MyLot DON'Ts Guidelines for Responding to Discussions

@EvrWonder (3577)
Canada
January 29, 2009 10:39am CST
When we respond to a discussion in MyLot, the guidelines for discussions, under the "DON'Ts" state "Don't respond to a discussion until you have read all the responses first". http://www.mylot.com/o/guidelines.aspx Do you read all the responses first? I came across a discussion this morning that was asking if they poster was the only one left that washes dishes by hand. It had 222 responses. It was posted four months ago, in the Life interest. http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1765637.aspx I was not going to read 220 responses so I didn't respond. It was in the front page of MyLot when I clicked home for the discussions sortie on the right, to load. To mu surprise, someone had just responded 45 seconds prior. I have a feeling that they didn't bother to read the 222 responses. I'm thinking Wow. How to read and comment on 222 responses. As I wandered through the responses, I could see that the first few pages of responses were commented on. Then nothing. I got to thinking, did the person who responded the 80th time, read all 79 responses prior to posting their own response? What do you think? Did the person who responded with the 200th or even 100th response, read the previous 99 or 199 responses before responding. I highly doubt it, how about you? At what point, in the number of responses that a discussion have do you decline to respond or does it matter? Are you a non reader of all responses before you post? I think we have all probably done that at one time or another, how about you? Be Honest. How many of us have never read the MyLot Discussion Guidelines?
13 people like this
22 responses
@mysdianait (63977)
• Italy
29 Jan 09
You certainly have a point! I ususlly read all the response before responding myself and if someone has said what I would have said then I don't bother rsponding at all. Maybe I make a comment on another response. That would certainly be a heck of a lot of responses to read through I would give it a miss I feel. Yes I have read the Guidelines and I do so quite often too. Never know that they might have added something else which I was not aware of
4 people like this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
It seems every time I read the guidelines or the FAQ's, I find something new. Not that it was newly added but perhaps something I missed the first time or there after. If someone says the same thing I was going to say, I too do not bother responding. I have made that mistake though. It is a lot of responses to read through, 200. Even 50 so I too will pass. Thank you for your response.
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
30 Jan 09
Nope... I have not read the guidelines. I use common sense and my own guidelines. For the most part... I only answer the questions of my friends through notification emails. And in doing so... mylot does not provide a link to the responses... so it is impossible to read them before posting. I will sometime read a few responses after posting my own... if I am interested by what people have to say about a certain topic. You have to show iniative in life. If you did everything according to the rule's book... you would never be doing anything. You would be spending most of your life reading rules from people telling you what you can do and cannot do. I simply don't let people tell me what to do. lol
2 people like this
• Australia
30 Jan 09
Furthermore... a guideline is not a rule. It is simply advice or a recommendation.
3 people like this
• Canada
31 Jan 09
That's exactly right. It's only a guideline, not a rule.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Thank you for pointing out that the guideline is not a rule. Good point! It is strange how we have the discussion guideline to read all responses before responding, yet when taken to the discussion via mail, there is not an option to read previous responses. Hopefully MyLot will re-think this. Thanks again
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14338)
• United States
30 Jan 09
This is one rule that I do not agree with and break on a regular basis. Yep, that's right, I go against this guideline. Why, because I think it is stupid. It has to be one of the dumbest rules out there and I personally think mylot should get rid of it. As you pointed out who in their right mind is going to read all the responses first, especially when there are a lot of responses to a discussion? Not only is it time consuming it is discouraging, at least for me. If I see a discussion I want to respond to I don't want to have to read every single response before I respond. If I was to do that I would lose my train of thought on what I was going to say. One thing I will do though, if it is an older discussion and there are a lot of responses, is skim through the responses to see whether or not I already responded to it. After all, I don't want to respond to it twice! There have been times that I have read the responses first. But whenever I do that I tend to not respond to the discussion at all. I hope one day mylot gets rid of this rule, guideline, or whatever it is called. It would make mylotting a much more enjoyable experience. Just my 2 cents. PS Yes, I have read the guidelines, but as you may have noticed by now I don't agree with all of them.
2 people like this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
You are not alone in not agreeing 100% with some of MyLot guidelines. I didn't know that we can actually respond to a discussion twice. Good point. I usually go through my responded tab and check from there if I have made a response on a particular discussion. When there are three pages or responses, it is easier to look under the responded tab. Thank you for your response.
3 people like this
@sacmom (14338)
• United States
1 Feb 09
True...for someone that only has a few pages of discussions that they responded to it could be easier to do it this way. But I have 2 years of discussions that I've responded to. Figure if I'm on here almost everyday and I respond to 5-10 discussions or more each time, how many that would add up to in 2 years time. Way more than 3 pages, that's for sure!
2 people like this
• India
30 Jan 09
I prefer no tto read teh other responses till i post my response, as i am likely to get biased by what the others hafe written. I like to keep my response as original as possible and that is possible only if I respond first and then see what others feel about it. That is my personal view.
2 people like this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
I agree that in order to respond personally we need to stay focused on our own thoughts and that to read a bunch of responses by MyLot members first, can take away from our original thoughts somewhat. Thank you for your response!
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6957)
• United States
29 Jan 09
hahahahaha. I started that discussion and I'm not sure even I read all the responses!!Whew!!!!
2 people like this
@mysdianait (63977)
• Italy
30 Jan 09
Shame on ya!
2 people like this
@capirani (1844)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Personally, I do not read all the responses before I post my response. I have a method I have followed which works pretty well. First I check to see if the discussion is a question about our personal opinions or personal habits, which I feel does not require reading the other posts. Our opinions and habits are our own and it is not likely that we will be duplicating someone else's response. So I don't feel a need to read before posting. However, I do read them after I post mine. However, if the question is a how to type question, or some other question with a specific answer required, then I will read the posts first to make sure I do not post the same answer as someone else. After that, I check the number of pages of responses. I never respond or really read responses to discussions that go beyond 3 pages. After that I don't think there is anything new to be said so why take the time. That way I don't have to deal with as many responses as you mention in your discussion. So, with a discussion such as you mentioned, I probably would not have responded unless I was within the first 3 pages of responders. But if I would have responded, I probably would have answered that I wash my dishes by hand and then gone on to read the other responses. I do not believe that discussion had to have a limit put on it. It was about personal habits and not about a specific answer to a specific problem or situation. As far as the MyLot guidelines go, there are some that could and should be revised. This is one of them. I agree we should not keep posting the same solution to a problem over and over again if it has already been answered. But the point of mylot is to get responses, so asking that kind of question will only get you one or two responses. Asking questions that look for personal habits or opinions will get the most responses. Not much chance of duplication. Guideline here should be revised. So should the one about saying thank you. It is like it is banning politeness. But there are other guidelines that need changed...and policy too...which is a major reason why this month is my last month on MyLot.
2 people like this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Thank you for your response. I have just learned something here. I didn't realize that we are not suppose to respond to each response with a Thank you alone. I understand your point and I agree that some of the guidelines could be revised. I am sorry to hear that this has been your last month here at MyLot. Have you brought your concerns up with MyLot admin? I understand your decision but I do hope that you reconsider and stick around. Wishing you well and Thank you for your well thought out response.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (12114)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I believe if it is a general question instead of it asking for your opinion they are not asking you to read them all.Use your best judgement.
2 people like this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Actually MyLot Discussion Guideline DON'Ts state: "Don't Respond to a discussion until you have read all the responses.". Those guidelines can be found here: http://www.mylot.com/o/guidelines.aspx Seventh DON'T down. Thank you for your response.
@MsTickle (24966)
• Australia
29 Jan 09
A good percentage of us answer from email alerts and so we are unable to read the other responses. This isn't such a bad thing sometimes because we are responding with our own thoughts and ideas not those uttered by another member previously. I think the idea behind this guideline is so that there are not 222 members saying "I don't have a dishwasher". It's often the case that each responder says pretty much the same thing but they want to contribute their bit to the discussion as well as everyone else...even if it's the same answer as everyone else. The only time I read all the discussion is when I'm presented with the digest....unless there are too many responses of course. I also do not read when there are heaps of comments in a response where several members have contributed and it is all a lot of rubbish that is off topic and just utter nonsense.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Jan 09
I have read the guidelines for MyLot. Several times actually to date, but I still don't follow this guideline per se. Why is that? Because, the way that I found MyLot is the easiest for me is to respond to my friends discussions from my e-mail. For some reason, even though its part of the TOS, there's no link given in order to read the discussion first in the e-mail, only to respond. You are taken straight to the response box without a chance to read the rest of the responses to the discussion. I understand the reason for the rule. You should read the responses of the discussion in order not to duplicate a response. I'm not worried about this though. I am an individual who always responds from what I feel. I haven't seen yet where a person had the response I had, as I usually go back after I respond and read the other responses.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
You too make a very good point regarding email notifications of friend's new discussions. Hopefully a MyLot Admin may read through this discussion and put forth the idea to make amends on that one guideline to read all responses first or to alter the way we access friends discussions through our email alerts. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Feb 09
I love you taking the "HINT HINT" stance on things lol. You would thing that MyLot could put something as simple as a link to view the whole discussion in addition to the others that are already available in an e-mail. But hey, if they don't want us to follow their own rule, that's fine with me. I haven't duped a response yet!
@Bethany1202 (3434)
• United States
30 Jan 09
I have read all the MyLot FAQs several times, and they have actually proved quite helpful in a number of areas. I doubt many people read them, especially newbies... Anyway, I usually read the first page or two of discussions (okay, maybe I SKIM them) and then reply, but if a topic has more interesting responses, I will read more responses. I often comment anyway without reading ALL the other comments unless there were only a few, like less than 20 or so.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
I agree. That to read MyLot guidelines as well as the FAQ'a can proved to be very helpful. I tell everyone who signs up under me or who is new here at MyLot and I happen upon their profile, to take a moment to see the guidelines and FAQ's. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
• Canada
29 Jan 09
Well, I didn't realize that it was a rule that you HAD TO reall ALL the responses before responding. IF that was so, then when I get an email notification, why does it send me directly to the new response page, instead of the entire discussion so I CAN read them first. Sorry, sometimes I read some of the responses first, but not always. How am I to come up with MY OWN ideas without mixing in some of somebody else's when my head is filled with other's words. AFTER I have responded, then I see if there are any other responses that I want to comment on. That's it folks, my big no-no.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Exactly and good point. This is why it has been suggested that MyLot revise their guidelines somewhat. In order to not be influence by another's thoughts when wanting to response to a discussion, I usually type it out in word or notepad first. Then I can browse the other responses, if there is a chance someone else may of responded similar to my own thoughts. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
@breepeace (3028)
• Canada
29 Jan 09
I think that if the original question being asked isn't just rhetoric, and is something the original poster would genuinely want opinions on, or need the answer to, I would read every response. However, if the question is "What's the weather like there?", why would I care? I'm going to join into the conversation, but I don't care if the weather is sunny in the Philippines and rainy in Tennessee. I only respond to those questions for the few cents added onto my earnings, to be honest.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Good point and I agree that some discussions with questions like what is the weather there? do not need responses to be read before posting your own. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@thorgrym (677)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I try to read all of the posts prior to answering, myself. I don't ALWAYS do this, though. Sometimes I feel that I have something valuable to contribute to a given discussion and it really doesn't matter what the other people have posted. Even if they have said essentially the same thing as I would, my comment will just help to support their position. I do like to read a lot of the other posts and add comments to them as well. Really, though, if I see that a discussion already has 40 or more answers, I tend to avoid it and move on to another topic. If it is something that I feel strongly about, I might just respond anyway. In that, I agree with what DonnaLawson (post no. 9 in this thread) said. I think that the idea of a discussion is that we all have our own opinions and experiences. If there are 2 responses or 222 responses, we are still of our own unique point of view and should be able to contribute to the discussion either way. I usually don't answer a discussion that is asking a question and it has already been answered. Sometimes I might - just to support and embellish upon another person's answer.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Thank you for your response. I agree with DonnaLawsons post #9 as well. I will move on to another topic as well if there are too many responses already or if the question has already been correctly answered. If it has but I can make an added point, I will usually comment on that response or add my own response, to support the previous response but to add more quality. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
29 Jan 09
Some posts are rather hard to get your head around. I usually read all the responses on a posting of this type. But when I find a Post that hits a nerve, or one that I have strong feelings about I do not read the responses because I want to keep my response to just my own ideas. I have found that when I read other peoples responses its difficult to keep my response entirely my own.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
I know exactly what you mean. I agree. What I do is I find the discussions I want to respond to, open notepad and start writing. Being able to paste now helps a lot. I usually do read the responses before I post. If the discussion is something that I feel strongly about I will skip reading until I have written but i will scan the responses before I post. Thank you for your response.
@fizanali (478)
• Pakistan
29 Jan 09
I think most of us don't read all the responses because on some discussions like you said it would take too long to read all of them. For me I read most responses especially the first few and last few response or any which catches my eye.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Thank you for your response. I have done this before too.
@LadyMarissa (12165)
• United States
29 Jan 09
When I first started here,I read the guidelines weekly. Now I skim over them about once a month. One thing for sure, if I break a guideline, somebody will be sure to turn me in & brag just before my discussion gets deleted. As I enjoy knowing what other people here think, I usually try & read every response before answering. Yes, I've done it when there were 80 responses. NO, I won't when there are over 200. Everybody here looks at that guideline in a different light. I wonder why that rule is there as when we receive our notifications for a new discussion, it takes us directly to the response window with NO opportunity to even see what others have said. I've seen the question more than once as to How does myLot know whether I read all of them or not? I do my best to read them ALL simply because I enjoy seeing what was said. At a certain point, I believe it becomes unnecessary. I believe in adhering to the rules, but there comes a point where it is not feasible!!! I don't think you'll be banned for not reading over 200 responses before giving your opinion. I've always found that reading all the responses doesn't change my opinion...but has given me something to think about at times. I still suggest you read all responses when you can; but at over 200, I believe Admin will forgive you of that one sin. Unlike in life, there are varying degrees of sin here!!!
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Wow! 80 responses? That is admirable LadyMarissa. I agree that 200 is far too many too. I have obviously broke some guidelines as well because I too have had a discussion deleted. Good point regarding receiving notifications about a new discussion. I never even thought of that until now. Reading all responses doesn't change my opinion either but gives me a chance to see if anyone has responded in the way that I had in mind plus it may trigger me to add something that I hadn't thought of yet. Like you, gives me something to think about. That is one of the things I like about MyLot. Gets one thinking. No, I don't think we will get in trouble if we don't read all 200 responses and post. Sometimes it isn't feasible, true. This is when I simply move onto a different discussion all together. Thank you very much for your response.
@spalladino (17927)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I read the guidelines when I first joined Mylot and I do read some of the responses to a discussion before responding but, if there are too many...and 222 is waaaay too many ...then I just respond. I believe that what mylot wants folks to do is to not respond the exact same way over and over again in a discussion. Also, by reading some of the responses already posted, you may come up with something to add that you hadn't thought of prior to reading the thoughts of others.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Thank you for your response. I have too, come up with something else to add by reading the other responses.
• Canada
30 Jan 09
I usually read the first 3 pages after I respond LOL I don't want my comment to change because of somethin I read. I have read th guidelines but it wasn't til this account was suspended LOL
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (45724)
• United States
30 Jan 09
Well, if the discussion is from a friend on my list, then no, I don't read the responses first. Why? Because it doesn't take me to where I can see the entire discussion. It just allows me to respond, without seeing what others have already written. I end up reading others responses after I post my response. But as for discussions I find on mylot itself, I usually read at least 5 to 10 responses, sometimes all, but never 222. I think the only reason to read all the responses would be for questions like how do you fix a microwave or who is the secretary of state. Those questions would have a limited answer, so I would look to make sure my response would not be moot. That is just my opinion though.
1 person likes this
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I have never read the MyLot Discussion Guidelines and I am not being smart about it but I don't read all of the responses before responding.. I read the entire new discussion, but I never read the responses and don't intend to.. My response is just that, "My Response".. My thoughts and opinions are mine and mine alone, they don't hinge on what someone else has to say in a response.. If all 222 people said, "No, they use the dishwaser, my responses would still have to been to say that I do my dishes by hand" and I see no reason to read all of the responses before mine to know the correct response to this one.. So my answer is, NO, I don't read all of the responses before responding for myself.. I do however, find ones that I do read all of before responding but it is to make sure that I know what I am responding to and that doesn't happen often...
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
1 Feb 09
Understood and I thank you for taking the time to respond.