do you need money to love????

@parthu28 (499)
India
March 14, 2009 2:36am CST
i ve a silly question but it means a lot to me.. here in india the first question every one asks if i say i am in love is how dare you love some one when you know you dont earn a penny..!!! i dont understand how will someone think about money and all when they fall in love??? will you have time to think about all this stuff when you fall in love.. i mean i understand to live we need money and to feed your loved one you surely need money... but if you love a person truly dont you think you can do any thing to keep the person contented and happy???? dont you think all you need to love is a heart and money is required not to love and just to live.. i am strongly of the opinion that all you need is true love and money does play a role but i done feel it is a prerequsite for love.. what do you say..??? am i thinking foolishly????
5 people like this
20 responses
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
14 Mar 09
Money is not a prerequisite to love but I guess one can learn a lot about a person by noting their attitude towards money. Does the person have a job and is he or she contributing to society? Is the person irresponsible with money? One of my friends fell in love and married a man who still has no idea about money and has literally sent the family broke with his stupid wasteful attitude. He would not go to work when he didn't feel like it which resulted in his becoming unemployed. The stress of his irresponsible attitude towards finances caused their marriage break-up. So just because a person does not have much money does not mean he or she is not worthy of love, it's the attitude and integrity toward it that matter I think.
@parthu28 (499)
• India
14 Mar 09
i feel bad for your friend.. and you are true when you said that its not the money that counts but the attitude towards money that matters.. thanks paula i always see a point in your argument ...
@neha2k94u (408)
• India
14 Mar 09
I think I understand what you are trying to say, And yes, you must not think that you need money to fall in love, I think our parents just want that we must be established... And surely its not a prerequisite to love, but this thing you have to think for someone you love because if they are happy you will be happy...
2 people like this
@parthu28 (499)
• India
14 Mar 09
yes and thats what mean. thanks for understanding me.. i no i need to earn to keep my loved one happy but i feel bad when people see it as a requirement to love..
2 people like this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
14 Mar 09
No you are not thinking foolish. But, a little unrealistic. I have a BF know for two years. And the money is not easy to come by. He does not have regular job. When he works , no problem, but when he does not... Things get irritating in the house front. I have some money, but cannot pay everything by myself. Him being at home to long causes friction. Many times we don't have food in the refrigerator. We get bored and sleep the whole day, because we have nothing else to do. Without money you stay home and do nothing. It is not helping in a relationship. There are times when I feel like giving up, because this is getting me no where. And I think most people will have this after a couple of years. Yes we Love each other, but we need to live too. Sure in the beginning you can Love without money, living on Love. But after a while that becomes a fairy tale. You need money in a relationship. Not a lot, but enough to pay the bills and not have financial problems. With financial problems comes stress, and no relationship needs this kind of stress. Good luck.
@parthu28 (499)
• India
14 Mar 09
you laid the life bare before me.. thanks for that.. i think you misunderstood me.. i am now 20 and i am doing my bachelors degree. and i do a part time and earn enough for myself. And i am confident in about an year as i come out with my bachelors ill be in a situation to earn a proper living.. now i a telling all this not to prove i am worthy but to say that i neant some thing else by my post.. MY actual question was am i ineligible to love just because i dont have a job yet.. i dont wish to marry right away and i am sure i would like to settle properly before proceeding for marriage.. but is there any harm if i love a person now ??? i meant to be eligible to love do you need to be earning???
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
14 Mar 09
No, you can Love. With or without money people fall in love. I think the people around you, may be concerned. If you are so much in love, you might not do well at school. So they are trying to protect you. They say it is better to have everything right, before you start. But, when you are in love, your in love. That is not something you can turn on and off whenever the time is right. Like what I was writing you, trying to make you see what can happen when you don't have a good job and not enough money. This does not mean you cannot love someone. No, I wish you all the best. And sounds to me, like you are going to do just great. Don't get me wrong I love my BF too. But things could have been so much more easier. And a lot more fun. It is a hard situation. Take care.
@parthu28 (499)
• India
15 Mar 09
thanks a lot now i understand you.. and the people around me say so because in my country people still did not come to accept love marriages and most of them still feel we should marry the girl they get.. even though the behave modern in many ways they still feel so when it comes to love and marriage.. i dont blame them but i wish they understand that its not in my hands to love or keep away from.. frankly speaking i do not remember when i started loving her... thanks for the response Margajoe
1 person likes this
@sweetyethot (1738)
• China
16 Mar 09
Hi,parthu28,its nice of you to say that way.Hold on to your own view coz the way you think is very encouraging.As long as I meet the one with whom Im truly in love,I wont care a bit about how much money he has.We only need money to live.Nice say!I cant understand men regard money as the foundation of love.
@parthu28 (499)
• India
16 Mar 09
thanks for your soothing words.. hope you get him soon.. all the best
• United States
15 Mar 09
I agree with you, parthu. Although money is needed to support a person, it should never be the make it or break it component of a relationship. You could spend your life with a wealthy person and struggle finding happiness because truth is if it all comes down to money, the human component takes a back seat. Or, you could spend you life struggling financially with someone not so wealthy, but who will be right there with you every step of the way, as you both figure out together the steps you will take to get yourselves out of whatever debt you are in.
@parthu28 (499)
• India
16 Mar 09
thanks a lot... you really understood me.. and you are right what would you do with money if you dont get a person whho loves you
@major310 (42)
• United States
14 Mar 09
money should never have anything to do with love but sometimes people feel that they need money from someone just to love them, meaning they care more about having everything they want instead of the person themselves, I would hate to be with someone that doesn't have any money but I also don't want to be with someone that only thinks about money instead of me.
@sharra1 (6344)
• Australia
16 Mar 09
Very true. But when a person thinks like this they are not really in love and the relationship has problems. Money should never be the basis for a relationship in my view but some people go into arranged marriages solely on the basis of the money that the husband has and will earn.
@coolmailraj (2461)
• India
14 Mar 09
I agree with you word to word dear. Money is required not to love but to live.
@parthu28 (499)
• India
14 Mar 09
thanks a lot for your response friend..
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
14 Mar 09
There are many things in life are interrelated. For instance, we need to live, and we need to fall in love. Sometimes, people are too optimistic about love without bread. But we as human beings, we have to face reality in our lives too. Sometimes, we need to balance things out. Consider it as a reality chat.
@parthu28 (499)
• India
14 Mar 09
thank you you are right.. i understand that but i mean money should not be treated as a requirement to l ove..
@whyaskq (7553)
• Singapore
17 Mar 09
Money is apparently the most element in the context of love. People might say love is more important than money. However, I feel otherwise. What is love if the couple has to squabble daily or hourly over money matters. If there is money, everything is sweet and lovely because there is no worry over money. Life is a bliss. hence, in my opinion, money is needed to love as most love is conditional. Even unconditional love like motherly love can waiver because of money.
@sharra1 (6344)
• Australia
16 Mar 09
Well you need money to live so money does have a place in life in that sense but I believe that love is a matter of the heart and that money has no place to play in it. Some people marry solely for money and if that is what they want then fine. Money has never been that important to me. Sure I like to have a house and food and clothes but I am content with what I have. I am not interested in being rich and have no wish to live like some wealthy people do. There is nothing wrong with loving someone if you do not earn money. Many couples have only one income and I know of couples where the wife worked and the husband stayed home and cared for the children. She was business minded and he was more of a hippy and it worked for them.
• United States
15 Mar 09
No. Loving someone has little to do with money, either yours or theirs. However, there are some practical realities that have to be dealt with when entering into a life with someone. Money, is one of those realities. Love may conquer all, but the bill collector will probably not be too keen on getting a big check of love when the bills are due. In the U.S. the two primary reasons for divorce are infidelity and money. Money plays a big part in the stress on a couple because at the end of the day, you've got to eat. Normally, the problem comes when the two people view money differently. One is a spender and one is a saver, that creates tension between them. Does it mean they don't love each other? No. It just means they view the finances differently, but those differing viewpoints can lead to the eventual demise of the marriage. They may still love each other, but they can't be together. If we all waited until the "perfect" time to fall in love, it would never happen. There will always be a host of reasons why we shouldn't be in love. But if we ignore the realities of life, being in love won't be enough to save us or our loved one. You're not foolish for falling in love despite the fact you're not earning money. But, you will be foolish if you think it will never matter.
• Netherlands
15 Mar 09
We all fall in love when we fall in love, normally we don't have anything to say about it because it just happens, but it is knowing when to pursue the relationship and when not to is what makes a smart man/woman. If you know you have no job and have no money, then you can not support your loved one and as unromantic as it sounds, love does take care of everything. You and your loved one still needs a roof over your heads, food in your stomach, clothes on your backs etc. and with no way to provide any of these things, then it is, in my opinion, not the time to pursue the relationship but rather pursue trying to get a regular job, or an education that will help you get a regular job, so that you can support a loved one. It is not only the loving and fair thing to do for the one you love but also for yourself! Good luck in all that you do! ;)
• United States
15 Mar 09
I sure don't Money is one thing that never has bothered me in any way
@bing28 (3800)
• Philippines
15 Mar 09
We can fall in love in the simplest way, without money. If you're in a secluded place like seem to be a paradise, where the food, the water, the natural resources could suffice for a happy living maybe. With the way of life is going however, today so ovious that we need money to love or even to live. It may not be a pre requisite for love, as long as you earn while living and loving. Otherwise living with your loved one would be miserable without even little amount of money to be spent. Yes money play a role, it can modify however for you to have simple living or live to the fullest.
@sandymay48 (2031)
• Canada
15 Mar 09
I understand what you are saying, and it is not foolish. Love comes from the heart and not the pocketbook. IF it came from the pocketbook, it would be materialistic and become greed. You dont need money to love, but maybe the other people meant you need money to be able to support the one you love. There is a difference!
@delkar (1716)
• Romania
14 Mar 09
you can love without money too, but just for a little time. The relationship will not last for a long time. Money will consolidate your relationship. You`ll need money to go out, to make gifts, to feel free to do a lot of things, that really need a lot of money . It`s hard nowadays to find girls that will not look for money. You must be careful on what type of girl you are inloved.
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
14 Mar 09
That is a silly saying. I think one has all the freedom to love with or without money. Money does not determine how one can love another. BUT, in marriage, one needs money. In life, one needs money, to survive and eat food. That is being 'responsible' and one needs responsiblities to take care of another. If you can completely balance this off and the one you love can understand this too, then it will be a happy relationship. Loving, relationship, surviving, marriage are all different but connected in one way. Good luck!
• United States
14 Mar 09
you are a very sweet person, i can tell. yes love is not about how much money you have. if you can only love someone based on how much money they have, you don't love them for them. money can be here today and gone tomorrow. yes we all need money to live but without love, money is just money.
• India
14 Mar 09
Their is no connection between love & money .. But dude thoday the time has changed ... ow Money makes the big difference.. Uou can start love without money .. but you can not contine with your love without money ... So dude ... start earning or continue to earn \nig & stay cool ...
@roxa19 (115)
• Romania
14 Mar 09
i don't think money have anything to do with love. love is a wonderful feeling, money are some papers. i have some friends who got married because their husbands were rich. some of the marriages didn't last. money makes people do strange and crazy things. so, love people for who they are, not for their money.