I disapprove

United States
December 28, 2008 1:28pm CST
Do your kids spend time with someone, like a grandparent or relative, that allows the kids to do things you disapprove of? I've had to stop letting my kids go to their grandparents house for awhile until hubby has a talk with them, which he hasn't gotten around to doing yet. The past few times my kids have gone over there, they come home hyper and crazy because they've been given caffeinated soda, which I don't allow. I don't allow any soda at all except on special occasions, and even then it's something non-caffeinated like Sprite. They've also apparently been watching the news at their grandparents house, which I think is inappropriate due to their age. The last time they came home from their grandparents, which was shortly after Thanksgiving, the first thing my 6 year old twins said to me was that a man was killed at Walmart (the guy who was trampled on Black Friday). My 6 year olds don't need to hear about murder and death from the news. Another time they took my kids to see a relative we don't speak to anymore and I don't want this relative around my kids. This is a very long story I won't get into. But I think I should be made aware of where my kids are going and who they may run into while I'm not around. It's all rather minor things, that only require us telling the in laws not to do it again. But due to my bad relationship with the in laws, I'm not allowed to speak to them for reasons like this (it could get ugly). Unfortunatly, as I said, hubby hasn't gotten around to having this discussion with them yet. Do you have a relative or friend who let's your child do things you disapprove of? Do you have any stories to share?
2 people like this
4 responses
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
30 Dec 08
Even before I get married to my hubby, I know some things like that you mentioned may happen, so what I did was to envelop us in a certain aura, that no one can touch my kids. ANd so in laws, always asked my permission first before they give anything to my kids. I remember when my first born was still a baby, we were still living with my in laws and the house was like open house for every one. SOme people even smoked inside the house, which is a no no for me, and so (even though my hubby can kill me) I put a no smoking sign in the door of the house. At first his in laws never liked for that attitude but now they like me. And another thing, we never leaved the kids to anyone except with my sister and mom (which I can control)
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I don't let my son be alone with my father because he is one of the most irresponsible people on the face of the planet. Not to mention a jerk and a drunk. The last time he was really alone with my son he was taking him for a ride in his truck out in the pasture and he decided he could make it under a branch on a tree. My son told him he would not fit, but he would not listen and went under anyway. Well, he tried to go under. He hit the branch and dented the top of the truck and the windshield basically shattered and my son was in the front seat. He was fine, but after that I don't let him be alone with him.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
2 Jan 09
The whole deal with leaving kids with family is the trust issue. You need to be able to trust family to do the right thing. My mother in law refused to sit my kids with a good grace...she said it was my Mum's job. She lived 5 minutes away, my mother was 3 hours away. Because I was the black sheep of the family, there were always issues with my girls being babysat by either set of grandparents...it was not so much the grand fathers but the grandmothers who were nasty. The things they would do were underhand and to call them on it would be to start a huge fight and so I was caught between a rock and a hard place.
• United States
2 Jan 09
You've got to be kidding, your mother in law thinks it's your mother's job to babysit her grandkids? That makes no sense at all. They're her grandkids too, not just your mother's. I'm looking forward to the days when my kids become parents and I get to spoil my grandkids rotten. I don't care if they're my daughter's kids or my son's kids, they're my grandbabies and I'll spend as much time with them as possible.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
2 Jan 09
She has passed now and she WAS quite weird. I think I may have brought out the worst in her for some reason because when I fell pregnant the second time she suggested I have an abortion. She succeeded over time in undermining her sons and my marriage so that when I could no longer take his physical and mental abuse and left him it was as if my girls and I ceased to exist for that family.
• United States
3 Jan 09
I am so sorry that you had to go through all that. I hope you're happy in your life now.
1 person likes this
@laglen (19782)
• United States
3 Jan 09
Not really, but I feel for you and I think you are doing the right thing. sometimes, I have to deprogram my daughter when she comes home from my brother's house. They have quite a but more money than me, she has to remember that we don't just take the plastic and hit the mall! Nothing compared to what you are going through. I am sorry you have such a bad relationship with the in laws. I am divorced and don't know what I would do with out his parents! They are God sends.
• United States
3 Jan 09
I think relatives like aunts and uncles are meant to spoil the kids, to a degree. But it shouldn't be to the point where she expects to get whatever she wants whenever she wants it. She has to recognize that there is a line drawn there.