If You Knew For A Fact Someone Was Lying, Would You Call Them On It?

United States
January 1, 2009 8:53pm CST
I know this one guy that lies every time he opens his mouth. I know for a fact that he's lying, and I've had a lot of opportunities to bust him, but I always bite my tongue. I don't want to bruise his ego, because his lies are all he has, but the lies get more ridiculous everyday, and he's starting to put people down and make them think his life is much better than theirs, but he's lying about his own life. What would you do?
5 people like this
24 responses
@noniefam (284)
• Indonesia
2 Jan 09
if i knew for a fact someone was lying to me .................. i will ask him/her why they lying to me but if someone special was lying to me , i will think again what should i do for the next , can i trust on him/her again?????
1 person likes this
@oldboy46 (2132)
• Australia
2 Jan 09
It is up to you of course what you do but generally I think that allowing someone to continually tell lies is doing them no favours. One of the problems is that the lies can get totally out of hand and possibly cause harm to others, even if that was not the intention. My partner knew someone who always told lies and sometimes they did cause trouble or problems for other people. Everyone in the district knew she was lying but nobody would say anything and in fact avoided this woman if they could although that was not always possible as we live ina very small town. However one day the woman went too far as far as my partner was concerned and she challenged her on what she has said. She told the woman not to bother phoning or calling around if she was going to continue to lie and recommended that she see a counsellor to help with the problem. The woman said she did not need help and then told my partner something which my partner knew was an outright lie, so she told the woman she would not talk to her again. At first the woman chose to ignore my partner so if she phoned and I answered the phone, my partner would refuse to talk to her. If my partner answered the phone she would be polite but brief and cut the conversation off. If the woman called around to our place my partner would ask the woman if she had been to see the counsellor. When the woman said no, my partner would say she didn't have the time to listen tos omeone who would not help themself. This went on for a long time until the woman realised she had no friends at all and that everyone would avoid her, she was not invited out anywhere etc. Then and only then did she contact my partner asking how she could contact the counsellor. She has been going to counselling for quite some time now and it is obviously working in her case. Yes she still does tell lies sometimes but now people challenge her about it and so she is learning. Most people are understanding if the lies did not affect them personally and they challenge her in a polite way so the woman undeerstands it is the lies they object to and not the woman herself. I think that bruising the ego can be avoided if handled properly. In the long run it will do the man a lot of good because I do not think that people want to have a conversation with someone who always tells lies. He will be much unhappier if he finds that people are avoiding him or he has no friends.
1 person likes this
• India
2 Jan 09
It depends really. Most of the time I am not bothered…if anybody lies their way around and people want to believe him then its not my call to point out the discrepancies. And then there are some who, as you say, have lies as their source of sustenance and it looks really cruel to expose them. But even if I had to, I would talk to that person individually so that s/he is not shamed in front of everybody. Other than that I love gossiping of course, and among friends we always had a good laugh at somebody’s lies and stories.
1 person likes this
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I would call him on it, if only to show him that I had no desire to be a part of his delusions. I hate people that lie. I try to be honest with people as much as possible. Yeah, I tell lies occasionally, but I usually tell them to protect people or to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Anyway, I would call him on it because I wouldn't want to support his little fantasy land and I especially wouldn't want to be a part of him putting people down and creating an illusion that he is better than everyone else. Yeah, it's all he has, but he needs to ditch the lies and learn what real life is like.
@rmehta (32)
• India
2 Jan 09
if a person like this, meets me i will do one thing out of these things- 1.I will say more bigger false statements than him. 2.i will try to take out the use of it.
1 person likes this
@sunil_008 (1270)
• India
2 Jan 09
well then let him be happy then. why you want to break his car when you know that your car is better than his. are you feeling jealous of him or what ?by makinf someone down isn't a good practice as far as i know.when you know you are better than him why you care about his words. if his words are hurting you then you can avoid him. but if hesnt lying about you then there is no point of letting him down with his approach to life.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 09
sometimes lying becomes inevitable. if the lying will do more good than bad, like if telling a lie would save someone's life, then i think it should be left as it is and should never be busted. but if the lie is said for lying's sake and is done ohh so frequently, then the lie should be busted right there and then. people like this guy should be made aware that lying is not a very good hobby and should not be done just to impress. if the person is a frequent liar, i think he wouldn't mind if you tell other people that he is lying because those people probably would know that he is one great liar, anyway. there. if the lie would do more good, it should be left alone. if it is just done for lying's sake, it should definitely be busted. :)
1 person likes this
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
I knew a pathological liar like that and he was good at it. However if you spent enough time around him you learned his exploits were unbelievable. I do not know if he believed them himself, the lies, but they say if you repeat a lie often enough people start to believe it. I do not know what motivates people like that. It is not like they are trying to squeeze out of an uncomfortable situation with a one-off fib, but it is like a obsessive-compulsive thing. Yes unfortunately I would eventually call him on it and probably lose the friendship. I figure a man is only as good as his word (and woman too) and if you cannot trust them to tell the truth what have you got.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 09
sometimes telling a lie becomes inevitable. if the lying does more good than bad, like if the lie would save a person's life then the lie should be kept as it is. but if the lying is done for lying's sake i think it should be busted right there and then. people like him who do things like this apparently are so used to this they wouldn't mind if you tell other people that they they are telling a lie. probably other people know that he's one great liar, anyway. so i think if the lie deserves to be busted, it should be. if the lie would benefit more people and wouldn't do any harm, then it is best kept as it is.
@Malinium (76)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I do but whats the use?? I be like "B**ch Stop Lying" If you call them out all they gonna do is lie again to cover up the lie you called them out on!I Say s**t like "If i believe that i'd go for fried icecream!"It dosen't always work but calling them out will make them shut up
@lazeebee (5468)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 09
I have a colleague like that; she loves to boast and exaggerate; almost 90% untrue. I guess I had enough, so one day, while we were with one of our consultants, she was happily boasting about a place she had been and how lousy it was. I asked her when was the last time she was there - she got stumped and said 10years ago. I zeroed in and told her that places and people changed a lot in so many years. She shut up . My consultant got the drift, and when my colleague started talking about another place, he asked her the same thing. Now she's very careful when I'm around! But I guess it didn't stop her from trying her stuff on others!
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I think it would really depend on what he is lying about. If it is something to boost his ego and it is not hurting anyone then I might let it slide. If he is upsetting people then I would make it known to him that I know he is lying and give him a chance to stop before ratting him out.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jan 09
I would definately let him know or anyone else for that matter, know that I caught them in a lie. I can't stand it when people lie, especially if they think that they can get away with it. If they lie about everything that is going on in their lives or about themselves how can you really know the real person inside?? And, how can you trust them?? Hopefully, if you let the person know that they are caught then they will start changing their ways and realize that you are friends with them for who they are not who they wish they were.
@regal_aeros (2606)
• Singapore
2 Jan 09
If he is lying to boost his ego and not really causing harm to anyone, i would just let him go on. What good does it do to me that i bust him. BUt when he starts to put people down, i'd just gently point out some of his lies. Perhaps that will get him back on track and not go overboard. I for one would not lie about my life. If it's good, i'd honestly not brag.. i might mention here and there but i won't brag. Who likes to know about how wonderful your life is. But if my life sucks, i will throw my own pity party. I won't invite others to that party because why suck people down into my problems when they have their own to feed on. And i would just shut my mouth about my life altogether in such cases...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 09
I'd set him on to him/her on the side to ensure that his ego would not be affected, and at the same time, I am not the one putting him/her down in front of other people. If he persists, I'd take slight jabs at him/her just to try and point out the lies in front of others just to show that it is something that one could not get away with. The other person may not like it, but its better that way than another person blowing the whistle and spreading it and making it an even bigger deal.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
2 Jan 09
My fiance and I know someone that's like that... well maybe not the putting people down part. He lies though, and it's an obsession almost. Now I think he could help it if he wanted to, and he has. It's part of him though, and I know how tough it is to change your mind on something, which I think is basically what any chronic liar needs to do. I would bite my tongue, you know he's lying and maybe you can get others to believe the same. It's risky territory doing that though, and it could cause you and him friendships.
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6767)
• Defiance, Ohio
4 Jan 09
Yes, I would call him on it. People who lie like that think they sare smarter than other peopel. I have someoen I knwo that does that. She lies so much that she can't remember the lie she says. It drives me nuts. She wants people to feel sorry for her.
• United States
3 Jan 09
yea,i mean lies hurt people and it just makes him look like a big jerk. if he is your friend which you didnt say, then yea. you dont have to blurt it out in front of people but you could just pull him aside and say hey why are you making this up. it could be too that maybe he is having some sort of problem and lying about things making them sound good is his way of avoiding whatever it is. if you think you should say something then do.
@vampgal (26)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I'd get him alone and tell him he needs to stop lying. If he doesn't stop just bust him,I would.
@rowantree (1190)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I hate to say this, but in the long run, someone has to bust him. I had a so called friend who constantly lied about everything and anything. I bit my tongue because I felt sorry for her. It ended up hurting me, because when I finally called her on a big lie that involved me, she really turned on me and lied to all of our friends, who I haven't heard from since. I really wish that I would have gently nudged her towards the truth when she was lying because I feel that would have helped her. Instead all I did was enable her lying habit.