my BESTFRIEND was heartbroken like ME :(

@Jhordie (5115)
Philippines
February 1, 2009 6:23pm CST
Her boyfriend said to her... let me quote "Please let us have a distance" no reason given or whatsoever. My BESTFRIEND cried so much because she was left hanging in the air without knowledge of the real problem that made her man decide to have some space. IT WENT SO FAST... they where happy the day before that then suddenly her man changed without any premonition. As a friend... who came form a broken heart as well... I can't easily say something because it is not me who experiences the said lost nor I have an idea why it did happen. All I did was sent a message to her man in his friendster account which I hope he had given some time reading it and sooner would realize the importance of my BESTFRIEND to his life. How about you... if you were in my shoes... What would you do or say to your BESTFRIEND who is undergoing such pain of losing the MAN she had loved more than herself. :( Please help me... for me to help my BESTFRIEND! To be honest it is more hurting to see her being hurt than me experiencing the hurt myself.
7 people like this
17 responses
@rsa101 (37968)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
Well I guess the best thing that you can offer to your best friend is to be a good shoulder to lean on. She is in pain right now and you are the right person she could confide her feelings. Tell her your experience and maybe you could also get relief from the pain you had experience in the past. But this should come all to pass and should not remain in there. Make sure that you too should pamper or enjoy yourselves from that just because you both deserve to be happy. These men that left you are not worth keeping because they left you for nothing and the pain in your heart must now go on and leave the past away from your present. Do not stick to the past but move forward to your future. For now that would be hard but focus on it and eventually you two will get over it soon.
@rsa101 (37968)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
I will give you a way to get over it, my mentor in life taught us this. First if you want to be alone with yourself or maybe you and your friend might do this together. First try thinking about the good times you had with your BF, cry and laugh about it and enjoy those times that you had fun with him. Then while you are reminiscing this write it in a piece of paper after that one crumple it and put it in a tin can. Then after that write all that cause you pain and sufferings in that relationship. Cry over it, be angry with him and let all those anger come out in the open. After doing all of those things go out in the open and burn it and then as it burn you may again cry and say to yourself that you are letting go of the pain that is with you and letting God come and guide you. Give all your pains and heartaches to HIM and pray that He may give you Wisdom to get over this crisis. Then after it be happy and focus on being like that in your life. There is another alternative to that and that is writing a letter to your ex BF and tell her all the feelings that is with you right now. The rage disappointments and after that thank him for the good things too that have happened to your life when he came in. You have the option to send it or burn it or just keep it to yourself and open it when you can finally say goodbye to him.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
Thanks for unselfishly sharing that to us... I will definitely tell it to her and you may never know that what you have shared would eventually help not just her but as well... me, in the process. THANK YOU SO MUCH! If there is another word greater than that... I would have used it instead. God bless
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
You are SO TRUE... though it is really hard at first but I am sure we will all get over THEM. Thanks for your advice my "one of the first" friend here in mylot. :)
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
2 Feb 09
Well, one can never help it when it comes to relationships.. It can start at the very moment when both set their eys on each other, and when it comes to an end, i can be faster than saying' i loveu'.. Ask her to take it easy.. NO matter how much she loves him, and if he does not feel the same, it's actually pointless because it's not a healthy relationship in the first place.. Love is about both parties being involved.. If not, what's the point of having a relationship with not much love but only suffering?? There will always be someone more suitable for her in the whole wide world.. There will be a time whereby there's someone, whom will love her, more than he love himself ^_^ Heartbroken is not end of the world, and though it's painful, but time heals everything ^_^
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
10 Mar 09
lol =D Thanks for that.. Well, i'm just stating a fact as well as my heart felt words ^_^ well, i guess she's busy as she had a new boss at the start of the yr, i think..
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
That's why I can't see any response from her... please extend my regards to her. Thanks
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
WOAH... thats the reason why I thought you are a KUYA in my point of you... you seem so knowledgeable in anything and everything and you just not simply respond to a topic... you think and analyze and respond with your heart in it. Thanks twinBRO and God bless... how is ate jinx doin??? (I just remember)
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
2 Feb 09
I'm not really sure. I am so sorry this happened to her though. I have benn heartbroken quite a few times from quite a few of my ex boyfriends as well as my ex husband so I know the pain of a broken heart can and does hurt.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
2 Feb 09
I am sure it did and I am very sorry.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
It really hurt... SO MUCH and SO BAD! :(
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
Thanks a lot for understanding the pain
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
2 Feb 09
I know your hurting to see your best friend in pain right now but the best thing to do is just support her through this, try not to get involved talking to him about this because it really is between the two of them and he might get angry thinking your interfering and it could make it worse for your friend. He might think she sent you to talk to him. I would just be there for her and let her know she has someone she can always talk to.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
I never thought about that. Thanks KUYA for letting me know what to do now... and for sure I will never message that MAN again... but just be there for my BESTFRIEND and let her know I am here for her. Thanks again to my sage adviser KUYA howard
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
2 Feb 09
Your welcome Totoy!
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
Hope you have a YM account and add me someday :) Wish to chat with my kuya and asked so many things
• Australia
30 Mar 09
Well, if her boyfriend treated her like that, then she is better off without him. His loss will be someone elses gain, and I am sure your friend will find someone who doesn't take her for granted.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
30 Mar 09
I am sure of that too... and I bet she'll be gaining out of the said experience and might find a better man someday that she truly deserves.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
Comment lang po...LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP NA NGA HUMINGI PA NG DISTANCE...ang labo no...
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
20 Apr 09
hahaha... itchie STATUE?! i mean is that you??? hehehe YUP YUP YUP! Labo nya hehehe
• India
2 Feb 09
Hi Jhordie I am sorry about your friend. I have been heartbroken, sometimes you feel like crying out so loud. It such a bad feeling, but it does happen. I understand being a friend you must be feeling so bad for her, but i think yu can help her by being with her, ask her out more often now, go out with your other friends, watch movies, do things which you both enjoy, i hope this will help in overcoming the thing because it does helped me as well. And if she loves listening to music make sure she dnt listen to all those love songs which will remind her of everything again. Make your friend understand, end of a relationship is not the end of the world even if you have put in all your efforts to make it work. A Relationship is effort of both partners, if he don't realize your worth there is no use of being in that relationship. But sooner or later i am sure he will regret upon what he did to your friend. Hope for the best. Blessings!!
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
Thanks for your very kind words... I will try to give a copy of your responses to my BESTFRIEND so that she'll realize that many people around the world are with her and not just me. Thanks again and I do appreciate all of this for my dear friend.
• United States
8 Feb 09
I don't know if I would say much, I would just be there and listen to her." I need space" line can mean so many things or can be the nicest way he thought of to say I don't love you anymore.Bu none of these things she would need to hear. All I would do is get her out of her house, get her to come over and we would do something fun. For me, that would mean watching a movie . Does she have a hobby? Something she hasn't done since she had this boyfriend? That's what we would do.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
I will try to do that... thanks ate (older sister) sarah. I never thought of that. Thanks again
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
This happens more often in life and it should serve as a big lesson for everyone concerned. I have seem this happen time and again and the feeling of loss and bewilderment remains just as poignant and powerfully painful.
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
and it sucks to experience it... but it will make us a better person if we manage to deal with it and pass this test with our head still held up high. Thanks
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
2 Feb 09
i would say like for real, two to one, he got someone else, and i would tell her like for real, it's his lost not her's. cry the tears and move on. and if was really just no reason at all, and he couldn't give her one, then he's a jerk. he could have been a real man and give her a reason
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
he sould have at least say... "I am loving someone else" painful but it will make it easier for my bestfriend to move on. SIGH... Ughh... that jerk
• Brazil
2 Feb 09
She is very lucky to have a friend like you. When my ex brokeup with me no one did tell him the mistake he was doing. Try to be beside her now even saying nothing. This already helps a lot, for her to know she is not alone right now, that she can count on you :-)
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
Yes I did what you just said... I followed your advice and I am happy she's better now. Again, thanks a lot
@mjanne (251)
• China
2 Feb 09
I am sorry to hear that too. If I am in your shoes, I will encourage my bestfriend to make it clear by asking her man. Her problem or his. Undergoing such pain of losing her man is really sad thing, but whatever, she should overcome it.Life is going on, she doesn't need to spend much time on a man doesn't worth that. To be honest, I think she ought to get out from her broking heart.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
really true.... SHE should be OVER him by this moment. I hope...sigh Thanks for that advice of yours
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
I am sorry to hear that about your friend but I could say she is lucky to have you. If I were in your shoes, I would be with my friend and just listen to her. It helps to have someone to hold on to when your world seem to be falling apart. I am not sure if talking to the man would be a good idea. Because if the relationship is really over, I think you should be helping your friend move on and by keeping the bf in her circle would not help her at all in this. Ask your friend out often. It is taxing on your part but if you want to help, that would be a sure way. I had my heart broken once, and someone did this for me and it did help me. I hope this would help your friend too.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
I will and I will surely do that! Sorry for my late response been so busy at school. Nice screen name here in mylot... somewhat a pen name in some novel or a writer in a known newspaper. Thanks again for your help and may God bless us all
• China
2 Feb 09
hi Jhordie I think the point is the very reason why he decided to leave your bestfriend.It would be an annoying qustion hanging in her mind all the time.Only if she knows the reason,she will be aware of the problems and choose to get over him. what you need to do is being with her,undergong the process and move on.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
I am... and I had done that... she is actually doing better now.... thanks to your advice and all of those people here who unselfishly share their experiences and the way theyve handled such situation. In behalf of her, THANKS
2 Feb 09
im sorry to hear that it happens to the best of us. We as individuals need to take time out from time to time but the problem with him doing that there was no reasoning. That would make me believe he's got something going on the side and have to decide which one he wants. Thats a hard way to look at it, but it does happen.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
That is what I am thinking too... but do not want to tell to my Best friend because it may even hurt her feelings. :( I just hope to know what to do. Thanks for the concern. God bless us all
@samma00 (342)
• Canada
2 Feb 09
I don't know what I would do. i would try to be there the best I could for my friend. I know it's hard to deal with stuff like that, but from what I've learned, it doesn't help pushing the guy. He will come back if he truly loves her. But I never have understood why guys cant give a reason for why they want a break.
1 person likes this
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
just to be fair even some girls do that like my EX who didnt give any reason why she was breaking up with me... but back to the topic... I guess thats the only thing we can do as their friend... BE THERE BY THEIR SIDE! Thanks for responding here and God bless you and my BEST FRIEND!
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
say to your best friends that the man she loves the most than herself is not worth being called it loving him more than herself. she need to accept the fact that they are compatible each other.why she love man that never give her sincerity and faith.love never that easy, love must give to defeat all trials between it.no matter how hard to accept the cimcumtances your best friend must move on to find something that is a man of faith and with a sincere and pure heart...i hope things being normal for her
@Jhordie (5115)
• Philippines
2 Feb 09
Thanks for the warm wishes... i really do hope that for her. Again THANK YOU! :)