what should i do now? i felt so sad

China
June 16, 2009 11:40pm CST
i quarreled with my BF last week because i found one of his diary by accident all the contents he writes in the diary is about he can't forgot his last GF though they had already broken up.since that girl is his frist love and they are be in together 3 years.so he felt sad when think about her. after saw this i felt so angry then i asked him whether all the words huewrites are true.he said yes and apologise to me.he said he can't absolutelly forgot his frist love in a short period of time and hope me understand it.but he'll adjust himself soon for me. now his love is me.he's only have a cherish of memory of that girl. though he had explained to me but i still felt angry so i ingored him for a week. till yesterday morning.when i bought something with my friends at street i saw an unexpectedly scene.he and his last GF.they entered a restaurant together hand in hand.i was shocked and in emotional collapse. i don't know what should i do now.i want to break up with him and scold him loudly. but i can't decided to do this as i really love he,i can't make up my mind. i treat him with true heart.i feel i can't put him down.
2 people like this
24 responses
• China
18 Jun 09
I feel sorry for your sad experience. Believe me, it's not your fault. I can fully understand your feelings because I was once also in relationship with a guy who told me he just couldn't forget his ex-GF. When I heard that, I was so furious that I decided to break up with him immediately. I did it. He was shocked at first, keeping asking me why. You know it's no use explaining to him who just treated love as a game. After that, I thought what I did was right. He was not the right guy for me. So I'd better forget about him and wait for my Mr. Right. I'm lucky. He did appear sometime later and he loved me wholeheartedly. I feel safe and warm with him, never worrying about his ex-GF. A lot of people just neglect the happiness around them. When they realize it, they have lost it. So we'd better cherish what we have now. Your boyfriend can't deserve you. What you should do is to break up with him and look for your true love. Don't waste time and energy on him anymore. Even if he comes back to you, he may do such a thing to you in the future as he's doing now. Skitty, don't hesistate. You'll find you make the right choice after you do that.
@haiershen (1084)
• China
18 Jun 09
i know you fell awful right now.if i were you, i will give a chance for him, to site down and talk clearly,who is the guy realy loves.what has happened to him, why he entered a restaurant together hand in hand with ex-gf, if he often love his ex-gf,left him and begin a new life.i know lose loves is very sad,but it is better than unhappiness after married,take a cry,then have a traveling is a good way.good luck and have a nice day!
@daryljane (3439)
• Philippines
18 Jun 09
You cant get into a relationship with someone who has hang ups about his past. Because you are bound to ger hurt along the way. If he still feels something for his ex-girlfriend, i think the best way to do, even if you get hurt along the process is let him go. Give him space, just be ready with the consequence. Because he may go back to the old flame leaving you for good, or he might realize that your worth it. Thi is going to be hard but you just have to be ready and be strong. Sometimes we have to take a lot of risk..who knows this might the real source of happiness. Right now, you are dealing with a guy that some sort of 2 personality. One side of him wanted you so much and wanted to be with you and the other side is still living in the past and cant get out. Lets just hope youre still there when he finally gets out and realize that he wants you all along. Good luck!
@gailie (32)
• Suriname
18 Jun 09
Hai Princesskitty, i am sorry to hear this. Yes i understand you completely. You don't know whether you should continue your relationship with him or not. Since you are the only person who can really understand the situation, you do what feels good to you. But i hope that you consider that there is a redflag! the fact that he walks hand in hand could be a sign that HE still thinks of getting back together with this girl. OR it was just a weak moment. maybe he needed closure. if he apologized and told u that he wants you and that she is just the past. than maybe you could forgive him. But how long are you two together? are did u already talk it tru?
• United States
18 Jun 09
You saw him with his ex-girlfriend. They were holding hands going into a restaurant together. If it were me, I'd break up with him. But do you truly love him? There are other guys. He is cheating on you. If you really love him confront him. Let him tell you his side of the story. If he cares about you enough to tell the truth, maybe you can work things out. But otherwise, he's not worth the pain. Think about yourself. Give him what he truly deserves.
• United States
18 Jun 09
I would definatly break up with him! Especially if you have seen for yourself he was walking hand-in-hand with his X. Clearly he wasn't just dwelling on memories of his first love he was working on rekindling things with her & possibly having his "cake and eating it too". As the old addage goes "if you let them go and come back it was ment to be" so let him go and if he comes back then you know he still cares about you.
• Portugal
18 Jun 09
Hi princesskitty. ^^ I'm sorry to hear that. I would like to suggest that if you're gonna talk to him, try to be calm. I knew how you really feel coz I've been there too before. Handle the conversation in a gracefull manner, girl. I know you can do it. Talk to him heart to heart. Accept the fact if he still loves his ex GF. Open your eyes to the truth. If you feel that he still love her. Let him go. Let him be happy. I know it hurts you but you have to... He's not the only one in this world, girl. Cheer up^^ You can still find someone worthy for your love and care. A worthy one who can love you more than his 'affection' for you. Move on... it's not yet the end of the world for you. There are lots of great things ahead of you... Let the time heal the wound in your heart. Keep on sailing princesskitty. *wink *wink :) Hope you all the best!
@Ruby722 (798)
• China
18 Jun 09
Oh god. I do really hate this kinds of guy,he still together with you but in other way he is dating his ex- Grilfriend.how horrible it is.l know maybe you love him deeply and you can't put him down immediately.pls thinkg about it carefully.if he still love that girl.you just waste of your time.I am sorry it's all my own opinion i hope you don't mind.you deserve to get a real love,which man cherish you Good luck to you.saty or leave it's up to you,
• Philippines
18 Jun 09
it really hurts knowing your bf still love his ex-gf.. talk to him, but don'tg scold him.. just be calm, if you want to cry justg let it flow.. let him realize what your love for him worth.. but if he insisted his feelings for his previous love, let him go.. you'll find someone better than him.. who'll love you more.. just pray for guidance so you'll never regret your decisions .. :) LOVE HURTS.......
@lingli_78 (12845)
• Australia
17 Jun 09
i am so sorry to hear about what is happening in your relationship... but i think your bf is also unhappy that you read his diary without his consent as it is a private thing... i won't be too happy as well if my hubby read my diary behind my back... may be that is one of the reason he is cheating by going back to his ex... you need to sit down with him and talk things over like adults... if it doesn't work out, you just need to let him go and move on with your life... i wish you all the best... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@Ithink (10607)
• United States
17 Jun 09
Well obviously sorry to say this but he lied right to your face when you asked him about her. He isnt true to you as he is seeing her still. The best thing is to break up and never look back. I say this because he lied and he is still seeing her behind your back. You cant build a relationship with someone like that.
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
17 Jun 09
Maybe it is time to grow up and stop playing games. You cannot accidentally look through someone elses diary. And what man keeps a diary? I never heard of a man doing that. You said you ignored him for a week? Maybe he thought you had dumped him. Or maybe he was seeing here all along and you are just his piece on the side. It does not sound like a mature loving relationship to build a future on to me.
@mermaidivy (15416)
• United States
17 Jun 09
I'm sure you feel pretty awful right now :-( I think if I were you, I would not know what to do too because 1) He will probably be mad if he knows you look at his diary even you just looked by accident. 2) Will you just ask him directly or try to test him questions about his ex-girlfriend? 3) He can just yell at you back about you look at his diary... I don't know, I don'th nik I would know what to do, I might just ask straightforward and bravely and sees what happen! I wish you good luck!!
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
its hard for a relationship to work out if one is still in love or still cherish his ex girlfriend or boyfriend. they need to have a closure before you enter into another relationship. Going back to you, i think you have to talk to your boyfriend heart to heart. let him know that you saw him and his girlfriend and then break up with him. he is not worth your love and your time. Because your relationship will never be successful if the past will always come out. If he loves you now he need to have a closure with his ex girlfriend. but i think he love his ex than you. i know its hurt but you have to accept the fact.
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
hmm..thats quite difficult first of all u ignore him so i think thats wrong.. well this is my advice...YOU SHOULD BREAK UP WITH if u want though..but the best thing is to talk to ur BF what u saw...but if u feel he is messing with u dnt hesitate to break up with him..
@flzmlady (419)
• China
17 Jun 09
my suggestion is: BREAK UP WITH HIM AND FORGET ABOUT HIM,FIND YOUR TRUE LOVE. i read your statement, all i can see from the boy is that he is dating with you while not breaking up with his first GF and he is completely cheating on you by telling you that now his love is for you but still hanging out with his fromer GF. he is wasting your love for him together with you. you just think about it:is he worthy of your love by cheating you so much?
@zzyw87 (1260)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
If I were you, I would definitely break up with him. It is not worth it. I know it is very hard to break up with a guy you love. But you would not want to be with a guy who is still in love with another girl, would you? It would just break your heart slowly and make you insecure and hurt all the time. You would just wonder all the time and I don't like confusing stuff. Give yourself a chance to find a guy who really loves you first and foremost.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
Talk to him if who really he loves. If he can't only forget her first gf, you can understand him and do love him more in order for him to forget his first. Try to clear things, as what you had witnessed, if she had reconciled with her former girlfriend or that was just a friendly date. Should he admitted that they reconciled as he still love her, then better for you to know earlier. Since you do love him try to hear his side first. If you think he loves you still then he must not be seeing her former girlfriend anymore.
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
It is difficult to be in that situation. Well, his honesty to you about his feelings for his gf before is good. It is good because he explains his side. But the two of them holding hands in a place and it is out of your knowledge is a cheating. You better ask him about the incident and talk to him. I think it is better to know the truth about your place in his heart. You should know the truth and you want honesty about that because if you would not discuss it with him you will suffer. If he still wants his previous girlfriend then you have to accept it even if it hurts than to live a life of lie with him. Even if you love him that much, your love is not enough to make your relationship happy. His feelings, honesty and fidelity are vital in your relationship.
@ColinYang (193)
• Australia
17 Jun 09
In a situation like this, you should scold him and ask him if he is genuinely in love with you. Make sure that breaking up up with him is a last resort and give him one last chance. If he takes the chance for granted, then don't hesitate to dump him miserably.