Why are people such a*******s!

I hope all the reponses are making you feel a little better. I was feeling pretty low myself, and then I saw your post and thought how similar it was to how I was feeling. People that don't listen to you, or who talk and talk (or write and write) and yet never acknowledge your efforts to communicate with them, are generally very self-focused people. Everything is about THEM. They don't or can't respond to you because you are not in the equation. I think it bothers people like you and I because you give and give, you listen and listen, you commiserate and commiserate, you concede and concede, but when you need a little refueling yourself from time to time, these people are either clueless, or just don't care. They want to suck every ounce of your attention, but they are consumers, not givers. Once you give, you are discarded, like an empty juice box. I have several people in my life who talk and talk about themselves endlessly, but when you try to put a word in edgewise, they go off on another tangent. Or they ignore, or don't hear you. There are a few here on the Lot, too, so beware! My encouragement to you, and advice to myself, is talk to other givers. I like interchange. I like conversation. Which is a two way street. Ignore the suckers as best you can, and you'll get the feedback you need. You deserve to be heard and appreciated just like anyone else. Hope you feel a bit better. :) ( I haven't earned my smilies yet!)

It is important to remind ourselves that we all have flaws. Some we are aware of, some we're not. And if we're not willing to look at them in the light of people who know us well and care about us, we'll never improve upon them. If we have the courage to face up to human flaws, we'd become better persons for it. Sometimes it happen to me personally when am listening when my spouse starts talking about certain political personality or his business deal. I don't find it particularly interesting so I don't listen attentively and find an excuse to go do something else. Of course he is mad when he didn't have a willing ears to listen to him but that is my weak point. I often forget to put myself in the place of the other person. Humility, patience and empathy are difficult virtues to develop.

I don't know... I don't know... I don't know... Only you know... or perhaps you don't. Since you are a writer... you probably know a few more things than the average person. That is a good thing. But if you use that knowledge in the wrong way... your family could be under the impression that you look down on them and regard them as stupid. I have a sister who is a "know it all"... even so I know a lot more than she does. But she goes around giving advice to everyone... even me. And in doing so... she alienates everybody. They don't tell her... they tell me. lol She is a very nice person and only mean well. She simply don't realise that people don't want to have her giving them advice on everything. But since I stopped her giving me advice... she now has nothing to talk about when I get her on the phone. lol I had a quick look at your website... but it is to slow for my dial up connection. If you are interested... I joined a private forum recently with a few writers from mylot.

Hi Paula, I am sorry to hear that you feel you are not being listened too. I have experienced being invisible at a check out in a shop many a time but usually my friends and family do listen so can't relate on that level. I would stop talking to any of them and I bet they will all ask you what is up and I would tell them too that as you don't feel listened to you have stop bothering trying to talk to them and let them know how they are making you feel. It maybe that they don't even realise they are doing this. Good luck, don't know any jokes though I am afraid. Huggles. Ellie :D

Paula- I just saw your post this morning in my email box, and it breaks my heart to know you are feeling so isolated today. I think we've all had these feelings, so in this you are not alone. The funniest thing yesterday was my daughter. She was crawling so quickly that she got caught up in her own limbs and went head over heels into the floor. She just had this look of indigination and then went on about her business. The best piece of advise I can give you during this moment is to always hold your head high. Don't let anyone make you feel that you're less than them. You are just as worthy. Namaste-Anora

I had faced this problem many times. This doesn't mean that you are boring. It just shows that your parents are not interested in the issue that you talk about. Only solution to this problem is, you should talk right matters to right people. For instance, I tackle this problem as follows: 1. I talk about my education with my parents. 2. About my love affair with my friends. 3. About science with my friends who are interested in science. 4. About politics with my friends with political interest... and so on Try this...

Been there many times with people in my life, both on my immediate family and many times my husbands family, as well as others I know, and many times it can be quite annoying and frustrating as well. I often think that there are times that it would be Better if they would let you know they are not interested instead of pretend to be listening and paying attention when in reality they are wishing you were not around so they could think about or do something else. But in reality, I really wish it could be different for sure.

I think we all have days when even the usual gets us down. It seems that the being ignored is really hurtful on those days. I sometime feel like the kids poem that goes Nobody likes me Every body hates me So I guess I'll go eat worms. Big fat juicy one little tine juicy ones. I never figured out how eating worms was supposed to hurt any one around you but it is good for a laugh.

You know, if I knew the answer to this discussion then I would definitely tell you it because I experience this type of thing all the time. It starts with being at home. My mother for some odd reason looks like she's listening to me but I can tell by looking at her face that half the time she has no idea what I am saying. Then, when I ask her, she says I'm not sure what you were saying so I have to repeat myself. That's why I've given up on repeating myself. My grandfather is constantly berating my mother and my mother attacks him as well. Being at home is like being in the middle of a never ending war in which there is never a solution for the problem. I'm constantly put into the middle of the conflict and it's gotten rather old. I'm tired of being told things that I hear all the time and half of it isn't true. I'm also tired of being told that I must enjoy the conflict because I keep it going. They're both creating it and it's old. And, don't get me started on the roommates that I've lived with in the past. They're terrible. They made our lives terrible while we lived with them. They were nice to our faces, mean behind our backs. They told lies, started drama, treated us like crap, you know all of that wonderful stuff. People are terrible. I'm not sure why they are but I wish I knew. It's getting old.

Hi Paula, I wish I knew what to tell you but being that I've been there with my own mother it is very painful. I can tell you this though, when it happens again, stop what you're saying and do not finish it but get up and walk out the door. I'm serious. My mother treated me like sh!t for a long long time off and on with no apparent reason. Finally I had had enough and we had a few all out battles and now she knows I won't take any more. We get along great now but the damage has been done to my heart to the point that I can't trust her anymore. I do love her to the end of the world and will do anything for her but I can't give her my heart and feelings on a silver platter and trust her to keep them safe. I just can't but I can still love and do for her. As for that hubby of yours, he's wrong in doing that to you and you need to tell him so. Tell him exactly what you said here and see what kind of answer you get. Who knows, it might be the answer that tells you what to do. Bless your heart, I wish I had some words of cheer but I don't know anything funny right off the top of my head but did want to let you know that you're not alone. There's so many in this world who are in the same boat as you and I but there are others that DO care and I'm one of them. Hugs!!

Hi Paula, I didn't know that you were so depressed! c'mon gal chear up. Life has its own way of treating us. Everyone is busy these days and one should find small small things to smile and laugh, otherwise there are thousand ways to get sad in our life. I was the same in my teen age. I always wanted my parents to listen to me, I always wanted to be a centre point in my college but all the time I was thinking of how to achieve that but never actually had one single plan. Later on I figured out that if you be yourself and start enjoying your life as it is coming to you, you will automatically feel that every one is giving importance to you. Do you like watching a sad or crying face all the time? No, same with other people. Smile and let other people feel happy with your face! Ah, I can't see a smile on your face. Na, a little wider though. More, please... Com on you can do.. Here it is.. never let it go away from your face! Nice little girl.

i really do not know. there are just people who does not care if they hurt other people's feelings or they just do not really care at all!

Hi paula! Try to remember that most of these things that you mentioned are actually other peoples problems. They act indifferent or annoyed because of something that is within themselves and not so much to do with you. I have felt isolated and uncared for before and it's a terrible way to feel. People are often so caught up in their own problems that they forget how to be kind. The cashier..well..she probably hates her job..not you. The man at the stop sign..he's mad at himself for leaving late and taking it out on everyone in front of him. I don't have any jokes to cheer you up but I can say I don't think your boring at all. I think your very witty and fun. I hate that the people around you are so caught up in other things to realize they are missing out on you. Take care and heads up my friend.