LOVE, What it is?

@zandi458 (27954)
Malaysia
January 29, 2009 7:20am CST
In a scene of the stage and movie "Fiddler on the Roof", the hero Tevye on one occasion keeps nagging at his wife Golda, asking her whether she loves him or not. He keeps wanting her to say she does...but she is in no romantic mood and brushes him off, until finally she return to him and say "look at this man...look at you...I am your wife, I cook your meals, wash your clothes, raise half a dozen of children for you, my bed is yours, my time is yours, everything I have I share with you, and after all that, you want to know whether I love you? Oh, well, I guess I do...." Most grown up people don't go around telling people they love them. But they do tell this love by what they do to those people around them everyday. Unlike in the western culture, the word love is not an everyday vocabulary in this part of the world. These 'silent techniques' is appellant to most married couples . They have to be contented with life therein. Repetitive saying of this word 'love' renders it meaningless. But action speaks loud of the feelings for that person. Unlike the dating couples, a day without saying this word weakens the bones and hearts. What does love means to you anywhere?
4 people like this
29 responses
• Philippines
30 Jan 09
love is madness, did somebody say that already?
1 person likes this
@ShanLhey (165)
• Philippines
30 Jan 09
yes I agree with that. Sacrifice too.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Ah... no madness, you're the first I hear. It is beautiful indeed to be filled with love and to be in love......
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
ofcourse being in-love and loved is the most beautiful thing in the world. and even sacrifices are sweet when you do it for love.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (52377)
• Delhi, India
30 Jan 09
Zandi! What a marvelllous and pertinent post! Full marks to you! Your post has a great message for all those who are not aware what does 'love' actually mean for a husband and wife. Love is just not a word, it is a feeling of sharing and caring and you have best described it with the help of movie. I fully agree with you that when our wives take lot of care of ourselves and sacrifice their own pleausres and happiness for our (read husbands) sake, it is more than 'love'. We must respect our respective wives for their devotion and dedication towards us (i.e. husbands). My better half is perfect in taking care of myself and she does not leave any stone unturned to make me happy. It is another matter that when sometimes, I do not come up to her expectations, she says that I am doing everything for your and kids sake .............and you are YOU.........LOl!
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
No wonder you are always happy and smiling. You receive the best of love from your better half. Take good care of her for your will never again meet the best of the best. Yours is marriage made in heaven! The greatest source of happiness in life is a contented marriage with the right person, a peaceful home and lovely children to bless it.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (52377)
• Delhi, India
31 Jan 09
I believe that we do take of each other, despite occasional fights between us. Yes, marriages are made in heaven and soleminised on earth, I agree with you. Yes, I buy your argument that if a person is happy and contended in his marriage, there is nothing like that. Thanks for your every encouraging comments.
1 person likes this
@FLampard (395)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Love is just a word. A word that refers to the connection between individual. Love is just a reason for human to continue living. Love is at most.... a biological function.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Love to you sound so cold?
@oyenkai (4399)
• Philippines
30 Jan 09
Love from the Philippines! Our history can show you how rich romantic relationships are in our country. We still have such a thing as "courtship" - although many are becoming liberal and don't mind not entering into such stage of the relationship, but majority still consider it as vital. The girls let the interested party to show them how much they like them by pursuing them - dates, favors, gifts, and such. It's not a game but a tradition and some are reluctant to reveal that they are with their partners without having gone through that stage because they feel embarrassed to be out of the norm - although we do not discriminate such individuals. Love for us girls - who seem to be in the authority to discuss it since we're the ones being chased after, is revealed through words and deeds. Deeds are well but may be misinterpreted. Words are sweet but must be proven through deeds. Both are needed to make a relationship work. Tevye then seems to be in the right to ask his wife if she loves him. He fears that she stays with him only because she is tied to him as his wife, and wouldn't stay with him if given the option to leave. Or maybe he seeks the sweet words of confirmation. Even Catholic faith believe in the power of both words and deeds as discussed in a parable related by Christ: The father asked both of his sons to harvest the fields. The first son said no but went after careful consideration. The second son said yes but did not go to do as he said. Both committed misdeeds - although in varying gravity :) Still, wrong is wrong. How hard is it to say "I love you" when you've done so much already! I think it is but apt that one seals his loving deeds with a sweet proclamation :) Thanks for the response on my discussion!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
As what I understand the Filipinos are romantic people that is so much missing in our people here! . The hospitality they showed moves me so much so that I wish to visit your country again. So like the rising chords of a great organ, the course of love runs from companionship and courtship to the sacrament of marriage. And with marriage comes a new life. Love is crowned with marriage and marriage is made perfect when tiny hands are clutching at the heartstrings. This is but another step in our climb towards God!
@oyenkai (4399)
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
I guess it's because many Filipinas know that courtship is one of the things that they have full control over that they make it a point to relish it :P And the point that we're predominantly Christians makes marriage - and the steps taken towards it, a very important and once-in-a-lifetime (divorce is illegal here) experience so we better be careful :P
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Even tho I can count on my hand how many times in the 42 years I had with hubby that he said I love you. Its all the little things that really count . maybe just holding hands. a peck on cheek, a look all of this can tell you that they love you. and you love them!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Some people does not say much but their actions show that they care and love the person. Yours lasted to the end lakota.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
30 Jan 09
and beyound as I know he is stillwith me in spirit! Lots of times I feel him around me!
1 person likes this
@deejean06 (1953)
• United States
5 Feb 09
I once read that love means that you can't imagine your life without that someone. I can honestly say that there are people in my life that I can't imagine my days without. I was also told that actions do speak much louder than words. A husband once told me that he could tell his wife that he loves her but if he doesn't take out the garbage she won't know. I think this is similar to the scene in Fiddler. She loves him by the things that she does for him and the entire family. It may sound weird but when I cook and clean for my family I feel good about myself because it's my way of showing that I love them.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
6 Feb 09
How can we control the feeling of love and the impact it caused on our action. We'll do anything for the sake of loving a person.
@Crocket (315)
• Canada
31 Jan 09
Wasn't there a song called zandi? Anyway, love to me is much more than just saying I love you to someone although I do say this myself when I feel the urge. It is the little things that count although most of the time they are taken for granted. What love is is showing the other person your affection for them. My ex-wives and I still have a communication and yes there still is a love in a scense although that is as far as it goes. To be truely happy together is what love should be. Crocket.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
Oh really, but have not heard of it. But there is a song called 'angela' (me). Great, your ex-wive(s) is still in communication with you, nothing is really lost. For old time sake let the love you once had stay alive. Attachment is commonly misinterpreted as love. The acid test, however, is whether a person is really giving or taking.
@sharra1 (6344)
• Australia
31 Jan 09
Love is just a word to describe a feeling. The feeling is still there no matter what name it is called. I would not like to be married to a stranger as the couple you mention were. My partner and I chose each other because we connected. We do not have to say we love each other because it is obvious in the way we relate to each other. People who have to say the word often do not mean it. They say it to try and give the impression that they do when in fact they do not. If they really loved each other then it would be in every action, in how they related to each other.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
1 Feb 09
I agree, love is but part of a feeling. When there is deep feeling towards someone, our action reflects the meaning our our true love. For true love is eternal and unconditional. It is strong and unbreakable, and makes life a joyful one.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
30 Jan 09
Sometimes we just need to hear that.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
• Philippines
30 Jan 09
for me-Love means acceptance--accepting what the person can be in the future--accepting the mistakes that they can do..we don't need a perfect person for a perfect love--all we need is respect--showing them what they really mean to us and letting them know that we love them with our simple actions---appreciation--saying thank you and appreciating what little they can give us--letting them know what happiness it can give us--contentment and trust---like what i always say"Change the things that we can change--accept the things we cannot"...that is what love to me--i don't need to say it everyday every now and then but i'd rather show it
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Your action is done when it comes to love. Love enters in not by doors but by hearts. Love comes to the plain just as often as to the pretty. Love comes as often to the poor as the rich . Love has no age and sees no age! -
@noniefam (284)
• Indonesia
30 Jan 09
love is feeling n we can not discribe it. cause love is pure from buttom of our heart
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Yes, I know the feeling is unique and only people who is in love or are filled with love knows best.
• India
30 Jan 09
Love is a feeling that can never be purely described in form of words and can never be understood in mere letters. It something that shows i all your actions and the work you do each day. The time you devote for your loved ones and your partner, the work you devote to them, the pain you take for them, and ya saying the three words once in a while. Love is much more than just a few hugs and kisses, its a promise of support and care in the hardest of times, and if not that much, then atleast a promise of never being left alone, no matter how hard the time is. Have you heard the song "More Than Words" it really explains it all. Its a lovely song. Take Care God Bless YOU
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Yes, have heard of that song but can't remember the lyrics well. What you say here is true about love.
• Philippines
30 Jan 09
for me,love is good all the time,it's depend on how you handle this,you must be careful when you are saying "I love you" for love is God.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Love and a happy marriage is exactly what God wants you to have. They are the glorious ways God has worked out for the passing of the life He Created!
• China
30 Jan 09
just live together and earn much money so that you can live better.don not forget to have a baby so that both of you live more happe.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Yes, babies are the product of love.
@ShanLhey (165)
• Philippines
30 Jan 09
Uhmm, LOVE for me is without any condition. It's just that when you feel you're in love, you're inspired. Headache also pushing through your brain. A lot of people saying it. I love you. That's not enough. You have to make a move. Show it. True love is unconditional. Though there's no reason to love him or her, you're still there. Finding some ways to make it work. Good thing to show love is to let her know how much you loved him or her. Open up your mind that evryone of us will soon find our one great love. Just wait for the right time. It's always there. :)
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Well, I believe so. Love comes naturally to the person assigned to you by God.
@stella1989 (2277)
• India
30 Jan 09
(Smile) You know my side of the story. I have had 3 relationships till today. Each one of them used to say these three words "I love you" to me every day!! Some even said it like 20 times a day!! But nobody atcually showed me that he actually loves me. Yes I am talking about there actions only.. I never felt that love which they showed and tried to make me belive. As of now I have made this a point.. that If I ever get with some one in my life again I would ask him to not to use the these 3 words until and unless he truly feels like that for me.. I have no problem even if my partner use these words once in 2 years!!! But please !! mean it!! Even after marriage!!
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
You are still young lady and the 3 relationship that you had is only the beginning of the beautiful world of love. They say you have to kiss many toads before you meet your prince charming so do enjoy the life of being single and don't commit until you are ready.
1 person likes this
@bing28 (3800)
• Philippines
30 Jan 09
Love is being friendly as in you're always ready to smile and understand. Love is being thoughtful, remembering you everytime without waiting for you to remember him first. Love is caring, letting you feel his concern, reminding you to take your medicines on time, to sleep early and to know how do you do. Love is sacrifice, doing the best for him or for others first before doing the best for herself. Love is the sweetest word and the best feeling one's have...
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Well said. Love definitely has beautiful meanings as in what you wrote here.
@mikkymyde (185)
• Nigeria
30 Jan 09
love is the best thing that can be experienced by anybody if you're in love with the right person and you are also loved back by the person involved..but nowadays so many people just say the word to people like they are saying hello but to me love is much more than that...
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
God made men and women for each other's joy and love. so there is bound to be someone out there who will share your love.
@josephb (219)
• Malta
29 Jan 09
well when I say I love I am saying that I' readyt o die for you I want you badly I can't stay without you I think about you , I care about you and all those stuff
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
Thats great, you mean what you say and commit yourself fully when you find your true love.
@savak03 (6690)
• United States
29 Jan 09
You are right. The word love is way over used in my country. Instead of a word to describe the deep emotional ties between a man and a woman or between family members it is being used for anything that gives us pleasure. It is frequently heard that people love their TV shows, or love their cars. In fact just about anything which gives us pleasure is said to be loved. This overuse of the word lessens it's impact and meaning. My husband and I didn't talk about love all that much through our lives but I dare say the twenty plus years I spent nursing him after he had become paralyzed from the neck down was sufficient evidence of that love.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 09
I should say the word love should have been kept 'holy' to have a meaningful effect. In your case action speaks louder, Love sends its golden rays of beauty and strength you endured to the end by the loving care you showered on your ailing husband.