When is it time to break up with someone?
June 23, 2009 6:58pm CST
Is there something he or she does that is a key sign? Sometimes couples go through rough times and argue alot, but when is enough enough?
24 Jun 09
Disagreements or arguments are not the key sign. Having a verbal exchange can help the understanding process between each other. A better solution to the problems faced can emerge. I would suggest breaking up if 1) The other person shows more concern towards another man/woman; 2) No compromise is reached in every argument; 3) He/she keeps blaming his/partner for everything that went wrong; 4) He/she listens most to other people even though the partner said it first; 5) He/she prefers having fun with the others. There are other reasons which are more personal and localised, which many may not agree with.
24 Jun 09
I'm starting to think everyone has at least some of these in their relationship. I have fun with my friends too, if its more fun, does it mean I don't like him anymore? I care about him very much, but he said he wasn't ready to say that he loved me for sure, and then in a way, I can't really love him now, and I'm not sure how I feel, because its kind of like stepping backwards all the time. He trusts other peoples opinions more, his friends, for sure. But we havent known each other that long, just i would expect more since i felt we were close.
24 Jun 09
Give a simple test to him, and see how he reacts. Do it in a one to one situation. Tell him that you have to go somewhere for a few days. Ideally this should be true. Listen at what he has to say, and look at his body language, after you have said the words. If he cares for you, he would probably ask when you would be back, and most likely with a softer voice. It is because deep inside his heart does not want to be separated from you. The jealous part ask who you are going with. Depending on your answer the follow up question may touch on the activities you will be involved in. Physically there will be signs of being uncomfortable with the situation. An example is a slight shifting of the eyes, or staring at you due to the unexpected news.
25 Jun 09
When you are not happy with the relationship anymore , it is useless to continue. If the other has become abusive, or is hurting you, then go and end the relationship. Love should not make you suffer. Always ask yourself, what has this done for you? If it has done good for you , then go ahead, continue. If it says otherwise, go and leave.
24 Jun 09
Does that mean the relationship has been bad for a long time? Cos I don't want to experience that, again. I don't think people should be hanging on til the ship has sunk. I think people should watch out for icebergs in the first place and steer clear of them before you hit it. But i agree, you made a good point about feeling free. Its weird if I feel more comfortable hanging out with my friend or something because I know my friend wouldn't freak out, but I'm not in a romantic relationship with my friend, so maybe you never know what people are like till you know them more. So I'm confused of what good, lasting relationships are built on. I think trust, but its hard at the beginning of the relationship if someone doesn't really trust you yet, so in turn I can't really feel totally comfortable with them even though I can talk to them.
• United States
24 Jun 09
When couples are getting along and enjoying the relationship, they work together for common happiness and they communicate with each other. When one partner becomes unhappy he/she sometimes shuts down and stops working to make the relationship good. Other times the partner tries to discuss the problem(s). It's always been my opinion that a relationship is a two way street...give and take. When one partner stops participating, stop trying, starts avoiding the other partner and refuses to do anything to improve the situation...it's time to consider ending it.