Respecting your kids

Australia
January 28, 2009 3:25am CST
I have a 5 year old boy and as many 5 year olds he does not listen to me a lot. I was so sick and tired of repiting my self untill few months ago. When ever I said something to him he would say "sorry I am too busy" something that me and my husband say to him. One day I said ok but when you finish this can you do this for me please. To my suprise he said "sure" and few min later he did it. From then on thats what I do. I ask him if he is doing something (to kids playing or sorting their pencils is as important as cleaning or cooking for us) and then I say when you finish can you help mummy with this. My son has changed and so have I. I learned so much from this I now respect his time and him more and he does as well. He helps me do everything now and we are all happy. Do you respect your kids? What experiences can you share with us in this area?
2 people like this
5 responses
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
29 Jan 09
This is a very good discussion, violeta_va. I agree with you completely. Thanks for sharing it here with us. I will return with my experiences. I am drawing a blanket at the moment.
1 person likes this
• Australia
29 Jan 09
Thanks for that. I am soooooooooooo hot that I cant think right now I have to think so hard before I write its making me tired. It is 42C right now not even the air con is helping.
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7718)
• United States
29 Jan 09
This is a wonderful idea. I wish more parents parented like you. You should never exspect any person (kid/adult/what have you) to just obey without a little give and take. We need to teach kids how to interact in positive respectful relationship from the beginning of their lives. It's never to early (or late, if your a bit behind) to start.
1 person likes this
• Australia
29 Jan 09
I am starting to put my self in his position as of lately. I hate when someone sais to me do this and this and that NOW. So why should our kids like this. He is a big boy he is 5 and yes he has mild disability so we do have to treat him a bit different then other kids but with things he can do (which is 99.9%) why should he not do them. Ithink I have finaly grown up this year or maybe I just relaxed more with him because of the improvements he is making. I love my little man with all my heart and he deserves all the respect in the world with the progress he is making and trying so hard.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
28 Jan 09
you are right,i used to behave as a hard-master,i used to order them around like slaves,they used to become more rebellious.now that i have started treating them like an equal,things have improved drastically.
1 person likes this
• Australia
28 Jan 09
My slawership only lasted few months. Because of his health issues we didnt push him hard before it was ok if he didnt clean and all that but after the operation we started asking him to help more then went overseas for 3 months and all hell broke loose with everyone spoiling him. When we got back I started the old way and learned my lesson.
1 person likes this
@jammyt (2824)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
You know, just recently, I am getting stressed out with my two and 7 month old daughter. She's really way beyond her years and she has a knack of doing the opposite. You know, not listening and when I tell her that's not good, she'll say "GOOD" or if I tell her "that's not nice" she'll say "NICE", that sort of thing. Then a friend emailed me an article saying that when a kid throws a tantrum or does the opposite of what the parent wants, instead of getting mad, the parent should ask the child "Why". for example, "Why do you say it is nice?" or the parent should hug or listen to the child. It will eventually teach better communication for both the child and the parent plus compassion from the child. I tried it yesterday and wow! Big difference. I didn't get all hyped up saying "NO" and "Don't do that". Plus, my daughter was communicating well with me. I felt really happy.
1 person likes this
• Australia
28 Jan 09
We learn so much from our kids. Dont be to harsh on your little one she is so young and if that is her on the picture she is so cute how can you be angry at her look at that face.
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7755)
• Canada
28 Jan 09
violet_va, isn't it interesting that we have to learn the error of our ways from a 5-year old! What a wonderful story, and isn't it great to be on a level playing field with our children! And it all comes from respect! I would like to believe that my son and I have the greatest respect for each other, he is NEVER disrespectful to me, or vice-versa, and it makes for such a calm environment! Thank you for sharing! Cheers!
• Australia
28 Jan 09
Society tells us that kids should respect the parents but why should they. Respect is something we have to earn. I wanted things done my way when I wanted and he wasnt happy and why should he. We have both learned a great lesson.
1 person likes this