Asking for Advice from Older Members: "Things A 20-Year Old Should Know"

@inkyuboz (1288)
Mandaluyong City, Philippines
March 30, 2009 8:06pm CST
I have just turned 22 last August 2008 and I have felt that I still need some more life lessons and I don't think I know anyone in real life to teach me. Some people would say: "Just let 'experience' teach you..." but that's not what I really need right now. I would prefer someone who can tell me about things, I'd rather be on the hearing end and not on the doing end--- if you get my drift. So, anyone out there who can give me advice? I would gladly appreciate them. :)
2 people like this
11 responses
@Opal26 (17691)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Well inky first of all you need to ask a specific question before you can get a specific answer! Then you have explain the situation! You just can't expect to get someone to answer every question that you have to go through in your life! Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way! Do you think that we all were able to take those kinds of shortcuts? No, we had to figure most of our problems out ourselves! You can get a bit of guidance from your elders, but don't ever expect to get total answers!
1 person likes this
@inkyuboz (1288)
• Mandaluyong City, Philippines
31 Mar 09
I meant this as a general question though. Like what the other people has posted. I wanted to know about the things they have learned over the years, the things that they should have done in their 20's, the things that they have regretted and the things that they have learned lessons from. It can be about work, love, or life in general. I don't really want it to be very specific because I wanted to speak in behalf of all the 20somethings who are still struggling with their lives. Have good day Opal! Thanks for the response.
31 Mar 09
Here are some of the things I wish someone had told me when I was 22. 1. Love yourself even when others are not loving towards you...their lack of love towards you is a reflection on their own inability to love and not a reflection of how loveable you are. You are always loveable. 2. Always try to do things that you are proud of and try never to do anthing that you would be too ashamed to see written in large print in tomorrow's newspapers. Whenever you are not sure whether you should do something ask yourself how would I feel if what I were about to do were to be printed across the front pages of tomorrow's newspapers. 3. Just because the majority think something, does not mean they are right. Try to think for yourself regardless of what the majority view is. If the majority view goes against what you believe to be true, trust your own opinion. 4. Develop the habit of counting your blessings every day. It can be so easy to concentrate on what we don't have and ignore the many gifts we do have. The world is very materialistic and can make you feel you are nothing unless you become an accumulator of things. Seeing the value in the simple things of life can be of great benefit, especially when times are hard. 5. Spend time with role models and mentors you admire and try to learn from them. Whether you find those people in books, online or face to face in your every day life, they will have a positive effect on you. 6. Learn as much as you can about the power of positive thinking. Your mind is very powerful and will return to you what ever you put into it. In times of difficulty your ability to think positively can be just what you need to get you through the tough times that life inevitably brings from time to time. x
@inkyuboz (1288)
• Mandaluyong City, Philippines
31 Mar 09
Thanks for this wonderful contribution. I'm actually making a checklist now. I will try to get my life together before I get older... Have a nice day and again, thank you very much.
@coldmoon (1092)
• France
31 Mar 09
Here are my advices. Check if they suit the culture in your region. -If you don't keep control your desires, they will control you. -No matter how you are tired, sorrow or bored, the world won't wait for you. -Even you try your best to be loved, you can't force someone to love you. -Somebody may not love you in the way you want, but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you with all of his heart. -You have the right to be angry, but you can't be cruel. It's hard to keep your opinion without hurting someone else. -Learn to forgive people, including yourself. -It takes you much time to contribute a confidence, but you just need a second to destroy it. -A true hero doesn't step over others to satisfy his pride, he must be a one who hold others on his shoulders -Big dreams may never come true, don't waste all the precious things you're handling for them. -In the lifetime, there's no impasse. There're only limits and barriers, the problems is learning how to get through all. -If a person is so selfish that if each time he gives something to someone just to waiting for something else back, then he'll never lack of failures that he deserves.
1 person likes this
@inkyuboz (1288)
• Mandaluyong City, Philippines
31 Mar 09
Great advice coldmoon! Especially for this one: [i] "Big dreams may never come true, don't waste all the precious things you're handling for them..."[/i] I can definitely say that this piece of advice will come a looong way, even if I'm in my 30's, 40's or 50's. Thanks a lot.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
31 Mar 09
In your 20s, you are just starting out in your adult life. Yes, experience is probably the best teacher for most people, but there are some things that I think everyone should know. First of all, always show respect to others. If you give respect, you will gain it. Your attitude can help you or hurt you. If you display confidence and optimism, you are likely to get farther than you will if you are always showing low self-esteem and negativity. Think about it, would you rather be around someone who is upbeat and has the confidence to push towards goals, or someone who is always down in the dumps and complaining how things aren't going their way. Be careful though, you want to be confident, not arrogant. You are judgd on your appearance long before you actually speak to people. The first thing we notice about a person is their appearance. Think about it. You see a person walking along the roadside wearing raggedy clothes and in need of a haircut, chances are you will asume that person is homeless, or at the very least poor. If you see a woman dressed in tight clothes showing a lot of skin, you will form an opinion of her based on ahat she is wearing. If you see a person who is dressed in a nice suit, or dress you automatically get the impression that they are confident and successful. Take responsibility for your own actions. If something goes wrong in your day, sometimes, it is not avoidable, but more often than not, we are responsible for what has happened. All too often, people look to place the balme on others when the truth is, they are at least partially responsible. Mom always told me to be sure I could take care of myself and any kids I decided to have. She is right. Life can change in the blink of an eye. We should always be able to take care of ourselves. You may think that you have found the perfect guy, but that guy may end up being a real jerk in a few years. If you have allowed yourself to become dependent on him for financial support, what will happen to you when he is gone? I am sorry that this is so long, but I hope that the things I have told you are helpful. I am sure that if I sat here a few more minutes, I could think of a lot more to add because there are many things that a person in their 20s really should know. Are there any specific things you have questions about? Knowing exactly what you would like to know woud help me and other people here help you better.
1 person likes this
@inkyuboz (1288)
• Mandaluyong City, Philippines
31 Mar 09
Wow. I would have to bookmark this page because your words are THAT important to me. I really have no specific questions because I think you've got it all covered. Thank you so much for the thoughtful advice on life. I've read everything and I really feel I gained something from it.
@coolcoder (2020)
• United States
31 Mar 09
My piece of advice is simply this--that just because you're of drinking age doesn't mean you go completely crazy with your life. Don't ever change yourself just because of some guy--though he might be happy, you're going to be miserable because you aren't being true to who you are.
@inkyuboz (1288)
• Mandaluyong City, Philippines
31 Mar 09
I may have broken a rule. I drank wayyy before I reached my "drinking age".
@siomaiii (238)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
Advice?! Whatever happens in your life, always think that it is for your own advantage and benefit. Good things make you realize that you are blessed and you will give more value to the things that you already have. Not so good things, you will know yourself better. You know how to handle hardships and difficulties. And these will make you a better and a stronger individual. Continue to have faith in God! Never lose hope! Entrust your life to God!
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
1 Apr 09
I think the things one needs to learn are: Believe in yourself - you can be your greatest critic or supporter Make plans and goals to aim for in your future Remember people can change as they grow up dont hold a childhood grudge BUT also remember your actions now will be able to affect what can or cant do later in life. Education is important however so are life skills and friendships. Be open to change and learning new things. To be honest I'm only about 7 years older than you and i think i still have alot to learn...
@pals101 (2011)
• Philippines
31 Mar 09
I'm at my 20's as well, and yeah experience has taught me a lot. One thing i can only see, in life we always make mistake, we should learn to accept it and make as a challenge to be able to cope with it the next we face it..^_^
• United States
31 Mar 09
never give up your dreams for somebody else. i've put off too much in life for other people,and was repaid by being stabbed in the back.
• Philippines
31 Mar 09
I know in your age, there are a lot of things you want to do which you were not able to do during your teen years. But don't overdo it, Before making any major decisions in life asks advice from your elders.
@sbeauty (5871)
• United States
31 Mar 09
One thing you need to realize is that even though you are now an adult, you don't know everything there is to know. You will be learning all of your life, so enjoy all of the experiences you can while you're young. Life will go by very quickly, so live every minute to the fullest. Things won't always be rosy, so resign yourself to some bad times. Those times make you tough and resilient. Take your time finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and then make a commitment of making it work. A lasting marriage is something that you have to work at, even when it hits a rocky place. Your life is going to be what you make it, so get out there and take hold of it and direct it where you want to go. If you just allow yourself to drift along, someday you're going to regret it.