Suffering for more than 3 years now!!!

Brazil
February 6, 2009 12:12pm CST
Yes, these days I have been participating on lots of discussions here on mylot and many of them talking about brokenheart. I have a brokenheart for more than 3 years now. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me in 2006 lying that he just loved me as a friend (we were the bestfriends before dating) then one year later he told me the truth, he had lied scared of being abandoned and hurt again, for the third time. We lived together for 5 months till I get back to Brazil and then we started to live a long distance relationship. Now after all this time I see him online anywhere, in all possible messengers, and all his profiles say that he is looking for girls to take pics of. He is a sick guy since he was 14. His imun system is quite low and he get infections pretty easy and even easier during the winter there where he lives (Holland). Why am I saying all of that? Well, now after all this time we almost never talk. We are still friends. And these last days I have no clue why I started to miss him so much and remember what we lived a lot. And this hurts, to see what we became. We were the perfect couple if perfect can exist and now we hardly ever talk to each other and I see him in despair to make new female friends, and I ask myself if he is doing that to fullfill the emptyness I left or not. Sorry guys just needed to speak out somewhere and mylot seem to be the perfect place, since there are lots of sweet people here :-(
1 person likes this
13 responses
@mssnow (9496)
• United States
6 Feb 09
Im so sorry to hear you have to go through this. I had a love once. My soul mate (or so i thought) He broke my heart. It was back in 1996 too. I am still not complacently over him so i know how you feel I still have him on my myspace. I write to him once in a while but he has moved on. I have given up on ever finding mr right. I can relate to everything you say because i go through that too. So to an y future men out there sorry but I am off the market. I will just push you away. That is how i feel . its easier than going through the hurt again.
1 person likes this
• Brazil
7 Feb 09
I know how you feel mssnow, I also don´t believe in mr right anymore. Also in all this time my ex still didn´t move on. He is still alone.
@mzkfrk (23)
• India
6 Feb 09
hi deborahkat, i know how much it hurts(not exactly though since i have never been in a relationship) but what i can make out is that you still have feelings(genuine) for him and i believe you should just give it a try once more. Since its been a long time now maybe he will reconsider this relationship. All the best!
1 person likes this
• Brazil
7 Feb 09
Thank you for your response :-)
@diansinta (7554)
• Indonesia
7 Mar 09
Hi there deborahkat, ***Hug,.. How are you feeling today about this problem? i hope it's getting lighter. I have the same broken heart since 4 years ago, time heals everything i believe you will be happy someday, and i hope me too.. oxox'dian from Bali island.
1 person likes this
@grebojsa (161)
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
7 Feb 09
Heh thanks for sharing your story with us.Well i don't know about you but I fallow a simple philosophy I love girls exactly as much as I see them love me.If a girl is lying to me I lie to her,If she acts cool I act cool and so on.I can't believe that in three years you haven't met somebody new who will fill your heart with love again and make you forget about that other guy.Life is short so go hunting for boys.
1 person likes this
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
7 Feb 09
Hi, 3 years,which is quite a longtime-but Ur wound(heartbreak) didnot heal.This only proves Ur love was very deep.'Still U miss him',shows Ur Love needs a +catalyst reaction,now.Do u know somebody whom u think U've ignored recently(b'cz of Ur memory),but suitable to give back love.who is sensitive and resposible? If the answers are YES,it is the time to give him a nod.It is THE SOLUTION..... =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
7 Feb 09
well first of all, he's a jerk for lying too you. second of all if he lied to you, i say time to move on. if you are still alright with him, and can be friends at less you have that. i tell people all the time, it's his lost not your's
• Brazil
7 Feb 09
Thanks syankee :-)
@goldeneagle (6776)
• United States
7 Feb 09
You are beautiful, and you can have you choice of guys I am sure. Have you tried to start dating again at all? Maybe it is time for you to move on and start trying to live for yourself again.
• Brazil
7 Feb 09
yes I had. I dated some guys but still didn´t find anyone special.
• Hungary
6 Feb 09
Hi there! It breaks my heart to read about your heart ache. I understand. It's painful when someone you love grows distant. I do feel for you, yet, I am sure that there is so much love and joy still await you! There are many others out there that needs your love and care! Why not look forward and stop looking back? There is nothing to heal a broken heart, than a new love and it can be all sort of loves, reaching out. What do you think?
• Brazil
7 Feb 09
Thank you natalia. I am not closed to love but couldn´t find anyone special anymore.
• India
7 Feb 09
I wonder why u even think of this guy. his sickness can be cured by only himself. U are not a doctor so dont do his case study
@zhuhuifen46 (3486)
• China
7 Feb 09
I notice the sorrow in your eyes. I am very sorry for you, but three years is not a short time. Your ex is a big man in spite of the physical weakness. Your should be proud of him. On your part, you should act as a rational and strong girl to match his goodwill. For the distance, and for the physical status, he made the decision, which you have to accept anyway. If you are in a better off status, he might feel better. That is what he wishes to see. Therefore, for the sake of him and yourself, you need to think of a new way of life. Focusing on something constructive will distract you from the sorrow. Life is short, you have to make your contribution to people who love you other than your ex. Time will finally prove to be cure. Try something new and enjoy life. Wish you luck in finding your choice. Take care.
@sbeauty (5871)
• United States
7 Feb 09
You need to get over him and get on with your life. No guy is worth 3 years of suffering, and you deserve better. You have idealized your relationship to the point where you think it was perfection, but obviously it wasn't. Do yourself a favor and find another guy who is more deserving of your devotion.
• United States
7 Feb 09
my hearts been aching for around 4 years i may not be a girl but people have said that im "too nice" if that is possible. you see i met this awesome girl around a couple years ago and we were friends from the start for a couple months now i find myself not being able to stop thinking about her, but shes dating another guy, and she considers me just as her "best guy friend" so that kinda makes it harder for me to tell her im just really confused on what to do =( any tips?
@krupesh (2603)
• India
6 Feb 09
Love is not something which you can force on others.First of all when he only is telling that you were just friends , he means it.What I could guage about him in your short post is that he is desperate to look another girl.If his intention is to look for another girl why will he come back to you?Dont go in search of love but let the love search you.