Starter Wives--Why does this happen to so many women?

First, let me say how sorry I am that he would leave you after you sacrificed your own needs to see that his were met. While this has not happened to me, my shoulder has held up many a friend through the years who found themselves in the same position. I can only fathom a guess why this happens to so many women. From the outside looking in to the relationships that I have seem fall apart it seems that when a man reaches the point in his life where he can grasp success in his hands he senses a certain power in it and has this desire to share it with a woman who he feels is equally powerful in his eyes, which mind you are blinded by the very power he holds in his hands. When that happens, it seems as though they view the wife who supported them on their way up as somehow being weak because of their willingness to give up their own dreams so he could attain his. I'm not sure if there is an ounce of legitimacy to my insight or not, I can only speak from the things I have seen in happen to others. But it appears that the women I know who gave up their desires to fulfill the needs of their men are the ones who later found themselves ending up as starter wives. The ones who stayed true to their own dreams and refused to sacrifice them remained married even though the road was rockier on the way up. However those couples made the climb over that rocky terrain together and somehow managed to survive the journey.

Wow, you gave up everything just to be with him and to support him in his studies. You gave up your job and your doctorate degree and gave way to him. After all of those sacrifices he left when he finally got his success. I'm sorry to say this but it seems like he just used you to get to where he is right now. I have watched your story in movies and I never imagined that I will hear the same story from a real person. I don't know what else to say. You are a good person and I'm sure that God will give you the right man. Just pray and ask God for guidance. I'll pray for you, too.

I really wish I could tell you why guys are like that, but I don't know why. My husband and I are separated as well. He was happy with me paying the bills and him just doing what he wanted and when I said enough was enough, he was quick to leave. I don't know why they do that, but I do know that it makes me not want a man in my life. I would rather be single.

It happens to quite a few young wives. I'm wondering if you had an agreement with him to finish your schooling as soon as he was done with his? It takes 2 to tango, and if women are to be Equal with men they have to stick up for themselves. Granted your Husband is a $hit, but it was you who let him off the hook.

You may be a starter wife but why dont you be his finisher wife too. You supported him while he finished school. If not for you and your support he would not be where he is. Take claim to what he has now as well as what he will have in the future. Its part yours. Now I dont know about all the laws but I would see what a good lawyer has to say regarding this matter.

because divorce is legal in most Western countries, i think it's one of the factors why there are many starter wives. in my country, divorce is not allowed. so when couples get married, they have to make sure that it's for the right reasons. there's no way out of the marriage. you're stuck with that person for life. whatever problems come, couples have to overcome them. if divorce is allowed, it's so easy to give up on the marriage and find another partner.

I was married twice and both times supported us so that the husbands could kick back and party and have fun while pretending to look for work. Even if they worked the money mostly went to partying for themselves. I got the kids and they got the furniture and the lifestyle. Not that your situation is much better but I'd rather have contributed to someone doing better in life than what I obviously contributed to. ok lets both go strip and look in the mirror. Is the word "sucker" tatooed anywhere on either of us? Did you learn from this experience? I did...finally. I will never, ever ever do this for another man ever again. Hope you won't either.

Hi i think its not matter of husband & wife carrier .But its matter of understanding each other.If your husband thinks that he can do better than you & you dont have to do anything for that then its big mistake on his part . No one wants to sit down give up all the things Everybody wante to have some carrier & each person should understand other partner . Please sit down both & discuss how the matters can be solved .

It sounds very unfair situation.I am not a wife nor husband.But Whatever he did was not right.Even he was doing for some reason,he should have thought about the situation.If he is sitting on the throne of success by the help of your crown than he will not be able to hold that crown for long time.Everybody falls down more than one time.I will say he is totally stupid,he lost his love who was helping him in his career and caring his decision.I am really sorry about you.Even i am a man but i am not so lucky like your husband to get likey you wife and stupide to live you for stupid reason.

I had a friend that married a guy. He supposedly was in college to be a doctor. She supported him for however long it takes to be a doctor too. Long story short, he cheated on her with another woman and got a divorce. He tried to get back with her because he was broke. I always thought it was weird that she had two jobs and all he did was watch television. He was suppose to be a doctor but I don't think he ever became one. I hope not. I don't know if I would want a doctor that accepts so little responsibility. I guess it all depends on how you're raised. I'd take a bullet in the head before allowing a woman to support me.