Can you say ' NO' without feeling bad about it ?

I've definitely become far more adept at saying no to people these days, but more times than not, there's still a part of me that feels a little guilty about it sometimes. As for being heartless or practical, I think it all comes down to the specific request of you being made. Sometimes we need to say no even when the request isn't unreasonable too because people tend to become too dependent on us otherwise. The challenge is in knowing when to say it!

Its definetely important to say no alot of times in life. It's about personal integrity and standing for what you believe in and whats right.

I can say NO very easily without feeling any remorse in certain situations. When a lazy person breaks an appointment and asked to see me in the oddest hours I say NO without any guilt. When someone asks me whether I want to see one of those run of the mill usual bad movies that is hyped beyond anything I gleefully say NO. I say a firm NO to any extravagance anyone advises. When any of my friends however close may be asks me whether he is looking smart in his new dark magenta shirt I say NO without batting an eye lid. To sum up I always say NO if it can bring some good change in someone.

Hi ALOK! This is an extremely relevant topic as far as I am concerned. I am one of those hesitant creatures who find it very very difficult to say 'NO' and have got hurt terribly in the process. This has given me a lesson that lines must be defined in a very straight manner, right in the beginning so that we do not cause any expectations and later be either blamed[when we do it later out of compulsion], or be forced to keep giving in to the point of being exploited. Being practical at the cost of looking heartless is better when we are heartless without exploiting others. When it is only a safeguard every human being has a right to safeguard oneself and neither take advantage nor be taken advantage of.

at some points in life one has to learn how to say no, we can't always agree to something just to show our support or to let someone always oppress us just because we will not deny anything... saying no is sometimes very important to show others the right way and to not let someone take advantage... in most other cases you need to add a reason to your denial.

I think it depends upon the situation and unto what extent can that person affect you when you have to say 'NO'. Yes, there are times when we feel like we're between 2 opposing forces, a position that none of us would like to be and we know that we have to say NO at some point 'coz it's already hurting. I may feel bad after it but as long as my conscience is clear and thinking it's what's best, then I'll have no problems sleeping at night. On the hand, it's quite easier to say NO to someone you really don't like that much!c:

I'm one of those people who find it difficult to say no and I know that sometimes we have to. There are times I feel bad saying this word and sometimes I find myself trying to make some excuses to avoid saying no. And I think for those who find it easy to say no, are just being practical.

i find it hard to say no especially if the person asking for favor is a close relative or friend.. even if the person is asking too much like taking advantage me and i can't do anything about it i still feel bad and sorry for that person. i'm stupid, that's what my boyfriend is always saying. i'm a people pleaser and i can't do anything about it coz i've been like this for the past 25 years. i may change but not totally.

It depends who am talking to. If it's someone really close to me, yes, it is very difficult to say NO. Can't avoid the guilty feeling after that thinking that I may have hurt the other person's feelings.

honestly this is really very difficult, sometimes i really do feel bad in such situations, even when i know i cannot do what was asked or i have no power to change the situation so as to respond positively, i still feel its natural for some people like me. but Ive known some other people that really would not feel bad about saying NO. its just natural with them, not that they are really mean or acting like bonehead or something. that's what Ive discovered

I am a people pleaser so it is very hard for me to say no. Since I had kids tho I have a new skill, I now can say no a lot and not feel bad. I guess it depends on the situation really.

well, i am one of those people who will hate to say a NO to someone... in fact even if some boy proposes me or wants a date with me, its so hard for me to say that word NO even if i hate myself to be seen with that guy..... its just my nature that i cant tell people no even if i dont like something, may be I am too kind or down to earth, but honestly I am learning to say NO politely as if that makes any difference, but I am still trying my best. However, I have noticed that people tend to take you for granted and take advantage of this nature of people like us, so we really have to take a stand at some point or other and learn to say that BIG word NO no matter how it hurts them.

I both hesitate and feel guilty when I say no. It is not easy for me. Sometimes in my mind I will feel like the other person thinks I am making up and excuse. Then I try to convince them of the necessity of my "no". It seems ridiculous, but alas, it is true. I must say, however, in the last few years, I have been able to say no with far more ease. It has been helpful for me to establish boundaries, especially with those who take advantage of my generally pleasant nature. Saying no without guilt is a huge step in this process. Some folks are good at saying no. Some do it because they are quite self-centered, and others do it because they have self-respect. One must take care of themselves without going to the extreme of being a scrooge.

This situation sounds so familiar to me! My biggest "no" phobia arises when my father is involved. I really don't get on well with him, but he's always wanting to "catch up" and "touch base" (he's more like a manager than a father). Every time he asks, I get a sick feeling in my stomach, coz I don't know how to say no, and I feel guilty because we are related, and I always justify it by saying I'll have to see him at some stage, even if I would rather not! I put it off as much as possible by saying I'm busy, but then he just tries to get me to say when I'm free and he'll make time where he can. So I feel like I either have to meet with him, or say "no" and have to try justify why I don't want to meet with him...and it's not enough to just say I'm not comfortable, even if there are a lot of reasons for it! And the people I love know I don't like seeing him, so every time I give in I feel truly awful, like I've let them down somehow, and revealed myself as spineless or something...and that probably adds to the feeling of dread every time he calls too, but it all comes down to guilt on my part :(

I'm definitely one that has a difficult time telling people no. I'm not quite sure why. I guess because I want everyone to like me and I feel they might not like me if I tell them no. Or maybe I'm afraid I'll hurt their feelings if I tell them no. I'm not sure, but I kind of hate myself for it. I wish I could say no more often. *sigh* I wouldn't say people are heartless for giving a stern no. I kind of admire people who can do that.

There are times that I have no choice but to say no to someone. I fell kind of bad about it, but that is just the way it is. My daddy, he passed away in 1997, used to do whatever my mother's famiy asked him to do for them, even in the middle of the night knowing that he had to get up the next morning and go to work. He did this for many years until the family got better off financially. Then when my Daddy could no longer help them, they didn't know him. I told him many time that he should have had a stopping point and started saying no. Great discussion. Have a great week.

It depends that whether we say no or not without feeling bad about it.It depends upon the maintality of the person. it is the fact that we can't satisfy the needs of every individual. so sometimes we will have to say no .as we rerally feel very badv about it when we say no to anyone.