 13 and he was 17. My Mom went nuts about it but I was determined to date him regardless. Looking back I wish I'd waited till I was older and spent a little more time being a kid but at the time all I wanted was to grow up. I don't think 15 is too young to start dating...like day dates, couples dating, school functions where it's chaperoned, stuff like that. I wouldn't go along with night dates or single dating yet and I'd definately sit down and have THE TALK with her before she set foot out of the house. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@Nhey16 (2519)
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
my daughter, just turned 12, is not yet interested with having boyfriend, maybe because she's younger than her classmates, and her classmates are always talking about boys and some of them already have boyfriends... I always have a heart to heart talk with my girl and give advises about having boyfriends, i told her, if possible that she should not entertain boys at the moment coz she's too young and im telling her that a lot of teens today misunderstood crushes and admirations to love... i just hope she would not be confused with these when she would admire some boys.
@regal_aeros (2606)
• Singapore
19 Dec 08
well... i totally understand where you are coming from and where your daughter is coming from. when i was 15, i thought i knew it all. My peers were dating and all. However, when they have a quarrel, ho ho, that's when the grades starts to fall too. i would say, don't tell her not to date. But ask her her expectations. Tell her what she is worth. In this way, she won't be dating any tom or harry. My mum used to tell me that guys my age mature slower than gals and are more immatured in handling some matters. She would also encourage me to study hard and get into a university. In this way, i'd get to meet the smart guys. She has also told me real life examples of woman marrying down and how they are suffering. I know at 15 no girl is thinking of marriage, but i'd say why waste time on men who you don't want to marry? Let's say i'm dating guy A now. And guy B comes along. And lo and behold, guy B is a better guy than guy A but he sees me with guy A and so he doesn't chase me. Hence, i won't know he likes me. SO i'm missing out on the good guys. something to that effect. another thing is, my mum would say just make friends. once you're with a guy and you break up with him, there is no way (or very unlikely) you guys are going to stay as friends. he might be a VERY good friend but not a good boyfriend. so why lose that friendship? if you guys stayed as friends, you would still have that friendship. well at 15, i didn't understand her and always felt she was too strict with me. but hey, now that i'm older, i'm quite thankful that i'm being spared those unnecessary heartaches. some might not agree with me, but hey i'm happy just making friends with everybody guy or gal and let nature take it's course.
• India
19 Dec 08
Your daughter is only 15 and you are absolutely right in not allowing your daughter to date at this age. This is her age to study and make good future for herself. Try to council and convince her because only denying her request might take her to revolt. Explain it to her the importance of making future and career in life and also that she can date and have fun in life later may be after 3-4 years from now. Give her examples and instances of the havoc of dating at an early age. I agree that most of the parents today spare their children to enjoy life but parental responsibilities go ahead of just enjoyment. we are answerable to our children if because of us they fall into some problem. So only fulfilling their demands is not our duty but to show them the right path is important. Be friendly to your child and even if he or she does not like your restrictions, explain the consequences. Otherwise when they grow up they are likely to blame you of not stopping them at that time.
@rajesha20 (209)
• India
19 Dec 08
it is always a difficult situation to handle and depends on each individual it is always safe to grow the daughter telling about the reality of life and i think it is best after they cross 18 it ia safe bcoz they know whats life and other relations also
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
i probably think it is not the age that we should talk about but the maturity of our daughter. if she can handle a relationship well at 16, then let her have a boyfriend at 16. as long as you have an open relationship with your daughter about anything, this topis would not be a problem discussing with her.
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
for me, finish her college first before dating or get hook into boyfriend-girlfriend relationship...i bet, this things are can mess up the studies of your child...although, your at her side every day but assurance are not really a proof if she's with her friends outside the house but it's not bad to talk with her the crushes issues but when getting into relationship its a big no no...
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
My preference would be that she have a boyfriend after she has finished school and more matured. That all the distractions to school and friends will now be over and she can live her life as a full time adult.
• Trinidad And Tobago
19 Dec 08
Hmm I think u shoule be around 16/17...any age earlier is too soon. In my opinion
@j47lee (742)
• Canada
18 Dec 08
15 is way too young...... but then kids these days have their own ideas... maybe when they are 19+... more mature..
• India
18 Dec 08
i think 18 is the perfect age for this thats when people tend to get matured
• United States
18 Dec 08
if u think shes mature enough then u shud allow her to date coz if shes not mature enough then she cud end up doin some really dumb things....Just remember ur her parent first n then her frnd. Do wat u think is best 4 her,Take decisions that r gud 4 her not the ones that might be bad 4 her ! Perform ur role as a gud parent!!
• Philippines
18 Dec 08
I don't have any children yet. If i will have a daughter, I will allow her at any age she wants as long she will tell me that she has a boyfriend.:) Don't be so tight with your child. Your child is like a soap. If you try to hold it tight, then the soap will slip away.:)
• United States
18 Dec 08
I think that they should not date till they are 16. They need to worry about school and when they date when they are too young that is all they really start to care about is BOYS!!
• Philippines
18 Dec 08
18 so that she could at least be a little more mature.