Is a wedding just a big show?

United States
June 1, 2009 3:05pm CST
So, a couple is getting married, and they are going to invited everyone they know, and throw a big party somewhere elegant. Everyone just come over and give their blessings. Would you view it as a big show to let everyone know that this 2 persons getting married is official? I had joined many wedding parties before, and it seems like a show to me. A public get together type of event. Don't you agree?
3 people like this
19 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
1 Jun 09
I don't feel that that is all a wedding is about. I feel that a wedding is a celebration and a time for friends and family to celebrate the joining of two souls. I also believe it's a ceremony before god. Some weddings have less then 100 people, we're expecting less than 100 people at mine and my fiance's wedding and they are all family or friends.
1 person likes this
@Glow1971 (354)
• Spain
2 Jun 09
I think that if you have the money, it's okay to make a big event of your wedding. The problem here is there are so many people who have expensive weddings and the bad part about it is most of them are not able to afford it. They pay their wedding with credit cards or loans and I don't feel you should have such a huge wedding if you really and truly can't afford it. In the case of borrowing money for your wedding, i would have to say it's for show. I think no matter how huge or how small your wedding is, it's official and the only important thing is that the couple love each other. I say don't make a big fuss about it, take the money and go get married somewhere tropical. That's my opinion about that.
• China
2 Jun 09
i totally agree with you, nice sharing!!
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
20 Jun 09
there are a lot of marriages wherein it is almost hilarious to think that they can afford such an event. believe me but i feel uncomfortable to attend such marriages for i know somebody really suffered (or would suffer) because of the expenses. anyone can get married without such a fanfare and unthought of grandiosity.
@maezee (32236)
• United States
20 Jun 09
I guess it depends on the bride and grooms' feelings. A lot of people find that they feel they have to spend a ridiculous amount of money on the ceremony/reception and invite TONS of people - but personally, I would probably rather have a more low-key and more personal wedding. I think it can be a show, or it can be a very personal experience, depending on what the wedding is like!
• Philippines
19 Jun 09
I don't think it is just a show or the couple just want to show off or something like that. For me having a grand or small wedding depends on what a couple really want. I want to have a small wedding, an intimate one with family and close friends as guests maybe 30 persons the most. But my fiance often say that a wedding is a once in a lifetime experience (since we do not have divorce in the Philippines) so he is planning to have a grand one. Not that we're inviting all the people we know and acquainted to but he really want all his friends and relatives to witness our wedding and he's willing to spend a lot for it. So in order for us to meet half way we've decided to have an intimate wedding with a very good photographer to capture everything in the ceremony and just have a post wedding celebration for our friends and relatives and show them the wedding pictures and the video coverage of the ceremony.
@wakinsey (141)
• United States
8 Jun 09
To me, weddings are a matter of tradition and society teachings. Most girls are taught early in life that they should get get married and have a wedding. A large portion of their life is centered around grooming them for this special day. My wife didn't want a wedding so we eloped and got married on the beaches of Key West.
@glesil_00 (1147)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
I do not view it as a show. Marriage is a celebration of two person as a couple and time for friends family to celebrate once in their life and to the couples too this one time event in their life. Spending time and money in order to have this is a feeling of satisfaction that at last, You are in the day of your dream the wedding.
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
mmmmmmmmm...i don't think so. maybe for some it looks like a show but just for some. for me, our wedding day is really a big event in our lives...a life changing event i think that deserves to celebrate! it will happen just once in our life so if we can, why not celebrate it big?! this is the time when you will be united into one to your love...a time that you will cherish forever and when you get old, when you remember this event...its really a good memory to remember... but i'm not saying that wedding should always be that big...celebrate weddings just in proportion on what you have...there are some that borrows money just to have a big celebration...that i think is not good, a celebration can be simple but memorable... and for me a more private ceremony is much better where just our family and close friends are there... but the most important thing to remember is the value of marriage, its sacredness, the vows we received and give during our wedding day! have a nice day! :-)
• United States
2 Jun 09
A wedding is a celebration for a couple who want to share the day with family and friends. I don't think that I would call it a show. I guess in some respects it is, but many people don't go to all the expense but still want to share it with their friends and family. I would have to say no to this question because I see it more as a celebration of the union. It's much like when a woman has become pregnant. The joy of having a new baby on the way is cause for celbration so we throw baby showers and everyone comes to see the new baby and then as the child grows, we celebrate birthday parties for their special day. It's all about celebrating something tremendous in your life with those that you love the most.
@raakhee (54)
• Qatar
2 Jun 09
weddings are are big affair in my country,india.months of planning lead to the big day.families compete with each other to show off their wealth and extravagance in terms of gold,marriage venue,bridal trousseau,etc.and since children grow up witnessing and being a part of such big fat indian weddings,almost 90% of them hope to have a bigger one of their own when their time comes.my wedding's coming up next month and our invitees list has already hit 1100!and this is just family and friends on the bride's side,mind you ;-) it's the biggest and most important day in a girl's life as marriages are just made once in india. 2nd,3rd,4th..... marriages are not as acknowledged as the first one is. from since i can remember,i didn't want to just get married....i wanted to have a real wedding(in the words of Katherine Heigl from '27 Dresses')i wanted my wedding to be a real grand affair and i'm thankful to God and my parents for whatever they're doing to make my dream come true :-)
• Romania
2 Jun 09
Yes i agree but it supposed to be more than a simple party
@zzyw87 (1260)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
Yes, I agree with you. Weddings should be intimate. Guests should only be the ones who are really people you love and who are loyal to you. They should be the ones who are really close to you and with whom you have a deep bond with like a few friends and your family and relatives. The venue or reception need not be grand or expensive too. It could be as simple as in your backyard or a small restaurant. What is being celebrated is the love and union of two people. It should not be an event for showing off how popular or how rich you are.
@coolchai (700)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
hi there, wedding i a sacred sacrament, its meant to bind 2 people together in the eyes of our creator. however i agree with you that some people splurge for their weddings and end up separated, why? because they do not know the true meaning of marriage. a wedding is not a party! it must be celebrated in such a manner that only close friends are invited and only minimal sponsors are chosen who can really help the couple. now weddings are commercialized.
@sweetyethot (1738)
• China
2 Jun 09
I couldn't agree with you more.For me,I wouldnt like my wedding that way.I prefer a small wedding party.Thus I can hold some intimate talks with my dear friends and family members.
• United States
1 Jun 09
A wedding is in fact a party, but a more matrimonial ceremony instead. It is holy as well and for a marriage to be legit, it has to be done by a priest who sometimes only does it at weddings and won't do just getting hitched.
@mermaidivy (15417)
• United States
1 Jun 09
To me, it is such a big thing although I didn't have one which was a big regret in my life... I think it is an opportunity to announce you and your spouse are getting married, l;et everybody knows, let them give blessings to you and your spouse, be happy for you two. Or for somebody that participates the wedding might think they are hosting a show but I think the groom and bride must feel very sweet and happy that they are getting married, that's what I believe.
@meandmy3 (2229)
• United States
1 Jun 09
So many people get so caught up in the "wedding" that they do not give much thought to the actual marriage or what it takes to make sure that a marriage can make it. To me a wedding should be family and close friends, it should not be everyone you know, yes it is a celebration, a celebration of your commitment and love that you share. but do you really share that with someone you barely know.
@jayrene (2713)
• Philippines
1 Jun 09
i think so too... i have known a lot of people here, and have attended so many wedding parties, and most couple have so many debts because of it. it got me to thinking why have a big wedding when you dont have that much money for it and owe a lot of people so you can celebrate it extravagantly... for me that kind of thing is just a big show... i understand that it is a special event in a couple's life but they should prepare well for it. then after the wedding, they have problems where and how to get the money to pay for the people they owe. more like show off sometimes the weddings i attend are not that solemn anymore because its more of how big it is and how much was spent... but there were other weddings, that i have attended that was really good, not that simple but solemn, few people got invited only, their close friends and family members, that was really nice...
• United States
1 Jun 09
I totally agree. When I married my ex-husband, we wanted to elope to Tennessee. Needless to say, that didn't happen. My aunts had other plans for us. They wanted the big wedding with even bigger reception. I finally agreed. We had the wedding, cut the cake, and then my new husband and I quietly slipped off and went on our honeymoon....in Tennessee. We left the big party to everyone else. I was two months pregnant at the time, and couldn't do much partying anyway. And I hate to be the only sober one at a party. I don't drink anymore, but I hated it back then. Now, my fiance (the guy in the pic) and I are going to elope. We want to get married barefoot on the beach. No one even knows that we are engaged. I don't want a repeat of last time.