should i get angry???

@riyasam (16582)
India
May 17, 2009 1:45am CST
i had expressed my desire to go to certain family friend place a few days ago but somehow the expenses were too much as a family and we dropped the idea!today my hubby called me up saying that he had to take a buisiness trip urgemtly and since our friends house was nearby,he visited them.(we cannot meet each other daily,due to his work profile,he has to stay at his parents place which is near his office.)
21 people like this
56 responses
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
17 May 09
If the business trip was his ultimate reason for going and it wasn't a ruse just so he could go and see these friends, then why get mad? He was in the area anyway, so why shouldn't he go and see them? If anything, it probably would have been rude for him NOT to see them while he was nearby. IF the business trip was all made up as an excuse to see these friends, then yes, I'd be pretty pissed off! Until you're 100% sure which is the case here, I wouldn't act rashly.
3 people like this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
17 May 09
yup,i have learnt that in some cases silence is golden,but sure i am a wee bit dissapointed as this was totally unexpected and so out of the blue!
2 people like this
@James72 (26832)
• Australia
17 May 09
You sing it Sister! We should NEVER make snap judgements on anything without first having the facts. There's a far lesser chance of us having to remove feet from our mouths if we do this. lol.
2 people like this
@srganesh (6349)
• India
17 May 09
If he did not tell you and you find out that he had visited the friend's house,you can be angry.Now,as he was on a business trip nearer to your friend's place,it was not intentional to avoid you.So,remain cool.Cheers!
@riyasam (16582)
• India
17 May 09
ya,it sure wasnt intentional(it was a un expected buisness trip, but i sure felt a wee bit dissappointed.
2 people like this
• India
17 May 09
Why the hell you want to be angry?The visit was canceled due to financial constraints and you been party to that decision. Now you husband visited that place due to Business trip , so I guess these things do happen.
@riyasam (16582)
• India
17 May 09
yup,you are right,but due to the dissappointment.i cant help feeling a bit miffed.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
17 May 09
Anger doesn't solve the problem. There are always obstacles in life. Obstacles like you are facing now, unable to visit your friend because of some difficulties should be taken as a call to strengthen not quit. Anger will only weaken you but obstacles test your patience and discover things about yourself that you never knew.
2 people like this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
17 May 09
you are right zandi.life does teach me many things through experience.
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5424)
• Philippines
17 May 09
Hi there! If I'm in your shoe I will not be angry at my husband. The reason was clear why he has to stay at his parents' place and it's because of his work. Since the house is near your friend's house he can visit them while on a business trip. I'm sure it wasn't planned by your husband not to bring you along to the trip. It just so happened that your friend's house is nearby. I will be sad of course, but not angry. Ciao!
2 people like this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
17 May 09
sure dear,i was sad,it was a sort of a jolt as it was so unexpected.
1 person likes this
@faisai (1140)
• Hong Kong
17 May 09
Let me get this straight, you are asking whether you should be angry because your hubby need to go on a business trip urgently which so happen is near your friends house and he commit to visit them? Well, I will say that it is just a coincidence that he will be visiting your friend and if it were me, I won't feel angry but just a little bit disappointed if I can't go with him.
2 people like this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
17 May 09
ya sure,i was dissapointed in the first instance itself,i was hoping to to find out a way to go!
2 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
17 May 09
I think if you are angry you are justified. Its not about going there as its about informing you before hand. He found it convenient since he was visiting the place on official tour but it doesn't take much to tell you about his plans, does it? i am extremely sensitive about such issues. I feel, all this could be avoided just be being little more open. And Mable, you have every reason to hang up on him for a while...
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
17 May 09
thanks mimpi,even i think he should have taken the pains to inform me,if i was in his shoe ,i would have surely informed him or would have entrusted someone to pass on the message,why shouldnt i expect him to do the same???(i felt he was taking me for granted)
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
17 May 09
I sure understand you. Had I been there in your place, I would have thrown tantrums. He did not do something which is appreciable. Even if its not intentional, he must have taken an extra effort. I do not know why people take things as granted!
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
17 May 09
Hey mimpi, now why are you rubbing it in?That poor man had made sudden plans and it was a business trip which he had to take up urgently.As such she had agreed to the plan of doing it later, for other considerations. Even if he tells her later, nothing great is lost.She is staying in her parents' place with children and for this sake she cannot anyhow make it to her husband's place.Friend can wait; must not get disppointed and angry with husband poor thing!
1 person likes this
@ronit_mat (180)
• India
20 May 09
Well you do have a right to be angry. Your husband should have taken you with him but as you said it was urgent. Even so he should have told you he was going close to that friends house. Since you and your husband stay apart it would have been a good oppurtunity for the two of you to do both things meaning you could have met your friends and you could have stayed over at your in laws place as well for a few days to spend some time with your husband. You could have killed two birds with one stone
@riyasam (16582)
• India
21 May 09
i did feel dissappointed as things could have been handled differently , anyways hanks for sharing,have a nice day.
• India
21 May 09
Maybe you will be able to do things differently. You are welcome. Happy mylotting.
@dpk262006 (54659)
• Delhi, India
20 May 09
No, I do not think that there is any point in getting angry. If he could kill two birds with one stone, then in fact he saved the money. I think you are feeling bad, because you could not go.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
21 May 09
maybe deepak but it would have been so much betterif i was told before hand!
@dpk262006 (54659)
• Delhi, India
21 May 09
Yes, you are right. But you cannot reverse the scenario, so please let it go. Please tell him your argument/thoughts, so that next time he could be more careful.
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
19 May 09
gee I do not know what to tell you hon, this is your call,
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
19 May 09
thanks for dropping by,havve a nice day
@MsTickle (25014)
• Australia
24 May 09
How lovely to see your kindness and sensitivity manifest themselves in such a quality response. What a charmer you are as usual winter.
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
18 May 09
I don't think you should get angry. He at least told you. I can understand the disappointment, as we don't have much money to visit people either. Times are hard, but we have to stick together. Especially family. Take care.
@riyasam (16582)
• India
18 May 09
thanks for sharing,have a great day.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
18 May 09
Your welcome, you have a great day too. Take care.
@amirev777 (2552)
• India
18 May 09
hi yeah even i wud b a bit disappointed-but not angry as such.ur hubby had to go on a business trip-which he cannot surely avoid-but then it was pure coincidence that ur friends house was closw by.but then u can alwayz plan next time.where does ur friend stay?somewhere abroad? but i must admit that it must b quite difficult for both of u all since u cannnot meet daily.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
18 May 09
my friends house is in pune and the trip for us as a family(daughter,son,myself and hubby)would prove to be very expensive,so i thought of avoiding it!
@amirev777 (2552)
• India
19 May 09
hi i thought you are based in mumbai-in that case, it shudnt be too expensive. but yes going to some place abroad would surely b an expensive proposition.hopefully u will b able to plan ur vist to pune not too far in the future.
• India
18 May 09
Hello my friend riyasam Ji, There is a very small room for you to act that very way, but there is a hope of escaping through back door as well, if you do so, I am sure, it would pay you dividend. So sustain till then. God will provide you ample chances to pay your hubby in same coins. May God bless You and have a great time.
@riyasam (16582)
• India
18 May 09
i do agree that i do want to pay him back in the same coin.even he should understand how i felt!
• India
18 May 09
Hello my friend riyasam Ji, Have patience. May god bless You and have a great time.
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
17 May 09
i'm sure not one to advise a person on a relationshio w/their husband but i'd be ticked. of course u have a husband & i don't.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
18 May 09
you are sure right,i was miffed bt then i was not sure of my feelings,that is why i had to put it across you.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
18 May 09
anytime u are going to be dealing w/a man u are going to be miffed alot of the time.
1 person likes this
@jpso138 (7844)
• Philippines
17 May 09
I do not see any reason for you to get angry. Perhaps you just feel sad considering that you were not able to go. But obviously your husband is not at fault. He is only doing his job. Maybe perhaps in some other time, when the financial aspect permits you will be able to visit your friend together with your husband.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
17 May 09
thats what my hubby tells too,he told we will make a trip later.........
@jpso138 (7844)
• Philippines
18 May 09
I think that would be a great idea, when the time permits and of course considering also the financial situation. I am sure that you will have that time later on. Best to you.
@elitess (5077)
• Ipswich, England
26 Nov 09
7 months back... well i am a bit sorry i missed this topic and i am sure if you were angry it has already past by now. Anyway you were probably right to be upset in this case, but in the end you had to let it go as it wasn't such a big deal i guess... perhaps you should visit him as well knowing your hubby is at work in the time you have free ? It's pretty difficult having to live separately because of work i reckon...
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
26 Nov 09
well,as you said,i was sure upset but i had to let the incident pass so as to have peace but then i did let him know by some actions of mine that i didnot like his approach.
@EliteUser (3971)
• Australia
30 Sep 09
Hey, No I don't really think you should get angry, it isn't really that much of a big matter. I know some people who get really angry for almost nothing, and it isn't really worth it though. I hardly even get angry most days. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
30 Oct 09
my anger has abated long time ago,you are right,it is foolishness to get angry!
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
23 May 09
Hello riyasam, I don't get you clearly. I don't understand why you need to get angry and whom you are angry at? If your husband had to take a business trip, I do believe the expenses will be borne by his company right? If he decided to take times and visit the friend's house without you, I don't think it is something that you should be angry. I understand that you can't go with him but as you said, the expenses is just too much for both of you to bear for the time being. Maybe I got it wrong here...
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
26 May 09
nopes,you got it right,have a nice day.
1 person likes this
• India
20 May 09
really yaar your saying is not correct yes i agree that this feeling can arise in your mind but at that time you were just going for a holiday and that to with great expenses so in your hubby case you are basically going on a business trip and on that if his friend home is near by than you can go yaar because you are doing two things simultaneously and that too of profit. so please never take your hubby in a wrong way and try to understand him that under what circumstances he is not taking you. bye take care
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
21 May 09
thanks for sharing,have a nice day.
@harmonee (1236)
• United States
19 May 09
I would understand if you felt a little jealous, but I don't think it's fair to be angry if your husbands reason for traveling was business. All his expenses would have been paid for by his company. It's not like he just took off during the weekend and went without you and the rest of the family out of pocket. Hopefully you will be able to go visit your friends soon as well. Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16582)
• India
20 May 09
thanks for sharing,have a nice day.