What would you do?
By happymommy3
@happymommy3 (2012)
United States
January 26, 2009 8:33am CST
I'm a sahm and am online for part of my day and usually keep yahoo messenger on while I'm working. I'm not sure if you've ever experienced a window pop up to chat with someone you don't know, which is usaully spam. I usually report them as spam or just close the box.
Well that happend to me just the other day but the name looked familiar and the person asked me if I was from the US, and stated that she was a member of mylot. I than remembered deleting her from my yahoo messenger a while back because I was going through my list deleting people who I never really chatted with and she was one of them.
I'm sure she will see this discussion, and I mean no offense to her in any way, just wanted to ask what other people thought.
So I started to chat with her a bit and told her yes I was from the US and she asked me for a favor and asked if I could call her husband who is here, in another state, states away from where I live. She lives in the philippines and said her baby was sick. While we were chatting I opened mylot and looked for her and did find her and that she does live in the philippines.
I than told her that I wasn't sure I could help her because I didn't know who she was. She than told me God knows she's not lying and that her baby was really sick and she really needed to get ahold of her husband.
I asked her why she couldn't call him or have another friend or family member call him. She said she had tried to call him and the phone would just ring and he would never answer her calls. I told her he probably won't answer my call if he's not picking up the phone at all when she calls.
She than told me they had just got into a fight the week before so that's why he probably wasn't answering. She asked if I could atleast call and see if the phone would ring.
She gave me his name and phone and the babies name but I ended just telling her no again, that I was sorry but she would have to ask someone else.
After awhile I did feel kind of bad because I was thinking, what if her baby was really sick and she needed to get ahold of him, but than I'm sure she could have found someone else easily to do it.
Anyone who knows me knows I would do anything for someone who asks for money, food, clothes, etc. I think it's a little harder for me to help someone who is a total stranger and out of the blue online asks me to make a call to another stranger across the world who I also don't know.
What would you do? Would you have called for her or said no?
6 people like this
14 responses
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
26 Jan 09
Well I guess I would have been the one to get scammed if she was truly trying to scam someone.
Having had her on my yahoo list at sometime would mean I had trusted her to some degree or would not have added her.
After checking her profile here and seeing she was being truthful about where she was and such, I probably would have called but blocked my number AND did a reverse lookup of the number she wanted me to call to be certain of what the number went to.
Maybe I am too trusting, but I am a cautious one still
3 people like this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
27 Jan 09
My point here is that the OP said she remembers deleting the person from her chat list.
I have few people on my chat list that I know nothing about, so I would have to have had a connection and at least SOME trust in the girl to begin with or she wouldn't have been on my chat. I don't add people I have not had some connection with, some reason to chat. And the few that turned out to be people I didn't trust were memorable enough to make a lasting impression.
If it was a complete stranger, then in NO WAY would I ever do something like that. Even if she is a member here, I would not believe what is on the profile if I had no connection with her.
It [b]IS[b/] a shame to have to be so suspicious of everyone, and what they want from us.
2 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
You do have a point tammyr. Having her on my yahoo at one time or another means I should have trusted her to some degree. I do have a list though of some members, my referrals, that I help when they have questions so I have them on my yahoo messenger. I obviously don't know them all that well to have total trust in them but I try and be careful who I do add.
This person who asked for help did request me a while back to be on my messenger because we had talked a bit here on messenger and she wanted to exchange referral links. I was familiar with some of her discussions so I felt it was okay to add her. I eventually deleted her because we didn't converse much anymore on mylot or messenger so I was cleaning up my messenger deleting those who were not active and she was one of them.
So when her message popped up I did have to think a bit and remember who she was. I did look up the number she gave me and couldn't find any information so that was one reason why was a little unsure about calling for her.
Maybe if I would have conversed more with her in the past and built some kind of relationship with her to trust her enough to know she was telling the truth I might have done it for her. But I have only conversed with her about making money online so I never knew her that well.
I can understand your response. I also am too trusting, but to a point. Like you said, you still have to be cautious. Thanks so much for your response.
1 person likes this
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
Hi there Tammy,
As I was reading through the responses to this discussion I noticed that you are one of the very few people who said they would consider contacting the person for her. Quite frankly, I would like to believe I am the type person that looks for the good in all and that I too would've helped out but I'm not so sure.
Like you, I probably would do some research and make sure that everything added up/ I know there would still be some element of risk, but at least it did a little bit of research to see if there were obvious lies.
It does sadden me though that our world has come to such a place where we have to be suspicious of everyone and everything out there for fear that they are trying to Pull one over on us, it's too bad really.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
26 Jan 09
I would have said no too. There are just too many people out there looking to scam people. It does seem pretty random that she would ask you for that. Surely you aren't the only other person from the US that she knows. She could have found someone else I'm sure if it were really something wrong. If you still feel guilty you could do it but I wouldn't do it from your home phone. That way if it is some sort of scam they don't have your home phone number or information.
3 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I agree. I'm sure with all the other friends she has here on mylot from the US she can find another person. I don't really feel guilty but I did feel a little bad at first until thinking about it more and more than I started to think maybe it could be a scam. Thanks for responding.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
26 Jan 09
What would you do? Would you have called for her or said no?
maybe (though I doubt it) back in the day before Caller ID and whatnot I'd have considered it but these days HELL NO...sorry but the last thing I need is some scammer, perv or whatever finding otu where I live, my address, last name etc etc....Sure its an off chance that would happen but I have kids in my house and thats a chance I'm not willing to take ya know...Not to mention the fact that things like that are just far too fishy to me....
2 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Yep, that's exactly what I started to think after the feeling of wondering if I should have helped. You are absolutley right. You just never know who could be trying to get your information. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
if i dont recognize the name, i dont chat with them. i tell them i dont know them and i dont have time to chat (for me, time IS money!) if they continue to bother me, i block them. its a simple as that. i need to make money, i cant afford to idle
y chat.
2 people like this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Lol, you are right about that, time is money. I usually don't answer to someone I don't know either, especially on yahoo, it's always some kind of nasty messages or no telling. I answered to her because I had her on my messenger before. Thanks for taking the time to respond here and keep making that money!
1 person likes this
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
27 Jan 09
Why don't you expose her name here and find out once and for all if she's a scammer of not. Some people might know her here. Might know what kind of person she really is. Damn if you do, damn if you don't. It could be a scam but it could also be the ticket to prolong the life of her child. We can't be speculating just like that. She could really be a mother in distress. She has made mention of her sick child and she could be worse than a scammer to be using her child for her money laundering scheme. Could she be that sensitive?
Would you be doing the same even if the way she looked for her was the desperate of stupid thing to do. It's a judgment call for her. People who worry are people who cannot think straight and that includes sending you a private message in yahoo! That for her could be the only way.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Lol, you know I knew that was coming. I knew sooner or later someone would mention something about exposing her name. I'm not sure I'll do that though. You absolutely do make a good point though because she could be out there scamming others but I never thought of it that way or wanted to make a bigger thing out of it. But you could be right. Maybe I'll check her profile out since it's been awhile since I've visited her page and read her discussions but wasn't planning on making the situation bigger than it was. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Thanks but no thanks. I'll be okay with one less rating. I'm not trying to prove she is a scammer, that was never my intentions, I just simply wanted to ask what others thought about the situation and if they would help.
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
27 Jan 09
I'll rate you positive on all your discussions if you can prove to me that she's a scammer. Deal?
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I can fully understand how you're feeling. Common scams are run on yahoo. People peddling for money for education, work visa and what nots. I would have the same feelings as you did.
I would take the phone number and go to yellow book online and you can do a reverse look up of a number. This won't give you addresses, but it will tell you if it belongs to a person. It screams scam to me, but I'd still check it out.
Something similar was done to a yahoo friend of mine. A person she chatted with off and on for months and then, like this woman, said they needed a message passed through; however, it did a reverse billing to her phone number. So much down and so much a minute.
There is just too much out there that you don't know, an online "friend" can wait and plot for months before they strike and the poof, they're gone. Rarely to people keep the details they need to fully report the matter.
I'm a big fat no here. Too bad too. It's getting harder and harder to help people when you never know what you're going to get.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Yep, your absolutely right, scams are run on yahoo. I did try and do a reverse look up of the number but nothing came up so that made me think it might be a scam. Love your straight forward response, thanks.
1 person likes this
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
26 Jan 09
I would have done the same thing you did. There are too many people out there looking for someone to scam. And I have heard of scams that are done by somehow connecting to your phone line and racing up outrageous phone bills. You were smart to be safe rather than sorry. She can surely find someone to call him or she could send the police by his home to tell him if the baby is really sick.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Oh yeah, that's scary to get stuck in a scam like that. You are right, better safe than sorry! Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3571)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
That seems like an somewhat odd request to me.
Know that when you delete people from your yahoo messenger list, you will still remain on their list if they added you.
I would of felt bad afterwards too, if this request was made to me from someone I do not know.
It is likely that I would of done the exact same thing as you and in turn I wouldn't feel so bad that it would keep me up at night.
If the baby is so sick, the girl should take the baby to emergency at the hospital.
Explain to the doctor or another staff member and ask that they call the father.
At least that was it is a bit more official.
I think that if it were a matter of the babies health, the girl would have more sense to go through more legitimate channels than to IM a complete stranger online and ask that they make such a call.
I am sorry for all involved but I find something a tad bit array with this situation.
Do not feel bad. You did the right thing.
Regardless.
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
That is a good point. I forgot when you delete someone you still stay on their list. I agree, if the baby was that sick she would have gotten the baby some help and would have found a better avenue in getting ahold of her husband instead of going through a stranger. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
26 Jan 09
Sorry, but I would have done the same thing. I find it hard to imagine that she doesn't know anyone at all where she is at that could call for her. If the baby is that sick, it would probably need medical attention and I'd then wonder why the hospital wouldn't call. Also the baby may be sick but not that sick and the girl may be trying to use the baby being sick as a way to get in touch with the husband...it's terrible to do but ppl do it all the time. I just wouldn't get into the middle of it. I'm always a bit leery of ppl that ask total strangers to do personal favors for them...I just think there must surely be someone closer to them that they can ask.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND TRUST IN GOD**[/b]
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Yes, I agree, some people might go that far as to use their own children to lie to someone. I'm hoping this wasn't the case but you can never be too sure with a stranger. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I would have said no, plain and simple. It seems odd that she would ask a total stranger, and an online one no less, for help with her personal problems. It all sounds a little too fishy to me. I think you made the right decision. Better to be safe than sorry.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I agree, at first though I felt concerned since she brought the baby up, but than like you said, sounds odd to ask a total stranger for help for a personal problem when you'd think she could ask a friend or family member first.
Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
26 Jan 09
First of all, I don't use yahoo messenger for all of the spam that I received while using it. Especially the nasty, "hey stop by see my pics, type." Okay but that's another dilemma.
Second regarding the meat of your discussion, there are ways to block your number while you are calling someone, so I would use one of those features on my phone, and at least make an attempt. You didn't mention anything about a voicemail, so I'm not sure why if her husband is really in the US, that he wouldn't have a voicemail especially since he has left his family. It does sound like a very touching story, but it also sounds like a CON, for someone to be able to get your personal phone number. Once they obtain that information, who's to stop them from researching more information about you, like your address.
If I were you, I would change my messenger ID, and only give it out to the folks you do know. Then I would pray and ask God, that if this person really is telling the truth that the husband heart will be one of a forgiving one and call his family to see how they are doing, so that they will know what to do.
The other thing is, she didn't say that she needed money or at least you didn't mention it in your discussion here. There are more than one way of communicating. She could send him an email. A letter, or some other type of communication. A text message would work well. If they can afford the Internet in phillipines, I'm sure they could afford those other methods of communication.
It sounds a bit too fishy to me. I'm not the type of person to attempt to promote someone to be in a state of fear of the what if's or anything, but rather, I would caution you to be in a state of alertness and approaching the matter with the utmost of delicacy. Also, ask your spouse, about the matter, there is sound wisdom in the people we share our lives with, if we only would give the opportunity to speak into our personal situations.
I hope I've provided some viable solutions for you.
1 person likes this
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
Hi there mommy,
I am having a really hard time with this one. I want to tell you that I would've helped her and that I would've called the baby's father for her. I want to tell you that this is what I would do because I believe it's actually the right thing to do. But the real truth of the matter is , our society is such now that people we do not know can not just be accepted as being genuine.
While I want to believe in the good of all people, I am also a realist and the risk to me and my family would have been too high just as it was for you. Just as others have also said I would have suggested that she contact a local charity and ask for their assistance if there truly was no other person in the United States that she knew.
After that all you can do is send positive thoughts her way so that if what she's saying is true, perhaps she will be able to find help in her own community.
Yes, I believe we should extend a helping hand to another when they need it but not if it's gonna cause harm to myself or my family. I would have done the same thing you did. I'm sad to say it as I said because I want to believe that I would've helped, but I know I wouldn't have because the risk to my own personal safety would've been too great.
That's just my 2ยข worth and happy Mylotting! 
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Hi there wheel416. You are right, it does seem like the right thing to do, and it is just so sad how society is and we just don't know who to trust sometimes.
It's also sad how some people take advantage of the good in other people. Not saying this person was, but, obviously, just don't know. Thanks so much for your response and happy mylotting to you too!
1 person likes this
@soundfreak22nd (475)
• Malaysia
26 Jan 09
i'd say i'll think first for the first time because i barely know her. but if she were to convince me well and said that her baby was really sick and all, i'd say yes and try to help her. i'd only try once to call her husband and try to get through him and that's it. i'll go and tell whatever i have to tell. if possible i would try to stay away from their problem. well, it's hard for me to answer this though.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
It was very hard for me at first as well. It took me about 10 minutes or so chatting with her to make my decision and say no. I was close at first thinking I could block my number but I still was scared to do it, having that thought in the back of my mind that it could be a scam or something. If she were really being honest, being a mother and knowing your baby is really sick, you will do no matter what to get your baby help, so I'm sure she found a better option and got some help by now and got a hold of her husband.
Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@itsmine (104)
• United States
26 Jan 09
Yes. I will also behave like this only. If i dont know that person and he is asking help while doing chat means how i will do. The unknown person told me to call somebody from my mobile is very very dangerous.
See. In your case, she told when i was calling my husband, the ring was simply going. He did not attend. If you are calling the same number it will be happening. Then what is the use of calling. Anyway, make a call to unknown person from the mobile number is not good.
1 person likes this
@happymommy3 (2012)
• United States
27 Jan 09
I agree, making a call to an unknow person is not good. You just never know what you could be getting yourself in to. Thanks for your response.
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