Vaccuum cleaners SUCK!

@James72 (26832)
Australia
February 8, 2009 5:55am CST
Well they do! It doesn't matter if they're those 99 dollar units that can pick up a bowling ball, or one of those Dyson's that cost 3 grand and can pretty much draw the moon closer with their power..... They ALL literally suck! Did you also know that someone who has many, many children is said to breed like a rabbit because even rabbits breed like rabbits? Funny that! Same goes for the phrase "making out like a bandit". Bandits DO make out big time, have you seen the stuff they manage to steal sometimes! And I guess saying that dung beetles would taste like crap is a pretty fair statement too. The list is endless really! So am I making any sense then? I hope not. It's been a while since I had me a decent panda spank so this is as good a reinitiation as any! Say whatever you like in return, I don't care really.
10 people like this
18 responses
@dawnald (84124)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Feb 09
If it quacks like a duck...
2 people like this
@dawnald (84124)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Feb 09
Then it must not suck.
2 people like this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
10 Feb 09
Shakespeare eat ya heart out! What if it quacks like a dwopped pwate?
2 people like this
@dawnald (84124)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Feb 09
if it quacks like a dwopped pwate it sucks great! Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am a poet. Didn't you knoo?
2 people like this
@SaviourV (258)
• Malaysia
10 Feb 09
Saviour-V teleports in, and laughs as soon as he enters... Nice to see you up to yer ol' tricks again, comrade. Simply put, next to all those other forms of energy, vacuum cleaners provide the most attractive force than any old magnet or electromagnet. Hypothetically, if we could build several long tubes (linked to a SUPER-VAC (TM)) stretching from ground zero to the end of the Earth's atmosphere, we could start bringing the Moon, and possibly Mars, close enough to our Earth so that we'd save on fuel and travel time and costs and stuff. Only thing's finding someone who's willing to finance the entire op. Maybe after we manage to properly quantify the "time is money" saying, heh heh. Saviour-V grins, and teleports out...
2 people like this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
10 Feb 09
Good to see you again SaviourV! Yeah, I've been a tad busy lately, so figured it was time I let the old insanity gene kick in again. I think what you have pointed out here is humanity's complete lack of vision. Here we are, busting our butts trying to achieve so many different things and at such great expense too. Space travel, disease cures, solving salinity and over-population issues..... The answer may just lie in the humble vaccuum cleaner! Maybe we're just not seeing the forest for the trees?? Might be time to start pitching your concepts to your local government I reckon. Let me know their feedback and we can go from there.....
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19500)
• San Marcos, Texas
10 Feb 09
Well I've been told I bred like a rabbit..funny thing is I don't look like one..but i do have sucky vacumn's and know how to suck too...I'm getting hungry think I'll go eat..want a brownie till I get back?
2 people like this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
10 Feb 09
Do you have a photograph of your ears Rose, just so we can all make our own minds up? Given that you have a sucky vaccuum AND you know how to suck also, the two of you must be pretty close! We should all be so lucky to find such affinities like that. A brownie will do just nicely too thanks. Keep 'em comin'!
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
8 Feb 09
Well my crappy vac makes out like a bandit breedig rabbit, but I have to plug it in first! ROFL
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
You have to plug it in??? Good Heavens..... That certainly explains a few things then! I got rid of mine because it just wasn;t doing anything. Now I know why. Dagnabbit. Oh well, I can always get another one. * James writes "PLUG IN THE VACCUUM CLEANER" in big letters on a post-it note and sticks it to his forehead *
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
9 Feb 09
Took me awhile to figure that out too. Thought the damn thing worked on batteries! LOL Even tried the post it note to the forehead, but as I don't walk around with a mirror tied to my nose, I never saw it and so forgot.*sigh* I need a maid..........
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
So you started off with batteries too? * James slaps palm of hand to forehead * Wow! I thought I was the only one. If this isn't great minds thinking alike gone awry, I don't know WHAT is!
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
8 Feb 09
Ah, panda spanking goodness. It will take me some time to come up with a good one after your initial post as you have allready taken all the good ones . This discussion did make me remember a family which last name was 'rabbit-hole'. So the mans last name was rabbit and the womans last name was hole. They had 18 children... coincidence?
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
Hahahahaha. It's kinds like the story about the man called "Warren" because he had 50 rabbits up his butt! Hi everyone, I'd like you to meet the Rabbit-Hole clan..... How the heck did the woman make it all that time with a surname like "Hole" anyways??? You know you're in a bizarre situation when accepting the surname "Rabbit" is one of the best things that could happen to you!lol. Panda spanking goodness will unite the world cyberfluf and don't you ever forget it!
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
8 Feb 09
Indeed, James. Panda Spankers Unite! . I also wonder how this was possible, I guess there must have been a few triplets and twins in there aswell. I can ask my mom, I believe these people lived on her block whilst she was growing up. She might know some other details aswell that you might enjoy .
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
There had to be a few multiples in there somewhere! lol. But man that's a lot of kids! And a surname of rabbit??? It's almost too funny for words!
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12095)
• India
16 Apr 09
Why DO you do this? You start a discussion on something that makes no sense at all....and I have to rack my brains to come up with something decent to respond. Why can't you be like everyone else and start a discussion on something people can respond to (even if it's silly)? And everytime I think of something like this, I'm not logged on to the net or mylot and it skips my mind when I am. I should now remember to make a note of it on my cell (which btw is always around my neck thanks to my little one using it to show his anger) when I think of something!
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
16 Apr 09
But I don't wanna be like everyone else, Sandhya! Seeing as you've got a cell phone tied around your neck, why don't you pull the chord really tight for a minute or so and try to choke some of that cranky out of yourself? I do this by the way because I CAN! lol.
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
16 Apr 09
Jeez, that's not very nice then is it! Here I was just living up to my silly tag and then ya go and point out some potential killers to me. In your own house too! Sleep with one eye open Sandhya.....
@SViswan (12095)
• India
16 Apr 09
Oh, I sleep with BOTH eyes open! And make sure my husband sleeps in another room and lock my door at night!
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
11 Feb 09
well.....we donot have a vaccum cleaner.we use the traditional way of cleaning,a soapy bucket of water and a wash cloth.it seems to be lot more fun than vaccum cleaner-my kids will vouch for it.as for cleaning mattresses etc,we beg,borrow or steal from our in-laws or my parents.i did not see any point in wasting money,as it was not an emergency plus ,now that you have recommended against it,i will surely not go for it.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
11 Feb 09
Well, well, well..... It's un-stable Mable! We don't have a vaccuum cleaner at home either. I'm not sure if my Wife would say that it's fun to be cleaning the tiles with soapy water and stuff though! I guess somewhere along the way she lost the joy. Anyways, as I've said already, vaccuum cleaners SUCK, so who needs 'em! lol.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
11 Feb 09
well...try to do it yourself,you will also lose all joy.its a back-breaking chore!!!we have an house-maid to do the cleaning part.sometimes,me and kids,do play with soapy water(make bubbles)and hubby has to clean the mess after us(otherwise time out for him)(this is done in the absence of my mom-in-law,which is very rare)
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
11 Feb 09
Oh you have a maid then do you? How lucky for you, your MAJESTY!
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7860)
9 Feb 09
On the reverse side ... people claim to have 'slept like a baby' ... so, that would be waking up every few hours for either the intake or expulsion of food or drink then?? yeah,I've had nights like that ... someone may be said to 'drink like a fish'... sooo, how does that work then? however... from experience in my particular job I can confirm that sh*t really does happen!!! Frequently... and usually just after you've changed their bed or just before you get to them with the bedpan!!
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7860)
9 Feb 09
You knew you could count on me to lower the tone...
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
Well I tell ya somethin' Wizzy..... Just when I think you have taken things to as messed up a level as possible, you go on to up the ante yet again! After that explanation, I have come to the conclusion that there'll be NO shifts for me at all! But I do have an idea that might make the whole scenario bearable for ya; and maybe even lucrative! Have you considered selling the sheets as works of art? Paintings done by an elephant have made thousands of bucks so why not a twist like this one? Gove it some thought..... I think I may be on to something here! Hmmmmmmm. Frame choice could be a challenge though!
@Wizzywig (7860)
9 Feb 09
Oh YES!!!!!! That's what I call a 'sh!t-hot idea'. I do admire your entrepreneurial spirit.... Do Alan Sugar & Donald Trumpknow about you?? For those who couldn't afford a whole sheet, we could cut them into smaller pieces or sell them the pillow cases.... Perhaps we could even market it as designer bed linen ....Maison de Merde ??? We could scource unique designs in a variety of colours. I'm sure that, if we could persuade some wealthy & influential person to buy one, all the 'Emperors New Clothes' brigade would be clamouring at the door. Thank you for your suggestion. Please forward your address and I will personally ensure that you receive the largest and most intricately designed example. (You might want to stock up on those plug-in air fresheners) Would you be interested in the Egyptian franchise when we go global?? BTW You dont have any money spinning idea for pots of sputum do you???
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18122)
• United States
7 Apr 09
What about eats like a bird..I have heard this tossed around alot. Birds eat worms,berries,bugs,seeds and I don't know what else. I wonder how many skinny people eat worms?
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
7 Apr 09
On a more disgusting tangent, I wonder how many skinny people HAVE worms? Maybe this helps them stay so skinny in the first place? I don't think I'd wish to eat like a bird at all. Even if it DID mean being skinny always. The only thing in that list that I could tolerate is the berries I think! lol.
@mtdewgurl74 (18122)
• United States
7 Apr 09
Makes us wonder sometime..I would eat the erries as well and maybe the seeds as long as they were sunflower seeds.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
7 Apr 09
Actually I'm with you on the sunflower seeds as I like them a lot. Pumpkin seeds too! The bird can have all the other types for now.....
• United States
9 Feb 09
Don't really have anything to say. I just wanted you to know that I had been here, read your post, and all the others here, as well. Wanna borrow my pinwheel for your panda? I'll even come shave a spot for you to use it in, if you like. I mean a spot on the panda.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
Well thanks for dropping by then Bo. And hold on to the pinwheel for now. We can maybe use it later if the panda's become too familiar with the spanking. Are these squirrels moon worshippers mykl?
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 09
Seriously, Mykl, you're freakin me out, man! Well, if you decide you want the pinwheel, James, you know where to find me.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
I've got your details here Diddly, no issues there. You just never know when a pinwheel might come in handy and I just don't wanna rush in with the trump card ya know.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5718)
• India
8 Feb 09
Some eat like a pig. Now how actually do pigs eat ? WE ask some to stop barking like dogs and then some sing like birds.How come no animals do anything like us ? No you are not making any sense and neither do i ? Where did the rabbits idea come from now and what were you doing with the vaccum cleaner ? Loose a golf ball ? Come to think of it now i' would not mind becoming a bandit, Not the stealing bit but atleast the idea of making it out big time seems attractive enough.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
I don't know WHAT I'm thinking lately Alok..... Therein lies the problem! I've seen pigs eat before; and believe it or not, but they DO actually eat like pigs! Snouts thrashing, squealing and grunting and all..... Strange stuff. The rabbits idea came from some dark place in my twisted pysche I guess and for sure there are at least 50 or more golf balls in the very same place. There's also an insane golfer slashing away in there with a sand wedge and damaging my brain cells! I was trying to adapt a vaccuum cleaner to suck up bandits by the way. If THEY are making out like bandits, then I think it only fair that I make out like something greater. What better way to do that than to take out the bandits? Can something bark like a bird? Can a goose do the human-step?
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5718)
• India
8 Feb 09
Sound like you need a dose of the fridge bashing more than anything else James. I know i need one. Just don't try it with the golf club.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
Frdige bashing? Sure! Let's line up ALL the whitegoods!
@elitess (5077)
• Ipswich, England
8 Feb 09
James i think something is really bugging you right now :D To be honest, i don't think that those auto vacuums that walk by them self throughout the room suck, as you don't even have to give them much thought. If someone is to complain and do a panda spanking it's me: The material that i have to study for tomorrow's exam resembles the speech of a politician with the only difference that it's far more technical... meaning that it talks a lot, in terms i don't even know, and it doesn't even say anything smart or interesting.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
I don't think it takes much of a stretch to come up with something more technical than what the average politician has to say elitess! Even "The cat sat on the mat" is far more complex and make more sense than most words I've heard many of those idiots come out with! Did you spank that smug cat yet?? I am sure that whatever you are reading will make much more sense to you if you provide yourself with a release like this. Don't be shy now, spank the damn cat! And lately, something's ALWAYS bugging me I'm afraid. But still, vaccuum cleaners DO suck and only don't if they're broken.
1 person likes this
@elitess (5077)
• Ipswich, England
8 Feb 09
So bug that something back ! You can't let it bug you without bugging it back you know or the Panda will win a point ! I can't spank that cat as it is my friends and it is to far away, but i can spank the panda in my house with my law book - how about it, will that work ?
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
Ooooh! Spanking a cat with a law book sounds absolutely sensational! I could do with a similar activity myself actually. If it's any consolation, last week I had to write 2 service level agreements and 2 legal contracts for ISP services and I am now trying to co-ordinate their translation into Arabic. Shall we both find something high and leap off it then? The panda's will NEVER have the upper hand by the way as I'm way too messed up in the head for that! lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Feb 09
Yes they do suck up the dirt off the floor.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
11 Feb 09
Very insightful Louise! I am happy to see you in agreeance with me that vaccuum cleaners DO indeed suck! lol.
• Canada
9 Feb 09
I am so very very confused by your post, which is nicely funny. I am not gonna lie I have no idea what you said and am wondering what to do next. Anyway, the truth is that vacuum cleaners do suck up objects and dust, etc. I think that a Dyson vacuum would be extremely sweet to try out and I am not even an avid vacuum user. I really wish that they could such in complete silence while still being effective. That would win a noble prize for sure!
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
if I have confused you tinytankster, then I couldn't be happier! Jeez, I confuse MYSELF most of the time! I wish you every success in realizing your Dyson dreams and I welcome you to mylot too. If you end uo inventing a silent vaccuum cleaner, don't forget us little people. (Apparently you can make 'em extremely silent already! Just don't plug it in! lol)
@makingpots (11928)
• United States
8 Feb 09
You are making complete sense! And now I am really afraid. Might be time to take a break from myLot. I think my vaccuum cleaner is calling me.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
I'm becoming very nervous makingpots, as you're the second person that has now said I'm making sense. Don't tell me I'm losing my touch???? lol. Go see what your vaccuum cleaner wants then.....
@kerriannc (4282)
• Jamaica
8 Feb 09
Do you hear about that lady that give birth to seven children and having americans wondering what more taxpayers are going to pay then she must be a rabbit.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
I just heard about that lady that gave birth to 8! Maybe she is the most recent example of a rabbit then? Shall we send her some carrots?
@KrauseHome (32375)
• United States
8 Feb 09
Interesting thoughts here. I wondered when I seen the Title of this if this would be what you would be referring too, and these are some good analogies for these as well. Makes sense to me.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
I made sense, Krause?? Good Heavens, don't go telling me THAT! lol. Am I losing my panda spanking skills??? The English language provides no end of material I think. No wonder people consider it to be a difficult language to get their head around!
@BlueGoblin (1833)
• United States
8 Feb 09
I think you are trying to say something in code. The code is abortion. First you talk about vacuums then you talk about people breeding like rabbits. The bandits would be the doctors sucking the fetus out of the woman breeding like rabbits. Doctors are seen as seen as thieves. They both wear masks after all. The spanking panda is a reference to baby spanking.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
If this were any deeper BlueGoblin, your head'd be popping up in China! This is one heck of a psychological diagnosis, I must say! lol. I think I need to try to set up a seance and see if I can contact Freud then. If the ghost of Freud tells me that it's you and not me though, I'll be sure to send him your way.