What do you do with a 450lbs visitor

@savypat (20246)
United States
March 20, 2009 7:03pm CST
We had a very good friend's son come to see us. This man weighted 450 lbs or more. I got out the heavy duty oak dining room chairs for him to sit in. I set out three chairs around the room so he wouldn't feel uncomfortable, he was only here a short time so it was OK, but I worried about what to do if he needed a bathroom. I had never faced that problem before but for people that size it must be a constant worry. What would he have done if I didn't have those chairs? It's the first time I realized just how difficult having to deal with that much weight on a daily basis must be. I knew about plane tickets, and other special accommodations but I never thought about just dropping in on friends. What would you have had to do if he came to your house?
14 responses
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
21 Mar 09
I know a few people who are that heavy if not pretty close to that weight. I just treat them like family.
2 people like this
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
21 Mar 09
No one if he comes to my house I will tell him point blank that he cannot stay there because I don't have the accommodation. Why should someone put themselves in this difficult situation is beyond me. Time like this were there are so many things about obesity and they are still carrying themselves with addition weight. He is lack of self esteem and this is the reason why he is like this. I would advice you to give him a good friend advice and you will see the weight he is carrying in his heart. Maybe this is the reason he stop by you so that you both could talk but apparently you didn't mentioned anything that could have open the door for him.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
21 Mar 09
We did talk about many personal problems which I didn't want to bring into this forum. I hope that what I told him will help, I also talked with his Mom, with his permission, and gave her some ideas of what was going on with him. I've done what I can, the rest is up to him as it always was.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
21 Mar 09
I appreciate your concern, If I get the chance I'll send your blog.
• United States
21 Mar 09
This is something I have never really thought about. I think the heavy duty chairs were a good idea the sofa might have worked as well. It really makes you think of the daily struggles that someone that size might face. I wonder what he does when he goes to a restaurant because he obviously can not sit in a booth- guess he just sits at a table. I also wonder if he goes to movies because I do not see how he could fit into those seats. He must be very limited in what he can do and that is kind of sad.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
22 Mar 09
I am glad that I had this experience, it has made me more tolerant toward extremely overweight people, I have to admit I had little patience before, but now understand it's just another addiction for people to overcome if they can. It has made me kinder I think.
@gicolet (1704)
• United States
21 Mar 09
My husband's cousin used to be that big and heavy. He underwent some gastric bypass about 3 yrs ago and is now even thinner than my husband, he met a girl for the first time, and now they have a 2 yr old son. When he came over to our house before his bypass it wasn't that much of a worry since we have a long sofa in the family room where he sat and made himself comfortable talking with other guests. On him going to use the bathroom never crossed my mind but now that you mentioned that it must have been difficult for him. If we're going to have another guest in our house with the same weight I would just ask whatever he would need to make himself feel comfortable. I'd rather ask than guess. I think it would be much easier than to try to figure out what to do to make him feel comfortable.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
21 Mar 09
Your right, these people know they are over weight and the problems that come with it. It's best to ask. Thanks
• United States
21 Mar 09
My ex-stepfather was about that heavy, but I didn't know that you needed to make special accommodations for people that size. It's just a question of buying quality furniture that isn't completely flimsy. You might have a problem with things wearing out quicker from repeated use if the person is over a lot, but otherwise it shouldn't be a problem. I think the biggest problem we had at my parents' house was that toilet seats would break after a few months.
@dropofrain (1168)
• India
21 Mar 09
I have never faced any problem of such kind till now. But what you have discussed can be an eye opener for a lot of people. Many people are over sized and when they will visit our homes indirectly we may let them feel embarassed due to this. It was really great the way you have handled the situation.!!
• United States
21 Mar 09
I dont think most people have a good concept of what 450 pounds really is. Imagine 50 twelve-packs of soda stacked or 90 bags of sugar piled up, thats 450 pounds. Honestly if I was put in the situation I'm not to sure how I would react, I guess I would try to be as comforting as I could without it seeming like I am going out of my way. But what if he/she needs somthing that I dont have or cant supply, that would definatly be a feeling I would want to experience.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
21 Mar 09
Hey pat~ I really give you alot of credit! I don't know what I would have done! I honestly don't have any furniture that would have held up to that kind of weight! I have wicker chairs that go to my dining room set and they would have given way in a minute! I don't think that I would have known what to do or say in that kind of situation! I have had some pretty heavy people in my home who have broken furniture and they were nowhere near that weight!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 09
I think you do the best you can and be a gracious hostess and a good friend. If he's to come visit often perhaps you may want to invest in a special chair that will accomodate his weight so he won't feel awkward. I know they must make furniture to accomodate larger men because in Japan you have the Sumo. Namaste- Anora
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
21 Mar 09
I have a couch and a love seat that would accommodate his weight, but he may have a hard time getting up from them because they sit cloe to the floor. I really don't know what I would do in that situation. I can only imagine what that man goes through everyday just to take care os his own daily grooming.
1 person likes this
• Brazil
21 Mar 09
My uncle weighs about 300 lbs, and I always tought he was huge but he never had any problems doing simple stuff. But wow 450 lbs is huge!! He must go through so much trouble to do simple things, must be horrible! I don't even know how I would accommodate him if he came to my apartment, my bathroom is really small...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
Hello Savypat, nice thing to treat your visitor. If he would come to our place, we would do treat him just the same as to what we do to our visitors. But just have to add more i guess. Like extra food, extra seat, all extra so that he would feel comfortable. It is really hard since i haven't experience someone visiting us which is double the size of a man, pardon me for that. But we will all treat visitors the same, no favoritism. Happy Mylotting!
@luvmysons (497)
• United States
21 Mar 09
I honestly dont know what I would have done. I guess my couch would be good for him. My biggest concern would have been if he is comfortable. I seriously think that he would not be able to use my bathroom because it is way to small for a 450lbs person
@HelloMickey (1663)
• Hong Kong
21 Mar 09
I never thought about this and I don't have that size of friend. My hubby is around 190lbs, and we don't need to prepare anything especially for him. If I do have that BIG friend visits my house, he/she can only sit on sofa that I am afraid I don't have a chair that can't bear this weight. ^.^