How to mend a broken heart?

Philippines
February 8, 2009 9:43pm CST
What do you do guys when you're heartbroken? Because I am. Now, I'm wallowing. I sleep all day. MyLot all day. But the pain is still here. :(
2 people like this
9 responses
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I am 68 years old and have had three times in my life that my heart has been broken. Loss of your parents or friends or even siblings can be painful but nothing matches the pain that you feel when you have lost your love. My first big loss was with my first wife. Many years after the fact I discovered she had multiple affairs back during the early years of our marriage. I had no idea and it crushed me. I begin seeing a crises councilor and after a period of time begin to recover from that and because it had been many years in the past I forgave and we went on. However several years later, because of life circumstance, it happened again and I divorced her. Thirty seven years of marriage gone. Eventually I re-married. My new wife however had diabetes and had it for many years. She had not taken care of herself and after about 5 years with her I lost her to a heart attack. All of these were devastating to me. I felt like what you are going through now but somehow I knew that if I let it, it would destroy me and I vowed I would not let that happen. I was better than that and I knew I could recover. In due time I begin looking for someone else to go out with. No intent to find someone to marry but someone to share things with. I am thrilled to say I not only found someone to go out with but she agreed to marry me last June. Was all this easy for me to go through? No not at all but something inside told me that this is what life is all about and how we handle it reflects the kind of person we are. Many people who loose someone they love deeply never ever look again or wait many years to try again. As long as that makes you come back to center and recover from it that is fine we all are different. As painful as this is for you right now it too will pass. How soon it does depends on you. You must begin to involved yourself with other things and get your mind away from this pain. Time will do that anyway so you might as well do all you can to hurry it up. If you continue to wallow in your self pity, and in the final analysis, that is what you are doing this pain will stay with you. Consider where you were before you met the person that broke your heart. Find a way back there and you will be fine. If you find you can not do this on your own get help. Talking it out with someone makes all the difference. Keeping all the pain to ourselves will only extend the time for healing. Don't do that.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
Wow. I can't believe this, tears are forming in my eyes! Thank you so much for the encouraging words. You're 68 and I'm only 21 and look at me, it's as if it's the end of the world for me. How silly and immature can I get? But I'm thankful that these things happen to me because I know in the end I'll come out stronger and better. And yeah I'm starting a new life and in a few days, I'll start taking up piano lessons. Music has been my passion and I'll just write these experiences into songs. Thank you so much. You don't know much this means to me. I wish for you a lasting relationship and happiness with your new wife and may God bless you!
2 people like this
• United States
10 Feb 09
Excellent! I am so glad to hear you have a plan forward. That is all it takes and then, one day at a time. You have a whole life ahead of you of things you can not even imagine right now so it is important you do learn from your experience but then move on. While it may be imposable for you to see right now there will come a day when you look back and see this was the best thing that could have happened to you. We truly only learn from adversity. It often sets us on a different course than we might otherwise have taken and more often than not it will be a much better one. It indeed will mold you into a better person. Thank you very must for the best response. May the Lord be with you.
@1hopefulman (32558)
• Canada
9 Feb 09
I have had my heart broken a couple of times (I'm almost 60 years old). That was many years ago. How I coped? I cried until I had no more tears to cry. I drew close to God and that helped me a lot. I once went on a high mountain in the middle of the city and looked around and said to myself: There's a whole big world out there. I also mfocused on helping other people. I was inspired to write some poems about what I was feeling and what I was going through. And now, I feel fantastic. I live in hope that one day I will meet someone really special and wondeful. I'm happy!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
I wish I could say the same. That I'm happy. But I'm not. Yet. I know time will come and I will be. And it really feels good to know that in times like this, there's Someone up there whom we can count on, rely on. That's what I'll do. Be closer to God. And you're right, it's a big world outside and not one person can break us. Goodluck to both of us! May we find what we're looking for. Thank you!
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (32558)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
junasism, it takes time for deep wounds to heal. I know from experience. However there is much you can do to speed up the healing process. Some ideas: Focus on the negative points of the person who hurt you Keep busy doing worthwhile things, like helping other people, developing your talents, take some courses, ect Talk about it with a confidential friend, let it all out, how you feel, how it hurts Remember, you have muchy to contribute , you are a champion, you have great things thyat you want to accomplish. You can't sit around all day moping over spilt milk. There's other milk our there, even chocolate milk. Go to a funny movie. Laugh you head off. Above all else: 1 Peter 5:6-7 (Contemporary English Version) 6Be humble in the presence of God's mighty power, and he will honor you when the time comes. 7God cares for you, so turn all your worries over to him. Psalm 34:18-19 (The Message) 18 If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath. 19 Disciples so often get into trouble; still, God is there every time.
@Anne19 (300)
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
Mourn and mourn until such time you get tired of it. Cry your heart out and when you're done, go out and have a drink with your friends. Be drunk and merry. The next day I hope you'll realize how stupid you look like, as what I did after doing those things. Then look around you and see how much life have to offer. Remember there's always a rainbow after the rain. Get well soon...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
Yeah.. There's always a rainbow after the rain.. Sounds like a Southborder song to me. Hahahah! Thank you!
@snowy22315 (52905)
• United States
9 Feb 09
A broken heart is indeed painful and hard to to get over. I have many times that I do not really wish to get over it, and instead prefer to wallow but it takes time and there is nothing but that when you are wallowing in your broken heart.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
I think at some point when someone is heartbroken, it is his or her right to wallow, to feel the pain, to reminisce, to hope that everything will be back to normal and to think that everything is just a dream. Just don't abuse that right. You know what I mean.
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
What do I do when I'm heartbroken? Relax. Go out in a sunny day and breathe deeply and tell yourself... "There's a reason why this happened" Don't wallow.. don't trap yourself in your house just waiting for something good to come along. STAND UP and go out and realize that you still have a life to continue. You have friends to talk to.. friends who will be there for you. Don't lose hope babe. Like they say: "A person that does not move .. is still at the same place" Move and open your eyes. he/she is not the only one that loves you and wants to see your beautiful smile and caring voice. Be happy:)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
Just wallow on it for a week, then go on and move forward. Dude, there's more to life than just a girl! Not that I'm implying anything wrong about your ex, but--there are more girls out there, girls who want to see you, girls who'll want to sleep with you [just being honest!], and girls who'll want to be with you. Get that week, and then get back at life. We all fall down, but the world never stops going round and round, dude. ...or do what I do. When some guy dumps me, I hit the mall just to buy myself a little piece o' somethings to keep my mind occupied from the last jerk who broke my heart. It's always their loss; it's not ours. =)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
Finding somebody else to focus my energy on works for me. Hoping you all the best!
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
Eat a lot of your favorite foods, watch movies with friends, dont think of the past anymore concerning him of course and be happy and ready to move on in what life has to offer.
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
9 Feb 09
junasism, I would like to share 2 quotes with you here: "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." -- Rose Kennedy. And: ā€œEventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.ā€ -- Gary Zukav. You will need to realize that there is no one and nothing will mend your hurt except you yourself. You will need to accept the facts, love yourself enough to forgive yourself and let the episode go. There is no point harboring those negativity inside you whilst the days will still go on renewing everyday. It takes efforts to be both happy and sad, then why not choose to make an effort to be happy and pass the day happily. Remember in life there is always a choice and it is only our own rigidity that prevents us from objectivity. Take care.