What's the best way of showing that your sorry?

@donsky14 (5964)
Philippines
January 28, 2009 5:50am CST
Hey guys, What's the best way of saying/showing that your sorry to your lover? I feel so guilty right now, I did something to hurt my boyfriend earlier...and I wasn't able to say sorry to him. I really want him to feel that I am sorry for the things that I said. So I hope you guys could help me out.
13 responses
@Yori88 (1468)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
The best way of saying you are sorry to your lover or partner is to say it from the heart and mean it. When I did something wrong with my husband I always say sorry and hold his arms. But when I feel that he is not ready yet to accept my apologies then I wait for few hours about 5 hours to 10 then I don't say the word "sorry" anymore but I just hold his arms again. Asking to forgive me, in that way. Then he is good enough that no matter how hard my sin is he forgives me and love me again. That is the same thing I do when he is the one at fault. And we never end a day without fixing or settling whatever we have argued on that day. And until now after more than a year of being together I could say that we don't have major fights or arguments because we have respect for each other and honesty is always on top. Communication is very important so that your relationship will lasts.
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
That is so true, we should never let the day end with an argument hanging in the air. And yes, action speaks louder than words.
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
A hug for me really is the best gesture of saying sorry.
@Yori88 (1468)
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
Thanks so much for choosing me as the one with the best response. I just felt very happy with your topic and I was carried away that I answered from the heart. That is the whole truth. And I wish that all lovers like us will do the same to have a good and lasting relationship. Foundation of a relationship is not always the one that determines the strength of a relationship but I think it is more on you and your partners attitude. You are so good by starting this discussion. Thanks again!
@France7 (387)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
Hi donsky! i think it is natural for us, women, to be domineering sometimes; however, it is not bad to ask for forgiveness from the person we hurt...on the other hand, it is not also easy to do this especially when we do not get positive reaction from the one we're sorry for...that's why it needs courage, love,and forgiveness when we need to humble down...good luck!^^
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
Yeah, that's so true...its really hard to say sorry sometimes, especially when your still in the "anger state".
@France7 (387)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
i totally agree haha! thus, we need to cool down as well in preparation for that. as they say, expect the unexpected as well...so let's say he's not ready to forgive you? what will you do?:)
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
Well, he actually always forgives me. lol! Were doing okay now actually. Thanks for all the advices guys!
• United States
28 Jan 09
Just remember he needs to hear you say it... But like the person above suggested your actions will also speak to his heart, a lack of action and verbalization means that there is no forgiveness and that your dominance supersedes all else, you can't have a loving relationship when you are pushing your love off into the arms of another person. We all need Love, and mistakes happen but if it is not a mistake and there is no love then what is a guy to do? I think it is a pretty simple formula, and it works... You can certainly remove the wedge from your relationship or you can drive that wedge in deeper. The best relationships know that communication is the key to throwing that wedge away and binding yourself with him in a way that you can never be parted. Even on a bad day...
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
Thank you for the advice TheGreatWhiteBuffalo.
• United States
28 Jan 09
YW, I see others have given similar advice...
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
Yeah, it just shows that apologizing in person is the best method of asking forgiveness.
@bbaychic (45)
• United States
28 Jan 09
Actions speak louder than words hun, give him a hug and snuggle your face into his chest. This will break the ice and open a space for you to talk comfortably without having to think about how to bring the hurtful memory back up again. Wait until he responds...something like bringing his arm around you or resting his cheek on your head. If the response is positive, then that is the time to say that you are sorry. Then tell him that you love him. Also ask if he can forgive you. Good luck hun, :) Hugs
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
Thanks bbaychic! His been so good to me, and I've been a total b!tch today...I really do hope things will be okay.
• United States
28 Jan 09
Everything should be fine. :) Maybe you are just PMSing...sometimes I can be a B! too and I'm usually forgiven right away when I get cramps. Tee hee! He doesn't like me to be in any kind of pain...aww. :P Best of luck
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
lol...yeah, I'm pretty moody when I'm about to have my period...its funny cause my friend was asking me earlier if I have my period. And I said NO, then she said: "There's definitely something wrong with you." lmao. But yeah, I'm more moody when my period is ABOUT to come rather than its there already.
@nansheeca (216)
• Philippines
4 Feb 09
i guess saying sorry is a good start and always be sincere if u have said it already. show him in every opportunity that u are sincere and wont hurt him anymore. but it really depends on how serious ur fault was. but of course, if he really loves you and trusts you enough, maybe a little peck on the cheeks would light him up and forget that you have done something to hurt him. and also to avoid situations like this , always think before you do something. ask yourself if he does this thing to me, what would i feel? have a nice day!
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
4 Feb 09
OMG...that's what he always do to me. "If he does this thing to me, what would you feel?" I mean, not in a saying sorry way. But in the...teach you a lesson way. I hate it when he does that to me...cause its so effective! lol
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
hey if its really effective then it only shows that your conscience's still intact..lol...just joking! i mean, we girls do find it hard to really consciously hurt our loved ones that is why we always consult our conscience before doing anything.
• Nepal
29 Jan 09
hi donsky, good and nice question.But sorry to say i don't have any experience how to express sorry to your b/f or g/f. I think if you love or he love you no need to say sorry.Silent speaks alot.no words to express as i think but your own way of express may be different. Try other friends suggestion will be good for you. Nice and loving day for you
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
30 Jan 09
thanks for the response newuser! You have a nice day too.
• Nepal
30 Jan 09
happy friday
• Goose Creek, South Carolina
2 Feb 09
Saying 'sorry' is good, but it means a lot more if you acknowledge what you did wrong. If it was something you said that hurt him, you should first tell him that you realize what you said; next, that you realize how hurtful it was to him; after that, tell him how badly you feel about hurting him; and lastly, you extend your apology to him. PS: Hugs make for great healing, but ask him if he'll let you hug him - some of my past boyfriends wouldn't even give me a second glance if they were especially mad at me. Asking for the hug shows that you respect the boundaries he's set while he's angry, and makes forgiveness a little easier. Also, in my experience, girls aren't the only ones who like to receive flowers. If you can afford it, a single white rose is a wonderful way to express your humility.
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
Yeah, thats kinda what I did charismaladyn...I gave him a letter. Then after he read it, I hugged him and said sorry. He just kissed me...and I know that his forgiven me.
1 person likes this
@France7 (387)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
In that case, you're definitely lucky donsky for having that man in your life who always tries to understand your mood swings:) not all men are like that...women neither hahaha! anyway, i'm glad to know that you've finally made things right. I wish you good luck!:)
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
I know...that's why whenever I cry during those fights, its because I feel so stupid hurting a guy who loves me and understands me. Thanks for the response France!
@umcane86 (65)
• United States
29 Jan 09
There is no best single way. The best advice I can give is to give him some time to brood and be upset for a day or two! Guys don't always respond to that immediate reaction of trying to apologize! Let him brood, and in some time, try to talk to him, sit him down and truly explain a full well thought out apology. Some home cooked cookies or some candy won't hurt either.
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
I'm actually the one whose like that umcane, I'm the one who doesn't respond to immediate reaction...his actually really understanding. He tries to like forget that his hurting so that we'd be okay.
@ktosea (2027)
• China
29 Jan 09
woo,I learned from the guys' responses above,some are just constructive and useful for me.good discussion happy Mylott,everyone
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
I'm glad you learned something as well!
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
I know sometimes saying the exact words like "I'm sorry" is awkward. If you can't just hug him tightly, hug him for 30 seconds or more then when you're comfortable that's the time you gently say sorry.
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
A hug definitely works!
• India
28 Jan 09
if you really wanna tell her sorry so say sorry from your heart. if she really loves you she knows your feelings.
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
His actually a he armanseikh. ... I trust that he loves me and I know he'll forgive me, its just that I feel so guilty with what I did.
• India
28 Jan 09
according to me direct face to face appolozise is the best way to show the person that you are feeling sorry and you want him to show all this if you will go to him and say it and sit in front of him untill and unless he says that its ok leave it trust me it works wonders. the best communication is to show it. enjoy mylotting and be happy trust me if you are happy the hole world will be in your feet.
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
I agree, its good to apologize personally then just by texting or something like that. I do plan on doing this tomorrow, as he is at work right now. Thanks for the advice anjalisharma_iipm.