Baby Sitting Nightmare.

@Chevee (5915)
United States
March 2, 2009 8:22pm CST
My sister got custody of this little girl about 3 years ago. She started adoption procedures last year and the adoption was final about 3 months ago. The little girl, I call her Kimmie, just turned 5 years old last month, but you will think kimmie is 25, she isn't at a lost for words, the words that come out of Kimmie mouth is more advance than the normal 5 year old. Kimmie is a terror. She has these mood swings, tantrums, and I don't know what all else, no one wants to be bothered with Kimmie not even some of people at the church she attends. Kimmie has a form of autism called Aspergers. ( Asperger syndrome (also called Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's disorder, Asperger's or AS) is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and people with AS therefore show significant difficulties in social interaction and restricted, stereotyped patterns of behavior and interests. Now the problem is, my sister called me today and asked me if I could baby sit Kimmie every Monday for one hour. She has this job that she does in the evenings. I am asking all my MyLot friends to please pray for me in this ordeal. Kimmie and I had a run in once at a family gathering. I said something to her and she responded ("You ain't nobody momma"). My daughter had a run in with Kimmie at church. My daughter told her if she didn't behave she was going to beat her down. Next thing we know she and Kimmie was leaving out the church with Kimmie yelling loud enough for the whole congregation to hear. "Don't beat me down, where are we going, don't beat me down" Do You think Kimmie and I will make it for one hour or more every Monday?
7 people like this
15 responses
@AmbiePam (50433)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Wow. I guess the positive thing is that children with that form of autism end up being incredibly high functioning. Of course I have no children with autism, so my "info" isn't based in experience, but I'm glad Kimmie has someone to take care of her. Instead of growing up in foster homes. I think with a lot of prayer maybe you'll do better with her than you think.
1 person likes this
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
3 Mar 09
We do love her even with her faults. She is a smart little girl. I thought it was funny now I have to keep her, its not going to be funny any more. . I'll be alright. I am not afraid of her and it is only for one hour or more.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (50433)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Maybe you'll be the catalyst that puts her at ease.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Well you can try it for one time , and if it doesn't work out then tell your sister. If you cant handle her you cant handle her. I had a son with aspergerers and at 5 he was a terror too. He used to scream his head off for no reason. It wasn't easy but i made it through and he is now 21 and very mellow and a good kid. I know one of the things i had to tell my son when he was little that other people had feelings and would get hurt because he didn't understand that. He would hit people or call them names and then just smile like he did some thing great. Basically i found what he liked and let him do it. Which was his video games and geography. with me and the teachers helping him he finally was a good kid. Even graduated with honors. Takes alot of work to teach them. Do your homework read up on aspergers learn ways to handle certain thinga they do. Then try it and see. Good luck to you.
1 person likes this
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Thank you. We really need help with this. If I have any questions or advice is ok if I keep you in mind.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
3 Mar 09
sure no prob :) Ill do my best
1 person likes this
@uicbear (1903)
• United States
3 Mar 09
I think you will be fine. I do think though you will have to find some things that Kimmie likes to do. If you can find a couple of activities that she likes that could easily take up an hour. Also, talk to your sister about possible triggers to Kimmie's mood swings. Sometimes it can be something simple that sets off an autistic child that we would have never though about. On the opposite end, ask your sister if there is anything that calms Kimmie down if she starts to lose it. Maybe she has a stuffed toy or blanket that she soothes herself with.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105414)
• United States
5 Apr 09
It is fortunate she has a diagnosis that seems right, at such an early age. I work with a young woman with this disorder. She is one of my clients. The funny thing is, she was also a roommate to my daughter for a semester at college.(Her mom is the president's secretary). She was not diagnosed until after she left college. Instead she had labels like Severely emotionally disturbed. My daughter always said she would do at least 50% better if she would just go to bed at night. She does not try new things easily and she is just totally overwhelmed by change. She also jokes about her tendency to OCD. She says she used to sort her M&M's so that the colors would not touch. She does lots of things with lists and numbers.
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
3 Mar 09
I am sure you will and it may even make you closer,she is just a baby and needs lots of love and affection,if she said those words she has heard them some where before and kids can remember things for a long time so maybe she wasnt quit as loved before your sister got her.Be patient and I am sure you will get along fine.Good luck and God Bless!
1 person likes this
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Thank You.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
3 Mar 09
i don't know if u will or not but i think she's get her butte warmed up if i was around. i think she needs it anyway. good luck.
1 person likes this
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
3 Mar 09
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
4 Mar 09
It sounds like this little girl is a real challenge. I really think that you can handle her, but it will take her time to get used to you more, and for you to get used to her more too. A helpful thing may be to research Asperger's more and see if there are any useful suggestions on good ways to deal with a child that young. If you give it an honest try and find that you just cannot handle her, then be honest with your sister. I will certainly pray for all of you. This is definately a huge challenge.
1 person likes this
@WATARIKENJI (1534)
• Philippines
4 Mar 09
Lots of patience.... As an adult, I think you can device ways to pacify or control her. I believe that her behavior is largely due to her disorder. We just hope that as she grows up, she would overcome this stage of her life and be a mature individual just like other people with autism who rise up and overcome the setback of their disorder. Goodluck!
1 person likes this
@wolfaaron (179)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Yes, certainly that you will, she is just a child, and sooner or later you will find her soft side. Before you know it, she will look up to you as a friend, just try to get a little closer, maybe she is trying to hide something from her past.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6301)
• India
3 Mar 09
Autisitc children are difficlut to handle and beating or threatening is not the solution.This girl is this way because she has been handled al wrong in her life. You all can consult a beahviour psychologist for help. Best thing would be to pt some music on for a whiole nothing aggressive but something soothing and calm liek any mediation cd's with only music no voice overs. Autistic kids love music it helps them to calmdown. When you all speak to her speak to her in a very calm and composed manner with lots of love and feeling in yoru voice and you will see she will calm down too. I have worked with autistic kids and music was the only thing I found was the wuickest way to grab there attention. Try it on Monday, you may be surprised.
1 person likes this
3 Mar 09
Hi Chevee, This is so diffiult, theses children more attention then children who hasen't got AS, but you have to remember she is only five and if you can get her to trust you, you can become friends, theres is lot lot going on in her mind as well but I'm no expert as I have no children but one a friend bought her son whowas about eight at the time and my God, he nearly recked my home he had AS as well but I manged to calm him and give one my crystals to play with, he was so fasincate by it and over the years the only person that could talk to him was me. I can't understand the people at the church would want to bother with her, those so called christains makes me sick, the hypercrits. Hugs. Tamara
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
3 Mar 09
H[i]i Chevee, Wow...I'm not sure really but I hope she will just enjoy with whatever activities you can assign her...like if she wants to draw or paint.... Give it a try maybe and then hopefully,Kimmie will behave in one hour and show no tantrum![/i]
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105414)
• United States
5 Apr 09
I know this is an old discussion. I wonder what you decided. Children with AS need as much routine as possible. Kimmie needs one single babysitter all the time. Very recent studies have shown that some of the problem is that these children do not produce enough of a hormone that helps with stress responses. They need very routine and regular environment. You could be a blessing to her, if you could give her that one hour a week.
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Well, I would say that after a few times, once she learns the rules and regulations of your house that it would be fine, but I know that with ASD that will be more of a challenge. I don't know the general behavior patterns of an autistic child but a friend of mine has a son with it ASD and she uses time out alot and then she tries positive reinforcement. I doubt anything you do will be met without resistance and tantrums so I guess the best thing would be consistancy. One two three timeout until she understands your rules well then instant consequences after. It won't be easy and don't do it past a point you can't handle. I wish you much luck with this endeavor!!!
• India
4 Mar 09
keep on loving her....On some day she will suerly recognise your love and affection..... afterall she's just a KID......
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
3 Mar 09
Sure I think you can do it. First off think of it the way Kimmie thinks. She is Very used to getting her own way, she will do Most Anything in this respect. Also she Needs, and Demands attention, (not just some, but All the Attention) she wants to be the most important person in the room, (and she usually is) Now if you can win the first round, (hour) you will not have any more problems with Kimmie. So here is what you do. As soon as your hour with Kimmie starts, begin to read your book, or watch TV, or do anything that (seems) to take your whole attention. The louder and most distracting it is the better. Kimmie will immediately come on you demanding your attention, but you keep on doing what you are doing with all the attention you can muster. No matter what she does, IGNORE her. If she becomes destructive you must Stop that immediately, but anything else is ok, as long as she doesn't burn the house. A Tantrum is perfect because that is VERY hard work, and Kimmie will soon tire of that when it gets no results. No matter what she says or does, just keep smiling and doing your own thing. The hour will soon be past you you will go Home the WINNER! Congratulations!!