How do you view opinions that differ from yours?

@bayernfan (1430)
Canada
April 13, 2009 10:46pm CST
A member who posted in one of my other discussions posted some comments that made me think. This member had a unique take on opinions that differed from his and I wonder what other members' thoughts are. So, how do view opinions that are different from your own? Do you respect them despite their opposition to your own beliefs? Do appreciate the opportunity to hear other viewpoints or different ways of thinking about ideas? Perhaps you relish the challenge to debate someone on the other side of the argument? Are a variety of opinions the spice that makes a discussion interesting to you or maybe the source for what you find so upsetting?
4 people like this
22 responses
@scheng1 (24741)
• Singapore
14 Apr 09
Different opinions is good. Even when the opinion is so negative, it is still worth to listen to it. There is always a reason for anyone to think and feel certain ways. If you ask a happily married couples who are with each other more than 50 years, you will hear all the great reasons for getting married. If you speak to someone who suffers a few years of abuse from his or her spouse, you will hear very different opinion. So I think it's good to get some background information before making judgement. Once in my office, there was a Production Manager who was very hard to get along. Whenever someone made a comment on the factory, he blew up and snapped at the person. Sometimes he's so nice and jovial. I couldn't stand him and quarrel with him a few times in the meetings. Until a day someone informed me that his wife suffered from lung cancer for many years. He sold his property and paid for the medical bills, and he was very poor. A few times the hospital called him to go and "see his wife for the last time." Once I knew of his situation, I understood the reason for his unreasonableness.
1 person likes this
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
18 Apr 09
Everyone has a story. Our experiences in life shape our outlook. Understanding the circumstances that others find themselves in can provide the insight that can explain their behavior. Not everyone has the tools or skills to prevent their problems from effecting how they treat other people. This is particularly troubling when such a person happens to be your boss. Thanks for sharing.
@scheng1 (24741)
• Singapore
18 Apr 09
Surprisingly, it's much easier to know direct boss. Whenever I have disagreements with direct boss, I would ask the reasons for why he feel this way. Bosses like to talk and air their opinions, they are very happy when their subordinates think that they are very smart. Just a matter of how you tackle the questioning. If ask politely like "Can you give suggestions to help me improve?" sounds like much better "what makes you think so?" Sometimes just a simple question on "Is there a precedent?" or "How did you handle this while you were in junior position?" can trigger a very long discussion. It's an eye-opener for me!
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
21 Apr 09
Not everyone feels this way about their boss. This is actually the sign of a good and competent boss who is concerned about productivity and success. It takes a certain kind of personality to be the boss, and if you aren't confident or self-interested, then it isn't likely that you would have ever been given the position in the first place. Most people like to think that others find them impressive or important. A good superior doesn't let this desire cloud their judgment and has developed ways to cut through the bull. You are lucky. Not all bosses want to help or are capable of doing so. You have found an effective way of interacting with your boss. There certainly are protocols and correct ways to address superiors and ask questions. Even unwritten rules need to be followed.
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
14 Apr 09
Hi there! I am an open-minded person and I do accept the fact that everyone has their own opinion. If I have received opinions that differ from mine I respect them. I also don't argue or try to debate with anyone having a different opinion. I wouldn't insist that my idea is correct and their opinion is not. I believe everybody's views here are correct. But I will try to point out my side but not in a way to spark a debate. I would like to receive different opinions from my posts. It's much more interesting than having same opinions. Happy posting!
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
Well, it's great that you try to keep the peace. It's a different and completely valid approach to discussion. I don't believe that everyone's views, even everyone's views on myLot, are correct. Some people make factually incorrect, ill informed, or misleading comments. I don't think that there is anything wrong with debate and argument. They are good forms of mental stimulus and exercise. Debate and argument don't have to be equated with combat. I can understand why some people feel that way though. Cheers.
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
Yes I agree with you that debate is a good exercise for the brain. But others might interpret it as a fight so I try to be peaceful always. Ciao!
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
Yep. If you value your rating, you have to be careful on myLot. Members aren't supposed to rate your comments negatively just because of a disagreement with the content, but they do.
@Theresaaiza (10484)
• Australia
14 Apr 09
Initially, I feel upset that someone's opinion is different from mine. But sometimes, it depends on how his/her opposition was said. Some people can be offensive at times and those sort tends to more than just upset me. I am never the type to debate so I just respect that people will always differ in opinion. If i feel that his opinion is entirely wrong like for example, the statement is racist or sexist, or fallacious then I try to correct that person in the nicest way possible.
1 person likes this
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
15 Apr 09
I can understand someone getting upset when they feel offended. I find it interesting that you used the term "correct that person" instead of offer my opposing view. Just because you "feel" that someone is wrong, does not make it so. While terms like "racist" and "sexist" have negative connotations deemed by society to always be wrong, their application can be misleading. Finding statements "racist", "sexist" or "fallacious" is subjective and can differ from person to person. Statements can be taken out of context or outright misinterpreted. You mention that you "are never the type to debate". You certainly give me that impression and your own statements lead me to believe that you would rather judge. Judging others for their opinions, even if done in a friendly or nice way, isn't the same as if you "just respect that people will always differ in opinion". It's patronizing at best. Perhaps I have the wrong impression? Maybe you would like to elaborate on previous comments or offer new views in order to convince otherwise? Maybe there is a chance that you didn't intend your comments to mean how they sounded or how they were interpreted?
@Theresaaiza (10484)
• Australia
16 Apr 09
Hi, yes, thanks for that. I did learn something from you. And I apologize if I seemed to have given the wrong idea. What I meant by "try to correct that person" was pertaining to the fallacious, and not the racist/sexist,etc. (I am really sorry).For a racist/exist/biased remark, I do would rather respect the opinion and yes, offer my opposing view. For the fallacious however, it could also be that the person stated something of a misconception about something for which I know the true fact about it, then that would be the time I will have to correct the person inorder for that person to distinguish fact from fallacy or superstition, or enlighten the person of which is actually scientifically true. Like for example, there's a funny belief here that being a peeping tom causes an eye infection called sty. That's a myth or a fallacy or even superstition. In that case, I will have to correct. But of course, that is only the simplest example I could think of. Hehe.
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
There is no need to be sorry. When someone presents falsehoods or attempts to mislead, then it is imperative to provide the proof to the contrary. This is easy to do when it comes to facts and certitudes. It is unfortunate that myLot doesn't employ a quote feature to assist members with this. Opinions are a much trickier subject. Opinions are often beliefs, not presented as fact, which may never have a definitive answer for or against.
• Greece
14 Apr 09
different people have different views that makes them have different ipinions.so there will be an argument presenting their own point of views and the facts.better respect whatever it is anyway its just an ipinion its up to you if you keep it in mind or let it pass on your ears.extract the best and throw the nonsense.
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
You have made an excellent point christian1. When you listen, you have the option to absorb new ideas and incorporate useful information into your own knowledgebase. It's up to the individual to decide what's important to them and you are not forced to accept another person's opinions just because you choose to listen. Welcome to myLot and thanks for sharing.
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
You have made an excellent point christian1. When you listen, you have the option to absorb new ideas and incorporate useful information into your own knowledgebase. It's up to the individual to decide what's important to them and you are not forced to accept another person's opinions just because you choose to listen. Welcome to myLot and thanks for sharing.
• United States
14 Apr 09
Hello Bayernfan, The viewing of different opinions requires an open mind and willingness to listen. I generally respect peoples' opinions as long as they are constructive and not simply put-downs. So far I have not gotten any "cold" put-downs, but more constructive feedback on my work in Triond. I believe feedback that has an edge of personal opinions that are different to mine are better than simply the typical comment or supportive opinion, many of which aren't even sincere. For those that are sincere, I naturally appreciate them and that's great- but personal opinions are even better. Debating is fun but not necessary with someone's work, per say. A presidential debate, for example, is nonetheless fun and educational. Naturally, they get fiery and intense, but what are debates for? All in all, individual opinions are what builds foundations for successful work and lives. Without them, our work is significantly poorer quality, as are our lives. Regards, -Fresh Writing
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
21 Apr 09
Hello FW, Discussions/Conversations take place on a two-way street. Unfortunately some people are driving in cars that only have one gear, can't stop, turn or go in reverse. "Put-downs" aren't really opinions at all. There are an attempt to discredit through derision. While everyone is entitled to their personal opinion, personal opinion doesn't belong in all discussions. It's good to meet others who enjoy debating too. Cheers.
@jshekhar (1563)
• India
14 Apr 09
Hello Bayern fan! First of all, sorry about your club's Quarter Final game against Arsenal the other day. I hope they have a better night in the second leg. I would not be disturbed if someone opposes my opinion because that is the sole point of starting a discussion, isn't it, i.e. to take different opinions?
1 person likes this
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
21 Apr 09
It's unfortunate that I was unable to reply to your response sooner. I think that you meant Barcelona and Bayern's effors in the quarter finals of the Champions League this year were embarrassing. Hopefully they can pull through and take the Bundesliga title. Wolfsburg has a significant advantage and I'm sure that Hamburg will have something to say about that too. But I digress. Not everyone is interested in true discussion. Thanks for taking the time to offer your comments. Cheers.
@Yori88 (1468)
• Philippines
14 Apr 09
For me I am more excited if there are different views coming from members here. I like those who oppose but of course I like more those who agree. I like them more because I feel that I am not alone and that there are people who share the same things with me. I like it when people have the same sentiments as mine and they are fighting for the same belief. Anyway I pay respect to those with different views and I do not argue with them. Sometimes I may argue with them especially if they misinterpreted what I said or they gave a different or additional meaning to what my opinion is. I always want to make myself clear because arguments and violent reactions may arise. It gives excitement but sometimes it is annoying depending on how it was perceived by others. Anyway life is full of spices and we must all be wide minded so that we won't end up as losers.
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@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
21 Apr 09
Most people seek others that are like minded and spend the majority of their time with them. It is not that surprising that you do the same. It certainly is important to correct anyone who attempts to speak for you or put words in your mouth. Let them speak for themselves. Thanks for sharing.
@mikeysmom (2092)
• United States
14 Apr 09
i think everyone is entitled to their own opinions and views and i try to keep an open mind. we are never going to agree with everyone but you are right, sometimes someone elses view can give us a whole new perspective on an issue. it is good to get other people's point of view. i have a few so called friends who are always trying to shove their point of view down my throat though and i tend to not want to be around them.
1 person likes this
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
Attempting to force your opinion onto others never works. You will only call your own arguments even further into question when you resort to those methods. You can't change someone's beliefs/opinions by force. Oftentimes an attempt to force someone to change their views lends credence to counter claims. Convincing others requires facts, the truth, well thought out ideas, tested arguments and the skill to dissect and discredit opposing views. There is a reason why it is called the art of persuasion.
@hxstar (510)
• China
14 Apr 09
I respect others' opinions and understand that different people think in different ways,knowing this will help you feel better and can help you to have a right attitude towards others' opinions.I feel upset sometimes because it is human nature to want others' support.However,it is impossible to let others agree with you all the time.So take it naturally,think about why others think this way and maybe you ca learn a lot! Happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
This is a very good point. Learning how to deal with opposing views and learning how to handle criticism is a part of life. Expecting that everyone will conform to our needs or wants is a stage best left in infancy. Thanks for sharing.
@rakesh284 (1473)
• India
14 Apr 09
Well you are right we find sometimes different opinions which makes us think about different thinks also. Every one has different point of view and it matter to every discussion. I think one should always appreciate different opinions even if they don't like them at least appreciate it in front of others so that that person will feel fine. It is up to certain extent, otherwise some opinions are really hurting at that point we have be highly reactive.
1 person likes this
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
Respect and appreciation aren't the same thing. I don't have to appreciate your comments in order to respect your right to say them.
• India
14 Apr 09
As you said, I enjoy the different takes of people and it makes me think too…you know there are so many things I was unaware of till I came across mylot and it has been a thoroughly enriching experience for me. Some responses are definitely downright outrageous but then each to his own. However, one thing that I have noted is that human emotions and reactions to certain problems are same the world over…no matter where and how we live, we are all basically similar and that is very comforting indeed.
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@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
These are very interesting comments. I have experienced the opposite when it comes to people from different regions. Oftentimes we approach problems in dissimilar fashions and have unique personalities and cultures. The current worldwide recession is a good example of our disparate views on how to handle this sizable difficulty. American methods have certainly been at odds with the Germans and French. Russian responses have a flavor of their own. The Chinese and Brazilians have successfully handled their economies in their own image before the recession reared its ugly head, and their recommendations for how to solve the crisis certainly aren't echoes from Washington or elsewhere. MyLot brings together a large group of people from all over the globe who offer all sorts of different opinions and different perspectives. We are in agreement that this is where myLot gets its charm and it is what makes myLot so interesting. Thanks for responding.
@alankor (479)
• Singapore
14 Apr 09
I believe it is good to have different opinions.If all of us thinks the same way, there would be no room for creativity and improvements.I always like people to think differently from me.This shows that they are thinking individuals who do not follow the crowds.I respect their opinions and if we have to reach an agreement, we would try to work something out.I prefer a win/win situation and if that does not work out, we would go for a no deal case.Since we cannot work together, there is no point dragging on the whole issue.In that way, both parties realized they have tried their best and respect each others views.There is no need to spoil the relationship by affirming in your opinion.
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
15 Apr 09
In some places it's absolutely imperative that people have differing opinions. In the technology industry, differing opinions and opposing ideas can fuel innovation, solve problems and support thorough testing. When it comes to technology, mistakes are made and issues are overlooked when group think sets in or members of the team are afraid to offer ideas/opinions freely. A delicate balancing act takes place in relationships and in team environments. People definitely adopt mechanisms, not always consciously, to handle disagreements. An amicable understanding needs to be reached with those that we are required to interact with, even if differences in opinion remain, in order to avoid animosity. You have touched on some interesting ideas and made some excellent comments. Cheers.
• India
14 Apr 09
Well the first reaction of any human would be "How dare he oppose my views" - Thats human tendency and we cant help it, but as we grow up, we tend to take criticism and opposing views as an oppurtunity. An oppurtunity to know what others think and how we can put our points so that it convinces them. Some people do relish this sort of a challenge and i am one among them. But there are many who don't like their points being opposed and i believe that it would make you seem stupid on the long run!
1 person likes this
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
15 Apr 09
I try to avoid using sweeping generalizations. I can't speak for everyone and I have no way of proving what all people will do, so it's better to use many or most when you are sure about the majority's tendencies. That being said, I completely understand what you are saying. Human beings have some inherent characteristics. Your final comment is interesting. Some people think that those with opposing views are stupid and others think that those who can't accept/respect opposing views are stupid. Perhaps, that's not at all surprising...
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
14 Apr 09
I think it would be pretty boring if everyone agreed with my opinion. I enjoy a good disagreement as long as the other person will be respectful and has a good argument. Who knows I might change my opinion if they present a good argument. It is interesting to see what others think on a given subject.
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@cobra1368 (704)
• United States
14 Apr 09
I would have to say that while I do think having many different opinions is good, it depends on the topic as to whether I like other opinions or not. Some opinions are simply not well thought-out (some of mine included), and those deserve to be picked apart by someone that knows the topic better. On topics like dogs, wildlife, paleontology, evolution, and many other science topics, I am much quicker to jump on someone when they have a viewpoint that I know for a fact to be incorrect, outdated, or simply absurd. I also can't stand close-minded opinions. But then again, whose to say I'm not close-minded for taking such a stance?
• India
14 Apr 09
most of the times i respect the opinions from opposition.I compare those opinions with mine and accepts the ethical one.
1 person likes this
@hxstar (510)
• China
14 Apr 09
Well,it is hard to answer.It depends on your mood and who holds the different opinions I think.As it is human's nature to get angry if anyone is against his opinion,people will feel unhappy at first.But after a short time,many people will calm down and think about it aganin and try to control himself not to get angry.I am this kind of person.Now I can easily control myself because I know people are different and it is nature that someone is against me. Happy mylotting!
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@nympha687 (940)
• United States
14 Apr 09
Sure! It is important to respect others' opinions. It is also healthy to know other views.
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@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
15 Apr 09
I would welcome any kind of discussion that also accommodates contrasting points of views, even those points of views which are biased in tone. Sometimes, we get to encounter those that are simply straight forward while there are also others that would have that polite tone on giving their different point of view. I find the latter more convenient as it isn't accompanied with the emotion of the one stating their different point of view. Some bias points of views somehow go strike your own point of views with ridicule or insult. Those kinds of arguement are simply difficult to reconcile as it is obvious that the opposition would not relent with his or her ideas. After all, we could all agree to disagree on certain discussions. (^_^")
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
22 Apr 09
Not everyone is going to change their mind. Some may be unwilling to change their opinions no matter what is said. Others may claim to be receptive when the truth is that they are closed off. Learning to identify these people and adapting, or adopting measures, to deal with such occurrences is part of the skill set needed for debate/discussion. As you stated, in the end, sometimes we must agree to disagree. Cheers. ratyz.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
It is rather difficult to say to identify if a person is really open for different points of view or not at all until we get to really have a discourse with them. Its not really a matter of who gets to justify his or her opinions, though it is nice to feel that you have well grounded your stand as well as provided sufficient details to defend your opinion during the debate, arguments like that offer more than just determining whose words were convincing. One may change their opinion, find more angles to think over and perhaps even strengthen their ideas regarding what they have already been agreeing on from the very beginning (^_^")
• United States
15 Apr 09
It truthfully doesnt bother me when people have different opinions than what i do. I try to always use the motto that everyone has the right to their own opinion. Not saying that i always agree with them, but if thats how they feel, who am i to cut them down for that. Just as who are they to think down on me about what i think. Sometimes i think that's alot of what is wrong with alot of people in the world today.
@bayernfan (1430)
• Canada
22 Apr 09
There are certainly many world leaders who don't set a good example. Some demand deference from others while refusing to listen to anyone else who happens to have a difference of opinion. These hypocrites often flout the rules that they wish to apply to others.